Just in time to post on Labor Day
(tune: Schoolhouse Rock, "No More Kings")
Picket signs and marches
Fallen Golden Arches
Pre-formed meats and starches, Whoppers and lies...
Keith Kramer had a dream
To build a restaurant in the South
In 1953
He would feed many a hungry mouth
Finally reached Miami Beach
And someone said, "Hooray!"
We'll call it "Burger King", and it'll rock the USA!
Small Business Admin had a program
They got their finance with a loan from Uncle Sam!
Gonna build a Burger King for sure, King
With a little help from SBA
Consumers will be loyal to flame-broil
Because they can have it all their way!
They planted franchises
They sold their Pepsi by the swig
And when the Whopper came
Even the name was something big
Sold their ground round by the pound
And someone said, "Well done!"
And paid their corp'rate taxes for the good of everyone!
They now had all the wealth they'd hoped for
But 3-G Capital said, "We want even more!"
Did we ever say, "Have it your way"?
Well, now we're emigres, so go away!
We'll take our special orders 'cross the borders
And we're gonna screw the USA!
They bought Tim Horton's, pretended Hortons had bought them!
To dodge their taxes, they claimed to be Canadian!
(That's called a "corporate inversion", and it's not fair)
But when America complained, BK said, "Laissez-faire!"
They have the nerve to advertise as prime-grade US beef!
But flee from Uncle Sam to hide behind a maple leaf!
Gonna show you how we feel, we'll ask you, "Where's the beef?"
And leave your corporation in a state of grief and disbelief!
You told us Whoppers once too many
If you're Canadians, then we'll all go to Denny's!
Sure, oligarchy's looking trendy
But maybe it's the trend of yesterday
We'll eat at McDonalds, or at Wendy's
And we're gonna find another way---
With no more Kings....(We're gonna buy American!)
No more Kings...(And vote with our wallets)
No more Kings...(Maybe even eat vegetables!)
No more Kings! (Don't let the door hit your buns on the way out!)
Picket signs and marches
Fallen Golden Arches
Pre-formed meats and starches, Whoppers and lies
Keep the American Dream, and a side of fries!
Original song here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OI7itQJpfE (don't even bother counting the historical errors in the original. Facepalms and Eyerolls. I has them!)