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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

Oh! More Things I Know:

>> The 2014 Netroots Nation convention starts in 65 days.

>> The conservative windbags are freaking out over the video of Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend. How silly. Everyone knows girls are the ones with cooties.

>> American workers can't have federally-guaranteed vacation or sick days because not having them is part of what makes our nation exceptional.

Schrodinger's Phone graphic---funny
Well, duh.
>> When you vote for Republicans these days you're essentially saying, "Yes, I approve of cruelty against women, children, minorities, the poor, the elderly, our troops and the planet."

>> FCC chairman Tom Wheeler is what ISPs think of when they don't have any Viagra handy.

>> Bad news: the deadline to do something to stop manmade climate change is 2:30 this afternoon. Good news: that's Pacific time, so the rest of us back east have a little wiggle room.

>> Since he took office, Senator Cory Booker
has rescued three congressmen from trees.

>> I favor a constitutional amendment that says if your state is dumb enough to pass a law letting people brandish guns in bars, churches and stores, that state must also let people brandish them in its capitol building.

>> The biggest morale-booster for Democrats this month: Allen West announcing that he might run for president.

>> Marco Rubio is not an idiot. He is, however, a fool.

>> The Maine Department of Tourism reminds anyone thinking of vacationing in Florida that no man-eating Burmese pythons have been spotted on the loose in our state since ever.

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Note: Today is Tuesday the 13th.  Some people have said that it's not an unlucky day like Friday the 13th.  May they rest in peace.
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Beer Bacon Music Festival Frederick Maryland graphic 2014
4 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of the Memorial Day weekend: 10
Days 'til the Beer-Bacon-Music Festival in Frederick, Maryland: 4
Number of veterans who have lost unemployment insurance because Republicans refuse join Democrats in renewing it: 270,000
(Source: Nancy Pelosi)
Increase in solar power deployed as a result of President Obama's executive actions announced last week, enough to power 130,000 homes: 850 megawatts
Reduction in carbon pollution as a result of the solar initiatives, equal to taking 80 million cars off the road for a year: 380,000,000 metric tons
(Source: Think Progress)
Percent chance that Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) believes man-made climate change is just a silly "notion": 100%
Percent chance that Adam B has seen some weird argle-bargle in his career: 100%
(Source: Adam B)

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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:

Our nation's journey... toward...
gayness?
Where are we going?
And is there an exit along the way, 'cause I'm not taking this ride.
---Commenter bkeysr at Twitchy
All together now: 1…2…3… Classy!

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  Saved!

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JEERS to picking your battles carelessly.  A double internet wedgie for two odious jerks.  This is George Will on Fox News Sunday, thinking he was scoring points by mocking Michelle Obama for holding a "#BringBackOurGirls" sign:

"It's an exercise in self-esteem. I do not know how adults stand there, facing a camera and say, ‘Bring back our girls' Are these barbarians in the wilds of Nigeria supposed to check their Twitter accounts and say, 'Oh, Michelle Obama's very cross with us, we better change our behavior?' … It's a little bit like environmentalism has become. The incandescent light bulb becomes the enemy. Has no effect whatsoever on the planet, but it makes people feel better about themselves."
I don’t know, George.  Maybe you should ask this adult not named Michelle Obama who is also standing there facing a camera:  

Meanwhile, Ann Coulter tried to sabotage the BBOG hashtage on twitter by holding up a sign saying "Bring Back Our Country."  And since liberals are infinitely better at turning the tables, Coulter walked into a buzzsaw.  Always fun to fire when ready, ain't it, Gridley?

CHEERS to marchin' down the aisles.  Two marriage-equality updates from two southern states.  In Arkansas, where gay couples have been getting married since a judge ruled in their favor Friday, knots will continue to be tied today thanks to a pokey appeals process.  So far only one old lady sittin' on her back porch has blamed the thunderstorms on gay marriage.  (But we hear she's pretty influential with the gossip at barn dances.)  Meanwhile, all the eyes not focused on Arkansas are locked on the commonwealth of Virginny, where more hot lawyer-on-lawyer-on-judge action is scheduled.  Here's a summary from HRC that was sent to me "For Your Eyes Only," which I assume means you, so here ya go:

May 13, 2014...Graphic for Virginia marriage appeal.
Today: Virginia!
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The Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals will hear oral argument in Bostic v. Schaefer, the legal challenge to Virginia’s ban on marriage rights for same-sex couples. The case…will be argued by Ted Olson [Rah Rah!!!] and David Boies [Rah Rah!!!], the legal duo who helped strike down California’s discriminatory Prop 8 before the U.S. Supreme Court last year [Rah Rah!!!].  ...  State Attorney General Mark Herring has refused to defend the state’s ban on marriage equality and filed a brief in support of marriage rights for same-sex couples.
I'm not sure what argument the opposition will trot out, but I'd love to see them try Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear's recent assertion (he's got his own appeal going on in his state) that married gay couples---not unmarried gay couples, just married ones, mind you---have some awesome power to neutralize straight married couples' sex drives.  Because what the world needs more than anything is the healing gift of laughter.

CHEERS to Republican Presidents with a conscience.  105 years ago today, Teddy Roosevelt spoke at the Governor's Conference on the Conservation of Natural Resources: "The natural resources of our country are in danger of exhaustion if we permit the old wasteful methods of exploiting them longer to continue."  The president of ExxonMobil issued a brief statement this morning to mark the occasion: "Teddy who?"

JEERS to today's boring correction.  The gang of heavily-armed men in designer Oakley sunglasses "guarding" the Bundy compound has been billed as a patriotic, freedom-loving, self-reliant militia protecting a simple rancher from tyranny.  This characterization is in error.  They are actually a bunch of deadbeat taker-moochers begging for handouts while protecting a simple imbecile from paying his taxes.  Please make a note of it.

CHEERS to the Holy Grail of philately.  On May 13, 1918, the first 24-cent stamps featuring the Curtiss Jenny biplane---the aircraft chosen to inaugurate the U.S.'s new air mail service---reached post offices.  Collectors heard that some of the stamps could be rare "inverts," so they fanned out to find them.  Some were successful in locating one of these:

Inverted Jenny Stamp
Today the stamps are worth approximately one bazillion dollars.  Or, put another way, slightly less than a year's worth of Goldman Sachs bonuses.

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Five years ago in C&J: May 13, 2009

JEERS to foot-dragging.  And after all that---which is to say, after much ado about absolutely nothing---David Vitter lifted his stupid hold on FEMA Director-in-waiting Craig Fugate's nomination.  So now, thanks to the Louisiana senator's silly pissypants routine [insert diaper joke here], Fugate has less than three weeks to prepare the agency for the start of the Atlantic hurricane season.  Step 1: Find out what Michael brown did as FEMA head...and then do the exact opposite.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to a picture saying three words:

Washington Monument
"Back Open Hooray!"

Oh, and happy 50th birthday to Stephen Colbert.  He'll have to speak his conservative truthiness a little louder now so he can be heard over the sound of his creaking liberal knees.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

“Everybody’s gone completely crazy on this Cheers and Jeers thing.”
---Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY)

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