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Follow me on Twitter @MattBors and order a copy of my latest book, Life Begins At Incorporation.

Originally posted to Comics on Tue Jul 08, 2014 at 01:40 PM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos and Daily Kos Classics.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (136+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    deben, laurak, SCFrog, CanisMaximus, slatsg, Eyesbright, Nova Land, Simian, Gordon20024, blueoasis, JeffW, Thomas Twinnings, Greyhound, tofumagoo, happymisanthropy, WakeUpNeo, jck, papahaha, kevinpdx, rebel ga, Larsstephens, T Maysle, mookins, ericlewis0, implicate order, thomask, midnight lurker, enhydra lutris, i saw an old tree today, belinda ridgewood, Syoho, koosah, El Bloguero, hamjudo, AKBear, Rashaverak, reginahny, Texnance, mungley, Crashing Vor, ActivistGuy, JML9999, Arfeeto, skepticalcitizen, Damnit Janet, northerntier, MHB, aaraujo, ditsylilg, hbk, not4morewars, Fabienne, Yonit, Nicci August, livingthedream, 420 forever, Texknight, tj iowa, libera nos, PistonMoaned, quill, thanatokephaloides, raboof, cowdab, SunnyDay, Hohenzollern, The ghost of Lenny Bruce, dewtx, MKinTN, wader, ichibon, raspberryberet, leftist vegetarian patriot, gunnarthor, RichterScale, cspivey, Rosaura, Sylv, Matilda, meinoregon, Independent Progressive, aratinga, SillyMama, doingbusinessas, rhp, justaHippie, dewolf99, War4Sale, mapamp, degreesofgray, WearyIdealist, sendtheasteroid, BYw, owlbear1, Mathazar, NM Ray, Scathach, SirReal, stvnjon, Iron Spider, kevinbr38, GirlSwimmingInASeaOfRed, NYWheeler, Proletariatprincess, Blight45, Gwennedd, salliezoo, erquirk, dasher3, Cynthianna, Eikyu Saha, QBee59, rgjdmls, dalef77, okpkpkp, Whamadoodle, dansmith17, redwolf68, Socalled Socialist, kurt, kirnerpilstime, portlandzoo, twocrows1023, bobcat41702, Sandika, MooseHB, Toprow, Katannah, theBCI, Dodgerdog1, ifthethunderdontgetya, BeninSC, OrpheusDude, Purple Priestess, Jon Sullivan, cyncynical
  •  This would be funnier... (33+ / 0-)

    if it weren't true.  Or more accurately, if the RWNJs didn't hold a deep and sincere belief that it's true.

    I'll believe corporations are people when one comes home from Afghanistan in a body bag.

    by mojo11 on Tue Jul 08, 2014 at 01:42:34 PM PDT

    •  It's not true at all . . . (12+ / 0-)

      Jesus was primarily an inclusive liberal (perhaps even a radical), despite the fact that the religious right (and, when they find it convenient, the secular right also) pretend to "adopt" Jesus as somehow their own.

      Unfortunately, there are also many secular liberals who are themselves unaware of this (passively buying into the falsehood), since many of them have completely turned their backs on religious thought, study, and discussion.

      •  Should have read Mojo's entire comment (16+ / 0-)

        Specifically, this part:

        Or more accurately, if the RWNJs didn't hold a deep and sincere belief that it's true.
        I think that most of us on the liberal end of the spectrum do understand that what the loudest Christians preach is very different from what Jesus actually talked about.

        If Democrats proclaim the the Earth is round and Republicans insist it is flat, we will shortly see a column in the Washington Post claiming the the earth is really a semi-circle.

        by TexasTom on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 11:14:09 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  AND that what the loudest Christians preach (6+ / 0-)

          is what THEY usually DON'T DO.

        •  Hear! Hear! (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          silverfoxcruiser, ptressel

          It's time for ALL OF US to set aside our political and religious differences and join forces to fight the profit-over-planet crazies in and out of government in the fossil fuel war loving, planet polluting oligarchy.

          For example, you know those fundies always blamed for ignoring the climate issue. Well, they GET IT NOW!

          I just read from a Seniors web site that are Christians the truth that ACTUAL Christians NEVER were supposed to agree to trashing the environment. All that mind fork injected into the so-called Fundies has absolutely nothing to do with Christianity and EVERYTHING to do with a pro-war, pro fossil fuel oligarchic propaganda exercise lasting more than a century. 

          " What's With That Dirty House Roof?
          We recently celebrated "Earth Day".. From my Christian perspective, I believe we have a deep responsibility to be good stewards of the planet that God has given for  each of us to use for a few years. "This Is My Father's World" Have you sung hymn at church? I have, since I was a wee boy, and that's a long time. So then, today might be a good time for each of us to ask if we have been responsible  "our Father's world". And, how can I be more responsible tomorrow?

          From a more practical perspective, what good is having all of the money or gold in the world, if we have destroyed our air, water, and land? Have you noticed how filth from the sky has fouled your roof, or the one next door?                                          
          We didn't see so much of this just a few years ago. If you have a new home with a clean roof, just drive around and look at some 10-year roofs. Crud from the air has       been deposited on roofs, and streaked by the rain.

          If it's on the roofs, it has also been sucked into our lungs. An awful thought. It's in our air, our water, our land.

          We have taken God's gift to us, and polluted it. So what can we do about it? You have the answers if you - - just stop for a moment to think about it. Now - - - ACT!" [img][/img] 

          "Release of the International Surface Temperature Initiative’s (ISTI’s) Global Land Surface Databank, an expanded set of fundamental surface temperature records "
          Calling GW deniers everywhere. Go crawling to your Koch dirty energy funded mendacity for profit-over-planet mindfork propaganda "think"(septic) tanks for your "talking points". The liars are going to have to come up with some world class bullshit verbal gymnastics to find ANY questionable data in this COMPREHENSIVE, PEER REVIEWED DATA SET.

          "Guest post by Jared Rennie, Cooperative Institute for Climate and Satellites, North Carolina on behalf of the databank working group of the International Surface
          Temperature Initiative In the 21st Century, when multi-billion dollar decisions are being made to mitigate and adapt to climate change, society rightly expects openness and transparency in climate science to enable a greater understanding of how climate has changed and how it will continue to change. Arguably the very foundation of our understanding is the observational record.

          Today a new set of fundamental holdings of land surface air temperature records stretching back deep into the 19th Century  has been released as a result of several years of effort by a multinational group of scientists.

          The International Surface Temperature Initiative (ISTI) was launched by an international and multi-disciplinary group of scientists in 2010 to improve understanding of the Earth’s climate from the global to local scale.

          The Databank Working Group, under the leadership of NOAA’s National Climatic Data Center (NCDC), has produced an innovative data holding that largely leverages off existing data sources, but also incorporates many previously unavailable sources of surface air temperature.

          This data holding provides users a way to better track the origin of the data from its collection through its integration. By providing the data in various stages that lead to the integrated product, by including data origin tracking flags with information on each observation, and by providing the software used to process all observations, the processes involved in creating the observed fundamental climate record are completely open and transparent to the extent humanly possible. - "

          Full READ IT AND WEEP (for fossil fuelers ) fact filled article at link below:

          Demand an END to DIRTY ENERGY NOW!  

          "Approximately 13 percent of the U.S. electricity supply was powered by renewables as of the end of 2013, roughly half of Germany’s rate."

          The USA, a historic leader in new technology, is getting left behind because of the profit-over-planet biosphere degrading fossil fuel industry that buys our politicians with the profits from pollution producing fuels while said politicians keep fossil fuel and nuclear power plant "subsides" (taxpayer theft!) to tilt the energy playing field against renewable energy.  


          America DOES NOT have to play second fiddle to being the first country to win the Climate Victory because of idiot greedball, war loving fossil fuelers.

          As part of being responsible, caring human beings, we have to pressure our government to take major action to stop the degradation of the biosphere from climate change. This is causing death and disease to both domestic animals and wildlife, all of which have done nothing to deserve such a horrible fate at our hands.

          It's time to eliminate the excuse our fossil fuel loving oligarchy uses for "resources" wars for oil that bring nothing but misery to us and profits for them.

          I started a petition on Care2: Demand Liberty From Fossil Fuels Through 100% Renewable Energy WWII Style Effort. I'm hoping that if enough people sign my petition, we can make a difference. Will you help me collect more by adding your name?

