This is a really personal post. It is about my time in a nursing home, although they all prefer to be called “personal care homes” or “rehabilitation centers” now. My experience was horrible.
I had an accident. Wait, that is a stupid statement, who in the hell would do what happened to me on purpose?
I was injured, pretty badly. My right leg was shattered, they managed to save it, but I wonder if that is a good thing because of the agony it causes me to this day. My left arm was paralyzed, well most of it, mostly my hand. I have regained movement there, although not strength. I had a collapsed lung and several broken ribs, and lots of other injuries. But that really doesn't matter. My injuries don't matter, because that is not the point of this article.
I was treated like shit. I was not a person, I was shit.
I did not complain at the start. I could not. I was caught without benefits (between jobs).
I am not a moocher. I worked my way through college. I'm not bragging. I had help and lots of it. For starters, I had a half scholarship (academic). My family also gave me whatever support they could. Yet, I still had a job and worked full time (60+ hours per week) and went to school, full time. And I supported my mom and little brother after my father shot himself. But that was awhile ago...
Still, I ended up in the nursing home. The snake pit. It was horrible.
You get a shower once a week, unless you are not in your room at the time. I was in “therapy” then, so no shower for me. No matter how much I begged.
Please, do not be a vegetarian in one of these places. I'm kinda avant-garde, I have not eaten meat in a long time (okay, forty years). They cannot deal with it. When you ask what is in your food, the staff will take it away and treat you like an idiot (“I warned you before, if you ask that again, no food for you!”) I missed a hell of a lot of meals.
Please, please, nobody tell me I should have stuck up for myself. You do not understand. I could not walk, I was in a wheelchair. Got that?
Sigh.
My first room mate was a senile old guy. Not that I have anything against senile, old guys, but this dude was MEAN. He broke out of the joint one night and was consigned to the crazy floor, so good riddance. A couple of other room mates. One guy, they liked to change his colostomy bag at mealtimes. I mean every mealtime. I was so happy when he left.
So they stuck a maniac in with me. As a room mate. Lovely. He was so filthy, they took all his clothes. So he ran around the room naked for a few days. He swiped my TV remote and would not give it back. He threatened to kill me a lot. He told me it would happen in my sleep.
So then I complained. Well, I locked myself in the bathroom (it was as far as I could get, in my condition). I rang the emergency thingamajigger, and when somebody came, I told them I was afraid for my life.
So now I am the bad guy. I am the troublemaker. They had to find somewhere for me to sleep (although I can sleep anywhere, in just about any position, I told them that).
They next day, I tried to complain. Everyone said, “not my business, go to the 'social worker'”.
WTF? Social Worker? Apparently that is an actual job title in these places.
So I found the “Social Worker” and informed her that they stuck a maniac in my room. She said, “So what?” I then told her that he was dangerous. She said, “So what?” So I said, if that guy kills somebody and they call me to testify, I will tell them everything that happened, I will tell them the truth. She stood up and screamed, “Are you threatening me?”
So I said, “What, are you nuts? I am in a wheelchair. I can't walk.”
At which point she screamed, “That is a threat! Help!” and she ran from the room.
She ran to the administrator of the building. I could not, since I could not walk. She told the administrator that I threatened HER.
Of course, the admin did not believe her, since I was (and am) a TOTAL CRIPPLE who cannot walk, at that time with a freakin' paralyzed arm. I was incensed. I demanded she call the cops. Yet, she told me that the only credible threat in the building was ME. Since I was a patient, against an employee. So call the cops already. But no, she just kept bullying me. Her only goal was for me to finger one of her employees, the overworked, underpaid staff. This woman made six figures a year, yet she wanted me to fink on some poor woman (they were all women) who changes diapers on adults for a living.
So I told her (the admin) about how the heat in my room broke. A week ago. In winter. I told her about how there was shit in the sink in my bathroom when the colostomy guy was there. I told her about my damned cable bill, when I had to flee my room and they wanted to charge me another fifty bucks connect fee for the new room. I told her about how damned hungry I was, because they would not feed me. She told me “So what?” She knew that my niece worked there, and if I complained, she would fire her. Without cause, of course. According to her.
I cannot help it. I think that if we had Obamacare a few years ago, my experience would have been a little different, because maybe I would have been able to LEAVE, even if I could not walk. Maybe, just maybe, I could have found someplace that treated me like a human being. And they would not have cut off my benefits, I could walk again or live without pain. At this point, I would consider amputation of my leg, because that would let me walk (with a prosthesis) and relieve the pain.
If I did not live in Pennsylvania, with our evil governor, I could walk now. I need medical care. I used to be productive. I was a damned computer guy. Now, I'm just a damned cripple.