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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

Intermission

Holy Crosstabs, Batman, 2014 is halfway over! The second quarter ends today, and that means it's C&J number-crunching time. Every few months we post results of some recent C&J polls to give you a snapshot of what Kossacks (and our small but persistent band of right-wing trolls) think about this and that, while also revisiting some of the high/lowlights from the past 90-odd (or, if you prefer, 90 odd) days. The total number of votes each poll received is in parentheses:

96 percent support Sen. Bernie Sanders' anti-backlog VA bill that calls for hiring more medical personnel, allowing some veterans to be treated outside VA facilities, and making it easier to fire poor-performing VA executives. (3,216)

95 percent disagree with Mitch McConnell that the push by Democrats to achieve equal pay for women is a "bizarre obsession." (2,498)

All results are certified by C&J's
chief pollster Simba Abercrombie III.
Of the six finalists for the 2016 Democratic National Convention, 21 percent of you chose Philadelphia, 20 percent chose Cleveland and 19 percent chose New York City. (3,564)

Your favorite parts of the House Progressive Caucus budget are: lifting the payroll cap on Social Security (26 percent), diverting oil company subsidies to green-energy trailblazers (15 percent), adding a public option to the Affordable Care Act and raising taxes on the rich (13 percent each). (3,276)

67 percent favored (and 18 percent leaned in favor of) the decision to exchange Taliban-held American prisoner Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl in exchange for the release of five Taliban-affiliated prisoners from Gitmo. (4,010)

97 percent agree with Harry Reid's assertion that the phony "militia" members who swarmed the Bundy ranch and pointed assault rifles at federal law enforcement officials are "domestic terrorists," while one percent agree with Nevada Senator Dean Heller's assertion that they're "patriots." (4,996)

President Obama's nomination of San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro to be the next HUD secretary was greeted favorably by 75 percent of you. (2,564)

82 percent would fire Director of National Intelligence James Clapper for lying and incompetence. (2,662)

99 percent disagree with Sarah Palin that water torture is what America does to "baptize terrorists." (3,657)

As always, thanks for participating in our C&J polls. Remember: always use your super-human brain power responsibly. For good, not evil. Except, of course, on National Use Your Super-Human Brain Power For Evil Day.

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Monday, June 30, 2014

Note: This blog needs more bunting.
Bunting with Shutterstock imprinted
Better. God Bless America...and God Bless Shutterstock image 17360284!

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Moxie Festival logo
11 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til marijuana sales begin in Washington state: 8
Days 'til the Moxie Festival in Lisbon, ME: 11
June consumer sentiment index score, up .6 from May: 82.5
(Source: University of Michigan)
Expected number of travelers this 4th of July weekend, up 700k from last year: 41 million
(Source: AAA)
Number of GM recalls so far this year, affecting 20 million vehicles: 44
Amount they've allocated so far to deal with those recalls: $2 billion
(Source: The Portland Press Herald)

World Cup Soccuh
Netherlands 2 Mexico 1  
Costa Rica 1(5)  Greece 1(3)

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NEW!  Your Monday Michigan Moment

Brought to you by the 2014 Netroots Nation Convention in Detroit, July 17-20.  Having lived in Saginaw for a fair stretch, I can attest that some of these "You Might Be A Michigander Ifs…" are true:

Funny graphic: The World According to Michigan
• If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week...
• If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town...
• If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your bike...
• If November 15 is a paid holiday from work...
• If you know how to play Euchre...
• If you know that there are two ways to spell Mackinaw/Mackinac...and know when to use them...
• If you go "Up North" for every possible holiday...
And one of my own: If you know you get to keep any sugar beets that fall off the truck and go through your windshield in the fall...  Good times.

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  9/11 dogs long after their work was done

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CHEERS to the new old sheriff in town.  Millions upon millions of joyful, equality-minded people attended yesterday's LGBT Pride Parades in New York City, San Francisco, Minneapolis, Chicago, Seattle and Houston (among many others).  While there was much to celebrate in those cities, the cheers seemed just as loud a couple days earlier in the tiny town of Latta, South Carolina, where openly-lesbian Crystal Moore was officially reinstated by the city council as the chief of police:

Crystal Moore is reinstated as police chief of Latta, SC on Friday, June 27, 2014. She had been fired for being a lesbian by the mayor.
The swearing-in officially undoes the nastiness inflicted by openly-bigoted mayor Earl Bullard, who fired Moore a couple months back for operating under the influence of a hippocampus not wired to his liking, but then found himself on the receiving end of virtually the entire town's wrath.  So all's well that ends well…and, hey, good luck with your re-election, Earl.

