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After Kiev erupted in protest, then open revolt that caused Yanukovych to flee and Putin to barge into Crimea, it's time to play catch up about a part of the world we generally ignore.  I've been having fun watching the appearance of instant-experts across media landscape from Twitter to cable news.

It seems that in the United States, Ukraine can serve nearly any purpose, from beating the conspiracy drum to boosting the foreign policy cred of a failed vice presidential candidate.  (Never mind the pain and suffering of the people in Ukraine.)  There are plenty of places to find information and analysis about the situation in Ukraine, but Sarah Palin's Facebook page is probably not the best choice.

Enjoy the cartoon, and dive into the links behind the cartoon (found on my site), I spent a good deal of time this week looking into some of the newer digital news outlets that revel in reposting high resolution photos and endless listicles.

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Sure, you could learn all about Ukraine, the Crimean Peninsula, ethnic Muslim Tatars and how Ukraine was nearing a trade deal with the EU when Putin offered them fifteen billion to stick with Russia . . .

But that would take hours, weeks even!  Bor-ing!

Plus, you need to tweet right now, and maybe even go on a cable news show!

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"The Blame Obama!"  

Everyone knows that Obama not-bombing Iran caused citizens in Kiev to revolt, which in turn caused Putin to invade Crimea-- simple!

"The Irony-Free-Russia-Has-Violated-A-Nation's-Sovereignty-and-International-Law-In-A-Brazen-Act-of-Aggression-So-What-If-I-Supported-the-Invasion-of-Iraq Bite!"

Lets you sound stern and legalistic!

"The Told-Ya-So Bite!"  

Popularized by Sarah Palin's prediction that bad-guy Putin would attack Ukraine, now we just have to wait for her other predictions to come true!

"The Listicles Photo Bite!"  

Why explain things when you can just show shocking photos and maps!

Click here for seventeen earth-shattering reasons this is the Ukraine Bite for you!

"The Stewed Toothless Bite!"  

Why not do nothing because you can't do everything?

Tastes great with UN and NATO declarations and usually served when encouraging popular revolt!  Smart, easy and delicious!

And "The Cold War Is Back Bite!"  

Perfect for staying out of the fray while getting those Pentagon budgets back up! Up! Up!

(Just try not to sound too excited about someone else's misfortune.)

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Finally, you can be part of America's pundit class.  Now get out there and get your talking head talking!

Originally posted to Comics on Fri Mar 07, 2014 at 06:50 AM PST.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Why is the US so eagar to prop up a government (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    PSzymeczek, rebel ga, Nattiq

    That have members that are openly hostile towards  gays  and  Jehovah Witness , some of the same corrupt members of the former government are part of the new government , thier are ultra right element in the new government   ,the US government should not be in the business of   promoting  racist in other countries

  •  Beautiful... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    rebel ga

    The only hawk I like is the kind that has feathers.

    by cany on Fri Mar 07, 2014 at 07:49:03 AM PST

  •  Tastiest Ukraine bites… (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    rebel ga, Roger Burke

    …are khrustyky (which I'm given to understand is actually the Russian word, although my native Ukrainian speaking wife insists is the only word she ever heard for it from her Ukrainian born and intensely anti-Russian mother) or hrovost (allegedly the Ukrainian name, which word bride insists she has never heard).

    In simple terms, fried dough covered with powdered sugar. In truth, they are so light and rapid dissolving, they are almost impossible to chew, and it's likely there's no way to eat too many of them. Here's a link to a recipe complete with a picture of what they look like.

    As with many foodstuffs, particularly European, there may be an analog for every nationality, albeit with a different name. "Ravioli" (Polish pierogy, Ukrainian varenecki) is a perfect example.

    LRod—UID 238035
    ZJX, ORD, ZAU retired
    My ATC site
    My Norm's Tools site

    by exatc on Fri Mar 07, 2014 at 08:16:34 AM PST

    •  Fried dough + sugar is a cultural staple (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      Yep, my super-Italian mom made zeppoli, which is fried dough covered with powdered sugar, too.  I don't think we Americans have an actual word for it other than "that awesome fried dough you get at the street fair that's so bad for you but delicious."  Or just "fried dough."

