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This is my first diary.  I decided to create this profile because the diaries of Puck Goodfellow inspire me and I can no longer continue to be this angry and stay silent. To my friends that will sound ridiculous. Silent? Really? Well I have been except for the occasional outburst on my Facebook timeline and my tirades over dinner with my husband. I've been angry, so very angry that I can't sit still sometimes. It feels like the anger I had in my youth when I constantly fought the system of inequities to scratch out a life and survive.

I was one of the unfortunates who had come from a family that struggled. They were Irish Catholic Republicans, which was a real oddity at that time. They believed that hard work would always prevail. The cruel twist of my parent’s fate was that the very people they voted for were the ones that tore down all of their hard work till it was nothing but ash and oppressive life long debt.

My father inherited his boyhood home which put a struggling salesman and his family in the middle of a white upper middle class neighborhood full of lawyers, doctors, and politicians who’s wives didn’t work. Their children’s cloths came from Neiman Marcus and mine came from the Sears and Roebuck Catalog. We were always the outcasts everywhere we went, even in our church because my father had married my mother, a divorcée.

I was even more an outcast than my family because I was a freethinking, questioning, intelligent tomboy who didn't accept “you can’t because you are a girl”. I was tough and fierce and earned my way into being one of the boys when I was a kid. I believed if I proved I was equal I would be. I believed in working hard, in confidence being the key, and I believed in the empowerment of fighting for and proving your worth. I challenged convention and refused to lose my self to marry well. I had the audacity to want to be free. All of these values and beliefs were as American as it gets, but these were the ideals of men and were unacceptable in women.

The church tried to destroy my spirit and pollute my faith with their assertion that not only was I not equal, but I was unfaithful because I asked questions. I was not a good Catholic because I did not blindly accept what I was taught and fall in line. In Catholic school the nuns asked, “Where did I learn such a heathen attitude? “My father!” I answered. My father had taught me to read everything, to appreciate art and literature, and to think for myself. He had taught me that the world isn’t fair and if you wanted to be treated fairly you had to fight for it. Without realizing it my father had taught me to think like a man. The church didn’t like it and they told him so. Then my father sat me down and had the “you need to behave like a lady” speech. The very person who had lifted me up betrayed me.

The more I went out into the world the more I heard I wasn’t equal. No amount of hard work could change the fact that I was a woman. I had no interest in conforming, but I also intended to survive. I compromised. I turned a liability into an asset and played the system with a bat of my eyelashes watching for any chance to pull myself up. However the best chances always had an emotional and spiritual cost attached. I married my first love, but we were young and stupid and when my son was born everything changed. Every choice I made effected him, so I sold out. I left love, married security, and ended up in hell. I became trapped in an abusive relationship and convinced myself I could endure it for my son’s future. I wound up in the very situation I had sworn to avoid and I became beaten down by it. I walked a very dark road for a time.  Eventually I pulled free of that nightmare, but at a very steep cost. I lived in poverty or just one foot out of it with minimum wage part time (couldn’t get full time) jobs for the next 20 years.

Today I have a certain level of prosperity I never believed I could achieve. Maturity calmed the rage and I learned to make healthier, less tragic compromises.  The fear is always there that one misfortune; one turn of luck could take it all away. I have something more to protect now and I’ve tended to spit fire at home and quietly smolder outside so I don’t upset the delicate balance that keeps me just above the minimum wage abyss. I know I can survive anything, but now that I have had something more, survival will never again be enough.

Standing on this delicate edge I see a country declining to third world levels of poverty. I see a government no longer run by the people and an economy manipulated by the super rich which is trying to push more and more of its citizens into that abyss. I find myself less willing to put my own world at risk to stand up for what’s right. I’ve become more likely to fall into the spiritual degradation of judging other’s just below me on the economic ladder to make myself feel safer. I was even against, for while, the idea of raising the minimum wage. There was a fear that it would diminish my achievement if the minimum wage were closer to my wage. “No! I worked so hard and suffered so long to be above minimum wage and now they want to pull me back down”. See what years of wage slavery and poverty does? It warps you. If you finally break free you run from it, leaving everyone else behind hoping to stay away from it’s gravitational pull because once it knows your name, it never forgets. Instead of wanting to pull everyone up you push against them for leverage to keep yourself from falling back in.
However, my passionate sense of social justice has reawakened the fighter. I might not have the bite I used to, but my bark has more power than ever before.

I’m angry because I care about the ones I shared the struggle with. I’m angry because I fear for the future of young women. I’m angry that what little freedom women won for themselves is being attacked. Those fat white f@#$ers are pissed that for a while we had them on the ropes. For a while it looked like equality was within reach and now they think that they can push us back down “into our place” without a fight.
Am I scared to lose it all if I fight? Yes. Of course I am, but the reality is I could lose it all anyway. One thing my struggle has taught me is that achieving something at the cost of your conscience and humanity is a poison that will blacken your spirit and eat your soul till you hate yourself and everyone around you.
There are limits to what I can do. I can’t fight the boys like I used to, but I can be a mighty warrior with a powerful pen.

12:58 PM PT: Wow. The positive response is really appreciated. I want to add that I have nothing against men. Really. I have some amazing guy friends who are champions for equality and a few who, by their own experiences, do understand my struggle. I will never discount another's struggle or diminish it in comparison to my own. Blowing out someone else's flame to make mine look brighter is not how I roll.  

Mon Jul 21, 2014 at 10:00 AM PT: Thank you so much to all of the people who commented and shared their stories as well. Its overwhelming. This diary was even listed on the daily recommended email. Holy Fricken' wow! I look forward to posting another diary. I feel very encouraged to continue writing and I'm pretty sure I already know what I'm going to write about based on some of the comments.

I would also like to say that I know there will always be some haters. However, for anyone who really wants to make a difference in women's issues at the political level, we have to let go of hate toward men. Really we do. Hate will accomplish nothing but more hate. If you really read my post you will see that other than my expletive about the establishment, there is no hate. Only righteous anger. Hate must be left outside our fight if it is going to accomplish anything.

Thank you so much for reading. I will not be able to comment further so that I have time to write something new.

Thank you soo very much for your support.

Originally posted to Boudicas Child on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 10:30 AM PDT.

Also republished by Sluts.

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Comment Preferences

    •  Hi B.C. I have a daughter just (15+ / 0-)

      like you. Your story and her's could be carbon copies.
      I love her for her spirit and for surviving the dark places where she's been. Life has a way of shoveling a lot of sh*t at you until you come to believe you deserve no more than to live in the deep stinking pile.
      She has finally pulled herself out of the morass(I hope)with a lot of help along with her 13 yr. old daughter. She is presently in therapy with a good councilor and their future looks brighter. Along with a decent paying job.
      We are all concerned about the idiots in congress who would like to stuff our women back into the 1800's by the fear of getting castigated by the EXTREMIST religious right who in the stark light of reasoned inquiry are no better than their counterparts in the middle east. Hatred for the "other" drives them all to unspeakable acts.
      I will send your post onto my girls, it will become an inspiration to them.
      Good luck in all your future endeavors,my heart goes out to you!

      •  1800s?? More like the 1200s!! (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        cspivey, kittie
      •  Truly! (8+ / 0-)

        The Religious Right Wing are so righteous that they are indistinguishable from the Taliban and Al Qaida!

        Religious fanaticism knows no boundaries.  At their core, they are all the same.

        Women scare them the most!

        Sometimes, you need a sensa uma!

        by HashHoward on Sun Jul 20, 2014 at 09:50:44 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Ain't is something... (6+ / 0-)

          That the Republicans who tell us to fear the extremists, have sided with the Tea Party extremists?

          What makes them think extremism is only bad if it comes from outside?

          Everything is part of a system. Some people believe that system is science, some believe it is G-d. I believe science is part of G-d's system.

          by Anna Wise on Sun Jul 20, 2014 at 02:09:14 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  This is... (0+ / 0-)

            pure "old world" religion. The enemy is always the ones "outside" who are "different", and its not just sometimes necessary, but even, in some interpretations (which just goes to show that you can find passages in their favorite book to support almost anything), actually expected, and godly, to lie, cheat and steal from those that are not "true believers", i.e., the "Gentile".

            While I don't want to insult the author's world view, its kind of hard not to do so, when pointing out the unfortunate fact that the "nice" Christians, who don't dive into the sewers of their holy book, looking for advantage for themselves, and condemnation for others, far more often resemble humanists, or the like, than they do the religious. Its hardly a surprise, to me, or that failing to see it lends itself to repeatedly picking allies who make promises that they uphold certain ideals, with one breath, then shake the hands of those on the step above in the next, while those shake the hands of the ones above, until one's allies, allies, allies, ally is shaking hands with the very extremists one would prefer to disassociate themselves from.

            Too many people seem unable to take a single logical step - leaders are not perfect, and while one can praise them for what they can get right, they must also recognize when they fail. On my side of the faith vs. non-faith we have the same problem. Those strictly against religion, for what they consider good reasons, will, even while praising those reasons, and the people who present them, turn around and defend attitudes and ideas that are indistinguishable from some of those held by the extremists on the other side, anti-feminism (while complaining of a version that is so full of straw that its still not only undried, but not even harvested), misogyny that is no different than that of some priest crying about how women are "out of their proper place", and even irrational anger, no different in its madness than that expressed towards children fleeing to the US from bloodshed in South America, towards Muslims (though, I admit, no one has stood up and suggested we simply nuke those countries yet, to "solve the problem").

            Some will even go so far as to claim that my sides sole issue should be with whether or not the find gods believable, and that all else is useless, as though its belief in a god that makes some people attack gays, not words on the page of a book, which some fool endlessly rants about, and that all will be right with the world, if the book remains, but belief in its god does not. Such people wish to do nothing to make the world better. They are, almost to a tee, the classic argument of a disbeliever - someone that rejects one idea, and has literally no other thought in their head, other than rejection of that idea. And, they are offended beyond all comprehension that someone would dare question the purity of the leaders, like Dawkins, or Harris, or claim they are imperfect, and practically start looking for fire wood, and a something to tie you to, if you dare suggest its not enough, that liberal causes matter, and that progress is only made through change, not adherence to some strict ideal. The same reaction half the churches out there have to the other "liberal" half, for rejecting supposed unchangeable ideas and traditions.

            I can only shake my head at the willingness of the self claimed wolves, who are out to change the world, to donning the vestments of sheep, so they need not actually be pressed to continue to think past the point where they decide that one bad idea, once abandoned, is sufficient, and no progress beyond that need be considered, or pursued, or how it seems to happen, to the majority, at all levels, once satisfaction sets in that they hold the high ground, and the world will thus, one day, reflect what they think they see. The church, as an entity, can't see it. The "leaders" of the atheist movement, or at least the part of the movement that keeps booking them, while sidelining others, can't see it. Both are so certain, that the world sweeps past them, and then offends them, by showing that the change they have made is not enough, and more is needed.

            Both keep converging on something with less certainty of simple solutions, less dogma, and the realization that nothing is truly, "divinely inspired" (or its material equivalent).

            Yet, there are always more people willing to see the advantage they gain from a stance, as long as they deny, ignore, and simply can't see, the flaws. But, denial... lets you create heroes, saints and martyrs, even when there are none, to be had which is so much more useful to a cause. It hardly matters even if the one making them is your side, or the enemies, as long your side believes the are worshiped by someone.


      Vote wisely for the progressives who are holding out a hand to help you on the train to equality.  Become smart enough to NOT vote against your own best interests.  Our voice is our freedom from judgment by old white men and the tea party who has become convinced you're after what they have been given -- also by others who cared enough to fight for them.

    •  BC . . . ANGRY WOMAN (16+ / 0-)

      Thank you for this diary.  It speaks about my struggle as well, the same struggle women always have.  You said it perfectly!  

      I'm glad to see your anger out.  It outs my own anger and frustration.  

      I'm guessing your husband is supportive.  Mine is very much so, even though it is not always apparent.  

      The battle will go on, because we need to fight it always, no matter what!!!


    •  Way too many women share your story (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      When I went to college in the 60s we were told that a college degree meant you would always have a "good" job.  Very wrong.  Even after a Master's Degree I could barely support myself.

      I divorced up my 2 husbands and really suffered poverty being single.  Course, instead of putting up with stressful husbands, I put up with stressful jobs.

      The only thing that saved me was what my parents taught me about being extremely frugal.  

      And what is saving me at 66 yrs-old is that I have money from my parents estate.  Not that I'm rich, but at least I can pay my bills.  I've found a nice man who understands why I don't want to marry and actually shares all the work.

      I found that after I no longer worked, life was much less stressful and I could actually enjoy my life.  It's been along time coming and I hope to live a long life to enjoy this peace.


      •  I also attended college in the 60s.... (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        BLUE Skies in Red Hell, klj, aybayb

        I was never encouraged by parents or school counselors to do anything but become a secretary, nurse, teacher, or homemaker. At my 50th HS reunion, I was not surprised at the vast number of women who became teachers, but it also surprised me that some had the courage to choose other paths when there was no encouragement for going in a different direction.

        In college, all women had to be in their dorms studying from 7-9pm.  They could go out at 9, but had to be back by 10pm. Male students had no hours at all. Women had to live in campus dorms. Men could live in apartments off campus. Women had to eat at the college dining hall. Men could make their own meals or eat elsewhere.

        A female friend was caught in a boy's apartment ---they were just talking in the living room. She was suspended for a semester and when she returned, a morals charge was put on her record, so she could never teach in our state.  What happened to the boy? Nothing!

        I'm sure I wouldn't have minded the strict rules if they had been applied to all.

        So when the women's movement came along, I became an activist.  My husband was a strong supporter of the women's movement ---in fact he was the one who sparked my initial interest.  So there are good strong men out there who aren't afraid of strong women.

        In the late 90s the school where I taught was celebrating Gender Equity Day.  In our homerooms teachers were supposed discuss that subject.  Most of the students didn't get it because women's equality issues had improved so much that those students didn't know what it used to be like, so I told them my college stories from above and then they got it.  

        But it just so happened the entire 9th grade class attended a live performance of "The Taming of the Shrew" that day. It had been scheduled long before the Gender Equity Day was announced, but what a play to attend on that day!

        There is still work to do. If women are in a better place, we have to work to keep it that way.  And if we ever feel complacent, we must look around to see what other groups haven't achieved any kind of equality in this world and fight for them, too.

  •  The recent essays by a few pundits (111+ / 0-)

    warning the upper classes that the pitchforks are about to come out also serves as a wake-up call to those sleeping in their poverty, believing it is of their own making. People are hearing more about income inequality and why it exists and how it was intentionally brought into being.

    You don't fight alone. Yours is not a lone voice. Keep fighting the good fight. Here, on dKos, you may find that not everyone is sympathetic or as involved in your causes as you, but you will find kindred souls in no small measure. This is a very, very big tent, our grass roots entangled no matter what our favorite causes may be. We tend to agree with the thrust of Liberalism or Progressivism. And when we fight, though we don't always realize it, we fight as a family. (Being Irish, as I am, you may well know what I'm talking about when I say "fight as a family".)

    Glad to hear your voice. Please lend it to many various discussions. It's a good one.

    Lead with Love. Forgive as a reflex.

    by Gentle Giant on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 11:08:45 AM PDT

  •  Rock on BC, rock on! (23+ / 0-)

    I love your passion, your spirit and your total grounding...

    Just be excellent to everyone, OK?

    by pittgreg on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 11:27:27 AM PDT

  •  Cheers, Mate! Welcome aboard. n/t (17+ / 0-)

    "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." - George Carlin

    by Most Awesome Nana on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 11:36:41 AM PDT

  •  Welcome. Let us sharpen our pens together. n/t (14+ / 0-)

    Information is abundant, wisdom is scarce. ~The Druid.
    ~Ideals aren't goals, they're navigation aids.~

    by FarWestGirl on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 11:43:52 AM PDT

  •  Outstanding diary! (30+ / 0-)

    Your story reflects my own in many ways.

    Please keep writing and making your voice heard.  It may not seem like much, but in the way Puck Goodfellow inspired you, you will inspire others.

    I look forward to reading your future diaries.

    If only my uterus could shoot bullets, then it wouldn't need regulation

    by TigerMom on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 11:48:54 AM PDT

  •  loose (8+ / 0-)

    Please, PLEASE use the correct word- "lose it all".
    Loose means not tight, "is the collar loose"?.  Loose is wrong wrong wrong!
    Love the diary otherwise.

  •  Remember overnight Demi Moore made it OK to show (17+ / 0-)

    your pregnant belly. And that was a very big deal. And has been completely ignored.

    Things can go on and on and on and on, then change in the blink of an eye. Hinging on some strange little thing. Some thing that no one ever thought of before.