          Here's a link to the petition:
          Thank you and please pass it on. The biosphere you save may be your own.

        •  semi-circle (0+ / 0-)

          Don't you mean hemisphere ?

      •  Jesus a liberal? (7+ / 0-)

        "Jesus was primarily an inclusive liberal... "  No, he wasn't.  He was an exorcist, a faith healer, an end-of-the-world nut who thought that justice for the poor and everyone else would come after the world came to an end.  He was also against divorce, and not very fond of marriage -- he thought it was better to avoid marriage if you could (just like the apostle Paul).  "Liberalism" as it's used in contemporary American politics just doesn't fit a first-century Jew, or a first-century anyone.

        According to the gospels he was at best ambivalent about non-Jews, and the pro-Gentile stories are suspect because they (like the rest of the gospels) come from a period when the mission to Jews had largely been abandoned in favor of evangelizing Gentiles; they may have been invented to make Jesus look friendlier to the goyim than he actually was.  But "inclusive" is not the word I'd use for someone who taught that he wanted to foment division, to break families, to set parent against child and brother against brother, and in the final judgment to separate the sheep from the goats.  He also taught that only a few found the way to salvation, while most would be lost.  At best, you're oversimplifying on this issue.  But then, anyone who actually does study early Christianity isn't likely to think that any modern form of the sect can appeal to Jesus as a model.

        •  That's some ugly, highly selective reductionism (9+ / 0-)

          you're selling there @Duncan1951.  There's a whole lot more to the contents of the Gospels than that.  Your reading is the kind of thing that comes from taking an academic modern-day secular point of view and failing to fully read between the lines in the context of the times.

          While you're correct that "Liberalism" as a (Western-hemisphere) concept today doesn't at all fit the 1st-century world view, Jesus of Nazareth is viewed by progressive Christians as offering a radical, highly-inclusive, love-is-the-greatest-commandment approach to life - a huge challenge to the authorities both religious and secular.

          If the early sects got so much wrong, it's not surprising as they had rather little to go on and where working it out the hard way.

          •  Jesus was a radical, (5+ / 0-)

            which is why the hierarchy of His era wanted to get rid of him...He threatened their status quo.

            There's only one rule that I know of, babies -- goddammit, you've got to be kind. -- Kurt Vonnegut

            by Cali Scribe on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 12:24:45 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  Doesn't really matter (0+ / 0-)

              When the only scripture the, "Christian," wingnuts quote is from the Old Testament, pre-Christian.
              It certainly is much easier to understand a vengeful, jealous, wrathful God than to accept and give love.
              From each book: "Thou shalt have no other gods but Me." "The love of money is the root of all evil."
              Case closed for the Plutocrats.

              "To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence." - Mark Twain

              by CaptainAnalog on Fri Jul 11, 2014 at 07:12:13 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

            •  Jesus is a myth (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:

              Just ask Pope Leo X. He is quoted as declaring: "It has served us well, this myth of Christ."

              The character of Jesus was invented by those who sought to compete with the many other 'God Men' prevalent in the ancient world at the time. Pope Leo X knew this and said so on many occasions (as did all the rest of the long line of Popes but were afraid to state it publicly).

              A study of Papal bulls and speeches is a daunting task, but quotes can be found if you have the patience to rummage through the Vatican, Papal archives.

              This whole Christian thing is a hoax; a power grabbing stunt that got way out of control. Of course, any other religion is no better and serves the same controlling interests of the monied elite.

              "Faith answers no questions; it prohibits us from asking them"

              by OldSickandTired on Sat May 23, 2015 at 07:38:04 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  Any other religion? (0+ / 0-)

                Organized religions, perhaps.

              •  I am sick and tired of endless efforts (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                tropical fruit

                to counter such drivel. Try this:

                "Although widely attributed to Leo X, the earliest known source of this statement is actually a fiercely antipapal work by the ex-Catholic Anglican priest John Bale “Acta Romanorum Pontificum usque ad tempora Paulo IV” (Basel 1538; Frankfurt 1567; Leiden 1615) which was first translated from Latin into English as "The Pageant of the Popes" in 1574:

                "For on a time when a cardinall Bembus did move a question out of the Gospell, the Pope gave him a very contemptuous answer saying: All ages can testifie enough howe profitable that fable of Christe hath ben to us and our companie."

                The Pope in this case being Leo X.

                There are no authenticated documents that state that the real Pope Leo X actually said this.


                aures lupi

              •  Who quoted that pope with those words? (0+ / 0-)

                Someone at one of his orgies? Seriously, I couldn't care less what any pope ever said about anything, because they're all nothing but overblown altar boys who get carted around the globe like gods and indulge in whatever kind of depravity they deem appropriate whenever they feel like it. But it is, indeed, instructive to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

          •  Agreed (0+ / 0-)

            It's time for ALL OF US to set aside our political and religious differences and join forces to fight the profit-over-planet crazies in and out of government in the fossil fuel war loving, planet polluting oligarchy. For example, you know those fundies always blamed for ignoring the climate issue. Well, they GET IT NOW!
            I just read from a Seniors web site that are Christians the truth that ACTUAL Christians NEVER were supposed to agree to trashing the environment. All that mind fork injected into the so-called Fundies has absolutely nothing to do with Christianity and EVERYTHING to do with a pro-war, pro fossil fuel oligarchic propaganda exercise lasting more than a century. 
            " What's With That Dirty House Roof?
            We recently celebrated "Earth Day".. From my Christian perspective, I believe we have a deep responsibility to be good stewards of the planet that God has given for          each of us to use for a few years. "This Is My Father's World" Have you sung that  hymn at church? I have, since I was a wee boy, and that's a long time. So then, today might be a good time for each of us to ask if we have been responsible with "our Father's world". And, how can I be more responsible tomorrow? 
            From a more practical perspective, what good is having all of the money or gold in the world, if we have destroyed our air, water, and land? Have you noticed how filth from the sky has fouled your roof, or the one next door?  
            We didn't see so much of this just a few years ago. If you have a new home with a clean roof, just drive around and look at some 10-year roofs. Crud from the air has           been deposited on roofs, and streaked by the rain.

            If it's on the roofs, it has also been sucked into our lungs. An awful thought. It's in our air, our water, our land.
            We have taken God's gift to us, and polluted it. So what can we do about it? You have the answers if you - - just stop for a moment to think about it.Now - - - ACT!" [img][/img] 

            Progress of Petition to Change this Forking Dirty Energy World! 

            CA  Jul 05, 07:16  # 227 Our local, family owned company has been providing solar services to the OC and desert communities for 38 yrs.  

            Spain Jul 04, 07:39  # 224   I have learnt that my life has the same value as the life of a person that lived in the past and the life of person who will live in the future. They probably dream also of a better future for us or for the future predecessors..We all have different dreams but I hope that we humans keep on dreaming and carry on with this miracle of having an intelligent life in a marvelous place like planet earth. For us, for the people. Andres

            CA  Jul 03, 17:33 # 221 I've been off grid using solar electricity and solar heating for more than 25 years. I also worked for an electric utility and saw how their investments in massive central coal, nuclear and natural gas plants and the interstate transmission lines required to get the energy was actually more expensive and less reliable than the long term costs of solar, wind and geothermal power. But the utility used very sophisticated bookkeeeping to hide the real cost of energy and the greater customer benefits of investments in energy efficiency and renewable energy.
            Turkey Jul 02, 23:40 # 220 All over the world we, people and NGOs have to be more proactive for changing the energy sources to renewables as gifted by our nature, stopping using the fossil fuel sources killing our nature and future.
            Here's a link to the petition to the White House to Demand a 100% Transition to Renewable energy within a decade using the World War II Liberty Ship Manufacturing Miracle:
            Thank you and please pass it on. The Biosphere you save may be your own...

          •  "Reading between the lines" (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Nautical Knots

            ...means editing other's writings to mean whatever YOU want them to say, and will always be illegitimate and irrelevant.
            Just HONESTLY read/comprehend what is actually written.

          •  yes, but Duncan is correct... (0+ / 0-)

            on many of his facts. Jesus had a lot of good stuff to say, but he also could be vindictive and nasty. Modern day Christianity has evolved into a much different religion than what Jesus was preaching. This does not make Jesus a bad person or something, just someone who was very much a person of his time. However, I agree with what you are saying, in that what some people do who call themselves Christains varies greatly from modern day Christianity.

