The rise of killer drones abroad continues, as does the rise of fireworks-photographing, beer-delivering drones at home. With a huge variety of uses and a very politicized, lethal start, these robots in the sky promise to be one of the most difficult-to-regulate gadgets in the United States.
If you deliver a beer via drone to a friend, just for fun, that's legal. If someone pays you to deliver a beer via drone, that's illegal and dangerous. Lethal drones carrying missiles that can vaporize a human? Legal. (Although strictly for government use, at least until the NRA expands the Second Amendment further.)
A recent report warned of perpetual warfare thanks to drones. This was released at the same time drones are being put to a wide variety of uses here at home—it seemed like the time for Blasty the Drone to revel in his newfound versatility. While burrito-delivering drones are banned, the Obama administration finally released a shaky, heavily-redacted legal justification for killing an American citizen(s) with a drone.
Seems like Blasty the Drone has a long and successful career ahead of him in the public and private sector. Personally, I wish we could recommission our lethal drones to focus on surveillance like this. Enjoy the cartoon, and keep your eye on the skies! (More links to the news behind the cartoon here.)
[Blasty theme song]
Wull, hi there, drone-lovers!
So, it's been about a year since Obama kinda' sorta' reined in drone-killings.
But thankfully, I don't feel very reined in!
I'm still free as a bird-- a bird that can immediately incinerate you, but still a bird!
If you're a suspected terrorist, an American working with terrorists or an, um, Pakistani wedding party . . . you're in my sights!
And for you worrywarts back home wondering about all that legal Constitutional mumbo jumbo-- don't!
The Most Transparent Administration ever has your legal justification for killing without due process right here!
See? Plain as day!
I guess it's been a little over ten years since I've been blasting-- [blam!]
The government's not really in the business of analyzing whether it's working or not . . . I just blast away, and that works for me! [blam! blam!]
But if you're in the business of taking pictures, checking crops, delivering burritos or beer-- whoa, buddy, that's dangerous!
And is banned until further notice.
You might just kill an American . . . accidentally, that is.
And there's just no telling how many people in Yemen would be incited to join Al Qaeda after hearing of an American drone . . . delivering beers to ice fishermen in Minnesota. ["Allluah Akhbar!"]
So you better leave the droning to the real pros like me. [Blam!] (Oops, sorry 'bout that.)
It's high time you people understood the rules and laws of our wonderful Dronetopia . . .
. . . or someone's liable to get hurt! Hee hee! [blam!]