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President Obama has launched a global effort to find 30 million true patriots "look I don't want to panic anyone" he said "the NSA are of the opinion they took a wrong turn at some point in their journey."

Francois Hollande has confirmed that Paris has no more than the usual amount of American tourists, the Chateaus of the Loire have also failed to be overrun.

Angela Merkel declared "we also have failed to locate more than the usual number of Americans in the beer kellers".

David Cameron has launched a nation wide search of UKIP offices to see if the patriots have taken refuge there. The Queen also failed to note any former subjects wandering around Windsor Castle.

Tony Abbott said "not here either".

Vladimir Putin has been quoted as "we are not sure, Russia is a big place they might have got lost".

Kim Jong-un has heightened border security claiming this is an Imperial deception and that the patriots have entered the KDZ and will be repulsed by the glorious leader himself. A victory parade has been planned for tomorrow.

Fox News are planning a 550 week expose on how 30 million Americans were taken up by communist aliens.

Darrell Issa has demanded a Benghazi Patriot exploratory commission to investigate the link between Hillary Clinton, Al Qaeda and 30 million missing real Americans.

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