From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Oh! More Things I Know:
> The midterm elections are in 54 days.
> In order to defend ourselves against ISIS attacking the homeland, all Americans should be required to use blackout curtains.
What else I know: I love this Kansas billboard.
> Ben Carson is a shining example of why you should never perform neurosurgery on yourself during a bender.
> The promotion of Steven Payne (Steveningen), Frank Vyan Walton (Vyan) and Susan Grigsby (Susan from 29) to the front page increased Daily Kos's coolness quotient by 18.6 percent---a record bounce.
> Sen. John McCain and/or Rep. Mike Rogers will be booked on a Sunday morning show this weekend.
> If President Obama doesn't sing some Al Green for Kennedy Center Honoree Al Green in December, he'll leave the presidency in disgrace.
> The McDonnells are negotiating for the use of a Ferrari golf cart while they're in prison.
> Almost none of next year's high school graduates will have a recollection of the attacks of 9/11 because they were too young at the time to remember them. I bring this up to make you feel old.
> The Department of Homeland Security came into being so we wouldn't have to be scared or intimidated by terrorists anymore. Works for me.
> Someone really should've yelled "Spoiler alert" before spilling the beans about the identity of Jack the Ripper.
> The new Apple Watch has a sleep-aid feature that emits a sound guaranteed to make you drowsy. Mitch McConnell.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, September 11, 2014
Note: Tonight on Eyewitness News, Republicans say if you vote for them they'll be totally on board with defending women's reproductive rights. Flim-flam at 11.
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10 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the one-hour
The Simpsons/Family Guy
episode:
17
Days 'til Maine's 143rd
Cumberland County Fair:
10
Percent of Americans who thought in 2001 that the Afghanistan war was the right thing to do:
92%
(Source: ABC-Washington Post poll)
Percent of Americans who think in 2014 that the war was worth it:
27%
(NBC-Wall Street Journal poll)
Current number of U.S. job openings, the highest level in a dozen years:
4.67 million
(Source: Labor Dept.)
Starting price for the new Apple Watch:
$350
Sexual partners male and female baby boomers, respectively, say they've had:
14, 9
(Source: AARP)
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
We are having one of those circular arguments about how many civil liberties we can trade away in order to make ourselves safe from terrorism, without even looking at the assumption — canwe can make ourselves safer by making ourselves less free? There is no inverse relationship between freedom and security. Less of one does not lead to more of the other. People with no rights are not safe from terrorist attack.
Exactly what do we want to strike out of the U.S. Constitution that we think would prevent terrorist attacks?
---November, 2001
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Puppy Pic of the Day: One more reason Public Broadcasting must be allowed to thrive…
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The new DK front-pagers will
also get two pee breaks a day.
CHEERS to meta…no, no, I mean the
good kind! In case you missed Kos's formal introduction Tuesday, please say "hey, sup" to the
new front pagers. They are:
Steven Payne (aka Steveningen),
Frank Vyan Walton (aka Vyan) and
Susan Grigsby (aka Susan from 29). Says Kos:
We look for people who build respect among their peers in this community, are smart, and bring new perspectives to the day's issues in their writing. This is a high-pressure gig. When I began, I don't even think my wife read Daily Kos. I was able to ease into the gig without a massive audience second-guessing my every move. We now need our new front-page writers to become instantly acclimated to the glaring spotlight. Did I mention 8.5 million uniques?
As front-page cadets, they'll receive a jar of paste (and a spoon), a complimentary six-month restraining order against me (with option to extend at no extra charge), orange bellbottoms with a blue stripe, and a jumbo-size can of troll repellent. And if they're workin' out after a year, we'll remove the trap door from under their chair. Now get out there, cadets, and do what I did my first day on the FP---
break it!!!
JEERS to the 9/11 of 9/11s. And here we are once again. That day. That date. 13 years ago. Ugh. But at least the guy who made it such a horrible moment in our national consciousness (Saddam Hussein…right, Bush?) finally met his fate in the raid of the century, and a new tower stands tall at Ground Zero. But I do have a few questions I still ask myself from time to time:
Built in the twin towers' place: a
middle-finger salute to al Qaeda.
