From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Lessons in Conservatism
What I've learned from the other side so far this month:
Gays will soon round up all the Christians and ship them off in boxcars to reeducation camps. (Tony Perkins)
If your child gets shot by a bad guy (or gal) with a gun, it's your fault, mom and dad, for not caring enough to properly bulletproof your child. (NRA)
I also learned that Reince Priebus is inside
this squirrel costume cursing the day he
lost a bet with the Koch brothers.
President Obama hasn't correctly prevented America from getting attacked on his watch, so therefore the fact that we haven't gotten attacked on his watch doesn't count. (Mitt Romney)
Rape victims think they're soooo much better than the rest of us. (George Will)
Being gay and being an alcoholic are the same thing. (Rick Perry)
"The left does not believe in diversity." (Eric Cantor vanquisher Dave Brat)
Even if you admit you're not a scientist, you can still determine the extent and causes of climate change---if it's happening at all---better than scientists. (John Boehner)
It's perfectly fine to stone gay people, but only as long as it doesn't conflict with your libertarian values. (Oklahoma state house candidate Scott Esk)
Pulling our troops out of Iraq was an excellent thing. (John McCain).
And this from
Rick Santorum:
"I understand why campaigns and all of you want to go out and just bang the president. It's fun! I mean, it's FUN!"
I can't
wait to find out what I'll learn during the rest of the month!
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Note: What does a president need most to deal with evildoers? Sharp elbows. What did Hillary break in 2009? Her elbow. Does this disqualify her for the presidency…and was scar tissue responsible for her judgment during the Benghazi attacks? Sean Hannity cases the joint tonight on Fox News!
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4 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til summer:
4
Days 'til the
Alexandria's Food and Wine Festival in Virginia:
4
U.S. budget deficit for the first 8 months of the fiscal year, down 30% from this time in 2013:
$436 billion
The last year the imbalance was that low:
2008
(Source: Treasury Dept.)
Firearms confiscated at airports in 2011:
1,300
Firearms confiscated in 2013:
1,800
(Source: TSA)
Percent of teens drinking soda every day in 2007 and 2013:
34%, 27%
(Source: CDC)
World Cup Soccer
USA 2 Ghana 1
Germany 4 Portugal 0
Iran 0 Nigeria 0
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Democrats---Selling out the US and the US soldier since Korea.
ISIL is nothing more than the result of illicit arms sales in Syria through Turkey by Mullah Obama of the White Mosque regime. It has everything to do Ambassador Stevens death at Benghazi. Wakey, wakey America. An Islamo-Facist is in charge of our country and he will stop at nothing to overthrow of the current Iraqi government and install the deviant Muslims.
---Commenter Arrows at RedState
All together now: 1…2…3…
Classy!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Beached corgi.
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CHEERS to the proverbial one step forward. For years now activists have been telling the White House that if Congress won't pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) to protect LGBT Americans in the workplace, President Obama should at least sign an executive order that protects employees who work for companies that receive federal dollars. Yesterday word came down that Obama plans to sign just such an order. This is my favorite part:
Notably, the proposed executive order will require Exxon Mobil Corporation, a top federal contractor that draws hundreds of millions annually in federal contracts, to provide non-discrimination protections to its LGBT employees and prospective hires. Yet ExxonMobil has consistently resisted these kinds of protections. Earlier this month, ExxonMobil’s shareholders voted for the 17th time to reject a policy that would prohibit discrimination against LGBT workers.
“This order will bring much-needed relief to ExxonMobil’s LGBT employees,” [Human Rights Campaign president Chad] Griffin said, “Year after year, ExxonMobil has held the lowest spot in HRC’s Corporate Equality Index---the first and only company to receive a negative score.”
The company says it plans to offer free boom to bigoted shareholders to contain their tears
JEERS to armchair quarterback hawks. Republican draft-dodger Mitt Romney said on a Sunday morning show that neither President Obama nor Hillary Clinton have protected America. When it was pointed out that, unlike the previous administration, America hasn't been attacked on Obama's watch, Romney said, "Yes, but the way it hasn't been attacked is totally irresponsible and it's Obama and Clinton's fault that we haven't been attacked in the way we otherwise wouldn't have been attacked." Responded Democrats: "Run Mitt, run."
