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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…

Sticks and Stones

Just for shits and giggles (and as an assist to future historians studying Obama Derangement Syndrome) I've always wanted to wade into righty blogistan's scummiest back alleys (World Net Daily, Fox Nation, Malkin's joint---places where no mundane daily event occurs without becoming woven into an End Times prophecy) to find and pluck some of the thoughtful nicknames that the conservative base has come up with for President Barack Obama. I have to say, I was a bit underwhelmed:

President Obama sitting in chair, tweeted by Obama For America in response to Clint Eastwood
I enjoy calling him
"Two Term President Barack Obama"
Bari aka Barry aka Barak … Obamadinajad (mentioned in same sentence as "McCainmadinajad") … Comrade Obuma … or, if you want to mix a dash of anti-Muslim sentiment with your communism, "Comrade Obama (PBUH!)" … Barack Obamanazi … Obomba … Odumbo … and also Liar O'Dumbo … Mr. O [In fairness, I find that perfectly respectful. Someone's mama taught someone some manners.] … Barky … Onuthin … Frankenstein Obama … Obysmal …  Soetorobama … Obowmao … Obummer … OBozo (see also: "O'Bozo") … Cub Scout Obhamma
And my favorite: "Buttfuck Insane Ovomit." Ain't that just the bee's knees.

Thank you, family values people, for keeping it classy. To return the sentiment, I short-sheeted all your beds.

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, September 4, 2014

Note: NFL season starts today as the Packers play the Seahawks.  I believe that's your cue to start tap dancing with sparklers.  Or something.
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Common Ground Country Fair in Unity Maine poster
15 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the next full moon: 4
Days 'til Maine's Common Ground Country Fair in Unity: 15
Amount Halliburton ended up paying for its role in the Deepwater Horizon oil disaster, which killed 11 people: $1.1 billion
Factor by which Halliburton's per-share price has gone up since the disaster, versus Transocean's 58% loss and BP's 27% loss: 2x
(Source: Bloomberg News)
Jobs gained per month so far this year: 230,000
(Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)
Cost of our military activities in Iraq since mid-June: $560 million
(Source: The Pentagon)
The last time box office ticket sales were as bad as they were this summer: 1997
(Source: The Portland Press Herald)

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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:

Molly ivins publicity photo  --- small
This is a column for everyone in the path of Hurricane Katrina who ever said, "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested in politics," or, "There's nothing I can do about it," or, "Eh, they're all crooks anyway."

Nothing to do with me, nothing to do with my life, nothing I can do about any of it. Look around you this morning. I suppose the NRA would argue, "Government policies don't kill people, hurricanes kill
people." Actually, hurricanes plus government policies kill people.
---September, 2005

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Puppy Pic of the Day:  Bulldog peek-a-boo

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CHEERS to 'avin a spot 'o tea wif' da guv'nuh.  Having gotten bored watching Vladimir Putin paint himself into a corner through binoculars in Estonia, President Obama jetpacked off to jolly old Britain, where he'll re-declare our independence, master a few silly walks, and then he's got some attending to do:

President Obama greets a group of children as he arrives at the Kadriorg Palace in Tallinn, Estonia  September 3, 2014.
Obama in Estonia.
> Attend an event with Prime Minister David Cameron.
> Attend a NATO Summit Session on Afghanistan.
> Attend a NATO Summit meeting of the NATO-Ukraine Commission.
> Attend a NATO Summit working dinner to discuss security challenges.
Meanwhile, closer to home, Vice President Joe Biden said in Portsmouth that we're all going to chase ISIS to the gates of Hell.  So, everyone here, please check your day planners for next Tuesday morning around 10'ish.  If that's not convenient, send him a Joemail and they'll juggle.

stamp that says
JEERS to rubbing salt in the racism.  There are some real assholes out there trying to smear gunned-down-by-cop teen Michael Brown---and, predictably, failing.  Some idiot conservative "journalist" named Chuck C. Johnson has been scooping up rhetorical mud and flinging it at Brown's headstone, hoping something will stick.  For instance he swore up and down that Brown had once been arrested for second-degree murder.  Except, y'know, we learned yesterday that he hadn't.  Holy jeebus, what a scumbag.  Please mark in your day planners that we'll be chasing
Johnson to the gates of Hell next Tuesday.  How's 11 work?

