It all began Monday, two weeks ago.
From: Manny FavelaHeavens! What fraudulent, defaming, slanderous content could possible be sullying this here respectable site? I opened up the attached letter with trepidation (not really).
Dear Markos C. Alberto Moulitsas Zúñiga
We have sent you a letter (see attached) regarding a Fraudulent, Defaming, and Slanderous listing that was posted on your site. We followed up with an e-mail to your general e-mail as provided on your Web Site and are now making our final contact
As stated, if this listing is Not removed we will be taking ALL action available to us. If you continue to be evasive I assure you I WILL FIND YOU!!
The simple solution is to remove this form your site, If not we will meet very soon.
Again as I state in the attached letter, if you would like to discuss this please respond with your phone number and the best day and time to contact you.
Dear Markos C. Alberto Moulitsas ZúñigaThe "respectfully" was a nice touch, given his "I WILL FIND YOU!!" from the email.
We are reaching out to you to inform you of a recent posting on your site from one of your members or subscribers. This posting is unfounded and much of the information has been deliberately altered and or eliminated in an attempt to support this individuals self serving agenda.
The title of the listing is “Warning Avoid Park Avenue Enterprises (Chino)”
We are requesting this be eliminated from your site. This posting is Fraudulent, Slanderous, and Defaming to us as a company and to the reputation of our product.
To provide you with a very brief overview, this individual purchased our product and failed to read and follow the assembly instructions thus causing damage to the product. The damage caused is not under warranty however we made 2 attempts to help him correct the problem and both times the individual provided us with a response stating, he could not comply, and or refused what we had offered.
For the reasons stated we are respectfully requesting this posting be removed from your site. Should you choose not to remove this listing our next step will not be so pleasant. We have sent this on the date provided above; we will provide 3 days for you to receive it, and another 5 days for the posting to be removed.
If by April 29th the posting has not been removed we will move forward with legal action and all additional avenues available to us. We are hoping this action will not be required. However we are prepared to take ALL Action necessary, whatever that may be, to have this Fraudulent and Slanderous listing removed.
Thank you in advance for your time reading this correspondence. Should you like any additional information please send me your direct contact phone number and I will respond.
Park Avenue Enterprises
So I looked up the horrendously offensive blog post, and it was this one by Charles CurtisStanley, partner of Kitsap River. Egads, what slander had he been engaging in?
Actually ... it was a hilarious diary where Charles' recounts his dealings with a defective lamp manufactured by Manny Favela's company. I mean, maybe it wasn't hilarious to Charles having to deal with the rude assholes who seem to staff that enterprise, but it was such a surreal exercise in how NOT to treat your customers that I couldn't help but laugh. And full of mirth, it was time to reply to Mr. Manny Favela, the same Mr. Manny Favela that told a customer that:
It is clear you do NOT possess the Mental Fortitude nor the Mechanical Aptitude to assemble this Lamp.It was time to have some fun at his expense.
From: MarkosLiterally six minutes later, he responded:
To: Manny Favela
I take it you haven't actually talked to a lawyer, right? Because any half-assed lawyer would laugh you out of your room.
You assert Fraud, Defamation, and Slander.
Well, Slander only applies to oral statements. So that's out.
Fraud only applies to deception designed to garner financial gain. So that's out.
And while defamation certainly applies, truth is an absolute defense, and you're not asserting that the email correspondence between you and the diarist in question was false.
So to quote yourself, "it is clear you do not possess the Mental Fortitude" to properly respond to this situation. Next time, get a lawyer, embarrass yourself a little less.
From: Manny FavelaI will STAND BEFORE HIM! Of course, there is zero chance of that ever happening for lots of reasons that I won't get into, because no one wants to read this feature and get slapped with a legal brief. Suffice it to say, the Communications Decency Act protects sites like this one from assholes like that one. So I'm not sweating it. And I'm not done poking him.
OK, I got it! The truth is NOT provided, and it is NOT my place to prove anything to you! So, we will proceed and I assure you the day will come when you are standing in front of me! We’ll see then if you assert tour self as you have in an e-mail.
I WILL SEE YOU SOON!
From: MarkosNo response this time. Or sight of him, either. Oh well.
To: Manny Favela
It's been eight days, and STILL you haven't seen me! I was sitting here today going, "huh, the day when I am standing in front of M FAVELA hasn't come yet. So weird! Did your dog chew up your legal deposition?
Or did someone finally explain to you how Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act works? I mean, I wouldn't want to let reality intrude into your little crazy fantasy world. But at some point, it has to.
Should you choose not to remove this listing our next step will not be so pleasant.I eagerly away the next bout of hilarity.