Who cares what 4 out 5 dentists think. They chose to smell mouths for a living. These are not rational people.
People say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” like it’s some deep shit. That’s like saying “eyes see shit.”
Guns don't kill people. Unfulfilling desk jobs kill people. Slowly. 5 days a week. Until they're empty shells.
Wednesday stems from the Latin word “wednesdei” which means “good luck trying to spell me you motherfucker.”
Am I an angry person? Fuck yes. Why aren’t you?
If you live life without ever thinking “holy shit everyone is a fucking moron,” then you might be a fucking moron.
Getting offended on the Internet is like eating soup with a fork and blaming it on the spoon.
Most people fail to dress for the weather when putting themselves out there and then blame the weather for being so cold.
“911 what’s your emergency”
You didn’t say please
“What’s your emergency please”
Some guy’s threatening me because I’m “annoying”