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I won't be here next weekend, and it's all your fault.

That's right.  I'll be away next weekend in large part to you - yes, you, don't even try to deny it - friends, fellow travelers, and terminally bored Americans   faithful progressives who've been reading these weekly diaries for the last three-plus years.  It's because of you that I've signed up to do something that I've never had the courage to do before.

I'm giving an author's reading at Pi-Con, an annual celebration of geekery, fandom, and fun in Enfield, Connecticut.

This doesn't sound like much - it probably won't be much since I'm scheduled at 10:00 pm on Friday night so I might get four or five people, tops - but on a personal level, it's huge.  I've given classes and workshops on quilting, delivered papers and participated in academic round tables, even read a piece of fanfiction at a Harry Potter convention a decade ago, but this is the very first time I've given a public reading of my original work.  I'll be reading one of my diaries, specifically one of the many I've written that touch in some way on science fiction, fantasy, or fannish culture in general, as a test case to see if anyone outside DKos is actually interested in these strange little hybrids of memoir and insanity I inflict on the community every Saturday night.

I'm both excited and terrified at this prospect, but it's a step I've been contemplating for a while.  This could lead to big things, oh yes it could, and if it hadn't been for the encouragement, comments, and gleeful egging on that I've received here I never would have had the courage even to try

So.  Thank you, one and all, and I'll definitely let you know what happens.

That said, I need your help once again.  I've written well over a hundred of these diaries - they do add up, don't they? - and narrowing the selection down to one hasn't been easy.  I'm at the point where I simply can't decide, so I've provided you all with links to the finalists, plus a poll where you can vote for your favorite.  This will give me time to polish up the raw copy, as they say, time my reading, and basically get as comfortable as I can before I venture forth to create in the smithy of my soul the voice of my people - see if what I've been writing for the last couple of years makes anyone but a Kossack laugh.

Here are the finalists...but please note, if there's something you've particularly enjoyed, feel free to share in the comments.  God knows I've been wrong before, so it's entirely possible that your choice will be more appealing than mine:

Their Plagiarized Materials:  fanfiction that went way beyond a hobby into outright plagiarism.

The Seduction of the Crossover - comic books as public menace and mindmeld.

Naked Came the Libertine to Atlanta - books that are not only terrible but fake, especially the one produced by a coterie of SF writers to trap a vanity press.

The Silence of the Peeps - fannish shenanigans involving those menacing little yellow pieces of sugar and dye that disrupt Eastertide

Based on the Blockbuster Movie - bad novelizations of good movies, including one that should have been terrific and wasn't.

To Boldly Go Where No Tie-In Has Gone Before - my lifelong obsession with Star Trek, and where it led.

Please vote early and often, and if by some chance you happen to be at Pi-Con, drop by and say hello.  I'll be attending under my real name, Lisa Evans, and would welcome the support.

Needless to say, my fussing over this potential though not particularly likely brush with fame has prevented me from writing a new diary this week.  This is nowhere near as tragic as it sounds since it's the near the end of the quarter anyway, which in turn means a preview of coming attractions through the summer and fall of this year of grace:

June 28 - The Misogynistic Aardvark

July 5 - Today We Are Exploiting the Apocalypse!

July 12 - The Joys of Condensed Literature

July 19 - Orientalism and Identities

July 26 - Horned Helmets and Virile Vikings

August 2 - Raggedy Ann and the Waterbabies

August 9 - The Simple Joys of Summer

August 16 - The Fastest Typewriter in the West

August 23 - Fans Are Slan

August 30 - OPEN WEEK, aka "Ellid is taking a rare weekend off and would appreciate a guest blogger to avoid inflicting 'Captain America 2:  Vibranium Boogaloo' on the unsuspecting world"

September 6 - Horsing Around

September 13 - Mystical Egyptian Errors

Doesn't this sound like jolly fun for one and all?  Doesn't it make your withers quiver?  Your heart go pitter-pat?  Your cardiologist smack his lips and cackle like a madman in anticipation of the large fees he'll earn after reading one - just one - of these diaries sends you straight to the ERA for this season's kicky new stents?