          •  read between the lines ?! (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Pamelia HR, Nautical Knots

            are you kidding? tell ya what, you go make up your own version of Christianity and then stick it ... between your own damn lines.

            When there's no way to make sense of words other than wholesale "interpretation" of them, you're probably dealing with what was utter bullshit in the first place.

        •  Twisted Words (11+ / 0-)

          I'm not a religious person but I'm not gonna let this horseshit stand. You've earned a random long-ass ranting post by flaunting your lack of knowledge and sensitivity whilst simultaneously acting like an expert.

          "I came for the lost sheep of the house of Israel." Matthew 15:41

          Well, damn, I guess he came for the Jews too. There are also other verses later in the New Testament where Paul basically says the "real" Israel isn't some sort of genetic or cultural thing, but a personal state of being. "Not all who are Israel are Israel."

          "Rejoice not that the demons of hell are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." Luke 10:20

          Comparing Jesus to a modern-day exorcist or faith healer is like comparing a Sufi to a modern new-ager. They're only superficially similar, at best, and once you get down into the meat you find they're about as different as night and day.

          "The kingdom of God does not come with careful observation, nor will people say "it's here,' or 'it's there,' because the kingdom of God is within you." Luke 17:20-21

          "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. " Luke 12:31

          "If you seek me you will find me." (All over the Old and New Testament, too many to cite them all. For easy reference, all of the book of Jeremiah.)

          "Broad is the path of destruction and many follow it, but narrow is the way to life, and few find it." Matthew 7:13-14

          Take those last four as a kind of syllogism leads us to an interesting place. If you find whenever you seek, but few find, then that can only mean that few are seeking. Interesting. I wonder if Jesus said anything about that in particular.

          "You search the scriptures because in them you think you have life, and indeed they are that which testify of me (Life) but you are not willing to come to me that you might have life." John 5:39-40

          I could go on and on about other New Testament verses where Paul says the only God or Jesus that we should be knowing is the one that is within, but I think you might be starting to get the idea now. You know, I think I will lay one more Jesusism on you to drive the point home.

          "Don't cling to me, for I have not yet ascended." John 20:17. Well, how about that. Jesus, the Jesus, telling us not to cling to him. Just a few verses later we're told we're getting his spirit, which is better-suited to the job anyway. Again, given what Paul said about "Not knowing Jesus after the flesh anymore," I think it's safe to conclude that the life, the Jesus, and the kingdom the bible speaks of is a personal condition, an individual state of being. Oh, what's this? "Always bearing about in my body the dying of the Lord Jesus, so that the life of Jesus might be manifest in my mortal flesh." 2 Cor. 4:10.
          Paul wasn't the only one to express such a sentiment; "The price of eternal life is steep indeed; in order to obtain it, one must die several times whilst still alive." -Friedrich Nietzsche.

          Yeah, the life that Jesus talks about is a personal state of being, it's for everyone that wants it, some people don't pursue it, and that's perfectly okay. There's no judgment in making a descriptive statement saying not very many people decide to go that route. No one in the text is making a moral value judgment in any of those. The closest Jesus ever comes to a moral value judgment is when he engages in acts of physical violence against people who try and make money by exploiting peoples' spiritual practices.

          Oh, and about the sword-part of your little Gish gallop (And really, I never thought I'd see a Gish gallop used against religion.) yes, Jesus did promise to bring not just division, but the word he used was "sword." Here, let me quote that one too. "I did not come to bring peace, but to bring a sword. I've come to set son against father, daughter against mother...etc... Matthew 10:34-35.

          "The word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

          "The sword of the spirit is the word of God." Ephesians 6:17.

          Well, now we know what kind of sword Jesus meant to bring, and now we know what that sword does, and from there I think it's safe to say we know why it has the effect that it does. When you can cut through the masks that people hide behind, sometimes you find ugly stuff, and sometimes that stuff sets people against each other. People lie to each other on a daily basis for reasons like convenience and preserving each others' feelings. The masks people wear are as much for those around them as they are for themselves sometimes, but that "sword" is supposed to cut through all of that. I think now's the time to borrow another Nietzsche quote: "Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth simply because they don't want their illusions destroyed." Seriously, try destroying a person's illusions, illusions that they rely on for comfort. You'll be lucky to escape with life and limb intact. Hunting for the truth, especially the truth concealed in peoples' hearts, is not something that typically engenders peace.

          And I don't remember anywhere where Jesus said it was better to avoid marriage. I remember Paul expressing an opinion along those lines though. Jesus, and the culture that surrounded him, also defined divorce differently than how we do today. They also defined marriage differently. In their day, the act of consummation was the marriage, and divorce, according to the text, was external forces trying to separate two people who wanted to be together. The only time Jesus mentions divorce as coming from one of the couple members, is when one party abandoned their spouse for another.

          It's a sad truth in this day and age that so many who claim to be enlightened refuse to even entertain the possibility that we might be able to find some valuable wisdom in old sacred texts like the bible, or the Vedas, or the Buddhavacana. They're art, they're literature, and they serve the same ends of personal development and growth that all art serves. It's not inaccurate to call Jesus an inclusive liberal. He was equally at home with the low and high class people of society, and didn't discriminate between Jew, Samaritan, or Gentile. Kind of like the God of the Old Testament, "he was no respecter of persons."

        •  Paul specifically qualified his remark with the... (0+ / 0-)

          Paul specifically qualified his remark with the statement that it was his own opinion not an apostolic mandate... It was a recommendation made in ignorance of any specific revelation on the subject. But then he goes on to say that marriage is good so that you don't tempt yourself. You don't have to agree with this sentiment, and I have corrected your misstatement.

        •  He said he *would* cause division. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:

          He didn't say he wanted to.  You're misrepresenting his words there.

          The '60s were simply an attempt to get the 21st Century started early; don't mistake an unfulfilled dream for a lost one. A dream has no deadline!

          by Panurge on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 03:33:54 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  Well, actually, ALL the stories about Jesus (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          salliezoo, bfdf75, Sk8eycat

          in the Bible are suspect. Go back and compare the life of Jesus, as described, with the life of Heracles as given in the Greek myths.

          1. Both were the sons of a king-god and a mortal woman.

          2. Both were targeted for killing as infants by jealous monarchs: Herod in Jesus' case, Zeus's jealous wife Hera in Heracles'. (She sent poisonous snakes to kill him in his crib; he strangled them with his bare hands.)

          3. Little is known about either one's life between childhood and grown manhood.

          4. Jesus had twelve apostles; Heracles, twelve labors.

          5. Both died and ascended into heaven. Heracles was poisoned by a jilted lover, so that his mortal nature perished and he rose to Olympus fully divine.

          I'm sure there are others, but those hit the highlights.

          The Greeks had plenty of opportunity to influence accounts of Jesus' life, of which the oldest known date to decades after the Crucifixion; they were among the first people, after the Jews, to take a serious interest in the new faith, and the New Testament was translated into Greek before it was rendered in Latin.

        •  I've never taken Jesus' words about the divisio... (0+ / 0-)

          I've never taken Jesus' words about the divisions between people as causative, bug rather as predictive.

        •  Several rebuttals are contained in the following: (0+ / 0-)

          song by a Jew!

          (Ducks back out of knife fight)

        •  Do not confuse the actual teachings of Jesus (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:

          with the letters written to the early Christians from people like Paul and others who claimed authority in the young church.  The words of Jesus were those of a liberal who preached love and compassion for the poor and unfortunate and care for the world and it's people.  The words of Paul are those of a man who hates women and is already creating the dogma and strictures adopted by the church over the centuries.  Some people interpret the Bible literally, but others know the History of the Bible and the early church and understand that there may be things in the Bible that have been modified over the years or ineptly translated.

        •  When the Ends of Worlds are common events (0+ / 0-)

          Jesus was not an "End of the World nut." In the ancient world nothing was more self-evident than that worlds came to ends, and the role of the Messiah was supposed to be the political task of ending which ever empire held the area around Jerusalem, returning the Jews to self rule. Jesus took this mundane task and used it to introduce a behavioral model that would help his followers to avoid getting sucked into the end of the Roman Empire which every one, especially the Romans, believed was about to implode pretty much from the time of Augustus. A compassionate, non-violent social organization is, actually, a good way to deal with End Times. The loony tunes eager to precipitate Armageddon have really lost the point.

