Everyone is a disappointment to their parents. Neil Armstrong's mom yelled at him for not cleaning up his footprints.
Surgeon General Warning Do not become Surgeon General. All the other generals will give you wedgies and you won't get invited to participate in any of the cool wars.
Leggo my Eggo. Don't lay a finger on my Butterfinger. Don't squeeze the Charmin.
You really should just stop manhandling my groceries.
I'd join the military if it were a run more like a Montessori preschool. I want to learn how to kill at my own pace.
Rock-a-Bye Baby is fucked up. We lull our babies to sleep with a song about some kid falling to his death off a tree. Sweet dreams.
Of course I want fries with that. I'll have fries with everything. I'll have fries with my fries, I don't give a fuck.
Really though, I'm quite the lovely motherfucker once you get to know me.