According to [Texas Republican congressional nominee Larry Smith], Barack Obama's handling of the child refugee crisis along the Mexican border suggests the president is suffering from Münchausen syndrome by proxy, a rare psychological condition that causes caretakers to abuse kids.No, seriously... what?
"Today, we hear of reports that children are being abused, being used by drug cartels, and even dying," Smith said in a statement on his website last Thursday. "If a high school administrator prompted such mass abuse, that person would quickly be without a job and perhaps even found behind bars. The mental stability of the school administrator would be in question. Is a President of the United States who does such horrific acts deserving of less scrutiny and accountability?…People who intentionally hurt children for attention can be accused of Münchausen Syndrome by Proxy."Damn it, Texas, this has to stop. You can't keep nominating these people. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep track of all the Texas Republican candidates who might end up being dumber than Louie Gohmert? This is pressure I do not need.
All right, so let's parse this. According to Texas Republican number two hundred and forty five, who faces an uphill fight in Texas' Democratic-leaning 34th district, Obama is in league with drug cartels to enable mass abuse of children, which possibly means he has a medical condition that causes him to do that, and he possibly needs to be behind bars. Maybe. Smith has that Gohmertian quality of free-association word saying so popular in the party nowadays, apparently mixed with a medical condition I have named Dr. Keith Ablowism, a fairly common disorder in which you attribute all the bad things happening in the world to Barack Obama's personal mental health.
Wait, this part is good too. Last Sunday he Facebook-explained his position on Muslims to a Muslim-American woman:
If the majority of Muslims are peace-loving then as a well traveled man I should have met one by now. [...] From my experiences overseas to watching, listening, and reading from numerous sources I have come to a conclusion: you are not a muslim.There ya go. Good ol' fashioned Texas Damn Republican, diagnosin' the president and telling the people what religion they are. Oh, you guys find great candidates. Who were the competitors that this guy beat out for the nomination? An old shoe with a scorpion in it? A cigar box collection of potato chips that look like things?