          If you filter out what isn't presented as a verbatim quote, you can see that there is much in the Gospels that is based on a disciple's direct recollection and the thrust of Jesus's message is that, after the End, you will be judged on how much you minimized the suffering that goes with End Times. How much of his idea of the judgment has to do with motivating his followers and how much he really believed in it is anyone's guess. As for the idea that there was no way but his way,his words were for his audience, not everyone everywhere for all time. As for the Epistles, you are better off going to the Apocrypha. Paul had his own agenda. As for the Book of Revelations, that's a political screed with some Christianity thrown in for good measure.

        •  Duncan, my friend (0+ / 0-)

          you need to do a little bit of academic study of the Bible at a good theological institution. Your interpretation of the Gospel message is really overly literal. I'm sorry that you have chosen such a negative view.  I personally find Jesus to be a wonderful role model of how to treat others -- he welcomed the outcasts of his day.

        •  Saul, aka Paul (0+ / 0-)

          Wasn't an apostle, he never met Jesus in his life. He was a con artist who knew a good con.

      •  If it's not true.... (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        Why don't "they" treat others the way we were taught  in Sunday School and Church? We haven't generally, given up on GOD or Jesus, we have given up on organized religion that dictates who is worthy of kindness, love and empathy.
        I am required by church, nice local old Methodists to give 10% of my income, whether I can afford it or not.  While one of our former ministers and his wife drives a Bugatti? Not only have our politicians, elected officials, but also our clergy all been bought. I no longer have faith, in any of them. Poor evangelicals.  They will go to hell, without their tithe. I have escaped. They have lost the purpose that Jesus set for all of us, love and kindness for our fellow man,  (women or children).

      •  And those dang Founding Fathers were (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Bluegeorgia, Sk8eycat, bobcat41702

        liberal, too.
        All of the amendments to the constitution are liberal, except for the one we turned back on (prohibition).
        Boy, those conservatives are truly blind.

      •  Oh, but I haven't (0+ / 0-)

        completely turned my back on religious thought, study, and discussion.
        It's a subject of discussion relatively often among those of us who might be considered secular "progressives".
        The general consensus is that each one of us is capable of thinking, studying, and discussing religious concepts, then living our lives in a manner that each of us feels we are most beneficial to each other, our families, communities, and the world.
        This CAN be done very effectively without the inclusion of organized religious thought, rules, organization, or "adopting" any of those symbols.
        Been there, done that once.

      •  It's not true at all?..... (0+ / 0-)

        It just amazes me what people speculate about Christians, so here I will call myself a follower and devotee of Jesus Christ only.

        I have to say it is not really a good idea to put words into Jesus' mouth.  He spoke what He spoke, Words He heard our Father speak and they were all pure and true.  Jesus had a good sense of humor when called for, but the above is a very poor excuse for humor and in very poor taste.  

        If you really want to know what He would really say, it's all written down in His love letters to mankind, so go find a Bible and read it.  After all, it is the best seller of all books for all time, and if you are at all concerned about what happens to your eternal soul, you will find the answers there.

        If you are at all into critical thinking, read, study and decide for yourself.  We all have the same opportunity to know our creator.  Why wait?

      •  religious (0+ / 0-)

        is not the same as spiritual, which covers a lot more bases of thinking outside one's personal box. It is probably at the root of what Dallas Texans are doing individually to assuage the critical border situation, despite Governor Perry's turncoat approach (he got booed off the RNC stage for saying "have a heart" when asked about immigration).

      •  to fwcetus (0+ / 0-)

        I'm a proud secular humanist and have spent my life studying religious beliefs (ALL of them, not just the Abrahamic religions).  

        Not sure what you mean by "adopting" Jesus except to note that many of his teachings were humanist, mainly The Golden Rule.  

        The Jews believe their messiah will be fully human.  So even if Jesus believed he was the messiah, as a Jew he would have known he was fully human and not a half god.  It was Paul (who NEVER KNEW JESUS but arrogantly spoke for him) who conflated the universal myth of the sacrificial son of the pagan god Zeus (or whatever god you choose) onto the myth of the fully human messiah of the Jewish god Yaweh.  The result was the myth of the demigod Jesus Christ and his mythical resurrection.

      •  Exactly! (0+ / 0-)

        A radical is exactly the way I would describe Jesus. Since when does the Bible say that being a Christian equates to being a Republican?! I am not a fan of most politicians on either side because I feel they both are too involved or in bed with big corps like Monsanto but I am tired of American Christians acting like Republicans are so godly when it is the furthest thing from the truth. And why do so many of my "fellow" Christians deny climate change?! It is in the Bible that everything (including the weather) would go to pot in the end days. I have lived in the same area for 25 years and the weather has drastically changed but they continue to deny it. Bizarre.

      •  No such thing as Jesus (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        No such thing as Jesus

      •  I agree. (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Thinkster, BeninSC

        All that is written about the man, Jesus, appears to corroborate the idea that he was a radical/liberal/populist, etc.  I've also read that his ideas got him arrested and executed by a strong right-wing government.

      •  jesus (4+ / 0-)

        The human brain is an amazing organ.  It keeps working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, from before you leave the womb, right up to the day you find a religion.

      •  So true!!! (0+ / 0-)

        I know the cartoon is an obvious joke by saying what too many people seem to believe. But I go by two sayings of Jesus that covers most everything He taught: Rule No. 1—"Love God with everything you've got." Rule No. 2 — "Love your neighbor [no qualifications except a person near to you in some fashion—same family, same neighborhood, same country, same world] as yourself."

      •  comment (0+ / 0-)

        "since many of them have completely turned their backs on religious thought, study, and discussion."
        and rightfully so...
        -If you're intelligent read "The God Delusion", think a bit and then see if your comment makes any sense at all...

      •  If Jesus even actually existed at all, (0+ / 0-)

        even as a man, and not some mythical demi-god character, I'm pretty sure his entourage included anyone who could chip a few bucks into the fund and help keep his ass from being stoned or crucified. An "inclusive" liberal? Yeah, you bet.

      •  I think Jesus would have been considered radical (0+ / 0-)

        both when he lived and if people really thought about his message - that would be considered radical today.  

        But it is something to live by - his radicalism - that is!

    •  Once, Christian churches led the refugee movement (0+ / 0-)

      Ironically, during the Reagan administration, when the first wave of refugees came from these three countries fleeing the results of our foreign policy, it was established churches that led the sanctuary movement, sponsoring illegals, agitating for refugee status and generally acting like real Christians. The schism between the Vatican and liberation theologists was driven by those events.

      So sad that things are at this point. Who would Jesus Deport?

    •  Forgot who quipped this on MSNBC (0+ / 0-)

      but the talking head said, "These are people who believe there was a talking snake, but that "Love thy neighbor" is a metaphor".

      Cracker(krăk´ẽr ) Someone, usually but not exclusively white, whose world view is primarily formed by consensual validation as opposed to observed fact, hence “cracker” for someone brittle, insubstantial and lacking in nutritive value.

      by outis2 on Sat May 23, 2015 at 03:25:05 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Squib Cakes. (3+ / 0-)

    "It ain't so much the things we don't know that get us in trouble. It's the things we know that ain't so." (Artemus Ward)

    by Silencio on Tue Jul 08, 2014 at 02:04:18 PM PDT

  •  You forgot... (26+ / 0-)

    ..."Thou shalt deny gay people wedding cake."

    "Wealthy the Spirit which knows its own flight. Stealthy the Hunter who slays his own fright. Blessed is the Traveler who journeys the length of the Light."

    by CanisMaximus on Tue Jul 08, 2014 at 04:03:41 PM PDT

  •  Hilarious! Perfect! (10+ / 0-)

    No "it'd be funnier if you included my idea" comment from me, no sir!

    You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

    by Simian on Tue Jul 08, 2014 at 04:10:25 PM PDT

  •  Supply Side Jesus! (12+ / 0-)

    And, poor Brian in the Monty Python movie "The Life of Brian," Guess Buddy Jesus is also going to make a comeback?

  •  Blessed are the Cheese Makers (19+ / 0-)

    For they shall bury your wealth in the Cayman Islands and attain the title "Job Creators(tm)."