    Child forgotten in car? -- Use open source E-Z Baby Saver -- Andrew Pelham, 11yo inventor E-Z Baby Saver

    by 88kathy on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 12:49:10 PM PDT

    •  DON'T Forget the Baby! (5+ / 0-)

      "Child forgotten in car? -- Use open source E-Z Baby Saver -- Andrew Pelham, 11yo inventor E-Z Baby Saver"


      One commentator on TV suggested that, when she has a child in the back seat, she always takes off her shoes and drives barefoot.  It's not very often that someone gets out of her/his car forgetting to put his/her shoes on.

      Just a memory jogger.

      "You go to war and you could lose your heart, your mind, your arms, your legs - but you cannot win. The soldiers don't win." -- Anonymous Soldier

      by aybayb on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 01:41:50 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Cars in parking lots are death traps. I wish we (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        silverfoxcruiser, cspivey

        could come up with a way to make them vent.

        Till then. EZ Baby Saver  --- or shoes seems the best way.

        I would like to send one of these EZ Baby savers home from the hospital with all the new babies. I suggested my grandson make it his Eagle Scout project.

        Child forgotten in car? -- Use open source E-Z Baby Saver -- Andrew Pelham, 11yo inventor E-Z Baby Saver

        by 88kathy on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 04:57:56 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Good Luck with... (0+ / 0-)

          ...your invention, Andrew Pelham!  You have a very smart grandson, 88Kathy

          "You go to war and you could lose your heart, your mind, your arms, your legs - but you cannot win. The soldiers don't win." -- Anonymous Soldier

          by aybayb on Mon Jul 21, 2014 at 12:17:18 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

      •  Except that driving barefoot is dangerous ... (0+ / 0-)
        •  that's a fallacy (0+ / 0-)

          driving barefoot is no more dangerous than with foot gear.  what makes it dangerous is not having your shoes well enough away from the driving area/pedals so as not to allow them to become entangled with or up behind the brake.  if you drive barefoot, make sure your shoes are well out of the way from where you would move your feet.  taking shoes off to use as a prompt not to forget  your most precious cargo is quite an excellent idea...(i'm talking barefoot here, not with slippery socks/stockings on.)  of course, you are free to find other ways to prompt memory.  tie something on your door that you have to touch as you get out.  put something in the trunk that you need before you walk away from the vehicle.

          •  Thanks for explaining... (0+ / 0-)

            ...the rationale behind the barefoot driving, MacGhillemoire.  Thanks, too for your very useful and sensible suggestions.

            "You go to war and you could lose your heart, your mind, your arms, your legs - but you cannot win. The soldiers don't win." -- Anonymous Soldier

            by aybayb on Mon Jul 21, 2014 at 12:21:10 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

  •  Badass first diary! Welcome! (27+ / 0-)

    The power of your words, and the emotion that compels you to write them, is inspiring.  I'm a guy, so I'm on the other side of the privilege chasm you've been trying to climb out of your entire life, and I can only say:  you're awesome.  I can't truly appreciate what it's like to climb that slope given that I've never been at its bottom, but (I'd like to hope) some of my own life-experiences have given me some meaningful perspective on being outcast.

    In any case, I love your imagery, your intensity, and your passion.  Hope to hear you speak in many discussions going forward.  Solidarity!  And again, welcome!

    Not all people are human; not all humans are people.

    by Jon Sitzman on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 01:26:06 PM PDT

  •  Welcome (9+ / 0-)

    And like they say in the jazz world, "stay cool . . . don't change."

    Aren't they ever going to, you know, do their jobs?

    by thenekkidtruth on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 01:27:36 PM PDT

  •  Been there, done that. Don't you wish they (19+ / 0-)

    would have given us the damn T-shirt?

    Yours is a wonderful diary that echoes much of my own history. Welcome to Daily Kos! I look forward to reading more of your work.

    Oh oh, I hope THAT doesn't end up in someone's sig line! :) - kos

    by Susan Grigsby on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 01:29:24 PM PDT

  •  love your diary! (19+ / 0-)

    I was there in different ways, and climbed up in similar ways.  Now I have a good enough retirement and I feel very lucky.  At the same time I can't forget lately that the patriarchy could sweep it all away in an instant.  We are going backwards in very scary ways.  I wouldn't want to be young now.  I hope there is a lot of bravery out there to hold the fort for all of us.  

    Your writing is wonderful.  Please keep doing it here.  

  •  This (39+ / 0-)
    Blowing out someone else's flame to make mine look brighter is not how I roll.

    This should be put on coffee mugs, T-shirts and bumper stickers.

    It should be a rallying cry of all progressive people of the world.

    Great diary.  Thanks for posting/sharing.

  •  Boadicea is Bodacious! (7+ / 0-)

    You have to make hard choices to take the road to freedom. The road is always there but you have to make the decision to take it. I salute your executive abilities.

    Libertarian? Libertine!

    by Jake Bodhi on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 01:46:28 PM PDT

  •  Welcome (7+ / 0-)

    You certainly read like someone who needs to  be here and pitching (or punching).

  •  I'm glad you chose Boudicca (however you spell (18+ / 0-)

    her name) as your namesake and for the picture,  because as the last pre-Roman British monarch, who refused to let herself be corrupted or to give up fighting the invading Romans, she's a symbol of strength, righteousness and fearlessness. We need to remember that there have always been those who didn't knuckle under, and follow their example.

  •  Fáilte, Siol Buadaca! (28+ / 0-)

    I wouldn't worry about the women of my (Millenial) generation.

    They tend to think for themselves and have very, very little patience for being told that they have a "place" which is anything other than equal.

    The women of my generation have more college degrees than the men of my generation.

    The women of my generation support the ERA, (if they know about it at all) and I think that the hobby lobby decision is likely to open up a huge push to see that finally passed.

    Thank you for spending your life fighting, laying the groundwork for the equality that my generation is struggling to keep.

    Know that we're not going to let a bunch of old white dudes keep the Pyrrhic victory they won in the hobby lobby decision.

    An Fhirinn an aghaidh an t'Saoghail.

    by OllieGarkey on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 01:59:25 PM PDT

    •  I do worry about my Millenial students (10+ / 0-)

      All the things you say are true of them, but it is true too that so many of the women are struggling with a weight of internalized stereotypes that they don't know how to get free of.  It hits a little later than you might expect. As it did for BC.

      Babylon system is the vampire... ~Bob Marley

      by sfinx on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 09:28:15 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Women in my generation are working on that. (3+ / 0-)

        I worry too.

        I worry a lot about body image, and other issues. Those are mostly the internalized stereotypes. What a woman should look like, rather than what a woman is allowed to do. That, the image issue, is going to be a big struggle for my generation.

        But my generation is a more accepting, less cliquish, inclusive generation. We're working on it.

        An Fhirinn an aghaidh an t'Saoghail.

        by OllieGarkey on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 11:06:48 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  We Need to Hear More (5+ / 0-)

          about Millenials and Xers. Please write a diary about how differently these generations see the world.  We read so much here about the nasties in power or who are trying to gain power and not all of them are old white men.  So write about the way you young people think, it gives us hope for the future.  We need it!

          I hear how these "old white men" will die off, but I'm married to an old white man (and am old, too).  We just saw our doctor yesterday, and my old whitey has more than a couple of decades left in him, according to our doc.  My hubby's had a heart attack, a cardiac arrest, a quintuple bypass, a pacemaker/defibrilator implant, two lung collapses, prostate cancer and a suspicious tumor on his kidney that didn't turn out to be cancerous----and he has more than 2 decades left in him?  Obviously, modern medicine is doing a great job of keeping old white men alive.  But, REJOICE, he's a liberal!
          Unfortunately, a lot aren't, and that scares me.

          So tell me more about the generations coming behind us because I need reassurance.

          Enjoying the Age of Aquarius so far?

          by sendtheasteroid on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 03:53:58 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  I'll do that. (2+ / 0-)

            An Fhirinn an aghaidh an t'Saoghail.

            by OllieGarkey on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 04:19:34 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

          •  Don't take it for granted that he has that much (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:

            time.  I hope he does.  My husband overcame many odds to live past a massive heart attack, stroke and kidney failure.  He lived 8 years.  When he died, on July 7, I thought I would be ready for it when it came, as he had been near it so many times.  I wish I could count the number of times doctors gave him at most a year.  Then this trip to the hospital, where he was very sick, but not as sick as other times, I thought a few days, he gets a tune up, he comes home like usual.  It didn't work out that way.  He was sicker than anyone knew.  He at least is no longer in pain, and he was in pain that last few days.  He too was a liberal.  He encouraged me to do anything I chose, always backed me up.  So treasure your man, and take good care of him and yourself, and I hope you do have those decades ahead.  

            •  I'M VERY SORRY (0+ / 0-)

              I'm so sorry that you didn't have as much time with your husband as you expected.  Mine is still going amazingly strong 14 yrs after his heart stoppage.  There was less than a 5% chance of survival rate for that event alone.

              I hope you had many happy years together before his health failed. I wish you could have had many more.

              My husband may be liberal, but that doesn't naturally lead to him being a greatly supportive husband.  He's basically a good guy, but we're not exactly soul mates.  He's sedentary---I'm active.  He loves golf---I find it boring.  I'm a water lover---he's been in the ocean two or three times in 8 yrs.  And he can be a grumpy old man who doesn't want to go anywhere other than the golf course. So it's not so much treasuring him as coexisting as peacefully as possible.  We share a love of animals, so we definitely agree on enjoying our cats.  Oh, we also agree on helping our grandson through college, so we share some common goals, and that helps.

              I think I'm prepared to be alone.  I won't know for sure, until it happens, but we've talked about the financial side of life and I make sure that I can handle the yard work and everything.  We have a good support group here.  That's about all I can do, but it doesn't look like I'll be facing it anytime soon.  I do very much appreciate your concern and I wish you well working through your very recent loss.

              Enjoying the Age of Aquarius so far?

              by sendtheasteroid on Mon Jul 21, 2014 at 01:27:48 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

      •  internalized stereotypes (2+ / 0-)

        Your use of the expression "internalized stereotypes" seems to imply that women's problems are merely the result of them absorbing the stereotypical crap that's imposed on them, which, to my mind at least, completely ignores the fact that they are frequently both judged and treated according to these stereotypes, particularly by men, but also by far too many women.

        •  True, But (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:

          the internalized stereotypes and external forces can be equally brutal.  So it's an inner battle that must be won FIRST in order to withstand the outward one.  If you buy into the gunk you've unknowingly absorbed, you have very little self-assurance to counteract what comes at you from outside forces.

           At some point, I decided I didn't care what other people thought of me, and that one decision was like a coat of armor.  Unfortunately, I know a lot of women who never manage to make that decision.  Men in this country have a similar if less intense version of this pressure.

          I live in a vacation destination, and I love to see people wearing swimsuits that they would not wear, if they were  body self-conscious.  Good for them!

          Enjoying the Age of Aquarius so far?

          by sendtheasteroid on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 03:40:16 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

    •  Wait---what???? (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      silverfoxcruiser, allegretto

      While it may be true of Uni students--and I FERVENTLY hope that this is TRUE---what I see in the hinterland is more women who haven't a CLUE about any of this.

      They are not only uninformed many of them are willfully uninformed.  They don't WANT to know as it might upset their little world view.  To a large extent they live in a different era--one about two centuries back---in that they allow the "men" in their lives to tell them whats what---if these guys even CARE.  They are by and large "opposed" to freedom of choice---altho the majority of them find themselves at one point or another pregnant and not really "happy" about it.  Some do get abortions--which of course are OK in THEIR case's---but they then have a weird mindset (not helped by "Mom Groups" on line)  that later lids are "affected" by this--as in--if you had an abortion when you were 16 and then at age 23 or so have another kid and that kid is autistic or similar--than the ABORTION IS TO BLAME and by extension--mom is to blame.  

      Notice basic ignorance of science and genetics etc.

      By and large also these women base their rants on hysterics heard on ---to my knowledge---radio and the Net.  Somehow no one ever taught them to THINK and they did a fine job of it!

      In our tiny cow town I have noticed that almost ALL of the girls who did NOT move away and go to college have at least two kids often times more.  They are often involved in serial relationships--often very messy ones.  They have low wage jobs if they work at all.    A very few of the girls (and boys)  who left for school have come back but most are GONE.  Some do marry but more often than not they are (I speak of 30 and unders)  not married or just thinking of it.  

      This leads to an odd "Brain Drain"  as the kids who COULD improve the area and move farming and the areas industries into the real world are GONE.  I know mothers who almost FORCE their kids out---to "prevent" them from actually staying here!  Of course if you just pass thru or vacation here you would think it is the perfect Eden.  No where is but this is not bad!  

      But over generations--and not too many generations either--our school Census has dropped to ONE HALF  what it was when my kids were in school--means that from a "high" graduation class of 76 when my youngest graduated in 2006 til now we have a 30 kids PER GRADE LEVEL.  Not in a CLASS;  the ENTIRE grade has that number!  We have almost no professionals with kids in the school;  the ones who can afford to remove their kids to private schools in HS (and the REST of us are FORCED to pay to BUS them there---even out of state!!!)  and of course "services" are not that easy to come by if needed.  

      Now--I know this sounds in some ways a "First World Problem" but---

      IF we are raising a generation of--especially women--who know NOTHING of the world;  who don't WANT to know anything;  and whose kids will be taught that the world is like what their mothers believe---How can we CHANGE this????

    •  Hobby Lobby is incredible, foolish ... (0+ / 0-)

      right-wing extremist judicial activism.  It undermines a host of long-standing, clearly-established legal principles.

      Remember, it is a First Amendment decision!  It is based on the free exercise of religion clause of that amendment.

      Years ago, certain peyote-smoking Native American religious practitioners sought relief from criminalization of peyote.  The Supreme Court rejected their First Amendment free exercise claim.  There was to be no "accommodation" for peyote-smoking Native Americans because the criminalization of peyote was a law of general applicability not aimed at interfering with Native American religious practices.

      In other words, I guess, the Court saw the risk of arrest and incarceration from practicing a religion that required the use of peyote in its religious ceremonies as akin to the risk of snake-bite death for members of a cult of cobra handlers.  

      Now the Supreme Court has informed us that the right of corporate owners to practice their religion by denying contraception to women who do not share their religious belief is superior to the interest of Native Americans in using peyote personally in religious ceremonies without fear of criminal prosecution.

      Hobby Lobby says a corporation's free exercise of religion entitles it to refuse to cooperate with distribution of contraception if it is closely held by persons whose religious beliefs oppose contraception.  

      Does that mean a corporation closely held by Christian Scientists can refuse to facilitate health care services at all but instead offer prayer sessions?

      Moreover, the "personhood" of a corporation is based on a legal fiction.  It is a centuries old legal fiction to allow an organization to operate as an economic actor in the same manner as an individual while insulating the owners from risk of loss beyond what they invested in the enterprise.

      Thus, to take liability through the enterprise to the owners, absent individual fault for the injury, it was necessary to "pierce the corporate veil."

      By saying that the religious views of the owners of a closely held corporation can be ascribed to the corporation -- as a defense against compliance with a generally applicable law (such that the corporation is entitled to an "accommodation" exempting the corporation from a provision of that law) -- the majority has, effectively, stripped away the veil, leaving the dancer, well, naked.

  •  When I was 13, and (15+ / 0-)

    to the horror of the nuns, a Jesuit Priest informed me that I (me!) had free will. Long story short: I've not looked back.
    Welcome home BC!!

    "the northern lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see. Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge, I cremated Sam McGee". - Robert Service, Bard of the Yukon

    by Joe Jackson on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 02:05:31 PM PDT

  •  Been there done that (11+ / 0-)

    wear the tee shirt proudly. Now I carry the torch with my daughter, my son, my nieces and their friends.

    Don't watch it dad, you will have brain cells jumping to their suicide. Me, when I learned dad had been watching Fox.

    by glescagal on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 02:14:17 PM PDT

  •  Wow. Just wow. (9+ / 0-)

    May your passion, fear, and brilliance continue to guide you.

    Nothing matters but the song.

    by 47songs on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 03:05:16 PM PDT

  •  Céad míle fáilte, lassie. (17+ / 0-)

    I think we are going to get along just fine.  I have loved strong Celtic women all my life.

    My daughter in law (Clan Ross) is carrying on the family tradition.  There is something about an unblinking stare from huge blue-grey eyes that scares hell out of weak men and other lesser mortals.

    Slàinte mhòr.

    Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength. - Eric Hoffer

    by Otteray Scribe on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 03:17:21 PM PDT

  •  excellent first attempt (8+ / 0-)

    I look forward to your future efforts

  •  Thirteen years ago (12+ / 0-)

    I wrote the first in a series of four novels about the Boudica and her achievements... I said then - and still maintain - that we lost our souls as a culture then, and have never regained them.
    But we are closer than we have ever been. And we can stop the turn back to darkness. We have to believe that...

    'The behavior of any bureaucratic organisation can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a cabal of its enemies.' Robert Conquest

    by Airmid on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 04:12:25 PM PDT

  •  Right on! Very well written BC. (6+ / 0-)

    "If you're in a coalition and you're comfortable, you know it's not a broad enough coalition /= GTFO" Dr. Bernice Johnson Reagon + JVolvo

    by JVolvo on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 04:13:46 PM PDT

  •  I'm too excitable for the cool kids (5+ / 0-)

    and it sounds like you are, too.  

