Don’t you fools get it. This is all just a way for the Illuminati to distract the whole world while they do Illuminati things.
Hopefully phones never become self-aware because my phone knows more about me than any human ever will even more than Stan at the NSA. Hi Stan
Squirrels are always looking around like they’re in constant danger. Get the fuck over yourselves. You live in a tree.
Yea birds can fly, but they can’t high five each other after and that makes me sad.
Escape the mundane with this one weird trick: mescaline. Or herbal tea and a nice book. Whichever.
The real question is, are there spider ghosts? Because fuck everything if there are spider ghosts.