    And God said, "Let there be light"; and with a Big Bang, there was light. And God said "Ow! Ow My eyes!" and in a flash God separated light from darkness. "Whew! Now that's better. Now where was I. Oh yea . . ."

    by Pale Jenova on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 07:03:36 AM PDT

  •  The Gospel according to St. Wingnut (9+ / 0-)

    "And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover, And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick’s over." - John Masefield

    by mungley on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 07:04:00 AM PDT

  •  Blessed are the incorporated (16+ / 0-)

    for they shall inherit the earth.

    Forget which beatitude that was...

    I live under the bridge to the 21st Century.

    by Crashing Vor on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 07:04:34 AM PDT

  •  I love it! (9+ / 0-)

    The holier-than-though types that populate the GOP's ranks have, by their utter arrogance and arrant stupidity, earned such scathing mockery and more!

  •  Prove to me you're no fool (9+ / 0-)

    I want 1 less Tiny Coffin, Why Don't You? Support The President's Gun Violence Plan.

    by JML9999 on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 07:11:39 AM PDT

  •  Its snark, right? right? (8+ / 0-)

    I can't tell anymore, the Onion is real.

    A true craftsman will meticulously construct the apparatus of his own demise.

    by onionjim on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 07:16:44 AM PDT

  •  Interesting Glenn Beck news: (5+ / 0-)

    He is taking food and water, Teddy bears and soccer balls to the border for distribution to the immigrant children coming in.

    From Breitbart:

    "Through no fault of their own, they are caught in political crossfire,” Beck said. “And while we continue to put pressure on Washington and change its course of lawlessness, we must also help. It is not either, or. It is both. We have to be active in the political game, and we must open our hearts.”
    He's always been his own kind of crazy, but this is a pretty good crazy.

    Not going to endear him to a lot of soon-to-be former fans.

    LG: You know what? You got spunk. MR: Well, Yes... LG: I hate spunk!

    by dinotrac on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 07:24:57 AM PDT

    •  A conservative with a heart? I've read that Mor... (0+ / 0-)

      A conservative with a heart? I've read that Mormons have traditionally been open minded about immigration issues because their history includes migrations. Beck is a Mormon convert. Perhaps he really understand this part of their history.

      •  could also explain (0+ / 0-)

        why Jon Huntsman is a man with some moral backbone; he is also Mormon and distantly related to Mitt Romney (for whatever that is worth). He is probably the best GOPer out there who could bridge the gap between the parties.

        If a guy like him got laughed off the stage (like Perry did), what hope do the GOPers have of ever recovering sanity?

  •  This Jesus would feel right at home in the GOP (13+ / 0-)

    Queror Ergo Sum. -- Rene Descartes Shakshuka

    by The Revenge of Shakshuka on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 07:25:24 AM PDT

  •  The Murrieta Protests (14+ / 0-)

    proved conclusively, once and for all, that America is NOT a Christian Nation. From now on, whenever one of these deluded wackos starts spouting crap about "America was founded on Christian principles", remind them of Murrieta.

  •  Where's his AK-47? (9+ / 0-)

    Can't be Jesus without guns!

    The thing about quotes on the internet is you cannot confirm their validity. ~Abraham Lincoln

    by raboof on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 08:04:49 AM PDT

  •  Blessed are the Colt Peacemakers for they shall... (6+ / 0-)

    Blessed are the Colt Peacemakers for they shall be called a Son of a Gun.

  •  It's so very sad to see what has been done in t... (5+ / 0-)

    It's so very sad to see what has been done in the name of such an incredible figure (if he existed). Hitler and Clarence Thomas are Catholic. So was Torquemada. Jesus, not so much.

    •  In simple point of FACT, Jesus never was! (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      •  Well... (0+ / 0-) seems likely that there was some sort of historical figure, so in that sense Jesus almost certainly did exist.  How different that historical figure was from the Jesus portrayed in the Bible is another matter...

        If Democrats proclaim the the Earth is round and Republicans insist it is flat, we will shortly see a column in the Washington Post claiming the the earth is really a semi-circle.

        by TexasTom on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 11:16:21 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Sorry if there be mis-understanding above. (0+ / 0-)

          My reply was to the poster, "intransit74", on the matter of whether or not Jesus was/is a "Catholic".  And I guess that isn't totally clear.

          Jesus is, for those of who are Christian, " . . . the Only-Begotten Son of God, Begotten of His Father before all worlds,  God of God, Light of Light, True God of True God, being of One Substance with the Father. . . ."  

          When the question arose as to whether or not Jesus was/is God - posited by the Alexandrian Deacon, Arius - the choice of wording in Greek was between "Homousion", meaning same, one,, and "Homoiusion", meaning like, or similar.

          The Council assembled in Nicaea declared for "Homousion".  Which has been the Christian usage ever since, in its Symbolion, or, as it is known throughout the Western/Roman Religion - from the first word in Latin, "Credo" - "The Creed".  However, the Roman Bishop - "Pope" - at the time, named Honorius, chose to insist upon "Homoiusion", thereby making the Roman part of the early Christian Church to be Arian in Faith and Doctrine, which it remained, and taught, for the next 125, or so, years - until some new Pope "infallibly changed his mind", and tried to rejoin Christian faith.

          Bishop, or "Pope", Honorius has been specifically remembered in the ANATHEMAS read throughout Christianity on Orthodoxy Sunday for the ensuing 1500+ years.  And Romanism itself used to so do as well; though that repentance now seems to have disappeared, ever since the time of Hitler's Pope, Pacelli - alias Pius XII.

          Imagine yourself in the coffee-house, with Deacon Arius sitting up on a stool in front, strumming his instrument and singing, "Well, you see, Jesus is God; but not quite" - as the late Archbishop Bartholomew of Blessed Memory used to illustrate the matter.  And you have the position adopted by Rome - which, for Christianity, is, simply, unadulterated HERESY!

    •  Roman Catholic Church started around 400AD when (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      Roman Emperor Constantine decided he needed a new state religion to unify his empire around.  He decided that early Christianity and I forgot name of sun worshiping sect that was second most popular then. were the too most popular religions so he told them to go merge with each other.  The result was the Roman Catholic church.

  •  Jesus/christianity very popular in U.S. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Andy Cook, Bluegeorgia

    I believe the vast majority of those that identify themselves as christians vote republican.  Sure, there are many that don't, but that's not usual.  Truth is, a HUGE number of people in the U.S. say they're christians.

    I don't see making that religion a subject of ire or making jokes about it or making it out to be some kind of radical-thinking group is positive.   I know that the defense to what I'm saying here was that this was put out "tongue-in-cheek", but making a cartoon about Jesus really doesn't resonate with anyone except those that just don't believe that christianity is nothing but a fairy tale and such.

    Many of included...are christians even though we don't necessarily believe everything the radical/fundamental christian faith presents.


    •  It's making fun of the way (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      delver, Gwennedd, Bluegeorgia, portlandzoo

      the Republicans see Jesus -- if they actually sat down and read the Gospels (starting with Matthew 25), they might start getting a little nervous.

      There's only one rule that I know of, babies -- goddammit, you've got to be kind. -- Kurt Vonnegut

      by Cali Scribe on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 12:29:13 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Yeah, I see that, Cali (0+ / 0-)

        I'm sure there are scriptures that, if taken literally, would scare the bejeebers out of most fundamentalist christians.  I don't think it's a republican/democratic thing, though.

        It's kind of like how just so many muslims see Muhammad.  I'm pretty sure there could be a myriad cartoons with regard to that.  

        I don't think making fun of either deity is tasteful, or necessary.  Just me, I guess.  

    •  I actually think that Christians who read the B... (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      I actually think that Christians who read the Bible don't vote for those who currently call themselves conservative. My denomination takes votes on many issues at the assemblies, and the results generally line up with what many call Progressive viewpoints.

    •  Not Necessarily (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      portlandzoo, miango113

      There are plenty of people who would identify themselves as full-on believers who love this kind of stuff. It's calling out people on their lies, and there are plenty of church-goers who would approve.

  •  We project too much nonsense on Jesus who never... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    We project too much nonsense on Jesus who never knew he'd be Mister Christ.

