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President Obama's second term has largely been defined by his regime's futile efforts to divert attention from the series of Hurricane Katrina-level scandals engulfing them.

During the past month, el presidente has employed various Jedi mind tricks (and the Chewbacca defense), hoping to deflect criticism over the VA and Benghazi scandals.

In the case of the former, Obama broke with longstanding US military policy and did everything possible to return a POW to America.

In the case of the latter, he captured the person responsible for the 2012 attack on our consulate—a rather laughable attempt to make us forget that he'd either been unwilling or unable to capture the terrorist mastermind.

This also had the added goal of boosting Hillary Clinton's book sales, which I'm fairly certain is an impeachable offense.

Morning lineup:

Meet The Press: Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY); Rep. Michael McCaul (R-TX); Former Undersecretary of Defense Michele Flourney; Roundtable: E.J. Dionne (Washington Post), David Brooks (New York Times), Katty Kay (BBC) and Former Congressional Candidate Erika Harold (R-IL).

Face The Nation: Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL); Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA); Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI); Former Deputy Director of the CIA Mike Morell; Roundtable: Tavis Smiley (PBS), Robin Wright (Wilson Center), David Ignatius (Washington Post) and John Dickerson (CBS News).

This Week: Former Vice President Dick Cheney (R); Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor; Roundtable Greta Van Susteren (Fox News), Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL); Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN) and Terry Moran (ABC News).

Fox News Sunday: House Majority Leader-Elect Kevin McCarthy (R-CA); Tea Party Attorney Cleta Mitchell; Former Democratic House Staffer Julian Epstein; Roundtable: George Will (Washington Post), Judy Woodruff (PBS), Michael Needham (Heritage Action for America) and Juan Williams (Fox News).

State of the Union: Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY); Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA); Watergate Journalists Bob Woodward & Carl Bernstein; Roundtable: Democratic Strategist Donna Brazile, Republican Pollster Kristin Soltis Anderson, Democratic Strategist Penny Lee and S.E. Cupp (CNN).

Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: a report on the persecution of Coptic Christians in Egypt (preview); a report on the proliferation of small commercial drones equipped with cameras over America (preview); and, an interview with blind virtuoso Marcus Roberts, whose playing has inspired a whole generation of jazz musicians (preview).

On Comedy Central...

Jon Stewart took a stroll through the Middle East down memory lane.

The Daily Show

Monday: Host/Comedian Bill Maher

Tuesday: Actress Jennifer Esposito

Wednesday: Actress Keira Knightley

Thursday: Actress/Comedian Melissa McCarthy

And Stephen Colbert looked for a reason to be mad about the Benghazi mastermind being captured.

The Colbert Report

Monday: Author John Green

Tuesday:  Actress Edie Falco

Wednesday: Rep. Eleanor Holmes Norton (D-DC)

Thursday: Actor Paul Rudd


Admitted felon Dinesh D'Souza offered up some deep thoughts on President Obama's feelings about America.

Fox News host Megyn Kelly couldn't help but laugh when conservative author Dinesh D'Souza compared the United States to a child molester on her show Monday night. [...]

"Well, look at it this way. It's not that Obama hates America. It's not that he's trying to take America down," D'Souza explained. "It's almost like this. If I was in a family and I believed my dad was some kind of a serial killer or child molester, I would still love him. He would still be part of my family, but I'd do everything I could to prevent him from doing these evil actions. I would think that would be not only good for the world, but good for my dad. So with Obama, he believes that he's doing the world a favor and America a favor by controlling this rogue elephant that is the United States."

"So America is the child molester in this scenario?" Kelly chuckled. "Just trying to follow, Dinesh. I think we may have jumped off the deep end."

Meanwhile, in other unfortunate analogies...

Man of God Ralph Reed compared gay marriage to slavery, while claiming he wasn't.

The founder of the Faith and Freedom Coalition — whose annual conference has become a rite of passage for likely Republican presidential contenders — compared the conservative opposition to same-sex marriage to slavery on Friday. [...]

In a speech during a breakout session at the group's "Road to Majority" conference in Washington, D.C., Ralph Reed explained that the Supreme Court's ruling in Dred Scott, which resolved that slaves were the property of their owners even if they traveled to free states, was instructive for advocates fighting against marriage equality.

"The battle looked like it was lost, but it really wasn't," Reed said. "And that's kind of like where we are right now. Anybody heard lately that we're losing the marriage issue? Anybody heard that argument? You notice some similarities? I'm not comparing slavery to same-sex marriage, OK? I'm just pointing out that when you have these fights, what's interesting is that if you look at same-sex marriage, it's now legal in 17 states."

And, in related news...

Mike Huckabee urged millions of faithful rally-goers to defy sacrilegious court rulings. Or something.

"Nothing threatens your personal liberty more than the notion that you would bow your knee to the court system apart from the ultimate rule of the Constitution," he opined. "And all of the branches of government, all of which are not there to tell you what you cannot do, but to guarantee the freedoms that you are always empowered to have."

"We are under an obligation to obey God and the law, and if necessary, to defy an institution that is out of control," the former Arkansas governor continued.

The derp is strong with this one.

- Trix

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