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Last night, Jon Stewart came back from a week's break to talk about the UCSB shooting, and the media's reaction to it.

But what about the real victims — the news networks, who are still going to have to waste valuable time going through the motions of covering these inevitable, clearly unstoppable, every day, ordinary, soul-destroying slaughters? So for them, we present a comprehensive reusable one-size-fits-all mass shooting coverage go-kit, to get everybody back to apathy as quickly as possible.
JORDAN KLEPPER: Another mass shooting this afternoon. This is a shocking, horrifying story.

JASON JONES: The cause? No one can say for sure. Possibly media violence. Or dubstep. Or gluten. But definitely something that is not guns.

JESSICA WILLIAMS: Of course there is nothing we can do to stop this from happening. Even though pretty much every other developed country has somehow stopped this from happening.

SAM BEE: And since we can't always stop this from happening, why ever try to stop it from happening? So... we're good? OK! Let's get back to the news.

Video and full transcript below the fold.


Oh, there was another mass shooting.  Seems like that happens every time we're off for a week.  Or when we're working for a week.  Actually, it pretty much happens every fucking week.  Even Google Street View's changed its format to first person shooter.

You know, it's a tragic story, but America's response to this new tragedy has given me hope.  Remember after Columbine and Virginia Tech and Aurora and... all those other ones into Newtown, how we fell into confusion and despair?

REPORTER (4/20/1999): Why this happened will take some time to sort out.

SOLEDAD O'BRIEN (7/23/2012): Big question, of course, today is why.

ERIN BURNETT (12/18/2012) Searching for answers.  That's what we've all been doing.  Trying to understand how this happened and why it happened.

ANDERSON COOPER (12/16/2012): What causes this kind of a shooting?  How can this happen?  And how can they be stopped?

We thought they could be stopped!  Oh Anderson, were we ever so young and innocent?  And yet still completely fucking gray?

We desperately looked for explanations.

CNBC REPORTER (12/19/2012): Some people in Congress blaming violent video games.

MIKE HUCKABEE (12/14/2012): We've systematically removed God from our schools.

DEBORAH FEYERICK (12/18/2012): He was so awkward, so gawky, so out of place, and anti-social.

MEGYN KELLY (12/14/2012): Also being told that his parents were being divorced.

Divorced!!  It's why 50% of marriages end in mass shootings.  (audience laughter)  And then eventually, during the whole process, somebody would get the crazy idea that we should do something about it.
MIKA BRZEZINSKI (1/17/2013): President Obama plans to introduce legislation next week calling for the biggest changes to gun laws this country has seen in two decades.
Now, obviously, none of that went anywhere, but it was a nice sentiment.  It's like offering to help your friend move, when you know your friend is never going to take you up on it, because he's got a weird, almost psychotic, thought that "if only the Jews had had apartments and Hitler hadn't taken their apartments, the Holocaust may never have happened".  (confused audience laughter)

But, something amazing has happened.  A breakthrough, if you will, in the way we deal with the incredibly unique amount of mass shootings we currently experience in this country.  Our grief has moved, as Dr. Kubler-Ross said it would, from denial to anger to bargaining to depression, to our most resolved emotional state.  I give you, acceptance.

RYAN LIZZA (5/27/2014): Gun legislation in the current political climate is just very very unlikely.

CHRIS CUOMO (5/27/2014): The gun debate has become toxified.

SEAN HANNITY (5/28/2014): If they can't kill with a gun, they're going to kill with a knife.

DEBORAH FEYERICK (5/24/2014): It's an ongoing conversation, and it's one that's never going to be resolved.

BILL O'REILLY (5/28/2014): No matter what society does, there will always be mass murder.  Always.

(nervous audience laughter)

Worst Love Is... figurine ever.

(audience laughter)

You see, people, acceptance!  That's where we were trying to get to all along.  It's like America has a dog that's always shitting inside the house, and we solved the problem by getting a brown rug.

(audience laughter)

But what about the real victims — the news networks, who are still going to have to waste valuable time going through the motions of covering these inevitable, clearly unstoppable, every day, ordinary, soul-destroying slaughters?  So for them, we present a comprehensive reusable one-size-fits-all mass shooting coverage go-kit, to get everybody back to apathy as quickly as possible.

JORDAN KLEPPER: Another mass shooting this afternoon.  This is a shocking, horrifying story.

JASON JONES: The cause?  No one can say for sure.  Possibly media violence.  Or dubstep.  Or gluten.  But definitely something that is not guns.