    Seems like the easiest thing in the world would be to be yourself.  So where did all those people come from, trying to say you you cant' do that?

    I can see this place is going to be over run by bodacious,  audacious people in touch with their inner kid, while the "grups" are off being the cool kids!


    "The light which puts out our sight is darkness to us." Thoreau

    by NancyWH on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 04:18:01 PM PDT

  •  Great first diary Boudicas Child. (14+ / 0-)
    One thing my struggle has taught me is that achieving something at the cost of your conscience and humanity is a poison that will blacken your spirit and eat your soul till you hate yourself and everyone around you.
    Yes, that is the ancient hate that too often divides us and empowers the 1%.
    Welcome to Daily Kos. If you have any questions about how to participate here, you can learn more at the Community Guidelines, the Knowledge Base, and the Site Resource Diaries. Diaries labeled "Open Thread" are also great places to ask. We look forward to your contributions.
     ~~ from the DK Partners & Mentors Team.

    It will never happen for the first time until it does.

    by catilinus on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 04:37:42 PM PDT

    •  Boudica wiki: (5+ / 0-)
      Her Rise:

      Boudica (alternative spelling: Boudicca), also known as Boadicea...was queen of the British Iceni tribe, a Celtic tribe who led an uprising against the occupying forces of the Roman Empire.

      Boudica's husband Prasutagus was ruler of the Iceni tribe. He ruled as a nominally independent ally of Rome and left his kingdom jointly to his daughters and the Roman emperor in his will. However, when he died, his will was ignored and the kingdom was annexed as if conquered. Boudica was flogged, her daughters were raped, and Roman financiers called in their loans.

      Her Fall:
      First, the Romans stood their ground and used volleys of pila (heavy javelins) to kill thousands of Britons who were rushing toward the Roman lines. The Roman soldiers, who had now used up their pila, were then able to engage Boudica's second wave in the open...Tacitus reports that "according to one report almost eighty thousand Britons fell" compared with only four hundred Romans.
      Lot's of good Boudica reads. Lot's of good reads on Roman England.

      Many a Roman Legion came home with red haired/blue eyed children and a six foot tall wife.

      ------T'is a take-off from a Dixie Chicks song. I'm a fan------

      by Notreadytobenice on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 10:00:45 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Your FIRST diary ? ? ? (14+ / 0-)

    Well, write on.

    The time has come to repair this country and care for its' veterans.

    by llbear on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 04:53:22 PM PDT

  •  I'm not a scholar, by any means, but I've (13+ / 0-)

    done a bit of studying and research in my life.  And I was raised in a Calvinist/fundamentalist sect that was virulently anti-Catholic.  What I've come to realize, or at least believe, is that anger directed at the Catholic church itself is misdirected.  It should be directed at the priesthood within the church.  And most cultures have priesthoods, whether Catholic or not.  Priesthoods in all cultures exist for one purpose:  to keep the poor enslaved and in perpetual subjugation to the rich.  The proof in history is overwhelming and undeniable.
    Even though John Calvin was a Protestant, I've had several Catholics tell me:  "I'm a Calvinist."  I wasn't surprised, and at least they were honest about it.  There are a lot of levels to John Calvin's ideology, but the main point of it, in my view, is to convince poor people that they were put on this earth to endure constant suffering, pain and misery, before dying and most likely going the hell.  Rich people are predestined to go to Heaven, as indicated by their God-given wealth.
    The "high priests" of the patriarchal death cult that I was raised up in would never admit to being priests, much less Calvinists.  But it's the exact same pathology.  It's all about judgement, condemnation, and punishment.
    Do you want happiness and freedom in this life?  Don't wait around for the priests to give it to you.  They never will.  You have to claim it for yourself.

    "Soylent Green is people too, my friend!" Guess Who

    by oldmaestro on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 05:40:52 PM PDT

  •  Thank you (6+ / 0-)

    for your honesty and guts, and willingness to tell repressors where to stick it!

    Rock on!

  •  Welcome to Daily Kos, Boudica's Child! (6+ / 0-)
    I want to add that I have nothing against men. Really. I have some amazing guy friends who are champions for equality and a few who, by their own experiences, do understand my struggle. I will never discount another's struggle or diminish it in comparison to my own. Blowing out someone else's flame to make mine look brighter is not how I roll.  
    Men of quality stand with women's equality. Always have, always will.

    To borrow your very own words, those who blow out the flames of others to make their own look brighter are dullards indeed!

    Excellent Diary! Tipped and recommended!

    And welcome to Daily Kos!

    p.s. I know the "conformantist Catholic" line painfully well; at least where I grew up, it was applied equally nastily to men and women.

    "It's high time (and then some) that we put an end to the exceptionalistic nonsense floating around in our culture and face the fact that either the economy works for all, or it doesn't work AT all." -- Sean McCullough (DailyKos user thanatokephaloides)

    by thanatokephaloides on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 11:04:56 PM PDT

  •  In 8th grade (8+ / 0-)

    In a Catholic school, I made the mistake of asking a genuinely curious question about a part of the catechism and was called a heretic in class by an aged nun who was the the mother superior of the order in that diocese.

    I have evolved into a confirmed atheist, but I will never forget the pain of that moment (50+ years ago and counting). I was shunned by other students, jeered at, laughed at. I'm not an atheist because of that moment, but it only helped a little.

    And, Boudicas Child, please keep writing. Really. Write on. You're that good.

    "We are how we treat each other and nothing more."

    by Mr Bojangles on Fri Jul 18, 2014 at 11:52:26 PM PDT

    •  On heresies (6+ / 0-)
      I made the mistake of asking a genuinely curious question about a part of the catechism and was called a heretic in class by an aged nun who was the the mother superior of the order in that diocese.
      This is, essentially, the proper usage of the word 'heretic'. The word heresy comes from Greek and means 'something chosen'. Thus, a person who seeks to make their own choices instead of unquestioningly accepting everything that is dictated from above is a heretic. No wonder that the powers that be see it as a Very Bad Thing.

      I'd say that any progressive person should take that title not as condemnation but as a badge of honor. And peer pressure is a vicious thing. I feel your pain.

  •  Write On (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    NancyWH, silverfoxcruiser

    FWIW I didn't get the impression you had anything against men. You sound more like a fighter that may have lost your focus for a bit. Fight on Write on.

  •  well said (9+ / 0-)

    I'm very new to Daily Kos; your Diary is one of the first I've read.  In your first paragraph, I saw my story: my parents were first generation American/Irish Catholic Republicans.  Five kids and little money. Strong work ethic.  Very intelligent people but with few opportunities.

    Our neighborhood wasn't as nice as yours, but I think my Da may have been a lot like yours.  

    In the '50's and '60's, being a freethinking, questioning, intelligent human (of any gender) qualified to get you in trouble with the Church. Still does.

    I think your Da taught you to think like an Irishman (not always a good thing).  So, he gave you the "behave like a lady” speech that you call a betrayal.  Sometimes, fighting the fight for the sake of the fight may be the Irish Way, but it's not necessarily the smart way.  Do you think he thought that by telling you not to put it in the Nun's face he would have undone all he did to make you to the firebrand you became?  Don't be pissed at you Da, you owe him.

    I want to say don't be pissed at men.  Although, arguably, it was (and still is) white men that benefited most from the environment where people at the bottom of the economy fight with each other for a place on the second rung of the ladder. It's not all men that you have a fight with.  Listen to you Da; this is the "behave like a lady” speech.  You should only fight the fight when there's an opportunity to win; don't do it because you like the taste of blood in your mouth.

    In his generation (and before), Irish and Italian immigrants (in NYC anyway) struggled for a place on the second rung.  Before they began to marry one another, they hated one another.  It wasn't true that they had a fight with one another, but they didn't know how to fight the Boss, and like you (and like me), they were pissed and wanted a fight.  You have a fight with your second husband (because he was (is) an ASSHOLE not because he was a man).  You have a fight with a system where real income is continually decreasing for most people.  Many of the people who benefit from that system are white men; don't be tricked into thinking you have a fight with white men.

    In your GrandDa's time and in you Da's time, the Irish and Italians (and other immigrants) built unions. The learned to take the fight to the people they had a fight with. My first real job in the early 1970's was as a Union Carpenter in New York City.  I was paid $10.00/hr for the first 40 hours and time and a half over that.  Funny story, in September of my first full year as a Journeyman DockBuilder, my pay check was a lot higher that it was for a normal 40 hour week, and I hadn't worked overtime.  I pocketed it and kept my mouth shut.  I didn't know it at the time, but I had stopped paying FICA tax (IN SEPTEMBER).  That experience changed me.  I was earning twice what office workers were earning.  That, because we were organized, and they weren't.  

    I want to say don't be tricked into thinking that numerical parity for women is a good thing.  If you have a job that sucks just as much as the job a man has, you don't win.  If your wages decline at exactly the same rate as everyone else's, you don't win.  

    I want to say don't be tricked into fighting for woman's rights.  That, for exactly the same reason that it's a mistake to try to hold someone down so that you can maintain your (crappy) position.  If you position sucks, you gain nothing by attempting to diminish someone else's.  I don't want parity for my daughter; I want her to be able to enjoy her life at work and away from work.  I want that to be true for men too.  Yeah, if you have to pick a place to put you effort, go ahead and pick helping women, but only do that if there's a better way to win the fight there than elsewhere.

    I enjoy a lot of benefits I've not earned.  I'm a man; that accrues benefits -- go figure.  I'm white; that's a huge benefit. I've 6-foot 5-inches tall; I'm not sure why, but that has always helped me.  I have grey hair; that helps mostly with cops (I get warnings now instead of citations).  Most importantly, I'm an American.  I want to say don't hate me because I got a free ride (even though I did).  You can hate me, but it won't help you.

    I'm an engineer and a researcher; I don't have to stress my body the way a DockBuilder does and I actually like to work.  I believe it diminishes me to want other people to have less than me in that regard.  In fact, if everyone could love to go to work, if everyone could get what they need from work, I don't think that would diminish my position one little bit.   Too, I want to live in a place where it's not a crime to be lazy.  I want to live in a place where it's not a crime to be just plain stupid.  I want to live in a place where we don't hate lazy stupid people; that's not to say I want to live in a place where it's easy to live the lazy stupid life, but I don't want those people to live under bridges either.

    Congratulations on your essay.  It was well written and certainly heartfelt.  Keep up the fight.

  •  Thank you Boudicas Child (4+ / 0-)

    For sharing your story. It is so very much like my own it is kind of eerie! Just last night I was giving a tirade about how hard I fought to escape the trap of marriage and inequality for women, and in the end acquiesced for my child. I got a bit farther on the pay scale, but am employed well below my potential. Despite teaching at a University, I would be on Food Stamps if I was on my own with my child. Keep up the fight and let's all us like-minded-tough-as-shit women stick together!

    •  Actually, that is exactly the situation. I am a... (3+ / 0-)

      Actually, that is exactly the situation. I am at a university. I'm paid less than in the private sector, but the benefits and job security are better. However, I found myself stifled a bit because now everywhere I go I see someone from the university and it's somewhat conservative so I feel I must be careful. Women don't suffer from inequity in pay, but, depending on the department, struggle with advancement.

  •  Poor baby! (0+ / 0-)

    I COULD feel sorry for you but I won't or don't.  Millions of others have had the same struggle, been there, done that. Bought the T-shirt, even the cap.
    Congrats, however, on your accomplishments.  Same thing happened to me, but I'M happy!

    •  NEWS FLASH to DarthEVaderCheney ... (0+ / 0-)

      No one cares if you do or don't feel 'sorry'. So keep your sneering to your own 'happy' self okay? Most of the comments I've seen from you in various diaries show that your favorite thing to do is add your own little piece of negativity and ill will, so in future you can refrain from the condescending comments and we'll take it as read that you'd 'do the poopoo that you do so well'!

  •  So which battle are you (0+ / 0-)

    going to start with?  If you say all of them count me out.  Progressives have been fighting everyone and everything and have not made much progress or been very effective in doing so.  

  •  I have four daughters. All smart, capable and w... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    1949girl, silverfoxcruiser

    I have four daughters. All smart, capable and willing to push back and challenge the norm.

    I have tried to teach them that there is no such thing as "can't". You must find a different way to get the job done. No one will do it for you. If it is worth something it will be difficult.

    Everyone will push back if they think that you threaten them or the norm in their lives. Many think that if you have something "you took it away from them or didn't earn it".

    Ignore them all and find a different way.

    If anger helps, use it. Be cautious with "help" --- there is generally a price.

    You go girl, but try to find some peace in your life.

  •  I know why you are angry (5+ / 0-)

    Thank you B.C.,
    Your story is like you have lived inside of me for all my life since I was 18-1/2 years old, I am now 68 going on 69 years old, never lost my faith in people. 1 difference in your life and mine is that I lost both my parents at 18 years of age. Been on my own, fighting my way through life, with no one to turn to when I hit a wall, and had to figure it out for myself. It has made me a stronger woman, at my age I am still taking on the upper crust, fighting the injustices and taking on politicians with letters, phone calls, bugging them at all points, even telling them "if they want to shut me up, put a bullet between my eyes" as you see I am still here. God Bless you B. C. keep fighting and let them know that we women are not weak, that many of us are that Tiger and we can turn tables around when we get angry enough. And thank all you men that help us women full fill all of our dreams with no strings attached. My fights have never been for just me, they have been for all the senior citizens that are be used as a carpet, and a piggy bank for a small portion of the Government.

    God Bless all, and thank you again B. C.

  •  Your words (6+ / 0-)

    give me hope.  I sometimes see women as being brow beaten by religion and their husbands into believing that women are inferior and men should be "running the show."  Reading this article says that maybe there are women out there that believe as I do that women are equal in every way.  The recent attacks on women's rights by republicans is blatantly obvious and they don't seem to care that women can vote.  It's as though Fox News and old white male congressmen are all they need to pander to.  Any contribution you and your ilk can make to get people out to vote democratic in the mid terms will be greatly appreciated.  Throw the bums out.  

    •  It's NOT that women CAN vote--- (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      It's not that women CAN vote---it's that they don't seem to WANT to vote;  or worse;  they vote the way their male counterparts seem to feel they SHOULD vote.  

      When I think of the women that died for OUR right to vote--and for EXACTLY this reason---it makes me sick.

      I thought that this sort of mindless following of men was from an earlier generation--my 86 year old mother in law will TELL you that she voted the way her HUSBAND told her to--wonder what she does now he is dead?   She knows nothing and cares to know less.  Her husband once told me I had no RIGHT to vote UNLESS I voted Republican!

  •  Angry woman... (6+ / 0-)

    Right there with you, babe.  I was ready to turn the reins over to my daughter to continue the fight but find that she is having to start over due to the ratfkers that are trying to 'convince' young women that their place is at home and taking care of them...good lord.  WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYONE MAKING THEIR OWN CHOICES???

    •  It can be hard to make one's own choices when (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      the Supreme Court supports corporations doing so.

      Best to your daughter, SYSPROG, and thank you for speaking.

      Welcome to Daily Kos. If you have any questions about how to participate here, you can learn more at the Community Guidelines, the Knowledge Base, and the Site Resource Diaries. Diaries labeled "Open Thread" are also great places to ask. We look forward to your contributions.
      ~~ from the DK Partners & Mentors Team.

      "The opposite of war isn't peace, it's CREATION." _ Jonathan Larson, RENT -9.62, -9.13

      by BeninSC on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 01:35:49 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  What happened to everyone making their own choices (0+ / 0-)

      That was a myth that would make no sense to most people alive and to most people who have ever lived.

      You live in a community. You do not make your own choices. You make choices among options afforded by your community.

      You may change your community to expose yourself to additional or alternative options, but you do not make your own choices.

      You need others to survive and they need you. What you do affects others as they affect you.

      When you get into a motor vehicle your life depends on the decisions made by thousands of people who are strangers to you. The structural integrity of your home is affected by the decisions made by thousands of people who are strangers to you. The food you eat, the water you drink, the medications you take, the sewage and waste that you make, all depend on a community built on trust.

      Unless you are alone in the wilderness scratching out a bare survival, you make decisions among options that your community offers you. From the ancient Greeks onward, this was considered to be one of the worst punishments a person could be given.

      You may not even be aware of some options. You may think that you are choosing when you are being guided. The illusion of control is well documented within psychology, philosophy, and many other points-of-view. It is especially strong among people from individualist cultures such as the American culture. But to the billions of peoples of Asia, this seems both false and sad.

      You are here on this website because of the thousands of years of work made by millions of people over millennia to create a system that allows computers to exist and lets you use them to interact with others.

      You are here on this website because you want to be in a community where others make decisions that are similar to yours, and where you can trust people to care about what you have to say.

