From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
I Have Nothing to Say About Netroots Nation Detroit. Except…
"Gracias Gracias Gracias!" to the management and staff at Vicente's Cuban Cuisine for the incredible job they did hosting the DKos/C&J dinner, which was attended by over 100 of us America-killing moonbats. Special shoutout to navajo and the Berkeley home office for organizing and sponsoring it. If you live near Vicente's, you should eat there every day for the rest of your life and that's not just me saying that, it's other people too, including the management and staff at Vicente's.
If you ever plan to spend time in the
Renaissance Center, where the hotel
and GM headquarters coexist, it helps to
memorize the floor plan. And take a Valium.
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Friday afternoon we all got fed up with the widespread water shutoffs going on around Detroit, so we hoisted signs, produced actor Mark Ruffalo using a 3-D printer, and took to the streets. Mere hours later, the Water Department agreed to suspend the shutoffs. That should give the city carpetbagger dictator emergency manager time to consider that we can produce Mark Ruffalo as HULK SMASH!!! with a 3-D printer, too.
The Daily Kos Elections staff is comprised of individuals who have two brains stuffed into each of their heads. There is no other explanation for their scary encyclopedi-
iocity, and I'm glad they're on our side.
I'm not sure it was symbolically wise of General Motors to build a gigantic headquarters building in which they cut not some but all corners.
Three things you must absorb: the Thursday sermon by Rev. William Barber, the Friday speech by Senator Elizabeth Warren, and the hilariously-candid Saturday Q&A session (I haven't found audio or video of it yet, but I'll keep lookin') by Howard Dean. Fuse them in your mind, and you become invincible.
Sen. Warren wore orange. I think that's
code for "I always liked you Kossacks best."
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Dear Canada: I trust the boulder we catapulted at you across the Detroit River Saturday night answered your question about how we like Ted Cruz being a 100% American citizen now. Sorry we flattened your rose garden, eh.
The lesson I learned about our opposition at the panels and speeches is that Republicans are bad for America because they think making us all poor and sick and miserable and stupid is good for America. PolitiFact rates this statement TRUEST CLAIM EVER.
Our room at the Marriott hotel had a Bible and a Book of Mormon in it, but no pay-per-view nudie flicks. This explains two things: why I'm giving the convention experience three stars instead of four, and why Republican businessmen always book their rooms at the hotel across the street.
So, in conclusion (for now): Thanks for everything, Michigan. Except your governor.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Note: I want to be absolutely clear on where I stand about Netroots Nation 2015: Yay Phoenix Boo Phoenix. And don’t try to convince me otherwise.
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3 days!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til primary elections in Michigan, Missouri, Washington and Kansas:
14
Days 'til the
Bangor State Fair:
3
Lead of Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder over Democratic challenger Mark Schauer in May and in July:
9 pts., 3 pts.
Democrat Gary Peters' lead over Terri Lynn Land in the Michigan Senate race in May and July:
6 pts., 9 pts.
(Source: EPIC-MRA poll)
Punitive damages awarded by a Florida jury against R.J. Reynolds in a lawsuit filed by the widow of a smoker who died of lung cancer:
$23.6 billion
Number of Medals of Honor President Obama has bestowed as of yesterday:
40
Number of years that
Andy Gove has been lobstering off the coast of Maine since getting his first license in 1937:
77
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
The only running I want to see Fauxahontas Lizzie Warren (Commie--Taxachussetts) doing--is from her rear end!--after a truly bad Mexican meal. I'll provide the bad super hot burritos, aged guacamole, greasy tostadas, and a few cuagamas of Carta Blanca "chaser" to hep "power up" her next campaign event dinner a tad! Free of charge, yet.
---Commenter JBibb at the Michelle Malkin blog
All together now: 1…2…3…
Classy!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Dog, baby, sin, redemption, cheesy calypso music…What's not to like?
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CHEERS to filling the pledge card. So, let's see: he enacted the hate crimes law…repealed 'Don't Ask Don't Tell'…supported marriage equality by dropping the defense of DOMA and recognizing gay marriages at the federal level…eased travel and immigration restrictions on people with HIV…and signed an executive order yesterday banning discrimination against LGBT employees who work for companies with federal contracts. Ladies and germs, we have a Barack Obama LGBT Campaign Promise BINGO! The reaction from PFLAG executive director Jody Huckabee:
"Today feels like a major shift, a tipping point, in ending workplace discrimination for those of us and our family members and friends who are LGBTQ. Today, President Obama made history, signing Executive Orders 11478 and 11246, moving so many more people into the protected column which tens of millions of other Americans might take for granted: being judged in the workplace based on what they do, not who they are or whom they love. And for that, PFLAGers everywhere say thank you."
There's still more to be done, of course, but not by the president. For the rest of Obama's term, we'll all be glaring directly in the faces of the do-nothing Republicans in Congress. Feel free to throw up in your mouth a little at the thought.
Perry and Hannity on the look-
out for kids to freedom strafe.
JEERS to the wrong remedy for the wrong problem. Texas Governor Rick Perry, biceps bared and fresh "Mom" tattoo glistening from his chest, announced that he's got a fool-proof plan to deal with the wave of terrorized Central American women and children refugees seeking asylum by turning themselves in at the border. Old Blood 'n Guts Goodhair is going to
send a thousand National Guard troops down south to push 'em back. But realizing that he's running for president, Perry knows he has to be careful not to appear too heartless, thus explaining why all the tanks will be decked out in Mickey Mouse ears and speakers blaring "It's A Small World." Message: he cares.
