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Call me crazy, but...

I don't think it's just a coincidence that: the 911th anniversary of the Iraq War; the fourth anniversary of Obamacare; Twitter's eighth birthday; Republicans' first re-birthday; the start of the NCAA basketball tournament; the end of Fred Phelps; and, the Vernal Equinox, all occurred this week.

If I was a religious person, I'd be building an ark right about now.

Disclosure: I am not a marine biologist, and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night; I don't claim to know exactly who and/or what is behind this neo-confluence of events, or what it all means.

That being said, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

My sixth sense is telling me that Barack Obama's explosion onto the scene at the 2004 Democratic National Convention caused a ripple in the space-time continuum, and sent shockwaves through our young Earth.

Then, when Obama was subsequently elected president four years later, a black hole formed over Real America, and Vladimir Putin stepped into the leadership vacuum—establishing a New World Order.

And that's where babies come from.


If you agree with my theory, please click here; if not, click here.

Morning lineup:

Meet The Press: Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI); Former Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff; Former President Jimmy Carter (D); NCAA Roundtable: Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, NCAA President Mark Emmert and Former "Body Man" to President Obama/Duke University Football & Basketball Player Reggie Love; Politics Roundtable: David Brooks (New York Times), Rich Lowry (National Review), Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter (D) and Andrea Mitchell (NBC News).

Face The Nation: 2012 Republican Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney; Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH); Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL); "Miracle on the Hudson" Pilot Chesley Sullenberger; David Gallo (Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution); Roundtable: Clarissa Ward (CBS News), Leigh Gallagher (Fortune) and David Sanger (New York Times).

This Week: Nate Silver (FiveThrityEight.com); Roundtable: Rep. Tom Cole (R-OK), Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), Cokie Roberts (ABC News) and Republican Strategist Dan Senor.

Fox News Sunday: Rep. Michael McCaul (R-TX); Former NTSB Investigator Dr. Alan Diehl; Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R); Roundtable: Radio Host Laura Ingraham, Bob Woodward (Washington Post), Former Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz and Juan Williams (Fox News).

State of the Union: Rep. Patrick Meehan (R-PA); Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA); Underwater Search & Rescue Expert Curt Newport; Reverend Earl Johnson (Formerly of the Red Cross); Deputy National Security Adviser Tony Blinken; Former Secretary of State Madeline Albright; Roundtable: Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA), Susan Page(USA Today) and Neera Tanden (Center for American Progress).

Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: interviews with the federal agents in charge of the Boston bombing task force (preview); a report on the "Pink Panther" theieves, who have stolen more than $500 million in valuables over 20 years (preview); and, an interview with David Remick, the editor of The New Yorker, about the magazine's cartoons (preview).

On Comedy Central...

"The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" were in reruns this week, so there are no new videos to share.

Instead, here's Jon Stewart's recent meme-ification of #McConnelling.

The Daily Show

Monday: Arianna Huffington (Huffington Post)

Tuesday: Author Amy Yates Wuelfing & Musician Gibby Hayes

Wednesday: Actor Jude Law

Thursday: TBA

And Stephen Colbert's examination of the Russian propaganda machine.

The Colbert Report

Monday: Actor Bryan Cranston

Tuesday: Former President Jimmy Carter (D)

Wednesday: Documentary Filmmaker Errol Morris

Thursday: Director Darren Aronofsky

Elsewhere...

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) took to the House floor this week to defend the wit and wisdom of Sarah Palin.

"There's many in the United States that actually believe Sarah Palin said, 'and I can see Russia from my house,'" Gohmert said on the House floor. "It was a very clever sketch, it was funny. I laughed when I saw it. But I also knew how intelligent and what a great leader and Governor Sarah Palin had been and what a great leader she is." [...]

Gohmert said he wanted to make sure people had an accurate understanding of Palin's foreign policy chops.

"I just wanted to set the record straight so people will understand and the Congressional Record will properly reflect how prescient that Sarah Palin has been in the past," he said Monday.

Meanwhile...

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConell sought to woo the lady folk at a campaign fundraiser co-hosted by radio commentator Dennis Prager.

In a 2008 column for Town Hall, the radio host opined that if "most women wait until they are in the mood before making love with their husband, many women will be waiting a month or more until they next have sex."

"Thus, in the past generation we have witnessed the demise of the concept of obligation in personal relations," he noted. "To many women, especially among the best educated, the notion that a woman owes her husband sex seems absurd, if not actually immoral. They have been taught that such a sense of obligation renders her 'property.'"

Prager added: "A woman is not 'property' when she feels she owes her husband conjugal relations. She is simply wise enough to recognize that marriages based on mutual obligations — as opposed to rights alone and certainly as opposed to moods — are likely to be the best marriages."

And, in chromosomally-related news...

The head of a conservative PAC targeting female voters in Texas dumbsplained why women aren't really interested in receiving equal pay.

During a Sunday interview with local news station WFAA, RedState Women Executive Director Cari Christman said that the GOP does not support laws like the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which extends the window of time during which women can file pay discrimination claims, because "women want real-world solutions to this problem, not more rhetoric." [...]

"We lead busy lives, whether working professionally, whether working from home, and times are extremely busy," she told WFAA. "It's a busy cycle for women, and we've got a lot to juggle. So when we look at this issue we think, what's practical? And we want more access to jobs. We want to be able to get a higher education degree at the same time we're working or raising a family."

Girl you know it's true.

- Trix

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