The very first benefit is you will immediately become a ‘people’. Mitt Romney said it best “Corporations ARE people, my friend.” Hard to argue with Mitt. The Supreme Court said so.
So now that we’re incorporated, we need to seriously assess our resources, and by jiminy, turns out we are the owner of the single most important resource in the entire economy. It is indispensable, irreplaceable, and only we women own it. It is our unique capacity to reproduce the human race and furnish a continuous stream of citizens to populate our country. No doctor, lawyer, plumber, teacher, president, laborer, etc., arrived on the planet without the participation of a woman.
It might be wise to ask why this resource is concentrated within the bodies of women, yet is not controlled by them. Can we imagine that if a titan of industry suddenly discovered that he owned outright, the most valuable resource of all, he would generously yield it to the general public with no compensation? Would he let government dictate the permissible utilization of the resource? Hell no! There would be no doubt about his very personal ownership and exclusive management of the resource. He would demand that his decisions concerning its usage be unchallenged. It would be downright Communism for the government to seize the resource that he alone owns. Republicans would be scandalized! There would be costs….
Now that we women are each a closely held corporation, it would be incumbent upon us to acknowledge our religion, Womancipation™, as adherence to that faith will confer upon us an enhanced ‘peopleness’ according to the Supreme Court. The religion to which we adhere would posit our ‘deeply and sincerely held religious belief’ that nature has conferred upon us a singular ability and that the decision as to whether to exercise that ability or not, resides solely within our personal corporation and religious belief. Throughout history, human beings have sought the comfort and reassurance of a religion to understand their place in the universe. And as cultures have aged and history has changed, the shape of religion has evolved. At this time and in this space, Women, Inc. chooses to follow the religion of Womancipation™, in acknowledgement of our unique contribution to the continuity of the human race. We are imbued with the gravest regard for the incredible ability to create life and our religion requires that we will not create life with frivolous disregard of circumstances.
Mindful that pregnancy is a legitimate risk to our personal well-being and could constitute an adverse consequence to our existing family should our health be compromised, or should death occur, our religion would advise that a woman considering childbearing, or having pregnancy thrust upon her through aggression, has a moral obligation to examine every alternative and consequence. The religion of Womancipation™ would hold that termination of an inappropriate or undesirable pregnancy is a moral choice and that the decision must be made only by the woman who must assume the risk of childbirth. Given that termination is a far safer procedure than childbirth, our religion would hold that no woman must be compelled to risk her life for the purposes of State objectives which may conflict with her fervently held religious beliefs. Just as the government has respected the pacifist objections to military service by Quakers who may be excused from an enterprise which might cause them to take lives, women adherents of Womancipation™ would not be compelled to produce life against their will and their fervently held religious conviction that at some times and in some circumstances it would be wrong to bring a pregnancy to term.
While all women are welcome to join Women, Inc. and embrace Womancipation™, not all women will seek membership. We cherish our fervently held religious convictions but we do not evangelize and would no more attempt to interfere with the beliefs of others, than we would tolerate the coercion of our members to live by doctrinal precepts which conflict with our First Amendment Rights to practice our faith as we see fit.
We hold that consistent with recent Supreme Court decisions our corporate and religious tenets will be protected from government overreach by all the regulations which protect other corporations. The state and federal legislatures do not interfere in the production goals of Chevrolet, Ford or Chrysler. Nor do they qualify or interfere in the practices of other religions. Our corporation, Women, Inc. and the religion of Women, Inc., Womancipation™ will be similarly immune from meddling.