CHEERS to purty rhymin' wurds. On this date in 1893, Katherine Lee Bates---a college-educated, latte-slurping Cape Cod liberal elitist---wrote the poem America the Beautiful after visiting an inspiring spot:
"And the Grammy
goes to..."
One day some of the other teachers and I decided to go on a trip to 14,000-foot Pikes Peak. We hired a prairie wagon. Near the top we had to leave the wagon and go the rest of the way on mules. I was very tired. But when I saw the view, I felt great joy. All the wonder of America seemed displayed there, with the sea-like expanse.
It was later set to the hymn "Materna" by Samuel Ward. But only because Snoop Dogg wanted ten million bucks for the rights to "We Just Wanna Party with You."
JEERS to stink spots. I've been asked by several people for my analysis of the situation in Ukraine, where chain-smoking idiot goons who look like they just woke up from a weekend bender shot down a Malaysian Airlines jet using missile technology provided by dick-swinging Russian president Vladimir Putin, who looks like a complete idiot and is now, as the families of the 298 victims mourn and the Russia-backed rebels continue simultaneously picking their noses and swinging their guns around like total fucking morons amid an investigation on the ground that they obstructed by sheer negligence and indifference to forensic science and the fact that they are now hated by just about everyone in the known universe because they just had to push that red "FIRE" button without having a clue what they were doing, trying to figure a way to weasel out of the diplomatic doll-within-a-doll-within-a-doll in which he finds himself trapped like the rat he is. Basically, I have no opinion at this time. More study is needed.
JEERS to a very crowded bench. Did you hear about this? By a vote of 70-20, the Senate rejected the president's proposal to enlarge the Supreme Court by six justices. His plan was denounced as "court-packing" by critics, and we agree. Shaaaaame on you, Mr. President! FDR, that is...July 22, 1937. Nice try, sir, but the thought of 15 Scalias makes my knees wobble.
CHEERS to the man who wanted to be #43, but thankfully wasn't. World War II veteran, Former Senate Majority Leader and 1996 GOP presidential contender (we'll skip his Viagra stint, if you don’t mind) Bob Dole marks the 52nd anniversary of his 39th birthday today. He once said, "If you're hanging around with nothing to do and the zoo is closed, come over to the Senate. You'll get the same kind of feeling and you won't have to pay." But he topped that a year ago with a bit of candor that wasn't exactly appreciated within his team's ranks:
One of these guys
is Senator Bob Dole.
“Could people like Bob Dole, even Ronald Reagan---could you make it in today’s Republican Party?” host Chris Wallace asked Dole on “Fox News Sunday.”
“I doubt it,” Dole said. “Reagan wouldn’t have made it. Certainly, Nixon couldn’t have made it, because he had ideas and…we might have made it, but I doubt it.”
The 1996 presidential nominee went further, saying his party should close up shop until it’s figured things out. “I think they ought to put a sign on the national committee doors that says ‘closed for repairs’ until New Year’s Day next year and spend that time going over ideas and positive agendas,” Dole said.
We hope he enjoys his 91 percent discount at Denny's.
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Five years ago in C&J: July 22, 2009
CHEERS to a heavenly show. Wow! Over in Asia, people were treated to an amazing sight when the sun disappeared for 6 minutes. Scientists believe it was either the longest solar eclipse of the century or Dick Cheney flying to Australia for vacation.
CHEERS to living a squeak-free life. John S. Barry was the guy who made the lubricant WD-40 a household name (it was certainly sexier than its original name, "Rocket Chemical") 40 years ago. He recently died at 84. They say he just slipped away.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to clarity. On the back of our hotel room door in Detroit was a set of printed regulations in accordance with the "Hotel Liability Law for Michigan." I found this one to be particularly helpful:
Can you spot the hidden bullion, precious
stones, train tickets, bank notes, and
personal ornaments in this ladies parlor?
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No innkeeper, who constantly has in his inn a metal safe or reliable vault in good order, and fit for the custody of money, bank notes, jewelry, articles of gold and silver manufacture, precious stones, personal ornaments, railroad mileage books or tickets, negotiable or valuable papers and bullion who keeps on the doors of the sleeping rooms used by his guests suitable locks and bolts, and on the tran bolts (sic) and windows of said rooms suitable fastenings and who keeps a copy of this section pronted (sic) in distinct type constantly and conspicuously suspended in the office and in the ladies parlor of (sic) sitting room, barroom, washroom and in five (5) other conspicuous places in said inn, or in not less than ten (10) conspicuous places in all said inn, shall be liable for the loss of or injury to any such property belonging to any guest, unless such guest had offered to deliver the same to such innkeeper for custody in such metal safe or vault, and such innkeeper has refused or omitted to take it and deposit it in such sage (sic) or vault for custody, and to give such guest a receipt there for (sic): Provided, however, That (sic) the keeper of any inn shall not be obliged to receive from any one guest for deposit in such sage (sic) or vault any property here in (sic) before described exceeding a total value of two hundred fifty ($250.00) dollars, except under special agreement as herainbefore (sic) provided, and shall not be liable for amy (sic) excesses of such property whether received or not, but every innkeeper shall be liable for any loss of the above enumeraled (sic) articles of a guest in his inn, caused by the theft of (sic) negligence of the innkeeper or any of his servants.
And if that doesn't make sense, just do what I did last week: keep your valuables stashed in the secret compartment in your top hat (or bonnet), and never leave home without a sword cane. That's advice you can take directly to the mustache-waxing parlor!
Good to be back. Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Sometimes I feel like saying to Bill in Portland Maine, 'I'm the guy doing my job, you must be the other guy.'"
---President Obama.
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