Attention! Exclusive Offer!
I’m announcing the launch of a brand new product that no gun-loving ‘merkin should be without. Be the first in your armed compound to own the Magnum Heater-Vibrator. Hook it up to your favorite rifled bore and enjoy your gun like never before. Let your Peacemaker give you a little "piece of action" of a different kind even when the Big Bad World won’t. No longer will you have to endure those long, lonely nights pulling guard duty on the lookout for those government agents. Night after night, just you and that foxy Glock in the foxhole. You’ll go around singing: “If you knew Uzi, like I know Uzi”. Just $19.99 (Plus shipping; batteries not included) no tax (we don’t believe in stinking taxes!).
And now for an incredibly low $9.99 extra (no stinking taxes!) get the special attachment for concealed carry and watch how many more people will be challenging you with “What are you smiling at?” Make sure that heat you’re packing is Hot! Hot! Hot! Why not enjoy a little concealed carrying-on with that concealed carry.
And all you Gal Patriots! No need to feel left out of the action! We also have an action tip for your pleasure, too. While your other half is enjoying his ”Nugent Nookie”, you can be rockin’ and rollin’ with your own ”Sarah Pal” attachment. And for you adventure-loving Guys who occasionally have thoughts of exploring the other byways: You, too, can enjoy your own Sarah Pal and get both for the additional amount of $4.99 (and as always: NO STINKING TAXES!).
Packing and Shipping extra. We only ship by Confederal Express. Please provide Lat-Lon; we don’t recognize socialist zip codes. Shipping will be computed by mile from the Alamo, the Sovereign Republic of Texas. Payment accepted by gold coin only. But: NO STINKING TAXES.