I swear, I should get a medal for my contributions to the American medical system, especially since I no longer have any spare organs of my own to donate to their bottom line.

As enjoyable as all this sounds, please keep in mind that this lineup, praiseworthy as it may be, is subject to change depending upon any or all of the following factors:  

- Kaiju attack upon Easthampton, Massachusetts.

- The Double Felinoid sucking my breath as I sleep in hopes of inheriting my wealth so they can live a life of ease.

- Sudden appearance of the ghosts of America's greatest hoarders, Homer and Langley Collyer, in my backyard.

- RUSHBO attack upon Easthampton, Massachusetts.

- I am suddenly appointed Queen of the May even though it's summer.

- The Last Homely Shack is besieged by sweaty Ellid cosplayers who decide that I am GOD and must be worshipped.

- Sudden appearance of the ghosts of the Smith Brothers, Trade and Mark William and Andrew, in the back seat of my car.

- Marshmallow peep attack upon Easthampton, Massachusetts.

- My confinement to an insane asylum.

- The bookshelf behind my desk falls over on top of me and I suffer the sad fate of whichever Collyer Brother was crushed to death by several decades' worth of old newspapers, half a sewing machine, assorted trash, most of a Model T Ford engine, and half a ton of orange peels that were part of the quack remedy Langley Collyer devised to restore his brother's sight.

- I am summoned to the White House for secret, high-level talks on matters too perilous for public discussion or scrutiny.

- GIANT TURKEY PUPPET O'DOOM attack upon Easthampton, Massachusetts.

- I venture so far into Bad Bookistan that I am never found again.

If any of the above happens, be assured that someone (probably Gil the Wonder Cat) will tell it to Sweeney, who will in turn post a diary to that effect.  Otherwise, we should be good to go!


So, fair and tender ladies, gentlemen of distinction, and good companions all - which of my diaries should I read next Friday?  Should I read a diary next Friday night?  Or should I batten down the hatches in case RUSHBO, a Class .05 Kaiju, the GIANT TURKEY PUPPET O'DOOM, or a marshmallow peep decide that they've had enough and unleash the kraken?  You have a chance to determine my fate, so don't be shy....


Readers & Book Lovers Series Schedule:

DAY TIME (EST/EDT) Series Name Editor(s)
SUN 6:00 PM Young Reader's Pavilion The Book Bear
2:00 PM What's on Your E-Reader? Caedy
2:00 PM Bibliophile's Wish List Caedy
Sun (occasional) 9:30 PM SciFi/Fantasy Book Club quarkstomper
Bi-Monthly Sun Midnight Reading Ramblings don mikulecky
MON 8:00 PM Monday Murder Mystery michelewln, Susan from 29
Mon 11:00 PM My Favorite Books/Authors edrie, MichiganChet
TUES 5:00 PM Indigo Kalliope: Poems from the Left Kit RMP, bigjacbigjacbigjac
alternate Tuesdays 8:00 AM LGBT Literature Texdude50, Dave in Northridge
alternate Tuesdays 8:00 AM All Things Bookstore Dave in Northridge
Tue 8:00 PM Contemporary Fiction Views bookgirl
WED 7:30 AM WAYR? plf515
Wed 2:00 PM e-books Susan from 29
Wed 8:00 PM Bookflurries Bookchat cfk
THU 8:00 PM Write On! SensibleShoes
Thu (first each month) 11:00 AM Monthly Bookpost AdmiralNaismith
alternate Thursdays (on hiatus) 11:00 PM Audiobooks Club SoCaliana
FRI 8:00 AM Books That Changed My Life Diana in NoVa
alternate Fridays 8:00 PM Books Go Boom! Brecht
Fri 10:00 PM Slightly Foxed -- But Still Desirable shortfinals
SAT (fourth each month) 11:00 AM Windy City Bookworm Chitown Kev
Sat 12:00 PM You Can't Read That! Paul's Book Reviews pwoodford
Sat 9:00 PM Books So Bad They're Good Ellid

Originally posted to Ellid on Sat Jun 21, 2014 at 06:03 PM PDT.

Also republished by Readers and Book Lovers.


Which of these diaries should I read aloud at Pi-Con next Friday night?

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