When Glenn Beck---one of the most respected figures in the Republican party---said, "When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up!' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining," why wasn't he banished into obscurity?
When Ann Coulter---one of the most respected figures in the Republican party---said, "These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much," why wasn't she banished into obscurity?
When Jerry Falwell got on TV with Pat Robertson and said, "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen'," why weren't they defrocked and shunned for the rest of their lives?
Do Republicans today remember anything about 9/11 except "Benghazi?"
And I also wonder how the 9/11 hijackers reacted when they found out the 72 virgins they met in the afterlife had orders from Mohammed to beat them with shoes for eternity? We'll never know. But I bet it was a Kodak moment.
If thoughts of war cause an
erection that lasts longer than
four hours, you're Billl Kristol.
[Cautious] CHEERS to a way forward. I'm thinking that maybe I can let out a tentative sigh of relief this morning, thanks to President Obama's address to the nation last night that kinda sorta spelled out a possible way to marshal the world's forces and destabilize ISIS, while also theoretically making the world a safer place overall. It partially makes sense, partially doesn't make sense, more study is needed, Congress has to be on the hook just as much as the president, but in the end I sorta see what Obama's trying to do, so I think I actually endorse his plan on a provisional basis unless new information comes in that might cause me to reconsider my position, which could happen five seconds from now or never. And that's
final.
JEERS to aiding and abetting the enemy. Sure, I'll call 'em traitors, based on their actions. Republicans, that is, for not taking our national security seriously, as evidenced by this reaction to President Obama's plan to neuter ISIS:
“It’s an election year. A lot of Democrats don’t know how it would play in their party, and Republicans don’t want to change anything. We like the path we’re on now. We can denounce it if it goes bad, and praise it if it goes well and ask what took him so long.”
Memo to America: Obama may be "leading from behind," but at least he's not leading
from his behind.
CHEERS to great moments in music. On September 11, 1962, the Fab Four recorded their first singles for EMI, including "Love Me Do." Or as it's called today, The British Hairdressers' National Anthem.
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Five years ago in C&J: September 11, 2009
JEERS to the 9/12 Project. Tomorrow there will be a "celebration" of the day after 9/11, funded and organized by groups like Freedomworks, the National Taxpayer's Union, and Tea Party Patriots...all tied up with a frothy bow by Glenn Beck and the Fox Opinion Channel. On their agenda: bashing Obama, raising money for Rep. Joe "You Lie" Wilson, and lamenting about how everything sucks because of that damn socialist "Democrat party." Last night on Rachel Maddow's show, Princeton University professor of politics and African-American studies Melissa Harris-Lacewell [Now Harris-Perry] summed it up in ten seconds:
In Glenn Beck's 9/12 crowd.
Harris-Lacewell: It does seem that this is a shrinking party---an exceptionally vocal, incredibly well-organized faction, but still a minority faction. ... I'm gonna say that, for now, let's just take it as a group of individuals who apparently are as terrified today as they were the day after our country was attacked of September 11, 2001.
Rachel: ...and who want the rest of us to feel that way, too.
Isn’t it also odd that the organizers didn’t bother to make an effort to invite folks from across the political spectrum to share in their day of national unity and togetherness? [
sigh] Back to the shop my lime-green rental tux goes. Again.
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And just one more…
Kos with Stephen Colbert. If benevolent
dictator is happy, everybody's happy.
CHEERS to a bright spot on an otherwise somber day. Be sure to take a moment to face Berkeley, California and shout, "Lordy, Lordy, look who's fortysomething!" Yes indeed, our malevolent kingmaker and current troll slayer, Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, turns another year wiser, and we wish him many blessings on his camels. On behalf of the C&J community, I got him the usual gifts: new star pin for his Che beret, new pair of jackboots, and a renewal of his subscription to
Popular Hispanic Hippie Commie Pinko Socialist Libtard Moonbat Vegetarian Cyclists Monthly. It's the least we could do. So that's what we did.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"We squealed when we met Bill in Portland Maine"
---Janice raffle
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