  •  $arah Palin© who™? n/t (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Float like a manhole cover, sting like a sash weight! Clean Coal Is A Clinker!

    by JeffW on Fri Mar 07, 2014 at 09:35:41 AM PST

  •  Excellent! (0+ / 0-)

    Move Single Payer Forward? Join 18,000 Doctors of PNHP and 185,000 member National Nurses United

    by divineorder on Fri Mar 07, 2014 at 12:02:27 PM PST

  •  Dear U.S. Media: (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    WaveyDavey, Roger Burke, wilywascal

    There are hundreds of experts on this region, most of whom teach at institutions of higher education. All you have to do is know how to use a phone, give them an invitation, and know how to say, "So, what's important for us to know?"

  •  Britain's Foreign Office of Mergers & Acquisitions (0+ / 0-)

    has Its Eye on Ukraine.

    Attempt at humor:  My take on this from Weds.  In his 1980's book "Diplomacy," Kissinger related how Britain had historically maintained a semblance of normalcy in Europe by traditionally siding with the weaker side in any conflict.

    In Les Miserable, YOU HEAR: Do you hear the distant drums? It is the future that they bring when tomorrow comes! I HEAR: Do you hear the distant drums? Today’s the day the teddybears have their Piiiiic-nic !

    by Roger Burke on Sat Mar 08, 2014 at 08:46:27 AM PST

  •  No matter how you slice it... (0+ / 0-)

    we need to get out of the war culture we have perpetuated more than any other country on earth for decades.

    Perhaps, if we stop creating/getting involved in wars for a generation or two, we can finally be a nation which is war-free.

    As history will prove (and already has) armed aggression by us should only be used in response to DIRECT armed aggression towards us.

    Sanctions and other non-military actions, at a minimum, work just as effectively and do not result in the needless deaths of our fellow citizens and the expenditure of billions or trillions of taxpayer dollars.

    We need to get the word out there to all the rebels that we will not automatically ramp up our military and support them.

    We need to vote all the "hawks" out of office, and start behaving like adults.

    I believe we should have the strongest and most powerful military force in the world as a deterrent, and I believe that we should seek out and destroy all true threats to our existence; but we need to avoid any further VietNams and Iraqs and Afghanistans.

    Let's find all the true threats (wherever they are on the planet) and "drone 'em" until they no longer exist. Let's stop all these ambiguous operations with no clear goals or objectives. If we are truly threatened, then we should remove the threat immediately, with NO HOLDS BARRED.

    Thanks, Mr. Obama, for thinking clearly and objectively about this latest "shituation" instead of knee-jerk reacting as the likes of McCain, Graham, and Juliani, et. al. would have you do.

    •  Agree with you in most (0+ / 0-)

      except the part about droning. That is almost as if at the individual level (a person) would decide to shoot those that looked at him the wrong way.  How many of those droned were actual threats, as in were actually going to do something to the US.
      Funny how many of those who are against "stand your ground" are in favor of droning which has even less oversight. At least with s.y.g. you have to go in front of a jury and justify your actions. With the drone we will never know (or care, many times) if it was justified (hard to say justified) or just a person whose ideology we did not like.
      Drones are great to spare the lives of US soldiers, but are so easy to use or overuse, that we might be breeding enemies and resentment when there was none before.

      •  I agree with your comments ... (0+ / 0-)

        regarding droning. Perhaps my "drone 'em" statement sounded a bit flippant, but I seriously believe there are better ways to fight certain enemies than just sending a mass of uniformed soldiers to a general region where they can be picked off one-by-one over a period of time.

        What I am advocating is that we identify the true and specific threats against us (those who seek to perform 911-type attacks, etc.) and surgically remove them from the earth.

        The use of drones is not a panacea, and if I were in charge of the drone program, I would not tolerate even the chance of collateral damage.

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