Supreme Court Associate Justice Samuel Alito
"I'm ready for my evil
closeup, Mr. DeMille."
JEERS to rubes in robes.  I prepared myself for today's final Supreme Court decisions of the year by asking random people on the street to punch me in the stomach.  If the near-unanimous predictions pan out, corporations will be able to force policies on their employees because of what they believe an invisible man in the sky thinks…and Sam Alito will have to fight back a conservagasm as he sucks on a tank of nitrous oxide while delivering his ruling effectively killing public- sector unions, punctuated by random shouts of "Mommy!!!"  As usual the best place to get your legal frying pan to the face is SCOTUSblog, which will liveblog the atrocities.  I don’t expect to feel very cheery shortly after 9:30, but I will keep in mind Friday's words from Ruth Bader Ginsburg: "Don’t take no for an answer. If it didn’t work today, tomorrow is another day.”  Step One: start making catapults out of popsicle sticks bought anywhere but Hobby Lobby.

CHEERS to fun with math.  Einstein's theory of relativity was presented 109 years ago today.  His words:

His theory is praised for its simplicity.
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.  Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.  That's relativity."
Obviously he never spent an hour with Michele Bachmann.  That'd be relatively interminable.

JEERS to unstable tyrants and their unstable toys.  North Korea fired a couple medium-range rockets over the Sea of Japan yesterday.  They fell harmlessly into the water and sank to the bottom.  "Ah---this will be very useful to us in our quest for world domination," said evil squids.

CHEERS to he who is laughing last.  On June 30, 1520, Montezuma II was murdered as Spanish conquistadors fled the Aztec capital of Tenochtitlan.  Today he gets his "revenge" by inflicting a certain embarrassing malady on tourists who visit Mexico and drink the water.  Now pay attention, class:

'When you're slidin' into first and you feel something burst---Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you're slidin' into third and you lay a juicy turd---Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you're slidin' into home and your shorts are filled with foam---Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you're sitting in your Chevy and your pants are wet and heavy---Diarrhea! Diarrhea!"
History, sports, biology and industrial engineering.  At C&J, school's always in session.

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Five years ago in C&J: June 30, 2009

CHEERS to justice served.  Yesterday Bernie Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in the slammer (it damn well better not be one of those country club-style minimum-security setups).  That means he'll be behind bars until he's 221.  When he gets out I bet he's gonna make a beeline for a tanning booth and a steakhouse.

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And just one more…

CHEERS to the do-gooders among us.  Every Friday our C&J poll asks, "Who won the week?"  Granted, the available options I give you to choose from are just one persons opinion (Elvis's).  But we do try to round up a dozen or so representative samples every week of the people and events that make us feel a little mushy-gushy.  Thanks to your smarts and good sense, the Class of the Second Quarter of 2014 is a good-lookin' bunch.  The envelopes, please…

April 4 The Democratic party, led by President Obama, as ACA signups (7.1 mil) beat the most optimistic projections.
April 11 Attorney General Eric Holder for his shot to Rep. Louie Gohmert: "Good luck with your asparagus."
April 18 Kathleen Sebelius. Final ACA sign-up tally as she leaves HHS: 8 million.
April 25 Justice Sonia Sotomayor, for rebuking Chief Justice John Roberts and modern conservative judicial philosophy in her dissent over the Michigan affirmative action case.

Garden Weasel
For tilling the soil of freedom, each
winner gets a Garden Weasel.
May 2 U.S. District Judge Lynn Adelman, who invalidated Wisconsin's "voter ID" law, calling it a GOP scam to suppress voter turnout.
May 9 President Obama: releases climate-change wake-up call; report confirms ACA saving lives; sends help to Nigeria; slays 'em at WH Correspondents Dinner.
May16 Tara, the California cat that went all kung-fu panda on a dog that was attacking her owner's 4-year-old son.
May 23 Judge Michael McShane, for ruling in favor of marriage rights for gay couples in Oregon, and Judge John Jones III for doing it in Pennsylvania.
May 30 The Lexington Herald-Leader editorial board, for mocking Mitch McConnell over his claim that Kentucky's successful exchange, Kynect, has nothing to do with Obamacare.

June 6 President Obama: announces EPA initiative to cut CO2 emissions; brings home US prisoner from Afghanistan; decent jobs report; Europe trip with stirring D-Day tribute.
June 13 Neil deGrasse Tyson and the wizards behind the successful reboot of 'Cosmos.'
June 20 President Obama: nabs Benghazi mastermind; steady on Iraq; orders ban on discrimination among fed contractors against LGBT employees; expands Pacific Remote Islands Marine National Monument.
June 27 The Supreme Court of Canada, for granting Aboriginal groups the right to claim possession and control of ancestral lands permanently.

Who will win in the third quarter?  I'm sworn to secrecy, but here's a hint: her invisible plane plays a major role in saving the republic.  Stay tuned!

Have a tolerable Monday.  Sorry, but I won't be able to post any more C&Js until next month.  Get it?  Get it???  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

"It is widely known Bill in Portland Maine is no longer alive and has been displayed by a look alike."
---Timothy Ray Murray

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Poll

Which June birthday gaggle would you rather do lunch with?

1%51 votes
16%456 votes
15%446 votes
21%604 votes
1%31 votes
12%346 votes
16%453 votes
10%289 votes
4%114 votes

| 2795 votes | Vote | Results

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