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Look, I understand everything about Bill and Hillary (and probably Chelsea and even that cat Socks) Clinton is part of a pernicious, brilliantly devious plot to sap our precious bodily fluids, sell out our sacred freedoms to the Lizard People and put benzadrine in Mrs. Murphy's Ovaltine, but I just can't dig how Shoespiracy (or Cleatgate) works.

Oh, I'm familiar with the basic theory: Clintonoids hire woman to throw shoe. Hillary unfazed, makes her look steady at the helm and ready to dance with the red phone.

But even the most rabid haters agree this crowd, especially the evil, Hydra-headed Hillary, Bitch of Behghazi, aren't amateurs or idiots.

I mean, wasn't this the bunch that successfully dispatched dozens of opponents during the nineties, without ever leaving a trace? And that was under the time pressure of impeachment.

Don't you think that Slick Willie Incorporated could come up with a better triggerman (or sole mate) than Alison Ernst?

This is the woman who filed a motion in the trial of Colorado mass-shooter What's His Name (f--- him, I don't care), saying he wasn't to blame, but was a victim of a vast criminal conspiracy, including the Aurora theater owner, who had mind-controlled him into the shooting as part of a series of false flag operations designed to...

Ah, I dunno. Precious bodily fluids again.

In any case, don't you think an operation as smooth as the Clinton Crime Syndicate could find, say, a nice, anti-Clinton letter to the editor writer or second amendment crank or known Behghazi outrager to fling footwear at Madam Secretary? Someone not quite so obviously, um, eccentric?

Or could their choice of Ernst be an even deeper twist in the plot? Maybe the woman's right, and What's His Name and she have been the subject of mind control spy rays developed by the space brothers and DARPA at Area 51, to make them the perfect killing (or shoeing) machines, to be switched on at an instant's notice to do their evil master's bidding. You see? It's fiendish!

Or maybe, just maybe, this is a sadly disturbed young woman in great need of psychological care and attention, whose bizarre public antics are a cry for help or the results of decisions made by a brain not quite at the top of its game.

Maybe its just a person doing crazy things in public, trying to associate her causes (whatever they might be) with persons and events of renown, and the fact she chose a Hillary Clinton speech on waste management was pure coincidence.

Or is that too paranoid?

Originally posted to Crashing Vor on Wed Apr 16, 2014 at 06:22 AM PDT.

Also republished by moranbetterDemocrats.

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