  •  Changing direction (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    arlene, silverfoxcruiser

    What an inspiring start! What's next?
    I was thinking about how so many folks just whined and moaned before the 2010 midterm elections and then the 2012 election showed so clearly that when we come together, and avoid getting sidetracked, we can change things. In Albuquerque over 100,000 of us voted down a GOP/Koch initiative to curtail women's reproductive rights and we haven't stopped there.
    So what actions seem like good ways to go to you? Any tips?

  •  You're not alone (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dicentra, silverfoxcruiser

    You have many kindred spirits out here and we're all mad as hell.  I haven't given up, but I'm sad for young women who don't understand yet what is being taken away from them, and what our country has lost.

  • (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Great Post. I have 4 daughters for whose sake I post.
    I hope readers will check out, one of the grass root efforts to change our political system to fight back against the money/power interests about whom this angry gal rails.

  •  Thank you and well written (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
  •  Anger (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    1949girl, silverfoxcruiser

    I can relate. This top 1% are killing us. I too was a tom boy. I am free thinking. I understand why she is so angry. People say there is no class system. Who are they trying to fool? Our house in Congress is the worst. I will never be a republican or a tea bagger. These folks take and take. They are the takers and the entitled. They love to turn things around on everyone who doesn't believe in their cause. I am sick of these morons in the House. They have the power of the purse. Don't blame Obama for these fools and their actions. Sick to death of hate politics. You men are corporate puppets. You are greedy a$$e$ who don't care about the people. Quit using propaganda and lies to sell your corporate agenda. These are a lot of the same men who crashed our economy. They stole our pensions and our homes. Then tax payers bailed them out. What a huge mistake. They learned they will never fail because we will bail them out. We had a so much money stolen by wall street. These people gotta go. Women we can Vote them out. Vote for freedom. Vote because we are being lied to and scammed. Propaganda every where and not a ounce of truth.

  •  Who The Hell Is This Woman and Why Is She So Angry (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    Excellently Articulated & Exceptional Spirit!!

  •  Thank you (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    Great post. All true and very sad. A big thanks to Ronnie Reagan for setting us upon the path of massive destruction of all things democratic. Horrendous. Keep fighting and I will as well.

  •  Awesome post, BC (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Now I have to try and get my story down in a diary. You have inspired me to try, anyway.

  •  Boudica's Child (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Very apt name for a modern day warrior woman. The original Boudica lived during the Dark Ages, and definitely
    held her own against the  invaders of her country. Love your ideas.  I too worry about all our advances for women being destroyed by reactionaries.

  •  reply (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dicentra, silverfoxcruiser

    Boudicas Child, I stand with you (73 year old male).

  •  Bravo! nt (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    "In ceremonies of the horsemen; Even the pawn must hold a grudge"

    by tweeternik on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 12:30:42 PM PDT

  •  Nice Diary (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    I was intrigued and was trying to read to get the feel of the room before I commented.  The accolades are coming in faster than I can read them. I also appreciate  the introduction to Boudica; my grasp of that period of British history is lacking.  I am  more of the Aspasia kind of guy, although six foot blue eyed Celt warriors are in my "definitely interesting" category.

    I have been called a feminist by right wing christian nut jobs as pejorative although I consider it a compliment.  I am definitely interested in your diary Boudics Child and look forward to the conversation.  The nuns threw up their hands in frustration at my demeanor, so I ended up arguing with the Jesuits.

  •  OK, Who pissed Dr. Song off (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    now? Really bad Idea. :P

    "Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat, but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires." - John Steinbeck

    by Bulldawg on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 01:00:15 PM PDT

  •  Kudos to you, BC. Your strength and courage come (0+ / 0-)

    across mightily. I too would like to suggest - if you haven't already - that you introduce some well-deserved serenity into your life. It does not have to be all anger and struggle. The thing that has worked the best for me over the last 39 years or so is meditation. And there are countless ways to do it. Thank you again.

  •  Welcome. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    I am looking forward to watching you channel your anger into useful action. We've got your back!

    Here is a test to determine whether you've achieved your mission on Earth: If you're still alive, you haven't. (Richard Bach, Illusions)

    by roosterbear on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 01:13:00 PM PDT

  •  Lovely (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    MyOwnReality, silverfoxcruiser

    but why do those of us who eschew marriage and are angered by the inequality in the work place always have to assure everyone that we really like men? I only like the men who appreciate me as a human being.

  •  Good stuff, well done! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Time sets all things right. Error lives but a day. Truth is eternal. - General James Longstreet

    by kbrown2225 on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 01:15:31 PM PDT

  •  A CHILD OF THE 40S THANKS YOU (6+ / 0-)

    For saying what so many of us have said silently while gritting our teeth (okay make that dentures now).

    My adulthood began in 1960 and I've been there and back several times now.  In my opinion women have less control and freedoms than they had when I stepped onto a train that took me away from the little farm I grew up on.

    There were many changes going on for sure because we were all fresh-faced and John F. Kennedy had beat incredible odds to become the young president we were placing our faith in.  There were many of us who looked to college as a way to independence and there were still plenty of young women looking to land a promising husband as their mothers had advised them to do.  

    Needless to say those marriages happened to a generation that wouldn't stay married for more than a decade.

    My advice is to stay angry Girls because some little fat jerk in government wants to make sure you go back to the 1950s or earlier when wives stayed home to clean house, raise as many children as their husband decided their wives needed and have a meal prepared in the evening whether the husband comes home and eats or not.

    Don't allow the little fat phucks decide your life for you.

    •  I was born in 1951 on my mother's 30th birthday .. (0+ / 0-)

      She had a college degree but committed her life mostly to raising my two sisters and me, supporting her husband in his work as a minister, and social work.  She was an English major and in middle age went back to school and got a Master's in educational counseling.  But still her focus remained not on a professional career (she did little formal work for pay -- but remember, Aristotle believed paid work to be demeaning) but on the church, family, and social action.

      I owe her, and my father, my character.  There are many ways for women to contribute to the betterment of society.  Their choices should be free and respected and fulfilling, whether in the economic arena or the larger marketplace of society.  

  •  Wonderful diary (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    and a most excellent rant!  You are a really great writer too -- keep posting, I look forward to more from you.

    The GOP -- Hating Women, Gays and People of Color since 1854
    PS Despite the dumb screenname I picked, I'm female!

    by Former Chicagoan Now Angeleno on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 01:22:47 PM PDT

  •  More people need to realize (3+ / 0-)

    how fast the decent into disaster can happen.
      Your quote:
    ". . . one turn of luck could take it all away."  is exactly what happens to many people, early in their life or later on.   It is a devastating experience and the game is stacked against improvement.

      Bravo for being you. Bravo to your family for teaching you the way to be really educated.  (Occasional slips need to be forgiven.  Been there so I understand.)

      Congratulations for getting out of the pits.

      Thank you for sharing this and thank you for helping making life for all of us better.

  •  an excellent diary (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    snwflk, silverfoxcruiser

    As a 66 y.o. male, who understands poverty and want from his childhood, I really appreciated your observations.

    I despair for our country.  Our public education system has been stripped of meaningful...or more accurately, honest and objective...history and civics curricula.  Our teachers, as hard as they try, have been reduced to performing child crowd control and babysitting.

    I really don't see a turn around for the better for working people in our society until we somehow help our children and young people develop critical thinking skills and a knowledge of our government and our history.

    "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win". Mohandas K. Ghandi

    by Randolph the red nosed reindeer on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 01:41:33 PM PDT

  •  I married an Irish woman despite her cautioning (3+ / 0-)

    me as to what I was in for. Twenty-five years later I am a much better person for it. Her strength and passion has made me a better person than the one I was when we were married. My daughter is her mother's child and we are blessed for that. Her mother and I have made sure that she understands that no one has the right to set her limits as a human being. I have never accepted gender rolls because all of us have a potential that is far and above who we were born as and what society has decided. Your diary is an inspiration and I thank you for it.

    “Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth.” :: Buddha's Wisdom-The Dhammapada ::

    by Sam Sara on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 01:43:56 PM PDT

  •  Well written, well said (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, snwflk, silverfoxcruiser

    About time - we're pulled slowly down the slippery slope and don't realize until it's too late what we've lost - time for some rage - any woman that votes for a red jerk is ling to herself and betraying her daughters.

  •  MY kinda fierce! KUDOS! (3+ / 0-)

    I brought my daughter up NOT to be a shriveling, dainty "lady", but to be like her mother, the kind of woman I'd want to be associated with; right now, we're in the midst of teen apathy, but she'll come out of that.  She's proud of being a "tomboy", proud of the fact that her schoolmates are a bit intimidated by her take-no-prisoners attitude.

    DAMN the church (ALL of them , for that matter) and their insistence on conformity!  We are people, ALL of us, male/female, all colors/races, LGBT, rich/poor, etc.  None are better than the other, some just have the skill set that makes them more money.  (My skill set makes me NEEDED.)

    I salute you, and if we were to meet, I'd be proud to know you.

  •  Nightmare in North Carolina (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Greatly appreciated your column; sometimes it's difficult to know what to do with all that you can see and feel around you that is unfair, unequal, and unjust.

    I'm posting a comment here to try to let people know to be careful even if they're thinking of driving through North Carolina.

    It's a safe link from, and I need people to read and sign.

    Had I had any knowledge of this common law I would not have moved myself and my business to North Carolina.

    That was an interesting first column that I obviously could feel and understand.

    Meg Conway, Asheville NC

    •  Thank-you Daily Kos readers for signing my petitio (0+ / 0-)

      Ms Childs I had signatures on my petition and I know they must be from the people who read your column, my comment and my petition

      thank-you daily kos readers
      Ms Childs your column and the comments to it speaks to those of us standing up for ourselves especially speaking directly to the 1% who have, as in my case, somehow tried to devastate our lives.

      they devastated me physically and financially, but I'm still here telling them no they can't do that, and that I'll do everything I can to let others know what they've done so that they can protect themselves from these two entities here and North Carolina.

       I've rebranded them as Bleakmore Farms, Mr. Potter/Jack Cecil (it's a wonderful life Mr. Potter) and Heartless Insurance

      It's heartening to know there are now others who know about these two corporations, and the nightmare in North Carolina in particular, Meg Conway, Asheville NC

  •  Obviously, you are angry about... (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dicentra, snwflk, silverfoxcruiser

    ... the insane load of BS that has been dumped on females by religion and pseudo-Christianity about what it take for us to be acceptable to the very people who repress us.

    I don't blame you. I feel that same anger and sense of betrayal. Nothing is CHEAPER for us just because we're women. Why the hell does everything have to be harder and more restrictive just because we're women?

  •  YES! (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dicentra, silverfoxcruiser

    It's good to read the writings of someone who despises the conformity pushing pigs of the world as much as I do, especially the church chicken clones that want to oppress others down to their pathetic and cowardly level. I'm sure everyone here has heard of the "Nixon Southern Strategy," one of the main devises of brainwash and propaganda that the fascists use to make use of the most ignorant, gullible and naive in order to make it so that our government and laws keep people under their thumb. Anyone like me is most of the time seen as "angry," but my anger is only brought on by resentment of those like the filthy modern day Neo-cons, the drug war advocates, the bigots, the racists, the anti-choice oppressors of women, the anti-sex prohibitionists and all the rest of the pigs that want to control people's lives to their criminally selfish liking. Many have tried to control me, but what they always get in return is the proverbial punch in the nose within the voting booth.

    If you like bicycles, check out the newest and coolest products at my site, "" You can also find my products at e-Bay under the name, "Ziggyboy." See all the products on my "See seller's other items" link.

    by JohnnieZ on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 02:11:44 PM PDT

  •  Well spoken, heart felt, thank you. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    I, a white male, can only imagine the burning frustration reflected in your diary. Similarly, I know that the issues facing most Black Americans is beyond my understanding. Instead, I've been gifted a capacity for empathy, which truely joins all of us as one.

    Like most of our readers, I'm well aware that a political war is upon us, and growing louder: Growing economic inequality; an entire media empire dedicated 24-7 to trashing our President; oppressing the right to vote; allowing our national infrastructure to deteriorate (because we can't afford it!); resisting job creation at every turn; ripping off our veterens; closing women's health clinics; refusing to extend employment benefits; refusing to allow Medicade expansion; cutting food stamps; resisting a fix to our immigration system; (add your own list), all represented by a party (Republican) that apparently has NO agenda. And all this exacerbated by a Supreme Court that has apparently lost its mind.

    The above may seem to have little in common with the originating diary, but I think it does. The US has a terrible history of oppressing "minorities". While the guts of the above diary is personal, many of the underlying oppression themes are not, and are being replicated and supported by the teaparty lead Republican party - RIGHT NOW.

    So, it's simple. If you resonate with the sentiments of this beautiful diary. Get active, talk about these issues, encourage your friends to vote, and VOTE.


    A plutocracy (government by the wealthy) is not a democracy. me.

    by Redmond Ryan on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 02:24:02 PM PDT

  •  Bravo ! (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dicentra, silverfoxcruiser

    My wife is one of the two or three most intelligent, caring, and compassionate people I know.

    There can be a dozen of us in a room loudly wrangling some topic, while she sits quietly and listens.

    We have all learned, however, that when she speaks up, in her quiet voice, to SHUT UP AND LISTEN.  Because what she has to add to the discussion is salient, well thought out, and needs to be considered.  She only spoke up because we had all missed it.

    The pity is, she does recognize these qualities in herself.  When I, or any of our friends, try to tell her this is so, she blushes and hides behind me, the sofa, the cat, whatever.

    How she has put up with a long-haired-hippy-freak like me for over 30 years, I will never understand.

    I am just thankful she has, and continues to.

    “I'm too old to be governed by fear of dumb people.” - Sam Waterston as ACN News Division President Charlie Skinner, 'Newsroom' s1e1-1:04:00

    by TheCodfish on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 02:26:01 PM PDT

  •  Your Angry Woman post (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    I shared this with my Family & FB friends. Fortunate to be surrounded by strong women. Yin & Yang is more important now than ever!

  •  Why? (2+ / 0-)

    Do women always have to add the caveat that we have nothing against men?
    It's sorta like when Bush w as preznit and people would say to somebody "are you a lefty?" and they would backtrack to avoid that shameful label.
    Any angry woman is angry because she can't realize her potential because of....MEN.
    It's men pushing us back down and we didn't get up that far in the first place. And I don't care about "it's not all men" either, because it's always men.

    What a trap

    •  I could not disagree more. It's not always men. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      BLUE Skies in Red Hell

      I'll repeat that so no one misses it. It is not always men. Nuns were some of the most damaging people in my youth. Women oppress each other all the time. I had a woman boss who was one of the most oppressive people I ever worked for. She was only nice to the men.
      The problem is that we live in an intensely patriarchal system. In that system it is assumed that women are property by the fact that the man's bloodline which the woman will carry on is his property. That's why the woman takes the man's name (traditionally) to identify her offspring as belonging to him. That system is unnatural and all patrilinial societies suffer from the same social ills that we do. The bad behavior of men is sanctioned by the social system we live under. To simply blame men rather than doing our part to try and change the system that teaches them, is useless and wrong. It will never accomplish anything. Ever. I'm angry, but I have to be angry in the right direction or it's just hot air and tantrums.
      I know that there are a lot of women that feel this way and it really hurts our cause in the long run. Why would any man want to change or support a woman's cause if women are directing hate in his direction simply for his gender? How does that help in any way?

      Do women always have to add the caveat that we have nothing against men?
      Yes. I will ALWAYS add that to any discussion about women's issues that I want men to feel comfortable in understanding. By saying I have nothing against men in general I'm defusing whatever defensive feelings a man reading this may have. I'm saying, "I don't judge you for your gender, just your actions" How can that be wrong? Isn't that what we are wanting from them? How can a man possibly empathize and change if we attack him for even trying to identify with our difficulties? Just sayin'!
  •  Well done! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    I like your writing style and what you had to say.  Keep writing and fighting for social justice.  We need more like you.

  •  A change of tatics... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    "I’m angry that what little freedom women won for themselves is being attacked. Those fat white f@#$ers are pissed that for a while we had them on the ropes. For a while it looked like equality was within reach and now they think that they can push us back down “into our place” without a fight."

    This time around, we should all give up on "Equality Feminism" which was the "fat white f@#$ers" chosen negotiator which only got everybody "laid 'n paid" equality. Unfortunately, that's using the oppressor's tools and oppressor's culture to get the world we have a right to - and you don't have to look very far to see how well that's working out for us.

    Only "Liberation Feminism", "Liberation Humanism", and for believers "Liberation Theology" will get all seven billion humans what is rightfully theirs; all other methods including "Equality" movements amount to asking permission - which is precisely the world the  "fat white f@#$ers" want...

