So apparently this is a thing in real 'Murka (h/t TPM)
For years, environmentalists have hated on Hummers and other irresponsible, gas-guzzling vehicles. Now, a group of truckers are evidently fighting back against the movement to lower carbon emissions, rigging their vehicles to purposefully emit higher levels of smog into the atmosphere.
According to a report from WSB-TV Atlanta, this pursuit is known as “rolling coal” and is used to shoot plumes of smoke at “small-car driving liberals.” The truckers who partake in rolling coal are apparently fearful that any movement to protect the environment will threaten their right to drive gas-guzzling, diesel-fueled vehicles around freely. Hence, they are fighting back.
First there was Sarah Palin handing out 1000-calorie-a-serving s'mores to grade school kids to protest Michelle Obama's calls for kids to eat healthy and exercise, then you had man-children taking their AR-15s with them to Target while they go shopping for Oreos, now you have mentally-compromised sons of liberty resorting to stuff like this in the war against Obama's tyranny:
That'll show Obama and those dirty tree-hugging hippies! To paraphrase Patrick Henry, Give me liberty AND give me death!
Because nothing says "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" like aggressively spewing toxic, carcinogenic chemicals and hydrocarbons into the atmosphere in an attempt to more quickly bring about an extinction event via climate change. But that's not happening for a while anyway, it's not like anyone's getting harmed in the short-term.
According to the Clean Air Taskforce, diesel exhaust is one of the country’s greatest sources of toxic pollutants and leads to 21,000 premature deaths each year, but even that won’t deter the coal rollers. “I’m not a scientist, but it couldn’t be too horrible,” Robbie says. “There are a lot of factories that are doing way worse than my truck.”
I guess "Don't Tread On Me" doesn't apply to those 21,000 people every year who get their right to be
alive tread upon by the rights of people like Robbie to barf up asthma and lung disease-inducing toxins into the atmosphere. But, as a coal-addled friend of Robbie's says, "it makes you feel better sometimes".
But as for those 21,000 people who die every year because of toxic pollution, not so much.
Oh, and it's not exactly an inexpensive hobby:
Today kids will spend anywhere from $1,000 to $5,000 modifying their pickups for this sole purpose; adding smoke stacks and smoke switches (which trick the engine into thinking it needs more gas), or even revamping the entire fuel system.
Fiscal responsibility! Then again, I guess freedom isn't free. But I'll be damned if that ObaMao tries to make me pay
$82 a month (with subsidies, which I assume young invincibles like Robbie, who works at a diesel garage, would qualify for) for health insurance that I'll need to treat any illnesses I might get from inhaling the noxious fumes and carcinogens that I paid $5,000 to emit more of.
Seriously, President Obama should troll these guys by declaring his intent to sign an executive order banning people from inserting and lighting M-80s into the holes at the end of their penises. Within hours or days I would expect to see this:
"In other news today, a Georgia man was severely injured and is extremely lucky to be alive tonight after lighting an M-80 while it was inserted into..."