This hurts so good. I hope the actor playing Governor Hickenlooper promptly cashed his checks.
If you haven't met Colorado Secretary Of State & hopeful GOP Governor candidate Scott Gessler you are in for a treat.
Yes, he seriously calls himself 'The Honey Badger,' confirming the suspicion that the entirety of his knowledge of the animal came from that years-old 'honey badger don't give a shit' video. You think he knows they are native to Asia & Africa?
Voter suppression, ethics charges, and anonymous letters threatening the press! All that plus a nomination video that will have you proclaiming, "Wait, did he actually say anything that meant anything in those two minutes?"
Our boy G has an American tale, and you need to hear it. Links below.
Let's start with Think Progress, 9/18/13, Meet Top Republican Vote Suppressor Who Wants To Be The Next Governor Of Colorado. It's pretty straight by the ALEC playbook, but Scotty did manage to add his own special cherry of evil to his purge:
2. He disenfranchised active-duty military voters, after promising to protect troops’ right to vote. As a candidate, Gessler attacked efforts to restrict his predecessor’s timeframe for sending ballots to overseas troops — fundraising off of the issue and asking supporters to show their support for him “for protecting our troops’ right to vote” with a $25 donation. But as Secretary of State, he prohibited election officials from sending ballots to tens of thousands of “inactive/failed to vote” voters because they skipped the 2010 election and had yet to respond to postcards asking them to re-activate their registration. When informed that many of those voters were active duty military, Gessler stood firm, saying “my office’s position remains the same.” When Denver Clerk and Recorder Debra Johnson (D) disobeyed the order and decided to send the ballots anyway, Gessler took her to court — and lost.
If that doesn't give you tingles, try to resist this charm:
“They used to accuse Republicans of only caring about God, guns and gays. And what did the Democrats come up with? It’s guns, gays and grass,”
Look how similar we are in Scotty's eyes! He's a community builder.
So, the ethics probe. He spent money he should not have, and lied about it, and then paid it back ... anyway, the original charge was $1200 but he has since spent hundreds of thousands of state money fighting it in courts. He keeps losing. Then he starts all over again in a new court.
Deputy Secretary of State Suzanne Staiert said Gessler probably will appeal. She said her boss was "actually very calm" when he heard the news, but she was fired up. Staiert is a critic of how the five-member commission operates.
See, a senior staffer with a grudge. I told you this story has
everything fun. If we can get Louis CK to shave he could play Scotty in the movie.
January, 2013 Westword did an excellent cover story on the Tao of Scotty G. - a long read but worth it to know the man & the myth.
That anonymous letter I mentioned earlier? That was sent in response to the above story. Signed, A friend from the journalism community, it is a wonderful example of knowing a person by the company they keep.
Clearly, the media establishment is left of center, and while you may continue to sell your journalistic soul to the Democrat Party sub rosa, you aren't fooling anyone worth fooling. Why don't you get some guts and put an end to these cheap, liberal butt-kissing attack pieces? Haven't you had enough of more taxes, more regulation, more welfare, which comes from the liberal Democrat machine in Washington and here in our own Statehouse?
Like I said, the charm simply shines through, yes?
As Scotty reminds us in his nomination video, Democrats have easily won the last two races for Governor.
I say we make it a hat trick. This is where I put the link to Governor Hickenlooper's bio, and before anyone jumps on the '2010' date, please understand = our ballots are not confirmed until this weekend. I'm sure someone will tidy up next week.
Thanks for making it to the end. Please enjoy some Colorado music, with our compliments.