  •  This sort of stuff always gets a giggle ... (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    delver, gffish, bfdf75

    But how many of you -- including the cartoonist -- have bothered to read what Jesus said according to the gospels?  The anti-sex stuff, for example, like becoming a eunuch for the Kingdom of Heaven?  (I know, he probably didn't mean it literally, but even taken figuratively it's not a strong pro-sex or pro-marriage teaching.)  Or the end-of-the-world stuff, where he taught that it was coming within the lifetimes of those who heard him?  Or the time he called a non-Jewish woman and her daughter "dogs" when the woman begged him to heal her sick daughter?  And much, much more.  Liberals ignore Jesus' actual teaching as much as conservatives do -- they just ignore different parts of it.

    For those who like the non-canonical gospels, like Thomas, those aren't really more attractive from a liberal cafeteria-Christian perspective than Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John.

    •  You Again? (0+ / 0-)

      He never called the woman or her child anything of the sort.

      She asked for help, and he said, "It's not good to give the children's bread to the dogs." Matthew 15:26.

      Then she responded with Matthew 15:27, "But even the dogs eat the crumbs from the master's table."

      Matthew 15:28. "Great is thy faith, you're all good, blah blah blah."

      Weren't you also saying earlier that it was the Gentiles he was targeted at, and not the Jews? Granted it was a falsehood of yours that was begging to be corrected, but it seems like you're changing your story now. Anyway, the same idea applies here; he gave her "the bread of the children" so she must have been one of "the children," and that declaration about her faith being great seems to that idea up. I think the point you're missing is  that he was dealing with more than just a bodily illness. This woman clearly saw herself as a dog begging for scraps. Even in the Old Testament, this was not the position God wanted his people to be in. "There will come a day when you will no longer call me Baal (Master) but husband." Hosea 2:16.

      Here's what he had to say about eunuchs; "For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others--and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." Matthew 19:12.

      This sounds like another one of those simple descriptive statements, and it seems like it can be boiled down to, "For whatever reason, some people are eunuchs. Deal with it." There's not really much "teaching" going on there. It's just an observation about the way people are.

      And Jesus never taught about the end of the world either. That's a big mistake some people make. He was asked about the end of the age and when the kingdom of heaven would come on earth, and that was what he said will happen this generation. Don't get the actual text confused with the rhetorical spewings of crazy fringe groups.

    •  Eunichs for the Kingdom of Heaven: (0+ / 0-)

      Women, Sexuality and the Catholic Church. by Uta Ranke-Heineman. Great book.

  •  Expedited Adoption (0+ / 0-)

    It's really sad to see children all alone coming across the border.  While many talk about the financial burden, why not create a process that places the children immediately for expedited  adoption.  Under this system, the children would get the best care and upbringing possible by caring parents.  Any couple in a long term relationship would be eligible.  My wife and I adopted our 2 children 30 years ago when the waiting list was 7 years.  This solves both problems.  

  •  What??? (0+ / 0-)

    This not funny. It's stupid and just as misleading as anything out of FOX news. Clearly the authors of this "Cartoon" have no clue about humor.

  •  things Jesus said cartoon (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    OK, What did Jesus really say? all accounts of his actions are written by religious men.

    Would they change reality. YEP NO DOUBT!!
    These items listed below are agreed upon by most.  
    Jesus was a man.
    Jesus was Jewish.
    Jesus was a carpenter.
    Jesus did most of his teachings outdoors.
    Jesus was a rebel and a liberal.

    What is not in the BIBLE
    Jesus never said to build a church.
    Jesus never said build him something to worship too.
    ( example, a large cross with him on it ) etc etc.
    What language did Jesus speak in?
    The words abortion, LGBT  all four, contraceptives and health care. They where not even invented yet. SO there are no bible passages you can find them in using those exact words. ( unless they where printed not long ago)
    So how do the conservative right religions ever say Jesus was against these things and need an exception to paying health care?

    They are a personal beliefs held by priests and people.

    SO the hobby lobby law is not based in religion.
    IT also only affect women. How can a law apply only to women? Now hobby lobby is taking away women's 19th amendment rights.
    Also if you do not use contraceptives you get more unwanted babies and more abortions in ratio. SO the things they want are opposite their GOAL or law created.

    There may be many gods.
    Jesus /god/holy ghost
    Apollo, Zeus, Thor, Venus  etc etc.

    Mine, Mother mature! Now i can prove this one.

    What Jesus might say today.

    "Where did all these conservatives come from?"

    " I do not agree with anything the right conservatives religions say. The ONE i agree with is peace."  

    Now The words GOD and Jesus are not in the constitution at all.

    these documents should and the debate that is in not legal .

    the first amendment wording

    No religion can make civil law against another religion or non religion bias to their religion.

    Why is any court in the land even hearing these right conservative laws of any kind!!

    -- Thomas Jefferson

    The Government of the United States is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion.
    -- John Adams

    What influence in fact have Christian ecclesiastical establishments had on civil society? In many instances they have been upholding the thrones of political tyranny.
    --James Madison

    Christianity neither is, nor ever was a part of
    the common law.

    -Thomas Jefferson, letter to Dr. Thomas Cooper,
    February 10, 1814

    Believing with you that religion is a matter
    which lies solely between man and his God,
    that he owes account to none other for his faith or
    his worship, that the legislative powers of
    government reach actions only, and not opinions,
    I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of
    the whole American people which declared that their
    legislature should 'make no law respecting an
    establishment of religion, or prohibiting the
    free exercise thereof,' thus building a
    wall of separation between church and State.

    Essentially these five conservative judges are voting their supposed religion and political party.

    This is the most corrupt Supreme court in history so far!!!  

    A synthesizer can create any instrument made and others that have not be created yet.

    by RSGmusic on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 02:47:00 PM PDT

  •  The Golden Rule (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    there so many that claim they are Christians and obey God's word yet don't even know the Golden Rule
     "Do unto others what you have them unto you"
      the Golden rule is  in the Bible and  they will tell you it isn't either Testaments. Even after you show them it is in the Bible and Jesus said it they claim it was added to the Bible in the last few years by some liberal publishing company, The Bible I used was my Mon's who if still alive would be 95 and I have no idea how long she had had it.
    They also deny that Jesus said,  when asked about Jews paying taxes to the Romans," Render until to Caesar what is Caesar's (pay your taxes) and render unto God what is God's ( your soul). Especially the ones with lots of money
    If you are a real believer in what your religious book,Bible, Koran, Torah etc teaches you in regards how to treat others, help others and pay your taxes etc, you do it without making any kind of exception because of  religious beliefs, who they love, skin color you respect all, treat all right and help all that need it  no matter how rich or poor they are, how rich or poor you are.
    None  of which Republican- Tea party politicians and most of their base do.



  •  Or...he didn't say anything and it's all just m... (3+ / 0-)

    Or...he didn't say anything and it's all just made up mumbo jumbo..

  •  Let us rescue Jesus (0+ / 0-)

    from the right wing and from cynical cartoonists.

  •  I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to (0+ / 0-)

    post this on my Pinterest board too.  It is so right on the mark and I'd like to get it out into another format as well as Twitter, Facebook, etc.  If it's not ok, just let me know and I'll make sure it's taken down from the site.  I just think this needs more eyes seeing it is all.

    Thanks for all the great funnies.  I do love them!  


    If you can't dazzle 'em with brains, baffle 'em with bullshit!

    by GirlSwimmingInASeaOfRed on Wed Jul 09, 2014 at 04:02:52 PM PDT

  •  John Dominic Crossan gets it right (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Grindstone, smileycreek, portlandzoo

    “My point, once again, is not that those ancient people told literal stories and we are now smart enough to take them symbolically, but that they told them symbolically and we are now dumb enough to take them literally.”

  •  Too funny and too true. I think this kind of th... (0+ / 0-)

    Too funny and too true. I think this kind of thing deserves its own website. In fact, I had already been thinking about starting one.

  •  The Bible has been translated so many times tha... (0+ / 0-)

    The Bible has been translated so many times that I'm sure we'll never know the actual teachings and words of Jesus.

  •  It's not what you say... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Bluegeorgia, ajaradom

    that makes you a Christian.

    It's what you actually DO that makes you a Christian.

    An awful lot of so-called "Christians" are operating in a very deep deficit mode.

    •  I agree! I have mixed emotions/reactions to thi... (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      idiot hater

      I agree!

