Following in Starbucks’ footsteps, Chipotle yesterday issued a statement not banning guns, but saying “we are respectfully asking that customers not bring guns into our restaurants, unless they are authorized law enforcement personnel.”The problem, you see, is that people like Jackass Joe and Jackass Joe Junior up there decided to exercise their God Given Rights to show their fellow Americans that they really could start killin' people for fun, if they wanted.
“The vast majority of gun owners are responsible citizens and we appreciate them honoring this request,” Chipotle noted in the very generous statement, adding “the display of firearms in our restaurants has now created an environment that is potentially intimidating or uncomfortable for many of our customers.”
Earlier this month, members of a Texas group calling itself Open Carry Tarrant County marched into their local Dallas-area Chipotle and scared customers half to death. As you can see from this image, these two young gun slingers (and others) were armed with assault weapons and semiautomatic handguns, posing for photos.And maybe getting your picture taken in Chipotle with your favorite prosthetic genitalia would have gone better if you were at least enough of a Responsible Gun Owner to keep your finger far away from the trigger, Jackass Joe Junior, but probably not. It's a little bit amazing that a fellow Responsible Gun Owner has never seen a group of men march into a local restaurant with assault rifles and decided to be a hero by shooting them first, but I suppose all the groups doing this have so far been Pretty Damn White, which is probably the key. If five or six black guys were to go into a Texas restaurant carrying those same guns, as is their equivalent God Given Right, Fox News would run no other story for the next 20 years. This group of rejected Red Dawn wannabees, though, they're patriots.
So Chipotle responded in the most gentle possible way you could respond to a group that wandered into one of their restaurants loaded for bear and scaring the piss out of everyone else in the building—they nicely asked that people maybe try to not do that. This has resulted in the predictable calls to boycott the restaurant by people who are terribly offended that Chipotle would endanger America like that.
This is probably a huge net plus for Chipotle. They asked politely that people not come into their restaurants waving their goddamn guns around; the people who most like going into restaurants and waving their guns around are so very outraged by this request that they're gonna not go into their restaurants waving guns around. Well, there ya go; everybody's happy.
Still think it's only a matter of time before these jackasses get shot, though. This isn't the first time they've done this, and one of these times they're going to walk into a Texas business where the owner has just as big a gun fetish as they do.