  •  Reminds me of my childhood (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    They were Irish Catholic Republicans, which was a real oddity at that time.

    and I became one of the first female homicide detectives 40 years ago....and I agree with her, women back then fought for what we, they appear to be asleep and that is sad

  •  feminist old man (5+ / 0-)

    Although I am an 84-year-old white male (and therefore supposedly should be a conservative Republican), I long ago left that party and have become more liberal with every destructive move by the Tea Party dominated extremists. I also support every fully equal right that women should be entitled to--sexual, economic, political and anything else. I look forward to a woman in the presidency very soon and a Congress filled with a plurality of Democratic women.

    Congratulations and best wishes for your diary debut. You sound like just the type of woman that we need to improve this sadly drifting nation. Now if more of the old white guys would open their eyes and join the cause.

    •  Now if 'more old white guys' would join the cause? (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      Tonight we are very happy to add your name to the list, LenXZ! It is very important, and not just on this topic! So thank you!

      Welcome to Daily Kos. If you have any questions about how to participate here, you can learn more at the Community Guidelines, the Knowledge Base, and the Site Resource Diaries. Diaries labeled "Open Thread" are also great places to ask. We look forward to your contributions.
      ~~ from the DK Partners & Mentors Team.

      "The opposite of war isn't peace, it's CREATION." _ Jonathan Larson, RENT -9.62, -9.13

      by BeninSC on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 03:52:47 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I'll join the cause! (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

         At 76, I've seen many good and many not so good changes. In the 50's the interstate system was built and the maximum tax rate was 92%. Now that the tax rate on the wealthy has decreased, so has our ability to maintain our infrastructure.
          It used to be illegal to advertise drugs, now we have a pharmaceutical industry that acts like organized crime. Most MD's get their information from drug reps, or should I say 'pushers'.
          I'm a contrarian by nature,and innately don't recognize authority.
          In 2000, I did a study of my income since 1969, and found that my professional salary went up by 500% - Then I corrected for inflation and taxes and found it only went up 25% in terms of gallons of milk or gasoline. That was quite an eye-opener since I knew that most folks had not had a five fold increase in pay. On the other hand, the 1% group has had a much larger increase and this income disparity destabilizes society and could lead to our downfall.
          In the US, women have had the vote for quite awhile and outnumber men, so don't complain about the old white men in congress, take action. I'll vote for you, unless your name is Sara Palin, or you are a member of the far right.

    •  Yes! Thank you. (0+ / 0-)

      If my grandfather were still alive he would be right there with you. Right on friend.

  •  Yes another Woman stans up (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    So happy to have your eloquent voice.  
    As John and Yoko said the word for woman is nigger!
    Been on the same path from mid last century.  

    Its always the same BS from most men and some women, unfortunately.  

    We must all stand up.  Rise up women of the world!  
    Only then will we be able to create peace in the world.  

    Rise up not to be superior, but to modulate the extreme yang in the world.  

    Rise up, stand up for the generations to come!

  •  Beautiful (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Gorette, silverfoxcruiser

    What a woman!  Smart as hell and ready to give her all for equality.  Love it.  

  •  Brilliant with brilliant sauce! You might like ... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    silverfoxcruiser, FarEastLA

    Brilliant with brilliant sauce! You might like to know that this Vulcan has a very similar background and also has a lot of anger.

    And I'm a white guy who knows clearly that the views of white conserative republicans are toxic and destructive. So I started hitting back.

    Part of the reason is because for me just disagreeing with their views isn't enough.

    I want to discredit their ideas, and them financially.

    I want to direct my anger at the people who embrace and advocate their sick, views about women, liberals, Muslims. Journalists.

    It is great to grow our instutions but I also like to attack theirs.

    I've been very proud of the work done to hit back on RW media in the wallet.

    When people start talking about revolution against the rich white men I get nervous because as a Vulcan I believe in peace and logic first. But not all wars have to be fought with guns.

    I like to quote the movie Trading Places. "You want to hurt rich people you take away their money."

    If we can't get people to prosecute rich people,I want to think about ways to turn them against each other or help them hurt the selves by using their own words against them like we did for KSFO hosts, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh.

    I'm so glad you posted this. I remember the days of "the angry left" and I'm still angry. It pains me that I'm also angry at elected officials who didn't fight the way I had hoped.

    So I keep fighting.

  •  Well said, you! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    As a too-soon-senior-citizen, fighting it all the way, and as a man, I can't begin to say I can relate to your situation other than to say that I stand firmly behind you, boost your courage and support your struggle.

    I fight the fight for women's equality every f'ing day and I pray that one day there will be gender equality.  

  •  This is a wonderful diary so for your first you (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    hit a homerun.

    I so enjoyed reading it because we are on the same page and I experienced some similar things in my life. I made my share of mistakes in trusting people not deserving of it and not knowing when to get out. In the end, so to speak, I've ended up in poverty due to health problems and not being able to work for several years late in what would have been my "work life." It can, I learned late, happen to anyone. It doesn't matter if you have a degree or experience, money or whatever, it can still happen to you and so many people who hate the poor think it cannot.

    Write on!

    "extreme concentration of income is incompatible with real democracy.... the truth is that the whole nature of our society is at stake." Paul Krugman

    by Gorette on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 03:02:34 PM PDT

  •  Great post! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Thank you.
    No fire can burn at a highly intense level all the time.
    From your post, even when your fire was at its lowest, it probably seemed incredibly intense to many, many folks.
    It's the spark.
    And it's there, if you know where to look, even when nothing is being said.
    Thank you again.

    I think, therefore I am........................... Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose....AKA Engine Nighthawk - don't even ask!

    by Lilyvt on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 03:03:17 PM PDT

  •  My mother was told not to let me read (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    I went to Catholic schools the first eight years of my schooling.
    It made me very angry.  I was so bright and they hated me for it.  My cousin was treated even worse because she was absolutely brilliant.  They hated us and we never could understand it as children.

  •  Hi. Awesome Post. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Eral Felder, silverfoxcruiser, scwlaw

    But I do have a comment here.

    Understand that I am coming at this from the perspective of a transgender woman...Yes, I was once biologically male, and I demanded a trade to the other team.

    There were those in my life who kept believing the biggest thing I had given up was so-called "male privilege."  Actually, the biggest thing I gave up was my very HUMANITY.  There were those who no longer saw...or treated a human, because they could not put me down into a neat little pigeonhole.

    I wasn't quite a woman, and I wasn't quite a man, either, them.  I finally realized I could only lose my humanity that way...if I allowed others to define me - and I allowed others to take what I had fought for.

    So we have some common ground.

    Employment has been very tough for me...for reasons different from yourts, but, nevertheless, it was a struggle for me for years, until I launched my own business, which I still work at, am moderately successful at - and, while I work harder than I have in years...and I once did have jobs that paid more (back when I was biologically male) - I have never been happier in my life.

    Because I define me.  Nobody else does.  Nobody labels me...the best thing abot labels is that they can be peeled off.  So if someone starts to put one on you...peel it off!

    But something you said caused me to pick my ears up, as it were...

    You said "I was tough and fierce and earned my way into being one of the boys when I was a kid."

    I couldn't help but notice it.
    I'm not sure if you were speaking from your then-perspective or if you still have the same perspective...but, if you do...then you're buying into inequality straight off, by, as you put it, "earning" your way into being one of the boys.

    Now, there was a time where, in my transitioning stages, some females basically had me "earn" my stripes, as it were...and I won't go into details, because it isn't about me.

    The point being...we all seem to buy into some of this inequality among the and women alike.  You experienced it from men and boys...I experienced it at the hands of mostly BOTH...women who were not sure I had "earned" being a woman...and men who felt I had somehow "taken a step down the ladder, willingly."

    As long as we all continue to buy into anything other than total equality...we all will never be equal.

    So I hope that you no longer buy into "having to "earn" your way into being one of the guys."
    You are what your spirit says you are, and, let me tell you, I hear one strong spirit in you, sister!

    With much love!

    •  Thank you for your very important perspective (0+ / 0-)

      You have a very important perspective and I thank you for sharing it. I was speaking of the past when I talked about earning my way. That message really came from my parents as far as "no one will give you a thing, you have to earn it" ideal of my parents generation. Even though my dad was third generation Irish/American, he still had an attitude that was a strong ideal among immigrant families. I'm glad I was raised that way. It made me the strong person I am today and people respect the fact that I don't expect anything to just be handed to me.
      Of course I shouldn't have to earn human rights. No one should.
      Thank you again for your comments.

      •  You're Very Welcome (0+ / 0-)

        I'm proud to call you "sister!"  You have a strong spirit.  And you don't have to be male or female to have a strong spirit.  Either gender can have a strong spirit.

        I'm glad to hear that you do not buy into the "having to earn your way into being one of the guys" but that you do recognize nothing is free, and if you want something in this world, then you have to FIGHT for it.

        Welcome to our army, here.  Let us all fight for the change we wish to see in our world.  Let us never allow anyone else to define us.  Let us never buy into ineuality on any level.  And most of all, as Gandhi once said, Let us be the change we wish to see in the world!

        Blessed be!

  •  Outstanding! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    As an an almost-70-yr-old mostly-white rural westerner, I say thank you. Keep writing, and if given the chance, start shouting!

  •  Thank you (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    It is great to hear others speak of this struggle.  As women we just put our heads down and just keep moving until we just don't have the energy to fight anymore.  I have struggled with this as well.  I have struggled to find the energy to express the outrage I feel with how this country is moving forward while at the same time trying to keep a roof over my head and food on my plate.  It is so warped in some ways but at the core of the people it is still so beautiful.  When I feel I can't find the energy I try to learn their ways and use them for good instead of evil.  This quote helps me.

    "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."

    Dale Carnegie

  •  Missed the point (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    I am finally, unequivocally, pissed!  You are all being driven into the abyss
    by people who believe tha mantra of; "Who dies with the most toys wins."
    without even evaluating why. Your response is to get all introspective about
    how you were, "abused by the system", without evaluating how your abusers were
    the product of that same system.  For thousands of years the posession of
    wealth and/or power meant longer life because weaker people, be they serfs or
    slaves, carried out your shit and cleaned your palaces.  After the discovery of
    microbes, we learned that these poor souls were the "soldiers" in  
    civilizations war against these unseen armies; and the wealthy enjoyed their
    protection. Today, The wealthy, having learned nothing. assume that the old
    wisdom is still true.  They seek to accumualte wealth at all costs whithout
    realizing that human understanding has leveled the playing field and anyone
    with access to basic medical care is their equal.  We have the power, via our
    vote, to rein in their rush toward, security/destruction, and the time to use it
    is now.

    •  The system really is the culprit (0+ / 0-)

      I'm not sure if this comment is about my dairy post or the comments after. It really isn't important because you touched on something important. The system really is the culprit. I do know that. Men today are just as much a product of it as women are. We too often get angry at the wrong things. My anger today is directed at the system as represented by our elected officials. They stand responsible for the system. So they are exactly the right people to be angry at because they are not representing their constituents.  

  •  Well said. I have a feeling of sisterhood (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    with just a little drop of moisture in my eyes. Life can be easy for those who look at only the big data but every one of those data points is a person and is any one of them less deserving than the others? Thank you for sharing the life behind your data point.

    "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." MLK, Jr.

    by KimmieInIN on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 03:36:58 PM PDT

  •  What'with the anger? (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    From one Ir. cath. to another, I admire your spirit. Picking up the sword and shield again for all the right reasons. For although the sword is rusted and the shield is worn from age, it's your hand which raised the weight; carries the fight and will win the day. Thanks.

  •  an angry man agrees (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    I am male, but much of what you say applies to me, to my own current feelings.  Irish Democrat family, my father was a WWII vet and a mailman (he preferred "letter carrier.")  My mother was smart & sharp but devout and a 50s housewife with a bottomless ironing basket. Good people, they gave me worthwhile values AND something to rebel against. I'm old enough to have demonstrated against Vietnam and Nuclear power, and for a few years reached the lower branches of the upper middle class. Wrote checks to worthy left or humane causes in the brief time I was within the castle walls.  Then -- insert long, non-unique story here-- descent back to middle class, lack of work, went through savings, descent to lower middle, then bankruptcy.  Bad luck, bad decisions, but I'm white and lucky in patient, generous friends, so my wife, kid and I never drowned.  But it ALL tempered my anger and outrage. I was furious and frightened all 8 damaging years of the Bush-Cheney abomination and its two stolen elections.  Supported John Edwards because there ARE two Americas, but he imploded and disappointed. So I wept when Obama won-- didn't think I'd see it in my lifetime-- and am more than disappointed in his presidency to date.  If it ends up Hillary in 2016, I'll probably vote for her, but I found Bill largely a disappointment (and NOT because of his sexual indiscretions) and have no great hopes. NOT cynical, but weary. I would love to see Elizabeth Warren rise but with a good dose of young Nader in her. It becomes ever more clear, money is calling almost all the shots in America, certainly since Reagan. (I include Bill Clinton & Obama in that shameful, unbroken line.) Are we still a democracy?  Not sure, but NOW is when we ACTUALLY need a revolution. The problems are obvious, but covered by a smokescreen of sensational murders, Kardashians and cable phenomena, which barely distract us from worry about late bills and making the rent or mortgage. We have not been lulled to sleep, we have been SCARED into staying asleep.  To counter that, we need smart, loud, lucid leaders, poets, musicians, artists articulating our common, well-earned outrage, and Howard Beale's speech should be running in all our heads. "First you've got to get mad!" I pray the Occupy people are hiding in the bushes and are making some plan, because no real help is going to come from DC or the business world. And at best minimally from exhausted boomers caring for elderly parents or late-born young ones.  I'm glad you have found your voice, and I'm working on finding mine.  I hope we all do, and all re-find our power, as American citizens, workers, consumers, people, as the millions of parts that ACTUALLY make this machine, this nation exist and run. It does run, but the wrong people are steering and navigating, and we are going in the wrong fucking direction.  We ALL know this, but it's hard to admit it out loud.  Let us pray, we need and need to become new Woodie Guthries, FDRs, Eleanor Roosevelts, John Lennons, Emma Goldmans, Jeffersons and Richard Pryors.  I had NO idea this was going to be this long.  (If anyone even gets this far down into the comments.)  Keep on, keep the faith, keep moving forward.  Love to all.  -- CK

  •  Boudica's Child, welcome! Terrific diary & handle! (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Danali, silverfoxcruiser

    I was never a fighter. I'm the type who apologizes to the walls I walk into. But I've voted for 44 years. I've phoned and written and emailed my congresscritters for years, and who knows? The FBI or NSA or some other set of initials may well have records on me back to the first Vietnam Moratorium when I was in college.

    (We walked, hand in hand in a long chain, to the old-fashioned downtown square with its bandstand. There we read the names of each casualty from the local county. It took HOURS.)

    Sometimes when I comment, the trolls come out. I've learned not to answer them, but sometimes I disappear for a while as a result. But I'm still going to be around somewhere, reading.

    And bugging congresscritters. And voting. And encouraging others to vote.

    And cheering you on, bold Boudica's Child!

    One size of anything NEVER fits all.

    by KDfrAZ on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 04:16:51 PM PDT

  •  Life: A merry go round? iF WE LET IT (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Who in their right mind would want their mother, sister, wife , aunt to be knocked back in time as if they had no other value than being a slave to their man? I know this is not the fate I would want any woman married to me or related to me.  Today people don’t do much for themselves, including thinking and at a time in history where it is very difficult to bullshit but still people gobble down pure bullshit for truth.
    The other side says don’t tread on my beliefs, religion and feeedoms but at the same time trying and succeeding at doing do others what they don’t want done to them. I sit back in complete amazement over the behavior of the other side over the last 6 years. I have not just sat back, I have taken actions by hitting those who want to control others where it hurts, in the pocket book. See, we the people have the ultimate weapon that can bring any group, corporation, wealthy person who is over reaching to their knee’s real quick. Its called the power of economic unity. Economic unity is the ruler at the end of the day but only when America learns how to use it effectively and that’s just what they don’t want and spend big bucks to prevent. Only we the people can change it or just  deal with it. I hear a lot of bitching, moaning and anger but that it, where is the action? Taking action is the only way and the only way to achieve results to turn the tide. ECONOMIC ACTION in todays too big to fail society is a club to the seal and will provide almost instant results.  The biggest corporations must get MARKET SHARE to survive, cut off bottle neck that market share and the giant falls hard, then they begin to stay within their boundries of making money and staying out of your personal life.  

  •  almost (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    I was following this, feeling connected, feeling empathy.  Then the comment about the "fat white"…  You lost me there.   What the heck does body size have to do with it?  

  •  You may count me among your "guy friends" . . . (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    championing equality and empowerment.

    I also was the victim of an abusive spouse for 18 years.  The impact upon women of domestic violence is the most dramatic and obvious, but it is, in reality, an equal opportunity evil.

    And mental health is our most serious, least addressed public health problem.

    Out here in the Western Pacific I have my own struggle for justice.  But that is a subject for another time and place.

    Fundamental to all this, as you perceive, is a certain corruption of social and moral values, an undermining of the integrity of the human soul.

    Good to see your raised sword and voice.