      I have mixed emotions/reactions to this cartoon. Part of me is jarred because it shocks my image of Jesus. Part of me smiles and giggles because Jesus was human, and I believe he had a sense of humor.

  •  Just who was this Jesus fellow anyway? (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    One's religious belief is a reflection of one's worldview. It comes as no surprise that right-wing Conservatives believe in a Christ that conforms to their political and personal views. There have been a plethora of Jesuses down through history. Serious scholarship in the field of Early Christianity offer numerous opinions on defining Jesus of Nazareth. I have a bookshelf filled with works on this interesting topic. (See for a nice summary even if it lacks 21st Century books on the subject). I'm currently reading L. Michael White's book, Scripting Jesus: The Gospels in Rewrite "In Scripting Jesus, famed scholar of early Christianity L. Michael White challenges us to read the gospels as they were originally intended—as performed stories of faith rather than factual histories. White demonstrates that each of the four gospel writers had a specific audience in mind and a specific theological agenda to push, and consequently wrote and rewrote their lives of Jesus accordingly—in effect, scripting Jesus to get a particular point across and to achieve the desired audience reaction.

    The gospel stories have shaped the beliefs of almost two and a half billion Christians. But the gospel writers were not reporters—rather, they were dramatists, and the stories they told publicly about Jesus were edited and reedited for the greatest effect. Understanding how these first-century Christians wanted to present Jesus offers us a way to make sense of the sometimes conflicting stories in the gospels.

    One gospel's version of events will be at odds with another. For instance, in Jesus's birth narrative, there is no mention of a stable in Matthew or Luke, but then there are no wise men in Luke and no shepherds in Matthew. Jesus has brothers in some gospel accounts, and sisters in others, and their naming is inconsistent. Depending on which gospel you are reading, the disciples shift from bumbling morons to heroes of faith. Miracles alter or disappear altogether, and whole scenes get moved around. Such changes from one gospel to the next reveal the shaping and reshaping of the basic story in the living world of the first followers of Jesus.

    With his usual engaging style, White helps us read the gospels with fresh eyes, giving us a clearer idea of what the gospel stories meant to people in ancient times, and offering insight for how we can understand Jesus's story today." (Review from

    Historians are faced with a lack of extra-Biblical evidence for the claims made by Christians about Jesus. (See "The Myth, Madman, or Messiah argument: All too often historical existence of Jesus debate turns into the Myth, Madman, or Messiah argument where the concept that Jesus has to be either a (philosophical) myth, madman, or essentially what the Gospels describe. The key issue is that this really argues for the Jesus of the gospels rather than than the gospel story being inspired by an actual person. The Argumentum ad martyrdom of "Would the Disciples die for a lie?" falls into this category and ignores that there are many examples of people dying or beliefs which turned out to be false, deceptive, or poorly understood (Hong Xiuquan's Taiping Rebellion followers, Jonestown, Heaven's Gate, Branch Davidians, etc) The Skeptics just don't want to be accountable for their sins and Skeptics have blind faith in the words of man are essentially two sides of the same argument that also fall into this category. Here again this is arguing that the Gospel Jesus is a historical person not arguing that the stories were inspired by a quite normal man.""

    Who said history was boring?

  •  My suggestion.... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Bluegeorgia, smartalek

    is to contact Pope Francis and suggest he order all Catholic parishes in the US to address immigration, especially the lone children, in sermons on a specific Sunday.  He doesn't appear shy about pointing out the inconsistencies between calling oneself a christian vs living like one.
    Will only reach a portion of "Christians", but gotta get to Francis before he gets beaten down & silenced by the "Christians" surrounding him, but that's a longer story.....

  •  I wish this weren't true... (0+ / 0-)

    but it is.  All that stuff about turning the other cheek and loving thy neighbor as thyself is totally thrown out the window the moment someone disagrees with their position on issues that have long been resolved.

    I don't care what religion you are.  I don't see the point in judging people for what they believe in.  I will, however, judge people who treat other people abusively and harbor a lack of respect for the rights of others.  

  •  It's hilarious because it shows how far right-w... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    It's hilarious because it shows how far right-wingers have strayed from Jesus' teachings. They got it backwards but many people don't realize and just take their word that they're really representing christian ideals.

  •  According to the cartoon (and yes I get idea it... (0+ / 0-)

    According to the cartoon (and yes I get idea it is getting across), I guess the " My Jesus is better than your Jesus" mentality is still around...

  •  Christian Extremists (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    ajaradom, kirnerpilstime, AnzaSummer

    are no different than the Taliban and the bearded Muslim clerics. It's their way or the highway.

  •  Good cartoon of non-existent God/Guy (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Morgan in Austin, AnzaSummer

    Still waiting for contemporary historical reports of Jesus (meaning the Testaments written 60 years later don't count.)

    Albert So, The Original Socalled Socialist

    by Socalled Socialist on Thu Jul 10, 2014 at 03:06:49 AM PDT

    •  Supposedly Jesus appeared in the clouds over No... (0+ / 0-)

      Supposedly Jesus appeared in the clouds over Normandy. No pics. Guess he's camera shy.

      Really weird thing all the Christian iconography looks like Zeus. Maybe Zeus is roaming the world in disguise again?

    •  Of course they count. Apostle John met, persona... (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      Of course they count. Apostle John met, personally knew and hung out with the guy. So you wait 60 yrs before writing about it, so what. When I'm 90 I might want to document stuff I witnessed at 25, and see no reason why my documentary wouldn't count.

  •  Hobby Lobby and "Boner Pill" Coverage (0+ / 0-)

    It makes sense for the Catholic Church to support "boner pills" because, when used as directed, the end result can be pregnancy, and there's nothing more that the Church likes than a pregnant woman, especially if she's Catholic.  Basically, it's long-term, strategic economic planning. Catholic fetuses turn into Catholic consumers who need to be baptized, receive their first Holy Communion, get Confirmed, get married, go to church every Sunday (and keep the collection baskets full—gotta' pay for the sins of all those pedophile priests somehow!), and, ultimately, get buried. The Church has it's sticky fingers in all of these life events—so, it's in its economic interest to encourage and "sacramentalize" overpopulation.

  •  Sacrilegious - But I LOVE IT! Pointed out on an... (0+ / 0-)

    Sacrilegious - But I LOVE IT! Pointed out on another site that the border town was acting TOTALLY un-Christian. Got read off by more un-Christian Christians! What happened to "live your faith"?

  •  Go where you're needed (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    We need missionaries to bring the word of Jesus to the Christians.

    Or rather, the opposite of poverty is not wealth; the opposite of poverty is justice. Melissa Chadburn

    by MrCanoehead on Thu Jul 10, 2014 at 06:47:09 AM PDT

  •  An imaginary man (0+ / 0-)

    who never lived. Son to a god that never existed. It's easy to see how they can make it appear that the scribblings of a bunch of archaic nomadic tribesmen somehow align perfectly with their own personal beliefs.

    This most recent exhibit of boorish, uncivilized behavior toward innocent, frightened children is beyond the understanding of civilized, logical and compassionate minds. Can we allow them the luxury of believing in myths when the end result is that they terrorize others and destroy the planet on which we all share resources?

  •  Love this cartoon! (0+ / 0-)

    And it is exactly how I am feeling. Although I am very sad that it is the truth. I am horrified that people who call themselves Christians would pick on children. Children!! I think Christians have gotten too involved in the "wealth and prosperity", which is totally against Jesus and instead ignore Christ and the Bible. I guess they took the scripture, "Ask and you shall receive" as a genie when most of the time it is talking about spiritual wealth. Jesus did ride in on a donkey not a noble steed. As a Born Again Christian, I find myself furious and disgusted with my fellow American Christians. It is the very reason I do not go to church. I want us to get together regardless of our beliefs and hold big corporations and politicians responsible. I am tired of how my evil Christians are treating illegal aliens who, for the most part, work their asses off for very little pay.

  •  "Boner pills." (0+ / 0-)

    sounds a lot like a certain Republican House Leader's name.

  •  Death to the Infidels (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Blasphemy.  Death to the infidels.  Oh, I'm sorry, these are not Mohammed cartoons.  Never mind.  Carry on.

  •  Awful cartoons on KOS. (0+ / 0-)

    This did remind me of the overriding question: What sort of gun would Jesus carry?

