Rick Perry is going all out to present a new and improved version of himself — the swaggering big-state governor of old, with a dash of seasoned wise man thrown in.Swaggering, dude. Swaggering! How swaggering? This swaggering:
... one can find Perry weighing in on Russia and the Monroe Doctrine on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” as the mostly liberal panel notes his “charm”; last fall, he visited England and Israel; and he has possible trips to Asia and India in the works.Whoa. Morning Joe? India? Dude, this guy is totally rad! If he weren't such a Republican stick in the mud, I could totes support him! But wait:
“You don’t want to ruin a kid’s life for having a joint,” he said in discussing how to punish marijuana users.That's amaze-balls! The guy doesn't want to ruin someone's life for having a joint! What a freaking progressive-minded genius he is. Such a breath of fresh air, because typically most politicians want to ruin someone's life for smoking a joint.
Speaking of drugs, Perry has an explanation or why he sucked so much in 2012:
... his long recuperation from back surgery impeded his performance last time. And he would be much better-prepared than last time, when he entered the race late.So this time Perry's campaign won't be a drug-infused brain fart, which makes for a great comeback story, right? But we've saved the best for last:
The Texas Republican’s hip glasses are still earning approving media mentions long after he first donned them.That's right. Because the thing that's really going to make a difference for Rick Perry in 2016 is his sartorial splendor, which apparently knows no parallel, at least when it comes to eyewear.