  •  Great stuff (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    In about 1000 words, you've summarized a great deal of what is wrong with our society today.  You've done so in very articulate fashion and not without humor.

    I am a professional writer and writing mentor myself, and I tell you that you should be writing regularly.  You should be writing books.  You would achieve a wide readership, and you would, I'm sure, do spectacularly well at book readings.

    Keep it up!

  •   You betcha girl - I'm another angry women (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Danali, silverfoxcruiser

    Society of yesterday tried to make lone wolves of women.  We were told that other women were competition in the war to gain a husband.  It was not feminine to stand up and voice our opinions.  That we would marry and be taken care of by men for the rest of our lives.   Well, it was not true then, and it sure isn't true now.  We work, study, pass exams and become everything from waitresses to college professors, even politicians.  But "the man in DC" still thinks that we need to be protected and told what to do.   Nothing doing moron.  I am free, independent and over 21.  I am in charge of my life and can do what I want with it.

    Boudica, I'm with you.  I am tired of having to fight the same old battles year after year.  When younger I had to fend off unwanted overtures from men.  I was told I should be flattered.   Next, because I had gray hair, I had to fight age discrimination.  Then I was told it was my imagination.  When will the day come when I don't have to fight for my rights?

    Commerce can't afford to give me equal pay, but they never consider reducing men's pay to the level of women's to have equality.  Boy, wouldn't the fur fly if they tried that. They use us as cheap labor to replace more expensive men, but don't expect to be promoted.

    At 70 I am too old to march and too tired to fight any more.  But I still have my trusty pen.  I'll use it every opportunity that comes my way, till the day I die.

  •  Response to your post (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    Hi, B.C.  I want to thank you for sharing your diary entry with the Daily KOS Community.  It has reawakened my fire and passion for those I see as victims of a system that preys upon the disadvantaged.  I am so damn tired of the rich getting richer and doing it by walking on the backs of the humble folks that are just trying to live a good life with or without the children they bring in to this world.  But quite frankly, I am at a loss as to how to fight them.  So, I have chosen to do so in my own way.  I sign petitions, write letters for worthwhile and wholesome causes, and donate time/money to causes that need help.  I have figured out that, that is the way I can help affect better change.  I guess it is better to have little victories than none at all.  Thank you again for reminding me that it is not enough to "simply exist".  Peace and Love to you.

  •  Welcome home! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Anger is a powerful medicine like alcohol but like alcohol it can ruin your life too. I think of religion as martial art, he who walks out of a brawl and can kick a few dance steps understands martial arts. She who can sing an uplifting song, even a faint one, after crossing Hell understands religion. Pax Romana is no pax, be bold.

  •  AMEN SISTER (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:







  •  Im a guy... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    but I feel you. I honestly don't know what is worth, the fact we are all being squeezed, or the fact that women are losing everything gained over the past 50 years (which wasn't far enough).

    I can't believe the ERA hasn't passed yet.

    Anyway, to you and all your sisters, get out and vote. The democrats are not what they once were, but the republicans are worse than thugs.

  •  Right on! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Sing it Sister! I'm not a woman but we must have seen the same things over the years. It is like you were inside my head.

  •  Thank you (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Is that all there is?

    by Eral Felder on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 07:03:45 PM PDT

  •  Excellent Blog/Post (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    We speak to my heart Sister.  I have all the same fears and concerns for our future.  And I feel frustrated that I have to continue to fight after fighting for such a very long time now.

    Thank you for sharing this well written expression of how many of us are feeling theses days.

    Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

    by Whitewitch on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 07:26:39 PM PDT

  •  I have been entertaining the thought of writing... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    I have been entertaining the thought of writing a first diary myself. But I can't decide where to even start or how much of a level of detail to include. I mean let's face it, corruption and torture are pervasive in every aspect of our society in all human interactions where a power differential exists. I am already exhausted just thinking about it. Thanks for the great piece.

  •  Brilliant first diary (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    Bravo! empowering and emotional. My story too. Thank you for putting it into words.

  •  you're still in the middle (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BeninSC, silverfoxcruiser

    I feel so sorry for you: [my clothes] "came from the Sears and Roebuck Catalog." What a horribly embarrassing situation!

    When connected lawyer landlords and a crooked judge took away everything we had and put my family (me, my wife, and our 6 year old child) on the street, her clothes came from donations at her school and we, as parents, did not get new clothes for years, except for occasional torn, stained, hand-me-downs from agencies and former "friends" who felt like they were giving us an enormous gift. And yet, we were still better off than many.

    With a lot of hard work, and the benefit of superior educations, we got off the street eventually. My wife was scarred with PTSD for life. Our daughter was unable to go to college after high school; now at age 25, after working up to Shift Supervisor at a retail chain, she is going to community college for a couple of years, then hopefully transferring to a "real" college. What a great kid, she got a 800 (perfect score) on the written SAT. I bet that helps a lot when she is restocking the shelves.

    And that was part of what made it so hard for us after slipping through the cracks: we appeared to be educated white upper middle class New York Jews, how could we become homeless? Nobody believed us about the landlord and judge colluding to destroy us, just because they could, and my family not helping us. My wife's family is largely dead, for various reasons, but that is not so unusual for an only child born late in her mother's life. We must be hiding something, like drug addiction.

    I found out recently that my uncle told everybody in my family that we were drug addicts and to not help us. My oldest cousin is now embarrassed that she accepted that explanation for so many years on face value, without any verification on her own.

    We did not "fit" in the social welfare system, we did not "fit" in the motels where NJ puts homeless families. My daughter's school sent a social worker to investigate why her clothes were stained. We got them that way from the school, and we washed them, often by hand, they were clean, but stained.  She told my wife: "The other families around you have SUVs and buy their kids Nikes. What is wrong with you?" My wife told her, "The other families are drug dealers and prostitutes." The social worker said, "That's what I mean, get with it." My wife said, "We may be destitute, but we still have values." The social worker said, "I see, I think it is your values that got you here." A few weeks later, before her return visit, the social worker died during cosmetic surgery. Then they left us alone, for a while.

    At my daughter's school, we asked for help getting a computer from the Gates Foundation that provided them with ones for needy students. We were told, "Your daughter does not qualify for the program. It is only for ethnically disadvantaged children." We did not fit the peg hole. I wrote letters to some banks, and one donated a computer they were replacing.

    Often working from a night spent on the street, we could not afford to pay a deposit on an apartment because when we did pay for our motel, the cheapest dive cost $600/week. In case you don't have a calculator handy, that is equivalent to $2400/month rent. So the agencies asked us, "if you can pay that, why don't you get an apartment? You are wasting your money, that is why you are homeless." We told them, because there is nothing left for security. Blank stare, and end of discussion.

    9/11 created an opportunity for my wife, who has a MSW degree, to get a job on a victims' hotline. That is what got us off the street. I worked many jobs, as a substitute teacher, a private tutor, a tour guide on NYC double decker buses, meanwhile honing my skills as a web developer, because I have always had an engineer's mind, I was a sound engineer in the 1980s.

    But the grant for the hotline ended and doors closed in my wife's face when she applied for jobs: "I see, and why weren't you working before this last job?" We were serially evicted for a few more years, and our daughter worked 2 jobs after school because nobody checked her work history. When we asked her friends' parents for help finding work, there were again whispers about "They have an unusual story. They must be on drugs."

    My wife responded to an ad in the Jersey Journal and was hired as the new weekly Senior Columnist. She gained a following by writing columns not only for the "traditional" senior retirees, but also for the new generation of Baby Boomers who were aging. After a year or so, the newspaper cut most of their columnists including my wife, and she is still recognized in many places in Hudson County as "the newspaper lady" because the paper published photos of the writers with the columns. She also worked as a receptionist/clerk in the office of a property manager we knew - until they decided it would be better for their business to hire a younger "girl" whose first language was Spanish.

    By the time I started to make decent money as a web developer, my wife's health was deteriorating, slowly at first, then rapidly. Uninsured, her health care cost me about $4,000/month until her recent hospitalizations, but at least we also have an apartment and a fairly modest normal life. We live in a largely immigrant neighborhood in New Jersey, not unlike many places in Queens. We are struggling like everybody else. But even here, we are suspect because our first language is not Spanish. My wife has actually been asked to leave clothing stores because she does not speak Spanish fluently.

    We were more fortunate than many, as I said, because we have good educations, and we know from the life before our descent into Hell what is expected on jobs, and in middle class situations. As long as the middle class people don't pry too deeply into our sordid past.

    My wife has mostly been in hospitals the past few months, and we do not expect her to leave the current one alive. A couple of months ago social workers accused her: "Why did you give up your good money writing at the newspaper? There is something fishy about that." They did not get it that 1) she was laid off with most of the editorial staff and 2) the column paid $50 per WEEK.

    Now I am receiving medical bills in the mail every day, mounting by the thousands daily. Currently her hospitalization bills for the past few months total over $500,000. I am slowly navigating the process to get her Medicaid, which is the only reason the current hospital has not ejected her like a used condom when the Charity Care grant period expired, which is what the previous hospitals did - they gave us the bums rush, with security guards making anti-semitic remarks as they escorted us to the exit. I wonder, though, if she dies before I am able to get her insured, will I be left with these debts? I really can't worry about that now and I can't do anything to prevent it from happening.

    Sorry for the long story. I just could not bear your self-pity for  buying clothes from the Sears catalog as a child. You were better off than my daughter. And we were even much better off than many others, in the USA, and certainly in other countries. I guess in the hierarchy of misery there are fine gradations from barely making it, to almost making it, to not making it at all.

    I have read that your values are progressive, and you do see the injustice in the system. We have to remember that even (or especially) in conflicts like the Israel/Palestine struggle, and most other "ethnic" conflicts around the world, who are fueling the hatred are the people in power, who would rather encourage their constituents to blame "someone else" than to question the relative affluence of their leaders compared with their own poverty. Divide and conquer, and everybody wins that has something to lose. It would be most inconvenient if everybody put aside their hatred for others and asked of their leaders, "But what are you doing for me?"

    Yes, Stay Angry - but make sure your anger does not become manipulated, and doesn't get directed at someone who should be your ally, not your enemy.

    •  Wow. What an incredible story! (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      First, I hope things improve for your wife. I can't imagine how hard it is, but I admire your spirit and commitment. You could rewrite this as a diary, if you feel so inclined.

      Unlike you I did not read self-pity in the paragraph about clothes from the Sears catalog. Maybe it was there, I don't know. I did not get that.

      But as you say, there is almost always someone much worse off than we, who would give nearly anything for what we have. This is a major reason we fight so hard.

      Best to you, decibelplaces. You're in our thoughts.

      Welcome to Daily Kos. If you have any questions about how to participate here, you can learn more at the Community Guidelines, the Knowledge Base, and the Site Resource Diaries. Diaries labeled "Open Thread" are also great places to ask. We look forward to your contributions.
      ~~ from the DK Partners & Mentors Team.

      "The opposite of war isn't peace, it's CREATION." _ Jonathan Larson, RENT -9.62, -9.13

      by BeninSC on Sat Jul 19, 2014 at 09:09:13 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  What an appalling story ... (0+ / 0-)

      and so many sick, sick, sick people.

      I have been told life in New Jersey is awful, but .... (shakes head)

  •  I'm impressed! (0+ / 0-)

    I feel compelled to say that this is the best piece I have read in many months. I think that there are many natural instincts that women cling to for survival or comfort to/for themselves and their children. You almost need to be free to know what it is and to exercise the right to be free. I think that most conservatives are what they are because they have a high level of instinctive negativity and much more fear of uncertainty than progressive people. It feels like we, the progressives, are horses hitched to a plow dragging it forward one small step at a time while it cuts through every piece of the Earth like claws digging in.  The plow being societies conservatives who are clinging to their bibles, guns and traditional beliefs like a six thousand year old existence - even when they consciously know that they are wrong.  Well, I've said enough, - I think that I'll go out to the barn and sharpen the tines on my pitchfork now.

  •  When I think of these things I think of the spo... (0+ / 0-)

    When I think of these things I think of the sports boards I sometimes read and occasionally write on and how fans insist certain players are worth say $100 million for 5 years to play a game that really contributes almost nothing to our society other than a lot of jock huffing and puffing yet when a cheerleader wants paid more than $125 per game she's an obvious slut gold digger. Games where the worse player on the team makes a quarter million a year while fans who might earn $15 an hour find a laundry list of reasons to justify it and who will gladly pay for the privilege of wearing their jersey to give away free advertising for billionaires all the while believing they're somehow contributing to the well being of society by being team patriots.

    If 1/1000000th of that energy were put towards actually bettering society we'd be in much better shape, but that's neither here nor now. (or something like that)

    Personally I'm OK now with my meager income of $721 per month from social security and not impressed with the idea everyone needs a new car, house and the latest fashions, gadgets and porn on demand, but I'm even less impressed with our society's obsession with forced, never ending competition to see who gets to die with the most toys.

    My mother and grandmother would be proud of you as they too fought tooth and nail for their slice of equality, but fear not. The rubes may want to go back to the past, but the past is gone and over with. Nobody in their right minds would throw all progress away for the seduction of nostalgia. It's a talking point that simply isn't going to happen. They're in the business of selling fear and you don't have to buy fear no matter what pitch the salesman uses.

    I was going somewhere with this, but got derailed.. Perhaps I could use some sleep. ;o)

  •  I'm right there with you. (0+ / 0-)

    much of your story is also mine. I've joked about having become an "angry old lady".
    So what?
    I use it to the best outcome I can and if folks don't get fired up we won't change anything.
    This was a great read, thanks.

  •  "Why is 'she' so angry"?? (0+ / 0-)

    It isn't just the 'she's who are so angry, it's the 'he's, too. Life post-Ike, wasn't supposed to be this way, and didn't have to be. We were all promised 'Dick and Jane and Spot and Puff', but got Dick Armey, Tom DeLay, Darth Dick, W, et al., instead, in one stolen Election after another.

    One of my old friends has already died prematurely because of the Great W Depression.
    The 'Dark Side' forces have unleashed a bunch of malcontents-with-the-21st-Century who want to return the 13th Century.

    The 'Good News' is that IF Illinois will pass the ERA Amendment, there's a strong case that the ERA will be added to the Constitution and will be like Sunlight on Dracula to the teawhacks.

    Then, maybe, just maybe, we can get a re-do of the 1980s.

  •  Great! Naw, FANTASTIC! (0+ / 0-)

    KEEP YOUR FLAME ALIVE!  You're an inspiration.

    Not that it would do much good but why not copies to your "public servants",,give them a few moments of discomfort as they ponder the likelihood of running into you in person.


    Recommended by:

    This story kind of reminds me of my Hip-Hop Song "Shame On You!" It has a similar sentiment! Because I am also Angry that this system is not a Democracy any more because it is the Lobbyists that are being represented in Congress not the people! This country is controlled by 1% of the people and the other 99% are left to fetch for themselves thanks to the "DO NOTHING CONGRESS"! In this next election, we need to get out of office all of those who are representing the interests of the very RICH!!! It is a fight of DAVID vs GOLIATH...BUT IT IS A FIGHT WHERE HISTORY IS ON OUR SIDE AND THE DEMOGRAPHIC NUMBERS FAVOR OUR CAUSE!!! THOSE OF US THAT HAVE A ROMAN CATHOLIC FORMATION WE MUST WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE...WE ARE CALLED TO FIGHT FOR SOCIAL INEQUITIES AND NOT LET THE SO CALLED FAR RIGHT WHO CLAIM TO BE CHRISTIANS RUN OVER WOMEN, THE MIDDLE CLASS, THE POOR, AND THE IMMIGRANT CHILDREN!!! THEIR BEHAVIOR IN CONGRESS IS NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF CHRISTIAN BEHAVIOR!!!

     I WILL END HERE BY QUOTING MY CHILDHOOD HERO "MARTIN LUTHER KING" FROM THE MOUNTAINTOP SPEECH: "Well, I don't know what will happen now; we've got some difficult days ahead. (Amen) But it really doesn't matter to with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop. (Yeah) [Applause] And I don't mind. [Applause continues] Like anybody, I would like to live a long life–longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. (Yeah) And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. (Go ahead) And I've looked over (Yes sir), and I've seen the Promised Land. (Go ahead) I may not get there with you. (Go ahead) But I want you to know tonight (Yes), that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land. [Applause] (Go ahead, Go ahead) And so I'm happy tonight; I'm not worried about anything; I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. [Applause]"

    OUR CIVIL RIGHTS FIGHT TODAY IS NOW CALLED "EQUITY" AND NOT ALLOW THE CLOCK TO BE TURNED BACK 50 YEARS! AGAIN "WE, AS A PEOPLE (ALL SUB-GROUP POPULATIONS) WILL GET TO THE PROMISED LAND!" QUOTE FROM OUR HOLY BIBLE: MATTHEW 19:24 "Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” ENOUGH SAID!

