Vlad, Vlad, Vlad Putin (sung to the tune of Rasputin by Boney M)
by J. R. Shea
There's a certain man in Russia nowadays
He is blond and buff and a favorite of the gays
Dubya saw a friend when he looked into his soul
But when Vlad looked back he just saw a tootsie roll.
Talked the talk of democracy and freedom
Became a darling of the West
Then walked the walk to another Russian fiefdom
Crazy as the rest.
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad Putin
It’s for him we are rootin,
He’s all that and a big bowl of borshch!
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad Putin
Crimea needs a good lootin
They won’t mind if they’re taken by forshch!
Crushing opposition, its just the Russian way
But its all forgotten when Vlad goes out to play
A shirt has not been made can contain his manly frame
And when nature calls it is calling out his name.
Caring naught for environmental flack,
Vlad puts a headlock on a bear
Keeps an arm tied tight behind his back
Just to keep it fair.
Vlad Vlad Vlad Putin
It’s the press you are mutin’
Ask Pussy Riot what you think of dissent
Vlad Vlad Vlad Putin
Yours will be the horn tootin
The chance for freedom just came and went.
(oh, those Russians!)