"I, John Boehner, do solemnly swear that I will manipulate the Constitution of the United States against all enemies of the GOP, especially any uppity negro Presidents; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to my party over country; that I will take this obligation with the backing of corporations, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion that any Supreme Court majority could be bothered to bring to trial, and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter as long as it results in embarrassingly massive economic benefits for my financial benefactors. So help me Koch."