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Last Thursday, Jon Stewart looked at Sarah Palin's call for impeachment, and the lawsuit ploy John Boehner is using instead.

Don't tell me you can't squeeze one little tyrant impeachment in your busy schedule of not passing laws. What's really going on here?
DICK CHENEY (7/15/2014): I think that gets to be a bit of a distraction, just like the impeachment of Bill Clinton did.

REP. JOHN DUNCAN, R-TN (7/15/2014): Another thing, it would fire up the base of the Democrats more than an impeachment action ... that it would turn off some of the independents who are right now leaning our way.

Yeah, and all that is really how you know all this talk of tyranny is bullshit. Because when your main concern about deposing a tyrant is how it will affect your party's chances in the upcoming midterm elections, that's not tyranny.

Apparently Republicans can't impeach Obama, they can't beat him in an election, they definitely can't work with him, what's left to do? Use SnapChat to draw a dong on his face?

Video and full transcript below the fold.



You may be thinking to yourself, time to have the TV on in the background while I have sex.  Wrong!  Nothing else?  All right.  I'm not even going to tell you what time it is, I'm going to let my friend Sarah do it for me.
SARAH PALIN (7/8/2014): The many impeachable offenses of Barack Obama can no longer be ignored. ... So it's time to impeach.
It's time to impeach!!  Actually, I think it's time to stop checking Sarah Palin's Facebook page, but she posts such cute pictures of baby guns.

Well, since clicking on that page there already caused Facebook to change all my pop-up ads to snow machine and moose clubbing products, let's stay with it.

SARAH PALIN (7/8/2014): Enough is enough of the years of abuse of this President.  His unsecured border crisis, for me, is the last straw.  It makes kinda the battered wife say no más.
(shocked and disgusted audience reaction)

Now, if I may, it appears ex-Governor Palin is finally finished with mangling the English language, and has moved on to making Spanish incomprehensible.  (audience laughter)  She's like a serial killer of language, or whatever the opposite of a Rosetta Stone is.

Anyway, the point is this.  Her point is, the real victim of children fleeing violence in central America is Latina Sarah Palin.  It might be easier to dismiss this call for impeachment as just another serving of Sarah Palin's patented word sausages, if not for the fact that people who didn't quit their elected offices mid-term are echoing it.

REP. DOUG COLLINS, R-GA (12/3/2013): You gotta go up there and you just impeach him.

REP. KERRY BENTIVOLIO, R-MI (8/19/2013): Tell me how I can impeach the President of the United States. ... It would be a dream come true.

REP. MICHELE BACHMANN, R-MN (5/16/2013): There isn't a weekend that hasn't gone by that someone says to me, Michele, what in the world are you all waiting for in Congress?  Why aren't you impeaching the President?

"And I'm like, fuck you, I'm eating!  That's what I said!  I'm at the Olive Garden!  Leave me alone!  Why don't you impeach him yourself, you piece of shit?"

That's my Michele Bachmann impression.

The truth is, for most Republicans, impeachment is probably too good for this President.

REP. MICHELE BACHMANN, R-MN (1/30/2014): He declared himself King Obama.

SEN. RAND PAUL, R-KY (1/16/2013): ... this king complex ...

REP. LOUIE GOHMERT, R-TX (5/16/2014): ... tyrannical despot ...

SEN. MARCO RUBIO, R-FL (6/3/2014): He's become a monarch or an emperor.

REP. LAMAR SMITH, R-TX (2/26/2014): ... totalitarian ...

REP. ALLEN WEST, R-FL (3/13/2012): ... dictatorship ...

REP. JOE WALSH, R-IL (6/16/2012): My God, he's a tyrant.

REP. RANDY WEBER, R-TX (10/4/2013): Tea Partiers knew in the colonies that King George's dictatorial methods wouldn't be tolerated.  We won't tolerate them here! ... I'm Randy Weber, and damn proud to be an American!

(audience laughter)

Why do I get the feeling he shouts that when he jizzes?  (hysterical audience laughter and cheering)

"Ahhh!!  I'm Randy Weber, I'm damn proud to be an Ameri....!!!  Aww, son of a bitch!!!  Ohhhhh!!!!!!

(sings) ♫ My country 'tis of thee

Sweet land of librrrrr...."

(audience laughter and cheering)

I'm quite the acerbic social critic.  Hehehehe.

All right, Randy Weber, damn proud American there, I didn't realize the level of despotism of Obama was so great.  I'm convinced.  Let's rid ourselves of the tyrant.

REP. RANDY WEBER, R-TX (7/15/2014): We do need to do this methodically and correctly, and do it in the right way.  So I don't think it's practical that we impeach him right now, but he definitely deserves it.
Wait, what the wha... huh?  But you just told me the King George of proud to be an American!!!  (audience laughter)

Are you American Randy Weber or not?  Patrick Henry didn't say, "Give me liberty or, if not now, it's fine, I understand.  We're busy."

Come on!  Don't tell me you can't squeeze one little tyrant impeachment in your busy schedule of not passing laws.  What's really going on here?

DICK CHENEY (7/15/2014): I think that gets to be a bit of a distraction, just like the impeachment of Bill Clinton did.

REP. JOHN DUNCAN, R-TN (7/15/2014): Another thing, it would fire up the base of the Democrats more than an impeachment action ... that it would turn off some of the independents who are right now leaning our way.

Yeah, and all that is really how you know all this talk of tyranny is bullshit.  Because when your main concern about deposing a tyrant is how it will affect your party's chances in the upcoming midterm elections, that's not tyranny.

Apparently Republicans can't impeach Obama, they can't beat him in an election, they definitely can't work with him, what's left to do?  Use SnapChat to draw a dong on his face?

(audience laughter)

I mean, yeah.  It'll make you feel better.  But whoa!  Mm... swipe it to the left.

But there's got to be something more effective than impeachment, something more fundamentally more American.

BRIAN WILLIAMS (6/25/2014): Speaker of the House John Boehner said he plans to sue the Obama administration on behalf of the GOP-controlled Congress.
Really.  You think this is gonna fly in court?

(audience laughter)

Really?  Let me tell you something.  All President Obama has to do is throw his briefcase down unexpectedly, you turn your neck, case dismissed.  Boom.  Thank you, Mike Brady, Attorney at Law.  I'm old.

But enough talk, let's get to the action.  What are we suing Obama for?  Whaddaya got there, the Fast & Furious, the Benghazi, the IRS, the floating Muslim terror blimp?  Oops!

CBS (7/11/2014): The suit has to do with the President's executive order back in 2013 postponing the mandate in the Affordable Care Act that requires large employers to provide health insurance to their employees.
Wait, let me get this straight.  The GOP is going to take down our dictator-in-chief with a civil suit accusing him of not properly executing a law they themselves have tried more than 50 times to partly or completely repeal.  (shakes head in disbelief)

But you know what?  I'll take it.  Whether this lawsuit has any merit, whether it's a good check on executive power, I don't know.  I don't have any idea.  But at least, for the first time, the two sides will be forced to deal with each other.  Even if it's through their lawyers.  Finally, we the people will be represented by our elected representatives........' legal representation.  (audience laughter)

As the Founding Fathers envisioned when they were tripping on mushrooms.

We'll be right back.

Jessica Williams also talked about black women's hair in the U.S. military.

On Wednesday, Jon talked about the bad road conditions we have in the U.S. and the bad fix the Congress proposed.

He then talked about CIA agents' complaints about their cafeteria food.

Jon talked with Jerry Seinfeld on Wednesday, and Emma Stone on Thursday.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Mon Jul 21, 2014 at 06:15 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group and Daily Kos.

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