In my very first diary here at dkos, I wrote a cheeky tongue-in-cheek piece about Anthony Weiner, and his underwear pictures. The diary was a collection of lame jokes about Mr. Weiner's wiener. The community responded to my attempted humour by awarding me the "Thursday's Worst Diary Award".
Which is why I am strategically posting this diary on a Tuesday: "Bad Humours" is a celebration of the lowest form of humour.
Warning: "Bad Humours" contains some "sick" jokes. Reader discretion is advised!
I have noticed that dandelions always appear in clusters. I friend tells me that dandelions hang out in a gay pride.
Two men were talking about their love-making technique. Queried one: “Do you smoke after you make love?” the other replied “I don’t know; I never looked.” The second guy then said to the first: “I'm going to that fund-raising concert for Orgasmic Dysfunction Awareness tonight. Are you interested? The first guy said “I'm interested, but I can't come.”
This girl says she knows me from the Vegetarian club, but I never met herbivore. I always thought being vegetarian is a missed steak.
Seinfeld: “What's with all the jokes about potatoes?” I myself think that potato jokes are appealing.
At the parking lot: Frog parking only; all others will be toad.
Joke of the day at the Royal Weather Channel: “looks like reign”.
Miles has a guide dog who tells me “I can see for Miles”.
Little known fact: Renee Descartes loved prostitutes, and would frequently be seen at public gatherings followed by his paid female companions. When asked about this, he said “Mais oui: Descartes always goes before de whores.”
And my favorite: After college Patricia Wax got a job as a teller at the local bank. One day a toad entered the bank and approached Patricia saying “My name is Tommy Jagger and I'd like to take out a loan for $50,000”. It not everyday that an amphibian went to a bank for a loan, and while gathering her composure, Ms. Wax managed to stammer out “Why yes sir. Do you have any collateral?” At which point the toad replied “I've got this”, pointing to a small glass elephant figurine. Patricia was feeling a little freaked out by now, and decided she should get some direction from her supervisor. Excusing herself from the toad, Patricia walked over to her supervisor's office, and told the story to Senior Manager Mr. Roland: “There's a toad out there, and he says his name is Tommy Jagger and he wants a $50,000 loan. He's putting up a small glass elephant as collateral (she shows him the figurine). I have no idea what this is - what should I do?” to which her supervisor said: “It's a knick-knack, Patty Wax. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.”