JESSICA WILLIAMS: Of course there is nothing we can do to stop this from happening.  Even though pretty much every other developed country has somehow stopped this from happening.

SAM BEE: And since we can't always stop this from happening, why ever try to stop it from happening?  So... we're good?  OK!  Let's get back to the news.

(Pharrell's "Happy" plays as they dance to news clips)

Isn't that easier?  Problem solved!  (massive audience cheering and applause)  We'll be right back.

Jon also led off with coverage of what's happening in Egypt.

Sam Bee then looked at the anti-vaxxer movement.

Meanwhile, Stephen covered the right-wing reaction to Bowe Bergdahl getting released in exchange for 5 al-Qaeda prisoners, before covering the story of the Florida man who is using his front yard as a shooting range, which has his neighbors scared shitless.


He then talked about how he grew a beard to debate his guest, Thomas Piketty.

Jon talked with Robert De Niro about his father.

Originally posted to Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group on Tue Jun 03, 2014 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Shut Down the NRA and Daily Kos.

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Comment Preferences

  •  "who is using his front yard as a shooting range" (11+ / 0-)

    Why would his neighbors be scared? Unless they're candy-ass, pantywaist libs, of course, who really, really, REALLY wanted a group hug with Osama, followed by a chorus or 5 of "Kumbaya." What the Florida patriot is trying to do is show everyone what a responsible gun owner looks and acts like!

    /redstate

  •  America - the Firing Range! (19+ / 0-)

    You shoot my kids, I'll shoot your kids.   Oh, well, at least they weren't aborted!  Praise the Lord.  Let's all go to the Funerals and remember, be sure to make your donations to the NRA who made all this possible.

    ~snark~

    If it wasn't true, it would be almost funny!

    Voters should select people to represent them in their government. People in government should not select people who may vote!

    by NM Ray on Tue Jun 03, 2014 at 06:01:15 AM PDT

  •  "Isn't it easier?" (13+ / 0-)

    Jon is so close to the truth that I found myself becoming increasingly uncomfortable as the bit pushed toward its close. And then he said, "Isn't it easier?"

    That is a call to action. Jon put it my face. Don't accept the indifference to mass killings. Do something.

    Now I have to think. I then have to do. In the event I can't come up with meaningful ways to cause change y'all please make suggestions. I'll do something.

    Roman Catholic by birth---thoroughly confused by life.

    by alasmoses on Tue Jun 03, 2014 at 06:03:08 AM PDT

    •  This is pretty much my take. I'd like to do som... (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      alasmoses, NewtC, silverfoxcruiser

      This is pretty much my take. I'd like to do something, but I'm uncertain as to what.

      I'm familiar with a variety of weapons, and I've done concealed carry. I love guns. So I get the allure, the feeling of power. But I don't own one and won't. (Not with my history of depression.)

      I see many legitimate efforts, backed by rational arguments and bolstered by copious verifiable statistics. I see passionate outpourings by grieving family members -- and even compete strangers.

      None of it seems to have ANY EFFECT.

      So what is my voice going to do?

      I, too, would appreciate constructive suggestions.

      •  The constructive part is difficult (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        silverfoxcruiser

        so long as this discussion remains an emotional one (which is exactly what it is across the entire spectrum, everybody reacts emotionally to this issue).

        Some filled with cynicism because of their frustration, some filled with defensiveness because the optics are so compelling, some with anger and outrage because it is an outrageous thing, some with a kind of sad, resignation because of the way that the public discussion has been so corrupted by interested parties with PR machines.

        But making it an emotional discussion works to prevent change, so those that are driving the dialogue are successful.

        Welcome to Daily Kos. If you have any questions about how to participate here, you can learn more at the Community Guidelines, the Knowledge Base, and the Site Resource Diaries. Diaries labeled "Open Thread" are also great places to ask. We look forward to your contributions.
        ~~ from the DK Partners & Mentors Team.

        Words can sometimes, in moments of grace, attain the quality of deeds. --Elie Wiesel

        by a gilas girl on Tue Jun 03, 2014 at 11:34:16 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  go after the money (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        alasmoses, silverfoxcruiser, miriam

        The NRA is so powerful because it's got a lot of money, meaning it's got a lot of speech. We either have to drain their coffers, or untie the whole 2A sacredness from their business. Because the reason they're pushing so hard to make guns not only popular, but necessary, is because they SELL the damn things. They've worked hard to make people viscerally attached to guns. It's not "a gun" like a hammer is a tool. It's a beating, bleeding SYMBOL of freedom, Gawd, mom, and apple fucking pie. They've worked very hard to make you afraid of everything--the gubmint, brown people, people who talk funnier'n you, people who don't love guns as much as you (because they're trying to take away your FREEDOMS). And they've worked very hard to make you doubt yourself as a thinking, reasoning individual.

