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Last Thursday, the Daily Show's Aasif Mandvi had a segment looking at how fracking has affected people living in Bradford County, Pennsylvania.

MARITA NOON: Oil and gas companies are quite good at self-regulating or self-policing.  Because when there are bad actors, it hurts everybody.

AASIF MANDVI: Is there a way oil and gas companies could be better than they are?

MARITA NOON: I would say no, actually.  These oil and gas producers that are there care about the community.

VOICEOVER: See?  They care about their communities.  And there's no way they could be better corporate citizens.  Despite one or two teeny tiny snafus.

Video and full transcript below the fold.

VOICEOVER: We all know the benefits of fracking.  But residents of fracking-affected Bradford County, Pennsylvania, say it also has some minor downsides.

WOMAN #1: Fracking has ruined our quality of life.

MAN #1: Our water contamination here is moving through all Bradford County.

WOMAN #2: Every day there's something new that happens.

WOMAN #3: I had rashes, neurological problems, sleep disruption.

WOMAN #4: Cows had nosebleeds.

AASIF MANDVI: Maybe your cows are doing cocaine.

WOMAN #4: I never caught them doing cocaine.

VOICEOVER: Really?  Well Marita Noon from Energy Makes America Great doesn't see a problem with fracking.

MARITA NOON: Fracking is safe.  Because the average person doesn't understand fracking, the environmentalists are able to use fear, uncertainty, and doubt to plant ideas into peoples' minds.  And they don't do the research for themselves.

You need a tissue.


VOICEOVER: But the gas companies have done the research, along with plenty of investigations into the residents' complaints.

WOMAN #2: If I polluted my neighbor's well, do you think that the DEP would allow me to conduct my own investigation and get back to them on it?

AASIF MANDVI: If your water's contaminated, why not just go to the local store and get yourselves some Evian?

WOMAN #4: I've done that.  The stores don't have water on the shelves.

WOMAN #2: I'd suggest you live here for a month, and see how you feel when we live out of bottled [water].

AASIF MANDVI: Are you hitting on me?

WOMAN #2: No, not at all.

AASIF MANDVI: It sounds like you're hitting on me.

WOMAN #2: Nope, that's not what I meant.

AASIF MANDVI: You're sending mixed messages, young lady.

WOMAN #2: Hm.

AASIF MANDVI: I see what's going on here.

WOMAN #2: Hm.

AASIF MANDVI: Oh yeah.  Fracking.

VOICEOVER: But Noon says the last thing oil and gas companies need are pesky regulations.

MARITA NOON: Oil and gas companies are quite good at self-regulating or self-policing.  Because when there are bad actors, it hurts everybody.

AASIF MANDVI: Is there a way oil and gas companies could be better than they are?

MARITA NOON: I would say no, actually.  These oil and gas producers that are there care about the community.

VOICEOVER: See?  They care about their communities.  And there's no way they could be better corporate citizens.  Despite one or two teeny tiny snafus.

FOX NEWS: A drilling crew punctured the pipeline located south of Dallas.

SCOTT PELLEY: A dozen small earthquakes over the past few years were an indirect result of fracking.

GOOD MORNING AMERICA: An explosion at the Chevron oil refinery in Pascagoula, Mississippi.

MAN #2: If a well explodes, the company should at least alert the landowner.

AASIF MANDVI: What is more direct than the smoke signal and the smell of sulfur?

MAN #1: The oil and gas industry is not being responsible to the people around here.

VOICEOVER: Actually, they couldn't be more responsible.  Like when a gas well exploded in Greene County, Pennsylvania, Chevron came to the rescue with immediate compensation.

PIZZA GUY #1: Chevron come in, they ordered 100 pizzas, 100 bottles of pop.

AASIF MANDVI: Wait, pizza?  They bought pizzas?

PIZZA GUY #1: Yes.

AASIF MANDVI: There was a fire, a person died, and Chevron compensated people with pizzas.

PIZZA GUY #2: I mean, they gave gift certificates out to the community.

AASIF MANDVI: And so how much does that come to altogether?

PIZZA GUY #1: Right around $1,000 dollars.

AASIF MANDVI: $1,000 bucks a pizza?

PIZZA GUY #1: No, $1,000 dollars for the 100 bottles of pop and 100 pizzas.

AASIF MANDVI: Wait, $1,000 total?

PIZZA GUY #2: Yes.

VOICEOVER: So Chevron bought 100 gift certificates good for just one pizza, with just one topping, which expires May 1, 2014.

Thank goodness Greene County's first responders were able to handle the demand.

AASIF MANDVI: So your heroes.

PIZZA GUY #1: I wouldn't say that.

AASIF MANDVI: No, I mean, your heroes.  How are they?

PIZZA GUY #1: You talkin' about subs?


PIZZA GUY #1: Our sandwiches are good.

VOICEOVER: I couldn't wait to deliver this disaster contingency plan to the residents of Bradford County.

MAN #1: You have politicians getting campaign funds from these people.

WOMAN #4: They are taking our property, they are mortgaging the subsurface.

