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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

Hey…Love Yer Sig

Kossack "signatures"---you can create your own in your profile page and it appears every time you post a comment---are a way to draw attention to a favorite quote, link or opinion. Every now and then we pop open random comment threads in search of sigs that amuse, provoke or, worst-case scenario, make us think. Here are some we spotted recently:

“Everyone is ignorant, only on different subjects.” ― Will Rogers (MugWumpBlues)

"Gentlemen, let's get the thing straight, once and for all. The policeman isn't there to create disorder; the policeman is there to preserve disorder." --Richard J. Daley. (Publius2008)

Sig line graphic
Support Thomas Lofgren, progressive candidate for Minnesota house of reps district 20A http://thomaslofgren.us/ (mollyd)

“Conservation… is a positive exercise of skill and insight, not merely a negative exercise of abstinence and caution…” --Aldo Leopold (ban nock)

Slow thinkers - keep right (Dave the Wave)

"Because inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened." --Terry Pratchett (revsue)

 Follow Connect! Unite! Act! for Kossack event info • Follow Native American Netroots for American Indian History and News (navajo)

'A civilization flourishes when people plant trees under whose shade they will never sit' ---Greek Proverb (Janis b)

"If you're in a coalition and you're comfortable, you know it's not a broad enough coalition." --Dr. Bernice Johnson Reagon (Denise Oliver Velez)

No drill, no spill. (scorpiorising)

And this round's winner from NM Ray:
If Money is Speech, Speech isn't Free! I wonder what it is about that that Antonin Scalia cannot understand?
My guess: the part that consists of logic.

As always, we bow to your superior sigging ability. Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, August 26, 2014

New England Kossack Meetup Alert

Circle September 6 on your calendar (or press whatever ya gotta press on your smartphone calendar-circling app).  That's the Saturday that Brillig and Mik are hosting our next Kossack potluck meetup.  They're in the north-of-Boston area, and for details check out nhox42's post here.  For more info and to RSVP, email him at nhox42 [at] gmail.com  This part isn’t in stone yet, but I hear the black helicopters will be giving free rides if you're tall enough to grab the rope ladder.

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National Buffalo Wing Festival logo
HuhHuhHuh...buffalo fart.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the midterm elections: 70
Days 'til the National Buffalo Wing Festival in, um, Buffalo: 4
Percent of the 30 million uninsured who won't have to pay a penalty under the Affordable Care Act because of the 14 exemptions that exist: 90%
(Source: The Week)
Percent of Americans who believe we're winning the "war on drugs": 3%
(Source: Rasmussen poll)
Percent of schoolkids who get less than 8 hours of sleep a night: 45%
Earliest time that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends school should start, which only 15 percent of schools do now: 8:30am
(Source: USA Today)
Drop in sales of Jell-O over the past four years: 19%
(Source: AP)

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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:

It's called Maaaaaaaaaathhhaaaaaa's Vineyaaaaaaaaahhdd, you uncouth peasant! Them Baaaaaaaaassston idiots sure talk funny. At least I dig the way them Georgia Peaches talk. It melts ma heart, they way they call you "hon" and "sugah". Make me want to join the Confederacy.
---ConservaHispanic at the Michelle Malkin Blog
All together now: 1…2…3… Classy!

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  Cool markings on Juneau, the Alaskan Klee Kai.

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CHEERS to the sweetest 10 words in the English language for Tuesday, August 26, 2014: "The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are back tonight."  All else is superfluous.

CHEERS to more LGBT history in the making.  It seems like every circuit court but the Fighting Seventh has had their day to hear arguments fer and agin' marriage equality.  Well, today that all changes.  From the Human Rights Campaign:

Graphic by Freedom to marry of the month of August in terms of same-sex-marriage cases.
Busy month.
The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit will hear arguments in court cases from Indiana and Wisconsin in which federal district courts ruled against the states’ bans on marriage for same-sex couples. Baskin v. Bogan of Indiana---which was consolidated with Lee v. Pence and Midori Fujii v. State of Indiana---and Wisconsin's Walker v. Wolfare are slated to go before a three-judge panel of the Seventh Circuit at 9:30am (Central Time).  [See the plaintriffs here.]  In total there have been twenty federal court rulings against bans on marriage equality across the country---seventeen federal district court rulings and three circuit court rulings upholding district court rulings---all since the U.S. Supreme Court struck down key provisions of the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in United States v. Windsor in June of last year.
I'm sure it'll go fine for our team of lawyers.  But I fear the judges may have the usual trouble with opposing counsel.  They're ankle biters.