    "Professor" Paul aka Terlingua Kid

    by Terlingua Kid on Sun Jul 20, 2014 at 12:12:55 AM PDT

    •  then don't vote for Hillary! (0+ / 0-)
      we need to get out of office all of those who are representing the interests of the very RICH!!!
      Hillary will not propel us forward.  At best she will stagnate us.  She has proven she's capable of morphing into a right wing man who wants to keep others down.  She voted for unnecessary war (whatever her excuse), but her daughter of enlistment age did not enlist.  As did not the Bush twins.  Now they are extremely upwardly mobile women, having children while other people's children died for a lie.  What have they done for the cause of justice?  

      Please, proceed...

      When posting, F*@k "grammatically correct".

    •  Thanks for your first comment Terlingua Kid. (0+ / 0-)

      The use of capitalizing sentences is severely frowned upon here...and generally is, well, hated as the equivalent of screaming at people. Also, for longer quotes if youi use the "blockquote" function (the button that says "Blockquote" at the bottom of the box where you type your comment) it will be easier for other to read and follow. Best of luck.

      Welcome to Daily Kos. If you have any questions about how to participate here, you can learn more at the Community Guidelines, the Knowledge Base, and the Site Resource Diaries. Diaries labeled "Open Thread" are also great places to ask. We look forward to your contributions.
       ~~ from the DK Partners & Mentors Team.

      It will never happen for the first time until it does.

      by catilinus on Sun Jul 20, 2014 at 01:35:30 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Boudicas Child (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    WOW! Your eloquence is admirable. I tried to give a speech like this at a meeting of retirees at a Sun City AZ Legislative District meeting. I tried to ask rebels of the 60 and 70's why they have conformed to "how it is". Why are they so set on protecting their turf when 40-50 years ago they were willing to get their head busted or be arrested.

    The truth of it is, few are willing to sacrifice for the many. Everyone who has done ok doesn't want to give up what they have. They watch as uncaring politician fight and argue and demoralize America. As I watched Robert Reich's documentary Inequality for All, I saw learn that the separation of rich and poor in America has grown exponentially and makes us one of the worst countries for economic equality. All the business words thrust on Americans in the last 40 years, "globalization", "out-sourcing", and "union bashing" are a game plan for protecting the rich from redistribution of wealth in any way possible including use tax avoidance at any cost to America. Oh my god, did I say redistribution of wealth, does that make me a commie. Yeah right when my grandparents escaped the pogroms of Communist Russia to come to America to get some of the "gold".

    I hate Communism or communism. I hate lying industrialists and financiers and bankers who don't give a damn about America. My grandmother opened her tiny apartment to anyone who needed a place to sleep in the late 40's. She feed those who were hungry although her husband was a meager tailor.

    Well, I have vetted my anger Boudicas Child and maybe others, young, older and currently indifferent, will get angry.

  •  So, which is it ... (0+ / 0-)

    Given The Record ... not your or my opinions ... which would you say is true:

    - American was a land of opportunity and now transformed by and for the opportunists.

    - Corporate America has hijacked what little of our representative government we had left.

    - Corporations are only people in that people run them. As such, to steal a popular phrase, "it's the people, stupid".

    - The Reagan / Republican economic theory of "trickle down economics" works ... just not like they want us to think.  FACT= it is trickling down ... less and less all of the time.

    - The so called Republican Party no longer exists, though they continue to use its once honorable tag. How can you mix so many neo-cons, Tea Party and Libertarian types and still call the result "Republican"?

    - Today's so called Republicans fear those who put and keep them in office to the extent that if they don't do as they are told they will be challenged and most likely removed from office.

    - Several (honest) Republicans have resigned in recent years admitting that they could no longer function as individuals, but rather march to the Koch, et al, drummers.

    - To understand the person that we send to Washington we need to see their stand on certain mattes and issues in the way of votes ... isn't it funny how the Republican Party decides on what can come up for a vote? Why do the stop our elected reps from voting?  (Think about it).

    Oh well, you probably get the idea by now ... if you don't, keep right on watch Faux Views and listening to Rush  and Sarah ...

  •  coverage for men (0+ / 0-)

    I don't know if anyone brought this up already but I'm curious about something...If a man has the same coverage as the women, does that mean if the man decides to get a vasectomy then is that procedure disqualified? Or if after the woman has a baby if she then decides to get her tubes tied is that covered? I know more than 1 woman who after having one or two kids got their their tubes tied so I know it's not uncommon. Just wondering..

  •  Good diary (0+ / 0-)

    thanks for sharing.

    Like so many others here, I can identify....somewhat.
    I was in the catholic Italian American segment and came of age in the sixties.
    I was lucky enough to have a father who instilled in me the notion that no matter how many times society said "no" (no, you can't play Little League, no, you can't be in the Soap Box's boy's only, no college is not needed for women), I did not have to accept it was what I perceived from my dad, that I was capable of beings as good as any boy in anything I chose to try.

    While I went to college and was lucky enough to be a teacher at a time when teachers were pushing for workplace equity, for better and more fair pay for ALL teachers and was able to live comfortably well, I understand your anger about financial equity, (I had to have my father co sign to buy my first car even though at that time, I was making more than my dad).

    Still as a heterosexual female who has stayed single, not have children, I am often perceived, not as an independent free to do as I wish woman (the counterpart to the dashing male bachelor), but as the "spinster, the woman no one wanted to marry (inconceivable to some that a woman could want to choose to not marry).  For the record, I have nothing against men. Have had many relationships, many male friends.    So I have lived this life as a solo.  It has advantages and disadvantages.   As a teacher, I was able to connect with children in a way, not as intimate/influential as a parent, but still an influence.  I remain in touch with many former students, some well into their fifties.   As a single female, I never felt the pressure to hide, suppress my  views  to make a male partner feel more comfortable, smarter......whatever.  Yes, there are many in my peer group (late sixties in age) who still feel the need to tell me  their views in the pronoun "we think, we believe, we support".     Often these "we" views are 180 degrees from what I know my female friend once believed.  
    As well I was often NOT or UNinvited to gatherings (not so much now because there are so many widows, divorcees in my age group) cause ya know, even numbers for seating? couples uncomfortable around a single female? daring challenge political views of their spouses?  Pick one.  To this day, more than a few female friends prefer me to NOT talk politics with their republican husbands.   Apparently my daring to challenge their views makes life hard for their wives.  Go figure.

    Anyway, welcome to Dkos, keep posting, writing, sharing.  Not everyone here is agrees with everyone else and that is good.  Diversity of beliefs makes us all challenge ourselves to keep informed, keep thinking, keep fighting the status quo.

    “We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both.” Louis D. Brandeis

    by Jjc2006 on Sun Jul 20, 2014 at 06:50:14 AM PDT

  •  Great post (0+ / 0-)

    ... But, why do you strong women need to clarify they have "nothing against men"? As strong women, we need to stop apologizing for our power, and stop cowering for approval when we show it.

    Corporations have neither bodies to be punished nor souls to be damned.

    by cybersleuth58 on Sun Jul 20, 2014 at 07:16:37 AM PDT

  •  Now that's what I call fire! (0+ / 0-)

    So, I'm basically in love with her already. :)

    Been looking for a woman like this for, uhm, for my whole adult life.  I married the exact opposite of her and was miserable for 1/2 of my marriage because of it.  It almost killed me.

    I wish more women were like her.

  •  "See what years of wage slavery and poverty does? (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    It warps you."  Know that the warp you speak of is not so much a personal failing as a crack created thru adversities and into which the Frank Luntz, Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, and Ann Coulters of the world stick their mestastitsies.  Don't worry though, you are a thoughtful and caring person and so practice a personal chemo against their malevolent efforts.

  •  A moving diary post ... (0+ / 0-)

    ... that in one place exactly addresses one acquaintances opposition to raising the minimum wage: "that it would make my wage closer to the minimum ." I've quoted you in my article on "Why Unions and a Minimum Wage Are Necessary" in the section: "Wages of Other Jobs Would Increase Too" Thank you. .

  •  Wow. I clicked on this just thinking (0+ / 0-)

    I'd figure out what the title "hook" was about and then move on.  But I couldn't put it down.  This was righteously eloquent.

    Just want to say, don't condemn yourself for any unsavory feelings you've caught yourself falling into toward your fellow humans.  At least you've identified them, which puts you in a state that's far more aware than the person who's mindlessly fallen into those mental traps.  That means the world, as long as you stay cognizant of them and their consequences in the bigger picture beyond yourself.  Many (most?) don't get there.

  •  Anger and frustration (0+ / 0-)

    I love your point of view.  I'm so angry that voters are so apathetic that they won't even vote to make changes.  We are victims of a unresponsive government and the public abdicates their responsibility to change it.

    Our "representatives" are satisfied to enrich themselves and their friends while ignoring their duty to their constituents. Spending millions upon millions of dollar on self aggrandizement while bullying someone on national TV does not get our children educated, our roads maintained or any other useful task which would benefit from money were it well spent.  I hate politicians and organized religion. These 2 are responsible for most of the worlds miseries.  

    Take a look, even people of the same faith hate each other and endeavour to annihilate each other, all in the name of a god.  Not one sane individual has ever personally seen their god, or any god for that matter.  In the name of some unseen god, little good and much unspeakable evil is done.  

  •  not that easy (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    I was always fascinated with your (Americans) habit to ignore what your country is doing abroad. Yet you're always doing that. Lady wrote a letter that shows her writing skills. Hardly anything else. You know, I am looking through the window... Not so far away 15 years ago your military pilot shot a passenger train, for fun's sake, I'm sure. And your general who was in charge of that action is now respected businessman selling dirty technology around the world. It's easy to say bad, bad catholic church, but dogma is still ok. It's even more easy to repeat word progressive like a broken mechanical parrot. Or, yeah, if you're brave enough you can mention distribution... You can't be progressive or "fighter" ignoring crimes your country commited.

  •   You could be so many of us.. (0+ / 0-)

    right down to the Catholic thing..Well done!! Women will make this election. We've had enough.

    •  of what? (0+ / 0-)

      You've had enough. Of what? Albright and Clinton made the difference? Somehow I didn't notice. Man or woman, republican or democrat (like they're not the same), christian this or that (like they're not the same),  your politicians are brutal, greed and ignorant. Face it.

  •  I share your concerns and hope I can get (0+ / 0-)

    a little more angry and a little more willing to 'act up' in support of our rights as women. I came of age in the late 70's when many women were learning not to be afraid to speak up in spite of male ridicule and backlash. The current reality is so far removed from what we all were expecting way back then. Are we really going back to those hideous days when women's inferiority to men was taken for granted by the majority?

     Sometimes it feels like a tightrope act; a woman is expected to balance all aspects of her life gracefully, while surrounded by those who are waiting for her to fall or even trying to push her off that narrow rope of success. Your voice is a reminder to stay focused and keep on moving forward.

  •  why is this woman angry? (0+ / 0-)

    You have indeed raged against the machine. While we may not be able to wreck the machine, we can certainly jam up the cogs and make it take notice of us. If it gets jammed up enough times, it may change in some small way.

    This is what has to be done. Keep jamming it on whatever issue you hold dear and if enough people join you, a change may be effected.

    A machine will not change of it own accord. It has to be changed from the outside. We are that change.

  •  just a thought from a male (0+ / 0-)

    Seems to me that a large percentage of all women would be better served by not getting involved in marriages and having children as single women--either through intercourse or a fertilization procedure.  Men have plenty of interests other than reproduction and the family--especially nowadays.  Even if a woman finds a nice urbanite male who is not abusive, there's still a good chance he doesn't have the same level of interest in "family" as a woman might hope.

  •  Why soo Angry?? (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Loved what I read.  I am a recovering Cathoholic for 47 years (you can use that line if you like)!  Really, that's not a big issue for me in this discussion, except that I learned to question, if not disrespect authority from my catholic grade school experiences!  
    All I want to say is I'm glad I read this diary excerpt, RIGHTON, and I feel your anger so much of the time I feel like a walking powder keg.....ready to explode at almost anytime.  My mother taught me the respect of the underdog that has never left me.  I find very few people that feel that as strongly as I do.  I've run pretty dry on hope for the world and respect for this country (Yeah NSA....I guess that makes me someone to watch even more now).  Your energy and conviction inspire me to not fall into that rut....but, you know Lily Tomlin said it best: I'd be a cynic.....but it's so hard to keep up!
    Keep smoldering and keep fighting with your words.

  •  Excellent! (0+ / 0-)

    Your diary is worth reading, and provides truth on so many levels. It is funny how far this country has fallen because the GOP insist on catering to the rich. When you look at the past struggles of this country what has always prevailed was the concept of improving the lives of our people. Sure there were people who didn't want to improve their lives, an continued to live in poverty, but most american's wanted a better life for themselves and their loved ones, and unlike other countries that worked at repressing it's people and kept them under its control, our government help us in finding ways to improve our lot in life.

    But now our country looks more like the Iran, Iraq, Israel, Hamas, etc. We may not be firing rockets, and bombs at one another as the other countries are doing, but the infighting in our government has weakened this country, and because of this other countries are trying to possess us, or weaken us even more. Because they are seeing weaknesses that they never saw before our allies are losing confidence in us, in our ability to help stabilize everything from economies, to unrest in Israel, and Hamas, and countries like Russia or China are looking to repress us further, to topple our country, and the GOP continue to help them.

    The GOP has thrown in their lot with the likes of Rove, the Koch's and the religious zealots who are taking us back to Roman times, where wealth made you King, individualism was repressed and toeing the line mandatory, Women must obey their husbands, and if not married, they must obey their fathers, or the male role model in their life, they must not have a thought of their own and if unmarried remain under the males roof. Those born into poverty remain in poverty, the chance to better oneself is not an option, all subjects must follow the rules of the elite few.

    This was not the picture that our forefathers had for this country, but the wealthy have spoken, and instead of us moving forward and helping our fellow man in improving his life, they are repressing us, and turning back the clock.

    What a sad state for a once great nation!

  •  Congratulations in casting off the shackels... (0+ / 0-)

    of the Catholic religious indoctrination.  I was also raised catholic and in high school began to seen the huge discrepancy between what was taught versus reality.  Truthfully I did not know Jewish people were still alive since we were taught they were the killers of Christ 2000 years ago. Such was the sheltering propaganda of religion.  Virtually all religions oppress and control women so as to insure a steady supply of religious warriors.  Empowering women so they can make their own decisions will eventually lead to a decline of religious power and the relevance of religious institutions.  Not soon enough in my opinion.

  •  The forces of fear cannot win in the long run (0+ / 0-)

    Things do look bleak for women's rights in the U.S. at the present time, but I am convinced that women in this country cannot be beaten down for long here. I feel certain that the Republican bullies have chosen the wrong group as their sacrificial goat.

    Why do I feel so confident, even when the road ahead appears so dark? Because I am certain that the gains achieved by women since the 1970s cannot be rolled back. I might be wrong, but I think it will prove impossible to take contraceptive pills and devices away from the millions of women who already use them.

    The availability of safe, reliable contraception created the biggest boost in women's autonomy in the history of our species. Surely today's women are not going to let it disappear.

    "We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet." -- Stephen Hawking

    by dratman on Mon Jul 21, 2014 at 07:01:11 AM PDT

  •  You are not alone in the fight (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    The pen is truly mightier than the sword. All women have the power to change the world. My wife has decided to battle as well for the future of our beautiful daughter. I have a great respect for the power of the pen!

  •  You go girl! (0+ / 0-)

    It is the passive stay-at-home women that the conservatives depend on for 50% of their vote.  They need their women dumb, compliant, and un-questioning.  

    YOU are the very thing that keeps the conservatives up at night with worry.  YOU threaten the good-ol'-boy system.  You threaten the masters, the men that feel entitlement, self entitlement, that they don't wish anyone else to have.  You are a threat to the greed-mongers, the people that don't feel happy unless they are the only ones happy.  You threaten those that hate, for your questions "why" can never be answered any better than "because"... and they hate that most of all.  They hate that you make them look stupid, but what they don't realize is that they were already stupid.  They hate that you don't buy into their fiction.

    This world needs many more of you.  Spread your anger, train new generations of women to think for themselves.  You said your dad taught you to think like a man, no he just taught you to think for yourself... and that form of thinking is so much more than just "thinking like a man".

  •  I love this diary. (0+ / 0-)

    I love this diary.

  •  angry explosions of words (0+ / 0-)

    you obviously hit a nerve. And your anger seems justified, but sadly your struggles have left you unsatisfied.... !
    I was such an idealist, I too thought hard work and integrity provided success..... oh, I was not hungry or cold, but it irked me there were people who were....and I should have had more for the time i spent, but I learned
    Everyone is running around trying to make things better,  well, better BY THEIR DEFINITION OF BETTER!
    BUT,   IF you or ANYONE  getS in their way, don't expect to be welcomed!  

    Better to be the leader with fruitful results than the fighter!

    As my friend asked me when i could no longer accept an unjust situation I was expected to endure....