  •  Mis-titled... (0+ / 0-)

    More accurately, stuff written in a book written by unknowns, not as verifiable as most other printed words in comic books such as Superman, Wonder Woman, etc... or other well known fictional characters such as Sherlock Holmes, etc...

    No historical records of actual characters exist.

  •  Mocumentary (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    You know, mocking peoples' stupid religions (Damn I just did it!) is not going to get them to see the absurdity of their beliefs.

  •  boner pills work (0+ / 0-)

    jesus said love they neighbor but dont get caught

  •  The "Right" do pretty much opposite of He Who i... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, OldRedWolf

    The "Right" do pretty much opposite of He Who is supposed to be their main example, and are too blinded to see it. The question they can never answer: If the adulterous woman had instead been gay man(for instance) would Jesus have thrown stones? Since the answer is No, and since the so-called Christian, so-called right, ADORES stone-throwing, the question alone convicts them utterly. In 10yrs of asking it, I've yet to get an honest, accurate response from any.

    •  Their 'highest god' is political advantage, (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      jbvancouver. Everything else bows before it, even their religious convictions.

      Thank you for this first comment on Daily Kos.

      Welcome to Daily Kos. If you have any questions about how to participate here, you can learn more at the Community Guidelines, the Knowledge Base, and the Site Resource Diaries. Diaries labeled "Open Thread" are also great places to ask. We look forward to your contributions.
      ~~ from the DK Partners & Mentors Team.

      "The opposite of war isn't peace, it's CREATION." _ Jonathan Larson, RENT -9.62, -9.13

      by BeninSC on Sat May 23, 2015 at 04:52:41 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Great Question - Do You Mind If Others Use It? (0+ / 0-)

      I can definitely think of people that I would like to ask that to. And I cannot be sure what they would answer, but I am sure that it would be educational for them to consider how to answer, and it would open the way to a discussion on a topic where otherwise they would consider the matter closed, because the preacher told them so. Open a closed mind and suddenly many things become possible.

  •  That never exixted (0+ / 0-)

    cannot make jokes about anything.

  •  Jesus Comics (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Hmmmm......It's interesting how our culture can see humor and another beheads.  Although, I do think it's asking for trouble to make a comic on another country's diety.  

    •  Be Careful About Sharing That Comic With The Guy (0+ / 0-)

      with a gun rack in the back window of his pickup truck. There are ways of retaliating besides beheading someone, and there are people who "cling to their guns and their religion", as Obama said, who cannot tell the difference between where their religion ends, and where their gun starts.

      I am an active practicing christian, and I am a good marksman, farmer, hunter, fisherman, but I can still tell the difference between my guns and my religion, and I do not use my guns to try to persuade anyone to embrace my religion. In fact, I do not try to persuade anyone to believe what I do, because I have never heard an argument about why someone should believe in a particular religion that was not completely circular and therefore invalid as a logical argument.

      I will tell anyone who asks or expresses interest what I believe. I will try to live my life in accordance with what I believe. Beyond that, it is god's job to move their hearts into belief, or not. He can if anyone can. I am a witness to how god moves in my life. You either block him from your life, or you accept and admit him into yours, which is between you and him. I am called to bear witness. I am not called to convert you. At least, that is my understanding. God does not require the impossible from his followers. God does ask his followers to do what they can do. I can talk about what my belief has done for me, but "your mileage may vary".

  •  How about? (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Pagu, kirnerpilstime

    How about "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven"?
    Guess there aint gonna be too many Senators and Congressmen in Heaven!

    •  Little Known (0+ / 0-)

      detail about that saying. The 'Eye of The Needle' was a gate into Jerusalem. It was a small gate & I believe it took some turns to make it more defensible during conflicts. It was possible to get a camel thru this gate but it was a real bitch. Lots of stuff from the Bible is based on local references that are different now than then.

  •  Convenient, Conservative Christianity. (0+ / 0-)

    There is a very conservative line of theology in which the sayings of Jesus are not nearly as important as the Messiah narrative.  None of that real-life love stuff matters, you see.
    How conveeeenient, as the Church Lady would say.

      This is what happens when religion and politics mix.  Religious ideals are distorted to serve the interests of the rich & powerful.  This has been the history of Christianity since the dark ages, and it outlived its usefulness centuries ago.  It's about time it changed.  The new Pope is not perfect, but still a hopeful sign.

    •  Religion & Politics (0+ / 0-)

      Are hard to keep separate. We copied the Chinese in our separation of Church & State. Lots of Hard, Hard history from Europe should make the lesson perfectly clear but so many people just don't believe in the country & when they have MONEY, well we have that situation now.

  •  What would Jesus really say? (0+ / 0-)

    If Conservatives have in their mind a caricature of who Jesus was, it is equally true that progressives do.  That's because a story, or even memory about somebody, however well memorized, is not that person.   I am quite sure that if we were to meet Jesus we would be surprised at the degree to which he does not conform to the historical or scriptural record of him.  Naturally he wouldn't simply repeat what he said before.  He would have new things to say - a completely new world dynamic to address, and a new and far more educated world public to advise.  Jesus was in a very real way at the forefront of the time in which he lived - he represented something so far beyond what the Jews of his day knew, that a new religion grew up around his highly unusual, but timeless teachings.
    We can assume that if Jesus were to return today he would be at the very forefront of civilization - so far beyond what modern life can conceive and create (while using its terminologies at will) that he would inspire an entirely new way of being.  He would certainly not reinforce the ideologies and prevailing wisdom already in place - which is to say religious fundamentalism, liberalism, communism, conservatism, fascism, or any other ism.  He would present something entirely new, and yet timeless.    
    Interestingly, for around 40 years, a Scottish artist named Benjamin Creme has been reporting on this possibility in a magazine and non profit called Share International.  The media, including the left leaning media, have for years made fun of his prediction that the Christ would return and (among other things) ask human beings to drop their ideologies and excuses and simply share.  I think he deserves another look - particularly since we are now at the bitter end of what commercialization and ideologies can do for civilization.  It has become obvious to many that they are cancers, the worst of them poised to snuff out civilization entirely and turn mankind into a kind of semi-intelligent animal, bent to the will of market forces.  We can do better, and Creme says that Christ will show the way.  I would recommend that anyone who hasn't heard this story check it out.  

  •  Yeah, mythical white jesus (0+ / 0-)

    said that and a lot of other crap.

    Black Jesus was different, but he was also shot in his bed by FBI agents so we'll never know what he'd have said today will we?

  •  pregnancy (0+ / 0-)

    this "boner pills ok, abortion not ok" theme from the right  is definitely not ok with me.  the guys that wanna get hard when they are 65 DO NOT want to be changing diapers at 66 and the 1% impregnators will be just as bummed when the strip comes back blue or pink or straight line or horizontal line.  can we please acknowledge sex for pleasure, DO NOT EVER think a woman is less than, and get on with our lives ?!  Have a baby with a woman who WANTS to have a baby with you!

  •  Je'bus said: (0+ / 0-)

    Huckle Bee won't like that.

  •  Republican "Christians" (0+ / 0-)

    Is Republican Jesus Christ the one who wears a helmet, several belts of bullets and guns plus carries several assault rifles of 1,000 rounds, and pockets full of $1,000 bills aiming at 99% Americans with the Koch brothers and their cronies grinning behind him?

  •  Jesus (0+ / 0-)

    What does anyone really know concerning what Jesus said or did 2000 years ago when there were no recordings of his utterings and deeds except in later day hearsay and myth and history reinterpreted again and again.   We know nothing verifiable about Jesus so for people to wax on about Jesus and his philosophies is pointless---get on with reality and life in the 21st century.

  •  New Rule (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    TV Sterling

    Proposal for a New Rule on Boner Pills:

    Anyone who wants a prescription must first have a Colorectal Ulrasound to determine if their Prostate can support an orgasm.  
    And, during the Ultrasound, their Doctor must read a script written by Congress detailing all the things that Might Go Wrong with their heart OR their Boner while taking these pills.

    The Doctor can use the same Ultrasound wand used for Vaginal ultrasounds.   After all, why spend unnecessary Money on a different one for Men?

  •  You left out..."The meek shall inherit the eart... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    TV Sterling

    You left out..."The meek shall inherit the earth"....."just kidding, fuck the poor"

  •  So Many Crimes & Atrocities (0+ / 0-)

    Have been committed in the name of Jesus; Just add it to the list, The LONG list.

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