        And once you sell the fear, the guns will sell themselves.

        What the fashion industry has done to women's body image, the NRA has done to men's masculinity. "You ain't a man," they say. "But a gun'll make you one."

        Then anyone who makes even a suggestion that maybe some regulations might be nice goes straight past the logic part of your brain and you don't hear, "Let's cut off the guns from the crazies." You hear, "Let's cut off your manhood."

        How does the Republican Congress sit down with all the butthurt over taxing the wealthy?

        by athenap on Tue Jun 03, 2014 at 01:13:26 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  Don't follow the usual liberal party line: (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        silverfoxcruiser, Necrothus

        1. Don't demand rifles that "look" like assault weapons be banned. Cosmetic changes don't make them less deadly.

        2. Don't demand limits on bullet purchases. Ammo companies will make even more money as prices go up.

        3. Don't demand that people "give up their guns." That's a non starter. We have a right to protect ourselves, both from other people and from the awesome power of the government.

        The issue is that the guns get into the wrong hands.

        1. Think of ways to prevent unstable people from getting their hands on weapons. Eg: Police investigations and court restrictions similar to restraining orders. Other people usually know when their friends, children, parents or boyfriends are going over to the dark side, so to speak.

        2. Educate and expose. Embarass the idiots who make a show of carrying guns.

        3. Avoid the usual liberal pitfalls that put us at odds with people who otherwise would be on our side.

        4. Most gun owners don't want their kids shot by lunatic strangers. Find common ground instead of treating them like illiterate backwoods imbeciles. Everyone wants an end to the violence. We just have different ideas on what to do about it.

        •  READ the Constitution -- (0+ / 0-)
          We have a right to protect ourselves . . . from the awesome power of the government.
          US Con., Art. I., S. 8., C. 15.  The Congress shall have Power To provide for calling forth the Militia to . . . SUPPRESS INSURRECTIONS.

          And any "right" of "self-defense" is regulated, limited by law, because those against whom one would purport to "defend" oneself has the exact same rights as you, including not being subjected to the crime of Assault with a Deadly Weapon.

          This is the country of those three great rights: freedom of conscience, freedom of speech, and the wisdom never to exercise either of them. -- Mark Twain.

          by JJustin on Wed Jun 04, 2014 at 05:59:38 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  I think you're confusing (0+ / 0-)

            law abiding citizens having weapons with violent criminals having access to guns.

            "...because those against whom one would purport to "defend" oneself has the exact same rights as you, including not being subjected to the crime of Assault with a Deadly Weapon."
            If I have a weapon to defend myself, the people who would assault me are not being subjected to an assault by me.
            •  No: I'm refusing to confuse right-wing NRA lies (0+ / 0-)

              against Constitution and laws, falsely promoting an absolute limitless "right," and actual law:

              If I have a weapon to defend myself, the people who would assault me are not being subjected to an assault by me.

              That is a judgment call -- correct?

              But tell us: what is the law of "self-defense" in your jurisdiction?  I would be surprised if it didn't include stipulation of proportionality.

              In other words: it isn't a clear-cut black-and-white as you present it.

              You do know, don't you, that being a "responsible" gun owner includes actually knowing the laws, including the limits and the responsibilities they impose?

              This is the country of those three great rights: freedom of conscience, freedom of speech, and the wisdom never to exercise either of them. -- Mark Twain.

              by JJustin on Thu Jun 05, 2014 at 05:27:20 AM PDT

              [ Parent ]

    •  Begin with these basic facts: (0+ / 0-)

      1.  The Bill of Rights -- Second Amendment -- was written by the first Congress.

      2.  AFTER the Bill of Rights -- Second Amendment -- was ratified, the Congress enacted a series of Militia Acts regulating the subject of the Second Amendment:

      Well regulated militia.

      3.  Those facts mean that the Second Amendment is not a bar to regulation.  That is, it does not protect FROM regulation whatever is said to be "protected" by the Amendment.

      At minimum spread those facts.

      Search on my user name and you'll find substantiation of those facts.

