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Math, science, mystery
Unraveling the history
It all started with the Lord saying let there be light then creating us from dirt and a rib.

Soldier 1: Did you bring the rope?
Soldier 2: You were supposed to
Soldier 1: I have a hammer and nails
Soldier 2: shrugs
Jesus: Fuck

Angel: You really should look at the Ukraine situation.
God: turns up tv Shut up, a bunch of actors are about to thank me eats popcorn

Teacher: Turn to page 0.
hands raise
"But it's-"
Teacher: It's blank, like your future.
You were born to die.
Welcome to Philosophy 101.

Sneak into church on Saturday night and put fedoras on all the Jesus statues.

You know who doesn't give an absolute fuck? Whales. Just swimming around with their mouths open eating all sorts of fish poop. FISH POOP.

Nature: How do you wanna protect yourselves?
Shark: Teeth are good
Snake: I guess venom
Porcupine: Quills

If a man could master the look dogs have when someone is eating in front of them, he'd be able to have sex with any woman at will.

Big Rad Wolf: I'll huff and I'll puff puff pass this shit.
Pig: opens the fuck out of door



The truth is a shitty excuse for a lack of imagination.

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