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Ok, let's try this again...what do Feminists REALLY mean by "equality?"

I think there is a huge misunderstanding of what "equal" means.

We are equals in as far as we have certain inalienable rights as human beings. For example, every man, woman, and child has the right not to be touched by other people if they do not want to be, to be paid equally for the same job, the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty, etc.

However, the issues and how a man or a woman is affected by them are NOT equal, and you can't treat them as such because that would be disastrous.  

The battleground of abortion for example is far more of a life or death struggle for women. Men might be really, really, upset and grieving over abortion, but they will never have to worry about losing their rights to their bodies or to make decisions regarding their personal healthcare over it. That isn't to say that the feelings men about abortion are not valid or not worthy of being heard...just that there is no equal sweeping answer that crosses both genders. Get it?

You don't see girls being kidnapped and pressed into military service, but you do see them being kidnapped and sold off as wives. Both issues have to be addressed and handled in different manners. They are not equal issues, even though they are equal human rights violations.

9 out of 10 rape victims are female. That doesn't mean you ignore the one man/boy in favor of the women/girls.  It means you go, “Hmmm! I wonder why the majority of sexual violence seems to be male against female. Why is that and what can we do about it?” And while those women are being compassionately listened to, you speak with the male victim and find out what happened to him and help him too…because he’s likely dealing with unique problems and challenges regarding his rape that the women don’t because he’s male. We would totally be remiss as compassionate human beings to try to treat him like a woman after such a severe violation of his being…He deserves his own safe space and talk time to discuss what he’s going through and what it’s like to be a male rape survivor in male gender culture.

Equal human rights violation, no equal answers.

Want more examples? Here you go:

Men don't usually fear walking down the street while women are constantly on their guard.

Women are not pressed into drafts, men have had to flee their homes or resign themselves to an early death in war.  

Women are damaged by slut shaming. Men are not.  

Men are told to "man up" and not cry. Women are not.

See what I'm saying? There’s no “equal” solutions, but everyone deserves their equal chance to be heard.

Feminism to me is defined as "Equality of the sexes with a focus on specifically women's issues." I am a very strong supporter of men having their OWN masculinist movement to partner with ours to discuss the serious issues that face their gender (such as the damaging effects of being forced to shutter their emotions, circumcision, the violence issues, and so on) with women helping as their allies just as men are helping us as our allies. They are starting to get it, but it’s getting drowned and shuttered out by hate groups like MRA’s.

Because there is no such thing as any kind of social movement that does not have their share of hateful individuals misusing it as their personal ego gratification. We just have to move past them and get to the heart of these matters.

I've said this for years and I’ll say it again, this isn't a case of preferential treatment where someone is preventing you from getting your "fair share." If women happen to be more vocal about their problems affecting their gender, then the answer isn't to barge into their's to create your own in your own space. When you come crashing into a discussion of women's issues and go, "Enough of that, what about MEN?!" you're simply being rude and interrupting, not making people inclined to listen to you back.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (6+ / 0-)

    "Never underestimate how willing people are to look stupid simply for the chance to open their mouths." Blog: Facebook: Twitter:

    by LoriRose on Thu Jul 17, 2014 at 11:43:51 AM PDT

  •  Good diary. This especially: (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    sethtriggs, NancyWH
    If women happen to be more vocal about their problems affecting their gender, then the answer isn't to barge into their's to create your own in your own space. When you come crashing into a discussion of women's issues and go, "Enough of that, what about MEN?!" you're simply being rude and interrupting, not making people inclined to listen to you back.

    "It ain't so much the things we don't know that get us in trouble. It's the things we know that ain't so." (Artemus Ward)

    by Silencio on Thu Jul 17, 2014 at 12:54:08 PM PDT

  •  Thank you. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    When I saw where you were going, I realized these were distinctions I have struggled to put into words myself, at times.

    I'm too mentally tired to put "deep thoughts" into words right now, but this certainly brings into the arena whole lot of angles that need discussing in future diaries.  Silencio did a great kick-off of a series that just keeps blooming.  If you haven't read any of them yet, and you have time, I would highly recommend it.

    I have also found an organic group of commenters has grown around the diaries who want to have open feminist discussions among men and women here.  If you were one of them, and I just didn't pick up on your name, I apologize.  Hey, I have an Old Lady card now, and I'm not afraid to use it!  


    "The light which puts out our sight is darkness to us." Thoreau

    by NancyWH on Thu Jul 17, 2014 at 05:25:59 PM PDT

  •  Sorry to have missed this when it first came out. (0+ / 0-)

    But yes, you have just said, very precisely, one of the things we keep having a bit of trouble keeping straight. On my way back to read your previous diaries, and following you to make sure I don't miss any more.

    mouseover the bar (I'm practicing for DK5)

    by serendipityisabitch on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 02:33:04 PM PDT

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