      This is the country of those three great rights: freedom of conscience, freedom of speech, and the wisdom never to exercise either of them. -- Mark Twain.

      by JJustin on Wed Jun 04, 2014 at 05:54:06 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  I too have conceded to American Exceptionalism, (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    maggiejean, silverfoxcruiser

    higher power and fire power.  
    As for the mass shootings, the media should just post the reporting like the stock market page and let those who are interested check them out every day.  It's such a bother. I'll care about it in due course when I hear shots ring out nextdoor (again) or in the checkout line where I shop or maybe even in the public library which is just asking for it because it's just so damned quiet there which can really get on your nerves.  And, finally, I will always make sure to be in the company of a good guy with a gun and take the risk that he could go bad at any time or that a good toddler might reach up for the good guy's gun, pull the trigger, and blow off his own foot.
     Hey, every species eventually dies off eventually, right?  So what's the fuss about?  Stewart's got it just right.  Move on.

    Building a better America with activism, cooperation, ingenuity and snacks.

    by judyms9 on Tue Jun 03, 2014 at 06:34:56 AM PDT

  •  Join Mom's Against... Or the Brady (8+ / 0-)

    Campaign.  Talk to your neighbors, post on Facebook, tweet stats, write diaries, talk to your friends, write your representatives, vote in every election, talk to your family, troll the Internet with suggestions that we treat guns like we treat cars- registration, training, testing, licensing, insurance.  Keep repeating the obvious, the NRA is nothing but the marketing arm of the gun industry.  Mock the "man card" ad campaign.  Keep asking how insecure you have to be to need an assault rifle slung over your shoulder before you order a burger or a latte.  Donate to every Democrat who supported gun registration.  Post pictures of Ted Nugent, Wayne LaPierre, Daddy Duck.  They're scary Wierd and that has a long-term impact on the psyche.  

    I'm not looking for a love that will lift me up and carry me away. A love that will stroll alongside and make a few amusing comments will suffice.

    by I love OCD on Tue Jun 03, 2014 at 06:54:55 AM PDT

    •  I can remember (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      burana, I love OCD, Janet 707

      when the NRA was about general gun safety, hunting safety and training kids how to safely operate a gun. But I'm middle aged and my memory isn't what it used to be...

      "Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news. Which follows its own special rules." ~ Douglas Adams

      by coyote66 on Tue Jun 03, 2014 at 08:05:18 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  act locally (0+ / 0-)

      There are probably enough comments here but this idea seems to me the closest likely action that would concentrate enough pressure. It seems to me that making the gunshops the responsible parties would get some motion. Thought items:

      - as has been recognized (finally) with the community rights movement and other movements, we will NEVER get anything timely & effectively accomplished through the federal level. It has to be local, and upwards from there. For anything. All the effective action to preserve people's rights / environments / etc has been local action.

      - telling a gunshop owner that THEY will be responsible for any psycho who commits a slaughter with a gun bought from their shop would put them heavily on the spot to get real interested in screening their customers, which pressure would travel up the chain to the gun co's, who would be very concerned about their sales outlet/s that are unhappy (hopefully dozens of them). They would then have to get involved (in hopefully hundreds of lawsuits and ballot initiatives) in protecting their dealer outlets now under siege from fed-up locals (those damn moms).

      Ho-hum acknowledgements:
      - YES, it may not be "fair" but we are beyond what is fair on this issue. Only a society that is completely incompetent/helpless/chickens**t would let themselves continue to be vulnerable to this kind of climate without looking relentlessly for the path of least resistance/easiest success.

      - YES, the psychos may not always do mass shootings with a registered, traceable gun, but there is a goodly chance any gun used can be traced back to SOME seller, esp if the psycho commits suicide or gets shot in the process (most do) and leaves the gun there to trace.

      I had a long unemotional discussion with an NRA rep on the phone one night and pointed this out to him, that they are always beating the drum to allow everyone guns, but don't want to take any responsibility for measuring the sanity/stability of the buyers. Which should be dirt easy these days as every friggin person with a philosophy seems to want to put it on the internet (witness Santa Barbara guy, and others).

      Give it a try. What do we have to lose? They are all going to scream anyway, so let them scream away as you (maybe) make some progress in your own back yard. We could even get real ambitious and start doing some real examination of why this society is generating so many psychos, but that's another bedtime story. Think globally, act locally.

    •  Finally some common sense. (0+ / 0-)

      Finally some common sense.

  •  What about sex, drugs, alcohol, abortions, gays... (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    cipher14, Mopshell, snwflk, Janet 707

    …and murders, speeding, drunk driving, pedophiles, etc.?

    Since these will ALWAYS be there and exist, should we then remove and forever ban all legislations restricting each and everyone of these, per conservative rationale?