AASIF MANDVI: OK, everybody calm down.  You guys are getting really upset.

WOMAN #4: If your daughter could die from this, wouldn't you be upset?

AASIF MANDVI: All right, all right, OK.

WOMAN #2: If your largest investment loses property value overnight....

AASIF MANDVI: All right, OK.

WOMAN #1: You can't cook and clean for your family.

WOMAN #4: Talk about business, you lose business.

AASIF MANDVI: OK, all right, everyone calm down, OK?  It sounds like you're hungry.  I know just the trick.  Pizza!  Eh?  Who likes pizza?

WOMAN #4: We want our water back.  Period.  We want our lives back.  We don't want your pizza!

AASIF MANDVI: All right.  I'm going to throw in a 2-liter bottle of soda.

MAN #2: How about a DEP investigation?

WOMAN #3: Yeah.

AASIF MANDVI: OK, look regulatory reform is going to take forever.  Pizza, 30 minutes or less.

MAN #1: We cannot live without water.  I mean, we have water pollution, we have air....

AASIF MANDVI: What were you saying?  Keep going.

MAN #1: It's not too bad.

AASIF MANDVI: It's good, right?

See, America?  The solution is as easy as pie.

Jon also covered the news about the Princeton mom who's telling young women to "marry smart" with Kristen Schaal.

Meanwhile, Stephen followed the trend of news shows employing new tricks to try to attract millennials to watch their shows, with a special guest.

He briefly noted that Ukraine had a dolphin army, and then looked at Hawaii's prostitution laws for cops.

Stephen talked with director Darren Aronofsky, and Jon talked with Nate Silver, which of course went long.  Here's the unedited interview in two parts.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Mon Mar 31, 2014 at 07:30 AM PDT.

Also republished by Pittsburgh Area Kossacks, Philly Kos, DKos Pennsylvania, Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group, and Daily Kos.

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Comment Preferences

  •  OK, how come your embeds don't autoplay, yet (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Trix's do on the Sunday Talk diary?

    "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." --M. L. King "You can't fix stupid" --Ron White -6.00, -5.18

    by zenbassoon on Mon Mar 31, 2014 at 07:51:06 AM PDT

  •  Well the old "Bad Actors" Ploy (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Gentle Giant, Jesse Douglas

    This is peoples lives we're dealing with  not  a made for SyFy Channel movie.

    I want 1 less Tiny Coffin, Why Don't You? Support The President's Gun Violence Plan.

    by JML9999 on Mon Mar 31, 2014 at 07:55:17 AM PDT

  •  Canadians can watch the clips here (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    on Comedy Network

    really worth watching because mockery is so well deserved.

    To thine ownself be true

    by Agathena on Mon Mar 31, 2014 at 08:02:26 AM PDT

  •  My only problem with the bit (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Gentle Giant

    ...was that I think the citizens assumed he was on the side of the oil industry.  I was waiting for the "health care in Tennessee" moment and it never came....

  •  There have been several (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Gentle Giant, PinHole

    earthquakes in Oklahoma lately.  Any connection to fracking?  There also was a 2.6 event in British Columbia earlier today that USGS identifies as a "quarry blast"

    "Labor was the first price, the original purchase - money that was paid for all things" -- Adam Smith

    by HugoDog on Mon Mar 31, 2014 at 11:56:17 AM PDT

  •  Frackers' Self-Policing in Pennsylvania Was Made (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    oldmaestro, Da Rock, PinHole, Creosote

    possible by teabaggers in the governor's mansion in Harrisburg (Tom teabagger Corbett) and the teabagger-dominated state legislature who laid off half of the Pa. Dept. of Environmental Protection (aka Pa Dept. of Environmental Prostituion or Don't Expect Protection)

    These teabagger idiots allowed frackers to directly discharge toxic acid frack soup blowback "water" containing carcinogenic, mutagenic, and teratogenic fracking chemicals, toxic heavy metals, brine, raduim, and uranium into the state's rivers and streams.  Many western Pennsylvania rivers and streams have elevated levels of radioactivity necessitating the hiring of analytical chemists to clean up drinking water sources.  

    To top that, these idiot teabaggers gave frackers $1 Billion in corporate welfare cut from the state's education budget so they would build a natural gas procesing plant in western Pennsylvania.

    (Corbett was the Pa. Attorney General who refused to allow the arrest of Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky because he needed the Penn State alumni vote to win the governorshp.  Because of Corbett's criminal obstruction and oppression in the Sandusky child sex abuse matter, many more boys were sexually assaulted resulting in much larger expenses to settle the kids' lawsuits against the university ($60 Million), much larger NCAA financial penalties against the university ($60 Million), and much larger public relations expenses ($Millions) to try and minimize the damage done to the university's reputation.)

    •  Did live in Western Pa. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      PinHole, raspberryberet

      We travel through parts of Western Pa and it is like the Hell Hole of tea Baggers.  During the last Presidential election the signs they put up were about as disgusting as they are.  One thing I will say for them,they have a lot of strip clubs to keep their pure,bigoted minds going.  Eat at their favorite Diners and it's Stepfordville.  All women have 3 different hair styles and hair color.  The men must go to the same Barber,and no one laughs.  They all look as if they have a stick poking in their sides.  Some sport signs"Inquire about Fracking my land".   It's like entering the Twilight Zone.  After riding through it for several hours Pittsburgh looks like the Shiny City on the Hill.

