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According to a piece in Politico, New Jersey’s vindictive bridge-closing transportation system terrorist Governor Chris Christie has shed around 85 pounds to come in at about 230 pounds, which would give him a BMI of 33.  Obese, but not the extremely obese he was.

As sveltely obese, Christie now fits in with over 30% of Americans who are getting ready to crush the healthcare system with early-onset diabetes, heart problems, and the dozens of other major health train wrecks that come from carrying a chair-busting BMI over 30.  

Of coarse, Christie didn’t have the willpower redirect food from the entrance ramp to his mouth – he reserves that iron will for closing bridges.  Instead, he had lap band surgery last year.  We’ll see how he does when he gets un-banded (most balloon back even worse).  Bet on that not happening before 2016.

If Chris can keep the weight off, he has a pretty good shot at President: “Bridgegate” is all but forgotten; he did his “working across the asile” sucking up to Obama during hurricane Sandy; and Americans just love loud-mouthed ignoramuses.  There’s no one seriously challenging this guy.  Hillary is toast (even Democrats can’t stand her), Elizabeth Warren would be a shoe-in if this weren’t a country of stupidos, and there’s no other Democrat currently on the horizon that would be a contender.

All we can hope for is for Chris to go all manorexic on us and creep us all out like Matthew McConaughey did (they both already have the asshole factor down cold), or for Americans to suddenly get smarter and go for Warren.  Neither one seems likely.

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