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To everybody’s’ surprise the NRA has announced that guns in the hands of people can kill.

The NRA states:

Guns do not kill people, however in the people's hands there is always the remote possibility that someone could be killed by accident.  So remote that there is more risk from tornadoes than guns, and much more risk for those weapons of mass destruction, automobiles.


the spokesperson continued,
When used appropriately guns can kill. Used by the military they do an excellent job on the battlefield, sometimes even killing enemies. When used by law enforcement there is a slight possibility guns used correctly can even kill violent criminals, especially those at home armed with a dangerous beer.

We all know that guns are extremely effective at killing teenagers armed with a concealed can of iced tea. That is well documented.
These appropriate uses of guns are not the subject of our second amendment discussion today.

The NRA proposes to form Militias of armed citizens to carry out swift and effective executions in our Correctional Institutions.

These Militias, used as Firing Squads , will relieve states of the expense and embarrassment caused by use of untested execution drug cocktails, because we  are absolutely certain  our bullets are tried and true, with a long history.

To remunerate these volunteer worthies for their service to the state, we propose that the state provide the bullets they use, complete with tax credits for bullets used for target practice.  This use of guns is well documented, effective and relatively but expensive (unless you include the tax credits).

We believe serving members of the Militia Firing Squads are practicing their second amendment rights, and should be provided every opportunity to receive both free ammunition (for the Militia) and tax credit for (Practice) ammunition, up to 100,000 rounds per weapon per year.

We believe these well-armed citizens, as part of a well ordered militia, will be experienced and well-trained after they use 2,000 rounds of ammunition for practice every week.

To fulfil the need for complete disclosure the NRA executive have an option to purchase the third largest ammunition suppler in the US, to help the Militated Firing Squads fully execute their duties.
The new slogan for the NRA’s campaign is: Guns Out, doing Duty first, or as acronym: GOD first.
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Comment Preferences

  •  Of course they did. :( :( :( nt (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Lefty Coaster

    "The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?" ~Orwell, "1984"

    by Lily O Lady on Mon May 05, 2014 at 06:11:11 PM PDT

  •  Doesn't Utah still have firing squads? (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    We still have hanging as an option in my state


    "If Wall Street paid a tax on every “game” they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on." ~ Will Rogers

    by Lefty Coaster on Mon May 05, 2014 at 06:21:44 PM PDT

    •  Not really, it was an option (0+ / 0-)

      for those sentenced to death and having chosen that method prior to the repeal of firing squads in 2004. the last one to choose that route was Ronnie Lee Gardner, shot in 2010. According to wikipedia, there were three relatively recent firing squad executions, Gary Gilmore in 1977, John Taylor in 1996, and Ronnie Lee Gardner in 2010.


      Moderation in most things.

      by billmosby on Mon May 05, 2014 at 07:50:40 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Satire? I think not!!! n/t (0+ / 0-)

    sometimes the dragon wins

    by kathy in ga on Mon May 05, 2014 at 07:34:57 PM PDT

  •  When I saw the headline, I thought, they (0+ / 0-)

    really did it this time. Full court press.  The crazies like wacky wayne are itching to shoot someone. There is no reason for a SYG or castle law like the one that got that exchange student killed, unless someone wants to shoot another person very badly.I bet if they have a lottery it will crash their server faster than the ACA rollout. The inmates, representing .01 of the population or less, have taken over the institution. Welcome to the rabbit hole.

    You all laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're all the same

    by sajiocity on Mon May 05, 2014 at 08:12:29 PM PDT

    •  The objective is (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      to be topical, possibly credible, humorous but just over the top.

      That's the fun part.

      And hopefully preempt any possibility of implementation with ridicule.

      The second part is deadly serious.

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