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Last night, Stephen Colbert hit back at Bill O'Reilly for one of his attacks on Stephen Colbert for supposedly bringing down American society.

BILL O'REILLY (4/7/2014): Ahh, but Mr. Colbert is a deceiver.  (audience boos)  I strongly believe in fighting for equality, and also believe institutional bias should be against the law. What I oppose is government trying to impose equality, because every human being is different.
Bill, you've got me all wrong. I agree with every single word you're saying, even if those words don't agree with each other. (audience laughter) You see, I also believe institutional bias should be against the law, and at the same time, believe that government shouldn't do anything about it. That leaves, uh....
Video and full transcript below the fold.


Nation, if you're a longtime viewer of this show, you know that Bill O'Reilly and I have a mutual appreciation society.  I admire Bill, and so does he.  And Papa Bear has been on a hot streak lately.  Last week, I praised him for taking on the far-left's obsession with equality.  But that was just the beginning of Bill's unified theory of why everything is going to hell.
BILL O'REILLY (4/7/2014): The grievance industry basically says that America is not a fair nation.  That the deck is stacked against minorities, women, the poor, gays, atheists, Muslims, you name it.  And the bad guys are white males, the Republican Party, and anybody who doesn't buy into the grievance industry.
Now, you may not have heard of the grievance industry, but they are huge.  They are the ones who manufacture the nation's complaint boxes, those peeing Calvins,

and Yahoo! comments.

(audience laughter)

So, just when did the grievance industrial complex begin?

BILL O'REILLY (4/7/2014): Back in the late 1960s, the Vietnam War caused a huge division in America.  Millions of young people decided their country was wrong for fighting the war in Southeast Asia.  So they launched massive demonstrations all across the U.S.A., and built up a culture based on anti-authority.  That is, the man who had power was bad.  To go along with the political strife, the youth culture embraced sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, changing the country from traditional attitudes to "if it feels good, do it".
"Yeah man, let's defy authority and not go to Vietnam!  Because it feels good not to die in a rice paddy!  Far out, daddy-o!  Keep on truckin'!  Sock it to me!  (wild audience cheering)  "Get a job!  Cut your hair!"

(BruinKid note: This is where I should probably mention that O'Reilly was of fighting age during Vietnam, but did not bother to join the military either to go fight in it, for whatever reason.)

You see, Bill and I know it was crucial to fight that war.  Can you imagine what would have happened to America if we hadn't gone to war in Vietnam?  That means no Forrest Gump, and therefore no Bubba Gump Shrimp Shack mac & cheese.

And I'm sorry, but that's not an America I want to live in.

Folks, this culture of grievance lives on today.  I mean, if you're looking for grievance, look no further than Bill's latest.

BILL O'REILLY (4/7/2014): Recently, Colbert mocked me on the subject of inequality. ... Only about a million people watch his late night program at 11:30, but he is the darling of the far-left Internet, which rhapsodizes over him.
Bill's right.  (audience boos)  For some reason... I know, I know!  Hey folks, I'm not happy about it.  For some reason, the far-left Internet loves me.  I mean, I'm in all the hashtags!

(audience cheers and chants "Stephen!  Stephen!  Stephen!")

You know you people are the blood in my veins, right?  (wild audience cheering)

But folks, if I thought for even one second that something I said hurt Papa Bear's feelings, then I too am hurt.  And to be honest, a little turned on.  Not that Bill would believe me.

BILL O'REILLY (4/7/2014): Ahh, but Mr. Colbert is a deceiver.  (audience boos)  I strongly believe in fighting for equality, and also believe institutional bias should be against the law.  What I oppose is government trying to impose equality, because every human being is different.
Bill, you've got me all wrong.  I agree with every single word you're saying, even if those words don't agree with each other.  (audience laughter)  You see, I also believe institutional bias should be against the law, and at the same time, believe that government shouldn't do anything about it.  That leaves, uh... maybe a voluntary Make a Law, Take a Law tray?

Or roaming gangs of vigilante cannibal equality bikers!

Or... oooh, I know!  We could give Bill O'Reilly a hat and a badge, and let him wander the land, telling pinheads to "Knock it off!  Bing bing bing!"


BILL O'REILLY: Bing bing bing bing bing bing bing.

BILL O'REILLY: Bing bing bing bing bing bing bing.

BILL O'REILLY: Bing bing bing bing bing.

BILL O'REILLY: Bing bing bing.

BILL O'REILLY: Bing bing bing bing bing.

BILL O'REILLY: Bing bing bing bing bing.

BILL O'REILLY: Bing bing bing bing.

I couldn't have said it better myself.  We'll be right back.
Stephen also noted that his hero David Letterman is retiring.  He then had another Cheating Death segment.

Meanwhile, Jon started off his show by noting that Stephen has been picked to replace David Letterman on CBS starting in 2015.  He then looked at the racket that is the NCAA, and the recent push to unionize college athletes.



Jon then showed the campaign ads from pro-NRA candidates increasing in psychotic behavior.

Stephen talked with Sting, who performed "The Last Ship" and "The Night the Pugilist Learned How to Dance", and Jon talked with Stephen's former babysitter, Jennifer Garner.

Originally posted to Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group on Fri Apr 11, 2014 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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