CHEERS…kinda sorta… to pragmatic centrism.  This is pretty wild: in two states, the Democratic candidate running for a major office has withdrawn from the race to boost the chances of the stronger independent (read: not as crazy as the Republican) candidate.  That happened in the Alaska governor's race, and now it's happenjed in the Kansas race for the U.S. Senate:

Greg Orman, Independent candidate for U.S. Senate from Kansas.  2014 race.
Independent Greg Orman and wife Sybil
with their two woozles, Lucy and Mala.
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A Democratic candidate for the Senate seat in Kansas has withdrawn from the race, paving the way for a serious third-party contender against longtime Republican Sen. Pat Roberts.  Chad Taylor, a little-known and underfunded candidate who won the Democratic nomination last month, told the Kansas secretary of state’s office Wednesday afternoon that he is withdrawing from the race, a spokeswoman for the office said. That move could present Roberts with a serious threat against businessman Greg Orman, an independent candidate who one recent poll said would present a serious challenge to Roberts in a head-to-head matchup.
Holy Kansas moo cow, Batman!  Orman says he'll caucus with Democrats if our team keeps the Senate majority.  And as David Nir reminds us, Roberts's favorables stand at a measly 27 percent, so now the GOP will have to pour some resources into a fight they thought was locked up tight.  Oh, and the DKos Elections crew has downgraded the Kansas senate race to "lean R."  As in, Really interesting.

JEERS to coloring outside the lines.  Did you see that Neanderthal rock art that has the Snoberatti's faux-leopard-skin leotards in a twist?  Take a look:

Neanderthal art discovered on cave wall in Gibraltar
As you can see, the lines are sloppy, the shading is off, the perspective is all out of whack, and they clearly "borrowed" from Picasso's blue period.  And Neanderthals want to be taken seriously?  No dice, buster.  If that thing is worth more than twenty mammoth testicles, I'm Grimaldi Man.  (As if!)

CHEERS to that other city that never sleeps.  On September 4, 1781, Los Angeles (Spanish for "Los Angeles") was founded by Spanish settlers.  They would've settled there sooner but traffic was a bitch.

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Five years ago in C&J: September 4, 2009

CHEERS to replenishing them thar petri dishes.  There were so many outrages during the Bush administration that it's sometimes easy to forget how thoroughly he tried to starve scientific research.  Well, under President Obama and Democrats in Congress, that GOP hooliganism (great word---please use it often) is swiftly getting reversed, says Parade:

NIH Mark O. Hatfield Clinical Research Center, Bethesda, Maryland
Among other things, NIH was
finally able to fix that step.
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[T]he long drought in federal funding has been interrupted by a sudden downpour.  Last winter, Congress voted to raise the NIH’s budget by 3.2% and passed the federal economic stimulus package, which will pump an additional $10.4 billion into the NIH’s various institutes and centers.  President Obama has asked Congress to bring the NIH’s budget slightly higher, to $31 billion for fiscal 2010, which begins Oct. 1.  In particular, the President has asked Congress to approve $6 billion for cancer research alone---part of a strategy to double funding in this area over the next eight years.
But not everyone's happy.  John McCain's push for a Department of Bone Saw Management got the axe.  His proposal just didn’t have enough teeth.

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And just one more…

Tooth Fairy
Socialist tyrant and
wealth re-distributor.
CHEERS to yankin' 'n bankin'.  Last week at the dentist I was told that I have a hive of trolls setting up camp in one of my teeth, so I'll be back there today to get 'em evicted.  It got me wondering if the NSA is still keeping a close eye (and ear) on the Tooth Fairy, given her socialist/communist tendency to buy off children's' loyalty with free money in exchange for little more than nuggets of calcium and enamel.  Sure enough, they've tabulated that when a child loses a tooth the Tooth Fairy leaves a bit less than three-and-a-half bucks.  And when an adult loses a tooth, the dentist office Accounting Fairy leaves a bill of a bit less than three-and-a-half Mercedes payments.

Have a pain-free Thursday.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

"If I want, I'll take Cheers and Jeers in two weeks,"
---Vladimir Putin

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Poll

If President Obama announces a major executive order on immigration before the midterm elections, what overall effect do you think it will have on voter turnout?

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