CHEERS to the beginning of the end. 42 years ago today, five burglars were arrested inside DNC headquarters at the Watergate complex:
Bugging the petty cash
drawer, guys? That's low.
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They possessed burglary tools, cameras, film and pen-size tear gas guns. In rooms the men had rented at a motel across Virginia Avenue from the burglary scene, police found electronic bugging equipment.
Three of those arrested were Cuban exiles and one was a Cuban-American. Their leader was James McCord, a former CIA agent and a security coordinator for President Richard Nixon’s Committee for the Reelection of the President. Prosecutors also charged E. Howard Hunt Jr., a former White House aide, and G. Gordon Liddy, a CREEP finance counsel, as accomplices.
It was the start of a chain of events that led to Nixon's resignation, punctuated by the now-shocking notion that prominent members of Nixon's own party would help drag the scandal into the sunlight instead of burying it in the backyard under a smokescreen of spin and faux-outrage at Democrats. When the crisis had passed, Republicans paused a moment to reflect on the fact that they'd done something right and honorable...and vowed to never do it again because it felt icky.
Plagiarize in school and you get
an F. Plagiarize for your GOP
overlords and you get $500k.
JEERS to the sweet, sweet life of the Republican swindler. Long story short: Maine Tea Party governor Paul LePage wanted to step on the necks of the poor and unemployed some more, so he awarded a $1 million no-bid contract to a conservative outfit called "The Alexander Group" for a "report" with a pre-ordained conclusion that the only way to avoid fiscal Armageddon is to chop-chop-chop welfare benefits. The report was produced, the pre-ordained conclusion ("Chop welfare benefits some more!") was neatly pronounced, and the governor was happy right up until the Alexander Group got caught making a huge math error and plagiarizing major sections of their report. So now the governor, to save face, has
canceled the contract. And here's the kicker: the Alexander Group, for all its shoddy research and plagiarism, gets to keep half the money. On the bright side, every Mainer will get a free "My tax dollars funded a bullsh*t GOP study and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" tee shirt.
CHEERS to William's Words of Wisdom on Warfare. Today's lesson comes from the Battle of Bunker Hill, which was fought 239 years ago today: Bright red uniforms = Bad idea. Join us tomorrow when we'll solve the Itchy & Scratchy butcher knife vs. wood chipper debate.
JEERS to one more painful reminder of the Gipper's legacy. Twenty-eight years ago today, on June 17, 1986, President Reagan announced the retirement of Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger. His brilliant replacement, who never met a square conservative argument he couldn't stuff into a round constitutionally-dubious hole:
To mark the occasion, today corporations will take turns buying him anything he wants.
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Five years ago in C&J: June 17, 2009
JEERS to the dumbest poll question of the week: CNN.com yesterday asked, with NO context of any kind, mind you: Would you trust a Web site to help you make decisions? A whopping 73 percent voted "No" right before they went off to compare car prices, self-diagnose the strange rash that appeared on their hiney, check the weather, look at colleges, see how the oddsmakers are handicapping the baseball season, previewing tunes, Googling potential vacation destinations, and reading the latest porn reviews...online. I want the time I just wasted writing about your stupid poll back, CNN. (I'll take it in nanoseconds, please.)
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And just one more…
CHEERS to President Quick Draw McSlappy Paw. On June 17, 2009, President Barack Hussein Obama single-handedly stopped an attack on American soil…in fact, he stopped an attack on the very heart of our government. Remember? The culprit was an invader who flew in under the cover of darkness---a grotesque, hairy, devious, foul-mouthed creature intent on sucking life out of the homeland. But Obama was onto the plan, and slapped it down with ruthless speed and efficiency. In fact, it was caught on tape…
The republic endures.
Have a partly sunny Tuesday with a high of 75. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
A new HBO movie, The Case Against Cheers and Jeers, details why the fight against Bill in Portland Maine's kiddie pool was so important to all of America.
---The Guardian
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