    Nievity, I discovered much too late,  was my enemy !  After being fired from 5 firms, I discovered I did 6 times better with my own firm!  Talk about Nievity!
    Once I was in control of myself, and pursuing work I was capable of, it helped others a lot, because rather than trying to correct others, I just did it right myself in my own sphere of supporters.  It was so much simpler!
    Simplicity allows one to stay in control. And knowing the basic of human nature leads to success!

    1st truth.  Give a person purpose, value and a sense of worth and you give them their life (that works for leaders of good AND make your choice.)
    2nd truth People will always remember how you made them feel, but rarely what you said.
    3rd truth Honey draws more flies than vinegar.
    4th You will always find some people to rally around you (ie Palin, Bachmann)
    SO, if you are angry, remember people like Margaret Thatcher, Nancy Pelosi...they spent their time consistently pursuing their causes by giving people purpose and making them glad they were alive!
    but not by ranting and raving or wasting their time screaming ''they are wrong, i am right'...

    they just kept being realistic and  plugged along, winning friends along the way!
    by the fruits of your labor you will be known.  Remember
    Judas?.....He sold out his best friend for political reasons, look who prevailed (and I don't mean the humans that twisted what Judas' BF actually said! )
    Do you want to improve things the way you see it, ie better life for the oppressed...? As people in history have  proven time and time again
    Beat the oppressor at his game ..."kill 'em with kindness".  It's more enduring and brings a lasting victory.... and usually more personal reward.     Take it from someone who learned it the hard way! LOL

  •  My generation helped to free women (0+ / 0-)

    and in the last few years it has be scary and anger inducing to watch so many of the progress get undone. I've said for a long time that young women take things for granted since they've never known anything different. They need to get involved and FIGHT BACK.

  •  The lofty ideal that "All men are created equal... (0+ / 0-)

    Is a big, fat lie. Thanks to the favorable treatment given to large corporations and the 1% of the wealthiest individuals, coddled and enabled by the government's laws and policies, the rest of us peons can just go pound sand. The opportunities to get ahead, to "pull oneself up by one's bootstraps," have been lessening to the point of becoming virtually obsolete. A person who is BORN poor in our country nowadays is likely to REMAIN poor for the rest of their lives, along with their children and their children's children, and on and on. It's much more likely that downtrodden people born today will become even MORE disadvantaged in the future, with little or no chance to improve their lot in life.

    To keep the 99% down, every branch of our federal government -- Legislative, Executive and Judicial -- is enacting new laws, developing policies and making decisions that help the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. At every turn, our choices and opportunities are becoming more and more limited. More of our rights are disappearing right before our eyes every single day.

    Thanks to Budicous Child for posting this diary, describing her own personal story of just how unfair life can be in America today. Also, this diary explains how we can channel our anger into finding meaningful, effective and productive ways to effect positive change. Don't get MAD, get EVEN. Join together to petition, march, protest, boycott, do whatever it takes to get the attention of the local, state and federal governments, and let them know what we think, that we're taking action, and we're willing to do whatever it takes to turn this country around and become a land of opportunity and equality once again.

    Still, the 99% have SO MANY problems to address. Attempts to keep people from voting, instead of encouraging a fair and open election process. Weakened workers' unions and rights. The failing and crumbling public education system. Forcing Corporate America, Big Oil, Wall Street and rich folks to pay their fair share of taxes, instead of giving them more tax breaks and allowing them to stash much of their profits in offshore accounts. Repair and replace a crumbling infrastructure. Enforce the environmental and worker safety laws, and make large corporations become compliant with regulatory agencies such as the EPA and OSHA. An unfair judicial and penal system, with minorities and poor folks comprising the majority of our prison population. Enacting reasonable gun control legislation. Extending more help, including tax incentives, to small business owners. Developing a single-payer universal health insurance policy. Keeping in place the government programs that provide social entitlement benefits to poor families, such as food stamps, Section 8 housing and utilities assistance. Improve and strengthen Medicare and Social Security. Stop treating military veterans like crap, and instead give the honor and benefits to which they're fully entitled. Lower college tuition rates. Make laws that strengthen and support community banks. Break up the big Wall Street banks and put an end to "too big to fail" once and for all, and provide government oversight via regulatory agencies and policies that would bring the big investment banks into compliance with the current, and newly-passed, banking regulations. Jobs creation and improve job training and education opportunities so people can increase their worth in the workplace. People are working more for less, and paying higher prices for less consumer goods. Raise the minimum wage to $10.10 per hour. Fix Congress, and make them learn to compromise and work along with the President. Enact term limits and campaign finance reform in Congress and repeal the Supreme Court's Citizens United decision. Fill judicial vacancies promptly. Uphold and increase women's reproductive health laws and enforce Roe v. Wade. Immigration reform and protecting our borders. Passing laws and increasing the available facilities where addicts and alcoholics can go to overcome substance abuse problems. Gang violence and the drugs/guns trade. AND A PLETHORA OF OTHER PROBLEMS! (This was merely a list I typed as I brainstormed, in no particular order, and I'm sure there are many other issues to be addressed to make life easier and more hopeful for the 99%. Feel free to add them.)

    Basically, until the playing field is leveled, we regular folks will never be able to get ahead. The pessimism, despair, and lack of hope and equality existing among We The People are beating us down to the point of conceding defeat. Unless we want our country to become a full-out oligarchy, a return to a feudal state, then there must be a return to equality for all. Until and unless there is a level playing field for ALL that allows us to have hope for the future, then the American Dream is dead.

  •  Woohooo !! What a woman! (0+ / 0-)

    God bless you B.C.
    Excellent story. Tears came to my eyes reading it.
    I'm a man so I can't say I know exactly how you feel but I too have railed against the status quo in anger all my life. Since I was able to articulate my beliefs and opinions I have been angry. Literally. For years I thought there was something wrong with me but I figured out years ago that the way the world works is wrong and I can't accept it for what it is and it makes me angry. It's unfair and unjust. So much suffering created out of fear instead of creating beauty out of love. I believe that I will either be angry all of my life or the world will change into a more just one (not much on compromise on this one).
    I was raised Catholic as well and put down and disregarded for my observations into the gross inconsistencies of organized religion especially the Catholic Church. Mostly I was looked on in shock and dismay for raising such questions.
    I am male, I am white, I am middle aged, but I feel for the suffering of everyone at the hands of those that don't believe in equality. I work for any cause where someone is suffering unjustly at the hands of someone else. I'm egalitarian to almost a fault. I've found the ground gained for LGBTs over the recent years in America to be very hopeful. My fundamentalist family don't appreciate my views too much but I'm hoping to win them over.

    Keep fighting warrior.

    Thanks for the great arcticle. One of the best I've read here so far.

  •  angry too (0+ / 0-)

    Ditto your remarks. I of Irish/German descent, adopted by an Italian. I never really fit in to the parochial attitudes of a small, Midwestern town, and I rejected Catholic teachings since I was in the seventh grade. I abhor the idea that the "investor class" of this country deserves more credit and breaks than the laborers who built the great monuments, dams, highways and buildings, the service workers who go unseen and unnoticed in this country. I applaud your tirade and look forward to further posts. More than criticism however, is how citizens like us can stand up against the bigoted, misogynistic, anti-union forces that award corporate investors and CEO's over those who struggle to put food on the table.  

  •  The oppressed, 'Middle Class' (what's left of it) (0+ / 0-)

       I was just talking dental insurance with a temp worker who'd moved from Texas to Central New York w/ her hubby and son. She can afford the $9/month health ins. premium for her son, but not for herself and spouse.

        She made a comment to the effect that it was time caucasians got a little help. She was doing the dutiful telephone sales thing, where "this call may be monitored for [whatever purpose], and I asked her if she'd heard of the National Surveillance Agency, listening in on everything.

         She jumped to the conclusion that I wanted her tape to be turned off. I said, no, no, not at all. I don't mind the [insurance co] tape. I have a larger issue with the NSA. Have you heard about Edward Snowden? She had not. Well, I said, Snowden did the world the yeoman service of exposing the National Surveillance Agency's completely unconstitutional conduct with warrantless, dragnet eavesdropping--so it really makes no difference if you turn off your tape or not--the NSA (they call themselves a "security" agency, but provide none. Surveillance? Yes, that they can and do provide, particularly because it's so easy to do in our "sort of open society" where we're not used to omnibus, ubiquitous spying, and actually think we're protected from it, and so don't provide our own security and privacy.

        She also did not know about how the non-federal, no-reserve so-called federal reserve system works.

        Then it struck me how brilliant, absolutely brilliant are the tactics of the 1%: Strip manufacturing and other middle class jobs from the United States. Trigger a series of huge financial crises, so people have: no jobs, no homes, no retirement funds, no college funds--polluted air, polluted water—all to reduce the 99% to a Third World Status. Then start driving "undocumented aliens" (these are people from Mars, Saturn, perhaps non-hominids, who also lack "immigration papers, right?) over the gaping wide borders of the US. If masses of adults seeking work don't do the trick (to start a race war), well then, drive (as in a cattle drive) children over the border.

         The effect of this is to have the newly impoverished "whites" start fighting with Mexicans, Hispanics, 'the beige people'. Reminds me of a mythological tale in which a mass of troops springs up from the ground and a clever soul (he of the 1%), completely outnumbered, threw a rock into their midst, and the soldiers blamed one another and commenced fighting amongst themselves, 'til they all were dead. {Jason & the Golden Fleece, maybe?]

         Just think how brilliant this tactic of the 1%, or 0.01% is, this tactic (or is it their global strategy?) to get the masses fighting over a dwindling supply of goodness, of resources--resources that are dwindling, because the 1% have been looting the nation since 1913 (and really, before that, but not so easily as the "federal" "reserve" "system" made it: print "debt," collect interest. And the 1% will do this forever, unless we end the fed, or the planet, somewhat sooner than that.

        While race battles race, the 99% against the 99%, the white 1%, the banksters, the "federal" "reserve" bank owners (of those 12 "national" regional banks) continue to rake in the interest--while the 99% fight among themselves for table scraps, as it were, too distracted by that fight to identify and then defend themselves against those who are really causing our misery. There is no "class warfare" here, because there is only one class—the 1%, the plutocracy, the banksters--who control all the resources--money, police, army, navy, air force, marines, CIA, NSA. About all the 99% have is "our lives and our sacred honor," as someone once wrote (clue: look at the back of your $2 bill.)

         Remember when killing adults and older children didn't work to get the "public" to force gun owners to disarm? (And the response, sensibly, was to buy more weapons). They (IMHO) took the ultimate in emotional tactics, and purportedly killed a couple dozen infants. That hasn't worked either--perhaps next we'll have a reprise in "the Homeland" of "They ripped the babies out of the incubators and left them on the cold, cold concrete floor to die!! Remember that one?

          As incredulity, mixed with a cautionary empathy, helps us bridge the "Newtown Massacre," so now we should mix our distrust of government with empathy for those being made to suffer. That is, we had best work together as the 99%, to form a more perfect Union, of We the 99%, establish Justice for the 99%, insure domestic Tranquility for the 99%, provide for the common defense of the 99%, not the 1%--they've got their own (and our) defenses, which are everywhere, a little bit at a time, being used against the 99% already.  And if we can defend ourselves successfully from the depredations of the 1%, we might have world enough and time to promote the GENERAL Welfare, not "private" Welfare for Wall Street, the Oil Patch, the Military Industrial Complex, Big Pharma (or Big Chem). And when we get that general Welfare promoted, perhaps we could aspire to secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity.

        Were not these the purposes for which We the People of the United States…[did] ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America? I'm fairly certain that it was NOT for merely the 1% (who, back then, also had most of the money, the land, the houses, the molasses-smuggling ships. But back then, they didn't have a standing army. They had to rely on guys like Daniel Shays and his fellow farmers. And "a well regulated Militia," to throw off the yoke of tyranny.

          I heard the late Garrick Utley, of NBC News, exclaim, around 9/11, "Who writes this stuff?!" Well, in the case of the Kuwaiti "incubator incident," we know it was Hill and Knowlton staff who "wrote this stuff."  In the case Utley was referencing, the "Miracle On Liberty Street" or "The Immaculate Deception"--a "hijacker's" unscathed passport "found" on the sidewalk, we'll have to hurry up and get our New 9/11 Investigation game on, to find out who planted the passport, and in general  to quench the tsunami of deceit and lies the Government Of The 1% has been dishing out for lo, these past 13 years.

         And remember this "obscure" quote from Adam Smith, who's been styled by the banksters of The 1% as "the father of free markets" for his one and only mention of "an invisible hand" in all his works?

    [Quote]: Laws and government may be considered in this and indeed in every case as a combination of the rich to oppress the poor, and preserve to themselves the inequality of the goods which would otherwise be soon destroyed by the attacks of the poor, who if not hindered by the government would soon reduce the others to an equality with themselves by open violence.[end quote]
       Adam Smith—Tuesday, Feb. 22, 1763; lecture series on Laws & Jurisprudence. Page 208, facsimile (PDF) version, Complete Works, vol 5. preceding footnote 59.

         Does that sound like the sentiments of a "laissez faire swashbuckling FreeMarketeer"? (A FreeMarketeer is like a Mouseketeer, but far, far more malign.) Adam Smith was a bit more "nuanced" than one "invisible hand". And he started it all with "a paper of pins"--remember the kids' tune, I gave my love a paper of pins (repeat)...and that's the way that/our? love begins. Sounds so benign.

        The late Howard Zinn pointed this Adam Smith quote out to a gang of folks crammed into a small conference room at the Kennedy school of government. Remember Kennedy? Both John and Bobby and John Jr.? John was assassinated by probably four Lone Gunmen. And Oswald wasn't one of them. [See YouTube: "The Men Who Killed Kennedy," in nine parts.] He pointed out this more nuanced side of Smith. He also suggested that such things as Daniel Shays' Rebellion (though it came after the Constitutional convention was called) perhaps had a great deal to do with the push for a national government--the restive citizens of the colonies, having fought a war of separation--it wasn't a "revolution," because the same folks remained in power after the killing as they had before--a federal government because they needed a federal army to protect their power and property.

        Not to claim that our slow, deliberate march from a representative republic to a Fascist Plutocracy "all began with 11/22/1963," but the Plutocracy was surely emboldened by the ease with which they could muster such death-dealing, destruction and cover-up when they controlled the office of the president, CIA, NSA and the rest of the spy apparatus, some or all of the Supreme Court (at least the chief justice), Congress (at least Jerry Ford), the FBI (under Hoover it was For Blackmailing Individuals or For Bombing Innocents), a mercenary army of "displaced Cubans" and "displaced Mafia Casinos".  Wotta team!

        Of course, now that there is no draft, we have a large, standing army, increasingly integrated with the Guardia Nacional, state and local police, who all are given "Army Surplus" to "up-arm" and up-armor themselves, against the passive 99%, in case they/we happen to wake up before martial law is declared--that "Continuity of Government" thing, wherein the executive branch ignores the Constitution's requirement that Congress is the branch to establish the order of succession, if necessary, beyond the vice president:


    In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected. Article II, §1, ¶4
       As many people have urged we do in order to find the origin of our troubled and unbalanced times, Follow The Money (and power). The "undocumented aliens," whatever their planet of origin, have no money. They have no power. Do not look to them for the source of our misery. Look to the internal "central private banking cartel," the dozen "fed" banks, the Bank of England in the private City of London, the International Monetary Fund (which "loans" booby-trapped funds to "developing countries," strips them of their assets, (see Confessions of  an Economic Hit Man), impoverish their people to starve them out or drive them out of their native land--sometimes across the borders to the US--to fuel civil war amongst the 99% already here.  By the way, the stone-thowers in our society are the 1%. They control government and multi-national corporations (remember when "we the people" bought Chrysler, now called Chrysler Group LLC, for the banksters?). And the stones now can be the spectacular acts of terrorification which give rise to societal fear and trembling.

        When we start getting uppity, or our fear-factor dissipates, the 1% need only trot out someone like Darth Cheney, who wars that, Yes, there will be another 9/11; even worse than 9/11.  Why is it, though, that the interviewing Fourth Estate members, do not ask the obvious follow-up question: "Mr. Cheney, can you then please tell us  the time and day when you have scheduled this New Nine-Eleven (or New New Pearl Harbor) your next theater act of terror, please? The next "furball of fear" to tie knots of fear in our alimentary canals?" (Some have called all the various "terror" and "false flag" events The Theater of Fear, and pointing out that, just as the case of Vietnam, Operation Northwoods, 9/11 (in the US, with  off-Wall Street road shows in Spain & the UK--like Off Broadway, on the Terror Theater circuit), members of the 1% are the playwrights.


  •  ....WUT (1+ / 2-)
    Recommended by:
    Hidden by:
    scoop, despaminate3000

    "my father had taught me to think like a man"

    WOW that's some internalized sexism there.

    Actually this whole article is written in a tone of "I'm an exceptional woman. I'm not like those other women", to which I can only say lolwtf.

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