CHEERS to letting broads in the booth.  Happy Women's Equality Day!  On August 26, 1920, the 19th Amendment to the Constitution---giving women the right to vote---was certified by Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby.  The female citizenry used their newfound powers to elect second-worst-president-ever Warren Harding.  Ladies, will you ever live that down?

Nina Quidit cleans up the Dollar Plus and Party Supplies Store in American Canyon Calif. after the quake on Sunday, August 24, 2014
Stupid earthquake.
CHEERS to picking up the pieces but JEERS for having so many pieces to pick up.  Who rules the planet?  The planet rules the planet.  And over the weekend Planet Beneath Our Feet sent a 6.0 nastygram to Napa and points north, east, west and south somewhat.  But from what I hear, no one died and the cleanup will be a simple matter of people + time + effort.  For the record, the Napa earthquake wasn't the work of the gays, feminists and pagans.  Due to budget cuts we can only afford to do hurricanes.  I think earthquakes are Pat Robertson's baby now.

JEERS to today's act of war.  Do we have any British readers of C&J with us this morning?  Anyone?  Yes…one, two, three, four…looks like we have four Brits in the room with us.  And I'd just like to say: you're not getting outta here without a swirlie for this act of aggression from your government:


Or just send us a cake as big as that one and we'll call it a draw.

JEERS to death sticks.  On August 26, 1957, the Soviet Union announced it had successfully tested an intercontinental ballistic missile.  It got a B in reading, an A in math, and oddly enough, a C- in rocket science.

Emmy Award
Last night's Emmys do
not deserve an Emmy.
JEERS to the Emmy Awards.  What a freakin' snoozefest this year, with zero political or current-event references or jokes---this thing was vacuum sealed for maximum bland---and a host who brought his B-game from the Borscht Belt.  The winners last night included The Colbert Report, Louis C.K., Julia Louis-Dreyfus for Veep, and series Modern Family and Breaking Bad.  Now that I think about it, they could've just swapped out the In Memoriam segment and run last year's show.  I'd like my three hours back, please.

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Five years ago in C&J: August 26, 2009

(Tentative) CHEERS to a softer cell.  Yesterday the Obama administration announced the creation of a High-value Detainee Interrogation Group, which will---and this sounds crazy, I know---consist of a group of people who will interrogate high-value detainees.  Among other things, they'll stick to methods recommended in the Army Field manual instead of power drills, water torture and mock executions.  While skeptics roll their eyes, the group has already proven its worth, as noted by this transcript of a recent interrogation secretly obtained by C&J's investigative journalism unit (she'll fetch anything for a Milk Bone):

"Cheetos?"
"Yes, please! I find them to be yummy."
"Game 'o chess?"
"I would enjoy proving my superior strategic skills over yours, yes.  Let's---how you say---rumble."
"Scotch or bourbon?"
"Really?  Um...bourbon.  Rocks. Thanks."
"Location of Osama?"
"Kabul Burger King.  Second shift.  Doh!!!!"
"Checkmate, buddy."
I'm hopeful.

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And just one more…

Jar of paste
Breakfast is served.
CHEERS to being 5 years old.  Admit it---Kindergarten is as good as it gets.  The toys, the playground, the nappytime, the smell of sour milk, that moment when you choose to be gay (Source: James Dobson)...and no homework!  Well, you can thank the St. Louis Board of Education for that blissful year in your life---they opened the first publicly-funded kindergarten on today's date in 1873.  I even remember my kindergarten teacher: Mrs. Dunn.  Big hair, eyes that lit up whenever we drew something vaguely resembling something recognizable and, in terms of patience, a living saint.  Kindergarten, by the way, is a true rite of passage for budding tea partiers.  Its where they get their first experience pounding square pegs into round holes.  Today in the C&J Cafeteria: all-you-can-eat paste buffet.

Have an eraser-claptastic Tuesday.  And if you live in Florida, Vermont or Arizona, don't forget that today is primary day.  Do your civic duty and vote for freedom, liberty and pie.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

New research from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology revealed that humans prefer having robots in control of Cheers and Jeers.
---Tech Times

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Poll

This is a test of the November 4 Wisconsin governor's race election system. This is only a test:

94%2513 votes
3%82 votes
2%60 votes

| 2656 votes | Vote | Results

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