From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Parchment is Brittle---Do Not Eat!
I hope you put some extra starch in your bloomers this morning because no slouching is allowed on Constitution Day. 227 years ago, on September 17, 1787, the U.S. Constitution was signed by delegates from 12 states. And you can thank a wily West Virginia Democrat for making us pay attention to the damn thing at least once a freakin' year:
Craaazy Bob!
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Constitution Day became a national observance in 2004, when Senator Robert Byrd passed a bill designating September 17 as the day for citizens to commemorate the signing of the U.S. Constitution and learn more about our founding document. Senator Byrd once said, "Our ideals of freedom, set forth and realized in our Constitution, are our greatest export to the world." … In honor of Constitution Day, all educational institutions receiving federal funding are required to hold an educational program pertaining to the U.S. Constitution.
Fun facts:
Yeah, even that jerk Gladys in HR.
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The U.S. Constitution was prepared in secret, behind locked doors that were guarded by sentries.
When the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, it was moved to Fort Knox for safekeeping.
More than 11,000 amendments have been introduced in Congress. Thirty three have gone to the states to be ratified and twenty seven have received the necessary approval from the states to actually become amendments to the Constitution.
According to the Daily Show's classic history manual
America (The Book), the early reviews were boffo:
After the signing,
they enjoyed this
fine malt beverage.
"Checks, balances, executive, legislative, judiciary--this baby's got it all!"
---George Washington, Mount Vernon Bee-Dispatch
"The Constitution grabs you right from the Preamble and doesn't let go until the last Article…the must-ratify document of the summer!"
---Alexander Hamilton, New York Post
"Belongs in the so-bad-it's-good genre of political charters…destined to become the kind of camp classic revered by some of our more, shall we say, 'unmarried' friends."
---Melancton Smith, "Melancton's Musings" (syndicated column)
Take the quiz
here. It should be noted that Republicans care very deeply about the Constitution, and pledge to fight tooth and nail for every single word...during Democratic presidencies.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Note: Today is National Apple Dumpling Day. Please: dumple responsibly, apples.
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Dumbo starts in 9 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the vote on Scottish independence:
1
Days 'til the
Dumbo Arts Festival in Brooklyn:
9
Sales of medicinal marijuana sold in Colorado in July:
$28.9 million
Sales of recreational marijuana sold there
in July:
$29.7 million
(Source:
The Portland Press Herald)
Decrease in immigrant deportations between October '13 and July '14:
20%
The last time deportations were as low as
they are now:
2007
(Source: DHS via AP)
Estimated decrease in the bald eagle's habitat by 2080:
75%
(Source: National Audubon Society)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 186 (including 5 arms proliferations and 1 not so little devil). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Hades the dog saves little kid from swarm of bees…
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CHEERS to a picture that says a thousand words. I'll give you the first ten: America's back in the sending-people-into-space business, baby!
Congrats to Boeing and SpaceX for
landing the contracts. Let the countdown begin. And someone get Buzz Aldrin on the phone and tell him to suit up.
JEERS to the poorest richest nation on Earth. The Census Bureau released its annual poverty report yesterday, and it's a bit better than the last one. Overall, 14.5 percent of us are at or below the poverty line, down from 15 percent and the first drop since 2006. Children in poverty: 20 percent, down from 22 and the first decline since 2000. Despite the improvement, Democrats are still alarmed by the numbers and want to take strong steps to reduce poverty in America, like increasing the minimum wage, preserving the food stamp program, extending unemployment insurance, and creating robust public works programs to improve the jobs picture. Republicans say they've got their own foolproof plan for shrinking the numbers to zero: eliminate the Census Bureau's annual poverty report.
75 trips around
the sun...and boy
are his arms tired!
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CHEERS to the Bush appointee who shoulda been Chief Justice instead of that other Bush appointee. Happy Birthday to former Supreme Court Justice
David Souter, who turns 75 today. He was appointed by George H.W. Bush, who thought Souter's rulings would lean towards the "right." Fortunately, Souter interpreted the word to mean "correct," not "conservative." And it sounds like he might be a fan of Thoreau's penchant for simplicity:
According to Jeffrey Toobin's 2007 book The Nine, Souter has a decidedly low-tech lifestyle: He writes with a fountain pen, does not use e-mail, has no cell phone or answering machine. While he was serving on the Supreme Court, he preferred to drive back to New Hampshire for the summer where he enjoyed mountain climbing. Souter also has done his own home repairs.
I'd love to be able to thank him in person one of these days for not leaving the bench during 43's reign, sparing America from having a "Justice Alberto Gonzales." If they ever start handing out a Presidential Medal of Republic Preservation, he should be in the front of the line.
CHEERS to the silence of the haters. Remember those obnoxious blockheads who marched by the thousands against gay marriage in Paris when France was going through the process of legalizing it? Remember when gay marriage was legalized and the police had to park water cannons outside because the blockheads threatened violence? Well, here's an update for ya: the blockheads came off as idiots back then and they're coming off as even bigger idiots now:
The blockheads in April. They've given
up the fight against gay marriage.
And history moves gaily forward.
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The Mayor of Paris has celebrated the 2000th same-sex marriage having taken place in her city, saying she is “delighted.” A law recognising equal marriage took effect in May, which followed months of sometimes violent protests and a rise in homophobic attacks. Anne Hildalgo said in a statement: “While the law allowing marriage for all has now been in place for over a year, I am delighted that Parisian society has taken advantage of the change. Because this law is a major democratic progress and helps fulfill our Republican motto, everyone must ensure its faithful implementation."
No surprise: no protests.
"Y'all have a good sleep
with the fishies, Osammy."
JEERS to the worst sheriff in history. Here's a little memento of our sorry recent-past that I always like to isolate and hose down with disinfectant. On September 17, 2001, President George "W Stands for Decider" Bush evoked the image of an old west "WANTED" poster, vowing to catch Osama bin Laden
"Dead or Alive." Bush failed (big surprise there) to nab "America's Most Wanted," either dead or alive. But Seal Team Six under the authority of President Barack Obama sure didn't, and now 72 virgins are taking turns smacking bin Laden---who turned out to be a garden-variety narcissistic porn-addicted slob---in the face with shoes for the rest of eternity. Much obliged.
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Five years ago in C&J: September 17, 2009
JEERS to a really shitty way to go. How many times do we have to read about people getting electrocuted in the shower over in Iraq? And how the hell do you get electrocuted in the shower, anyway? The latest victim is a 25 year-old from Las Vegas, and Senator Harry Reid wants an investigation to find out what the hell caused it. On the C&J probability scale, from least to most likely: A) Lightning, B) Toaster tossed in by James Bond villain, C) Worst electricians in the world working for construction company who won no-bid contract but still tried to cut corners so they could make even bigger profits. D) Electric eel. And I hope they prosecute the slimy fucker.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to America's highest token of respect. President Obama awarded the Medal of Honor this week to a pair of servicemembers who fought in Vietnam. One of them, Command Sergeant Major Bennie G. Adkins, is still living and received his Monday afternoon. In conjunction with that, the White House released a very cool video that shows what goes into the presentation of the granddaddy of all military medals---in this instance for Cpl. Kyle Carpenter, who threw himself on a grenade in Afghanistan:
In addition to the medal, each recipient receives a service ribbon, a lapel button, and stiff belt.
Have a nice Wednesday. Don't forget to check out the Netroots Nation Fall Auction. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Daily Kossacks buzzing after Meteor Blades seen streaking across Cheers and Jeers
---CTV News
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