Skip to main content

Last night, Stephen Colbert looked at how Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) has now formally renounced his Canadian citizenship.

But come on, Senator, no piece of paper can wipe the Canada off you. I visited Toronto once 20 years ago, and every now and then, I still say "I'm sorry."

No, to become 100% American, Ted Cruz needs to do something radically un-Canadian. He needs to punch a moose, or pay for his own healthcare.

Video and full transcript below the fold.


It's no secret that I have always felt a deep connection with Texas Senator and Joe McCarthy tribute head Ted Cruz.

But there's one thing about Senator Cruz that bothers me.  It's his name — Rafael Edward Cruz.  It sounds kind of, you know, Canadian.  And it turns out I have excellent Canadar.

6/11/2014:

MICHAELA PEREIRA: Senator Ted Cruz has renounced his Canadian citizenship.  The Texas Republican was born north of the border, only to discover that he actually held dual citizenship last year.

HEATHER CHILDERS: Ted Cruz, now officially all-American, shedding his Canadian citizenship.

So, Tip of the Hat to Senator Cruz for his great show of patriotism.  If you ask me, there's nothing more American than not being from another country.  (audience laughter)  Which is why it is also so hard for me to give Ted Cruz a Wag of My Finger.  Because the way Ted Cruz went about becoming a not-Canadian was so... Canadian.  His Canadectomy was performed with a simple certificate of renunciation issued by the government.

A certificate just saying he's not Canadian.  Hell, I got those!  The printer in my office churns 'em out 24/7.  I even got a 2-ply version in the bathroom.

But come on, Senator, no piece of paper can wipe the Canada off you.  I visited Toronto once 20 years ago, and every now and then, I still say "I'm sorry."

No, to become 100% American, Ted Cruz needs to do something radically un-Canadian.  He needs to punch a moose, or pay for his own healthcare.  (audience laughter and applause)

And I can help, I can help.  I'm here to help, because I am a trained Ludovico therapist.  And I have administered Canadian deprogramming before.  Jim?

(scenes of Canadian Mounties and Barenaked Ladies flash on movie screen to "A Clockwork Orange")

Now thanks to the conditioning, every time he hears Celine Dion, he becomes nauseous — like a true American.

Stephen also had an update about his battle with Amazon.

He then had a Sport Report segment where he had on the German ambassador to the UN, Hans Beinholtz, to talk about our chances in the World Cup.

Meanwhile, Jon covered the latest hellhole that is Iraq with Jason Jones.


Jason Jones also filed a piece about those who wear Google Glass.

Stephen interviewed former Senator James Webb (D-VA), and Jon talked with actor Christopher Walken.

Originally posted to Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group on Fri Jun 13, 2014 at 05:20 AM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site