Skip to main content

Tale of Republican Taming

My neighbor is a Republican of the Woo-Woo variety and I'm just slow on the draw most
of the time. Be that as it may, we talked over the fence the other day and I told him:

"Had a dog once. Convoluted pedigree. So many breeds stirred up in him it was genetic polygamy. OK, he was a mutt.

Neighbors thought the dog was undocumented too, but I had papers from the dog pound.

Thing about that dog was it stuttered real bad. Could never understand what the dog was trying to bark. Kinda drove me nuts if you get the picture.

I mean, come on, what the hell does a bark of: "Ba-ba-ba-ba-borp" and a tail wag mean anyway?

Only saving grace of the dog was that it didn't drool when stuttering. But you know? I thought that dog was brain damaged.

Was always wacking itself up the side of his snoot with his front paws. A real goofy mutt!

Well, I decided to see if I could help that dang dog. Found a woman in the ads that said she could help.

Went to see her and took the dog so she could look him over. She didn't charge for doing that and I wasn't out anything. I mean, what the hell, right?

Anyway, it would cost a grand to help the dog. Hell, my wages were cut twelve years ago and I been making the same since. Bet you are too.

So, I told her I couldn't afford it and I said she could have the dog. At least it was out of my hair and I didn't have to feed it, so that saved me some money. You know?

About two months before I moved in next to you, I got word that the dog was cured. Made me happy for a minute or two.

She not only cured him of stuttering, but that dog could speak perfect English. No wonder the damn dog kept paw-slapping his head. I couldn't understand him because he stuttered and he could actually speak like us.

Woman mated him with a female she had helped earlier that spoke perfect Spanish. When the pups arrived, they were bi-lingual.

She made a fortune off those puppies. I gave away the proverbial goose that lays the golden egg.

That's what I learned."

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site