  •  We've been fighting fracking in my area of (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    hbk, PinHole, tommymet

    upstate NY for a few years now. So far, we've been able to keep it at bay, but the energy companies don't give in or back off.
    Water is life. Without it, nothing lives.

    "Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

    by Gentle Giant on Mon Mar 31, 2014 at 12:04:01 PM PDT

  •  Yesterday in (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    oldmaestro, hbk, Back In Blue

    the last round of the Valero Texas Open, they interviewed the CEO of Valero( Oil co.) and made nice.

    Then after he was off, Johnny Miller the colorful analyst made a comment :

    '' With all this fracking we have not determined that the USA has over two trillion barrels of never hear that from you know who''

    I am presuming he was referring to President Obama.

    It pissed me off.
    First off johnny....the President has not hidden the oil bump due to fracking ... I have heard him talk of it.

    He has an all the above energy policy...johnny.

    Go eff yourself johnny

  •  Bradford County 72 percent Corbett in 2010 (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    oldmaestro, NCTim, PinHole

    70-30 Toomey.

    Will any dot-connecting be done this fall and in 2016?

    Or are most of these people both exploited and stupid?

  •  what was the fracking accident in what (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    looks like York or Adams County? It's on the map.

    there's no gas drilling down there, because there's no gas.

    anyone know?

    Dawkins is to atheism as Rand is to personal responsibility. uid 52583 lol

    by terrypinder on Mon Mar 31, 2014 at 12:47:35 PM PDT

    •  Don't know about down east (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      But I was visiting Pittsburgh, for Christmas, and there was a fire at a mine services company operating in Indiana County.  The local fire department refused to go near the fire.  They stayed up wind and at a distance.  Gee, it was just some safe chemicals.

      The trip up 79 was ghastly.  First the W VA mountain topping, then the PA fracking rigs.

      This land is your land and this land is my land, sure, but the world is run by those that never listen to music anyway. ~ Bob Dylan ~

      by NCTim on Mon Mar 31, 2014 at 02:39:54 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  chicken shit Daily Show (0+ / 0-)

    fuck you, Jon Stewart.  

    pizza!  yuck yuck yuck it up.  funny.

    way to make yourself trivial and inconsequential.

    Y'all can stroke each other about how

    "Daily Show goes after the frackers!!!!!"
    ,  but Stewart is chicken to really take on Big Oil.

    Did anyone see a flame come out of a faucet?  No.  We saw flyover people to mock for their lack of sophistication.

    Not amused in New Mexico.  

    don't always believe what you think

    by claude on Mon Mar 31, 2014 at 03:59:02 PM PDT

  •  They have had earth quakes in Ohio, too. (0+ / 0-)

    From Fracking.  My aunt lives there, I used to, and while there are some well known faults there, the earth quakes there were far and few between until they started fraking in the shale.  Now they are regular.  

  •  How ironically appropriate (0+ / 0-)

    that the pizza is from Dandy MiniMart, based in Bradford County. Just about the only place in the county outside the municipalities of Sayre and Athens where one could purchase a pizza, I reckon. However, I wonder whether it was lost on anyone involved that Dandy is owned by Williams Oil and Propane, who are in bed with Chesapeake Energy, "the second largest natural gas producer in the United States and the primary leaseholder in the Marcellus Shale", to build public CNG fueling sites. The "Sayre" (Technically in Athens) fueling station mentioned in the article is up and...aparently running. Not that I'm driving down that way as much as I used to, but I have yet to see even one vehicle using the place when I do.

    The pizza sucks, too.


  •  North east Colo went from farming to fracking (0+ / 0-)

    in five short years.  You can't go a quarter of a mile without seeing a bunch of tanks, pipes sticking up, or one of those enormous well rigs.  So far, so good with my, and the neighbor's, wells, but the story isn't the same north of here or on the western slope.

    All this propaganda about how their methods are all pure and lovely, no danger to the water supply, no explosions, no air pollution, etc makes you wonder what they're covering up.  They're even blowing big bucks on TV commercials meant to assure one and all of how benign their ecological imprint is.

    Yeah, right.  

  •  All very funny. (0+ / 0-)

    But I would have preferred evidence instead of anecdotes.

  •  "... the environmentalists are able to use ... (0+ / 0-)

    fear, uncertainty, and doubt ..."

    RIGHT! - it's the Environmentalists, and other liberal-type fellow travelers, who misinform, obfuscate, and use FUD to bamboozle the public.  Good Conservatives AMERICAN Oil Barons would NEVER use a cheesy tactic like THAT, would they?

    Welcome to Bizzaro world!

    OF COURSE the New Right is wrong - but that doesn't make WRONG the new RIGHT!

    by mstaggerlee on Wed Apr 02, 2014 at 09:08:27 AM PDT

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