    •  The self-styled "conservatives" would call it, (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      freeportguy1, Mopshell

      "liberal/progressive/un-American/socialist", et.al, to even suggest that REGULATIONS - THEIR REGULATONS, as given by THEIR NOTION(S)of "god" - concerning any, or all, the behavior examples you have given, should even be questioned, much less eliminated from "restricting" everyone else.

      Indeed, many of the Teabaghead/Republican Party are running today on the basic platform of EVER INCREASING REGULATION, - such as a Federal Statute, or even Amendment to the Constitution - to make ANY AND ALL ABORTIONS felonies; in places even including a death penalty for both the Doctor and the woman having the medical procedure.  Just come out hyar to Injun' Fightin' Country - good old Cowlorado - and listen to the guy running for Senator on the Teabaghead/Republican ticket.

      But then again, no one has ever been able to accuse the bulk of self-styled "conservatives" of showing even a small degree of common sense, much less congruity of though, action, or anything else.

  •  Where are the entrepreneurs??? (0+ / 0-)

    Time for some media tycoon to take a great leap of faith in the American consumer and create a whole new media empire........Call it MSC, The Mass Shooting Channel.  They can be the one stop shop for all things related to mass shootings.  They could hire all the experts in psychology, firearms, ammunition and mental health.  They could have candlelight vigil organizers and clergy on-staff and on-call to rush to the studio every time there is another "accident".  They could directly employ someone from the NRA who can appear on camera every hour and tell us all, with great conviction and certainty, the litany of reasons why the latest shooting means that we still don't quite have enough guns in all the different places necessary to avoid another such tragedy.  This way we wouldn't have all the other national media slugging it out to co-opt the best eyewitnesses, experts, video, audio and blood soaked pictures from the scene.  They could have an expertly designed "grief set" where families of the victims could come on camera and pour their hearts out to sympathetic interviewers, who will ask them questions like, "How did you feel when you heard the news?" and "Tell us a little about {insert name of dead person here}."

    Why, something like this would make it so much more efficient.  Because it won't be long until we will be experiencing so much overlap from one shooting to the next, that our current media structure will just not be able to wrap up one story before another one comes down the pike.  Multi-tasking of shootings is just not in the general media's skill set.  We need a covey of top flight experts available to sate the American consumers appetite for the continuous stream of carnage.

    Yep, somewhere right now, an intrepid entrepreneur is probably brainstorming with colleagues and furiously white-boarding a business plan for a uniquely American product.  Watch your local schedule.  Coming soon to a cable or satellite network in your area. MSC, The Mass Shooting Channel.  

  •  Great piece on anti-vaccine idiocy too. (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Mopshell, defluxion10, athenap, Janet 707

    Global-warming denialists rile me up and get me motivated to do something about it.

    Anti-vax nuts (e.g. my sister) just make me sad and ashamed.

  •  Jon Stewart, the voice of reason. (0+ / 0-)

    And I mean that. I don't know how I'd get through this stuff without him.

    "Life and death, dispensed on a dollar basis. How ridiculous and fatally stupid, in what is still the richest country on earth?" Exmearden

    by burana on Tue Jun 03, 2014 at 09:42:27 AM PDT

  •  Oh noez! The anti-vaxers here will start crying! (0+ / 0-)

    When the Daily Show is making fun of your bullshit science, you sure as fuck aren't welcome here. You're just as bad, if not worse, than climate denialists. There are real consequences to not vaccinating your children, and I hold you fully responsible for those.

  •  The Hamster Wheel presents: NRA Shooting (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Incredulousinusa, Tailspinterry

    The Hamster Wheel is an Australian show by comedy team The Chaser. They decided to do a news-item style skit about the NRA. This is what Australians think of the NRA and American gun laws:
    The Hamster Wheel - NRA Shooting

  •  WHY (0+ / 0-)

    WHY

    WHY

    SO MUCH AUTOPLAY

    STOP IT

    It's a huge pain in the ass to scroll down and hit "pause" on ten different videos! Stop it!

  •  Alternatively (0+ / 0-)

    Since there were 3 stabbings and 3 shootings couldn't this be headlined as mass stabbings? We on the left could then campaign for knife control. Of course this wouldn't encompass hunting knives just assault knives or Swiss Army knives with 7 or more blades. This brings up a question that has not been addressed by my fellow liberals in that if the penalty for the illegal use of a firearm can be death what penalty would be sufficient to dissuade someone from possessing a firearm to be used for that purpose? How Medieval must we go to enforce a ban on firearms?

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