From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
The Kossack Brain is a Fearsome Throbbing Beast
The third quarter of 2014 has officially been vanquished by the evil time troopers and their leader, Sir Ticksalot. That means it's C&J number-crunching time. Every few months we post the results of some recent C&J polls (no relation to actual pollster polls, which means we pass the savings on to you) to give you a snapshot of our collective neural activity which, if we could bottle it, would probably violate several federal, state and local bottling laws. These are results from July through September, and the total number of votes each poll received is in parentheses:
• 93% of you believe it would be a good idea to disconnect health insurance in this country from places of employment. (5,911)
• 69% think George W. Bush is the worst post-WW II president, followed by Reagan (15%), and Nixon (6%). (8,028)
• 49% prefer an open primary system (can vote for either party's candidates), while 43% prefer one that's closed (must declare a party preference). (3,636)
True Fact: in every C&J poll
there are at least a hundred
write-in votes for pie.
• The three-year-old Consumer Financial Protection Bureau gets mixed reviews. 16% give it an A, 31% a B, 16% a C, and 23% have no opinion. (2,628)
• 13% of you have been pulled over by the cops once, and 80% of you scofflaws more than once. (3,371)
• 89% of you thought the way the Ferguson, Missouri police handled the aftermath of Michael Brown's murder by officer Darren Wilson was "the worst example of how law enforcement should conduct itself," versus 1% (Hello, trolls!) who called it a good example. (4,015)
• 59% won’t miss David Gregory as host of Meet the Press. 29% of you clicked the poll choice marked "Who?" (4,194)
• 93% believe Congress should be required to take a vote authorizing President Obama's plan to cripple the ISIS/ISIL terrorist network. (3,270)
• 57% believe it's a smart decision for President Obama to delay his executive actions on immigration until after the midterm elections. 40% disagree. (3,437)
• 37% thought Scotland would vote yes to become an independent country, 26% thought they wouldn't, while the rest of you stayed neutral. (3,177).
As always, thanks for participating in our C&J polls. Every time you push that little "Vote" button, a gnat flies up Louie Gohmert's nose.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Note: You and I at war with America, but most Americans don’t realize it. Bwoo ha ha! Bwoo ha ha! (It's true---read the Words of Wisdom from the Right-Wing Blogosphere below.) I call dibs on the tyranny bazooka.
-
11 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Yom Kippur:
3
Days 'til
Atlanta Pride:
11
Adjusted annual GDP for the second quarter of 2014:
4.6%
(Source: Commerce Dept.)
Approximate amount of earth's water that may be older than the sun:
50%
(Source:
Scientific American)
Acres on which tobacco was grown in Wisconsin in 1944 and 2014, respectively:
30,000 / 900
Sticker price of the 50th anniversary edition of the
Ford Mustang, of which only 1,964 (get it?) will be made:
$46,995
Win-loss record of the Boston Red Sox last year and this year:
97-65 & 71-90
-
Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Liberals are at war with America, but most Americans don't realize it. And since Christianity is the bedrock of the country, liberal must first destroy the bedrock so they can rebuild their ideal, do what I say, think what I think, eat what I tell you, and free speech is limited to what they say it is. I will not submit to this luniacy (sic) and furthermore, I will fight to my death to stop it.
---Commenterc RovertC at the Daily Caller
All together now: 1…2…3…
Drama queen.
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: The Humane Association's Hero Dog of the Year is…
-
CHEERS to cautious optimism. Given that Maine has one of the worst governors in the country (Republican bigmouth Paul LePage), you'd think the race wouldn't be as tight as it is up here 35 days before the election. The latest polling was released over the weekend (by the University of New Hampshire) and the best you can say is Democrat Mike Michaud is clinging to a slim lead:
Rep. Mike Michaud---Maine's next governor
(But it's gonna be close.)
The poll…shows Michaud leading LePage 40 percent to 38 percent, with independent Eliot Cutler drawing 12 percent. …
UNH Survey Center Director Andrew Smith said he was not surprised the race has tightened between Michaud and LePage. Smith said Michaud was benefiting from the anti-LePage vote, but he may need more than opposition to the governor if he’s going to win.
From the looks of it, LePage is implementing a three-pronged campaign: cracking down on welfare cheats who are stealing YOUR money, cracking down on Democrats who want to coddle illegal immigrants (all of them scary, of course) with YOUR money, and trying to con people into believing that his four-year stream of non-stop sexist, racist, false and downright creepy comments is just him being "plainspoken." So, yeah. We're chewin' through a lot of drywall up here.
JEERS to takesie backsides. When Britain turned Hong Kong over to China, it was agreed that the democracy in place there wouldn't be messed around with by the commies. So China is apparently doing some messing around, and that's brought out protesters by the gajillion, fueled by the local Occupy movement. And now the movement's got a pretty catchy name:
"I'm siiingin' in the gas.
Just siiingin' in the gas..."
Some protesters are already labeling the movement "the umbrella revolution" for the umbrellas many are holding to deflect pepper spray and tear gas that was lobbed by police on Sunday night. That fueled even more protesters to come out in force Monday. Tens of thousands of young demonstrators blocked what are normally some of Hong Kong's busiest streets. … The protest was sparked by anger over China's refusal to allow the open selection of candidates for Hong Kong's leader, called the chief executive, in the city's first democratic election scheduled for 2017. […]
Several protesters said Monday this is their first taste of political action. "The tear gas changed my mind," Pang said. "The students had no weapons, why did the police do that?"
Responded America's Occupy movement: "Oh, where to begin..."
CHEERS to great inventions. On September 30, 1846, William Morton---a Boston dentist---used ether as an anesthetic for the first time. It worked really well. But he had even better success the next day when he used it on the patient.
-
-
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The Two Word Answer Man. Dylan Scott at TPM asks: Why Did A Pack Of Twentysomethings Allegedly Beat A Gay Couple In Philly?
Mean drunks.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
-
-
JEERS to swiss cheese security. The head of the Secret Service will face a committee hearing today in front of members of Congress to explain why her head has been up her tuchus as assailants shoot up and infiltrate the White House, and then the Secret Service whitewashes and/or covers up the details. There's much to be answered for. How could these incidents happen? What's being done to prevent this from happening again? And most important, how the hell did someone get vacationing members of Congress to come back to Washington???
CHEERS to pretty pictures. September is on the cusp of getting disappeared, and you folks in the southeast will find this hurricane-season snapshot by the NOAA suitable for framing:
Only two months to go. Have a nice day.
JEERS to the ultimate sentence. On September 30, 1630 the first execution in the New Land happened just down the road from C&J's house when pilgrim John Billington was hanged in Plymouth, Massachusetts. In celebration of the event, Texas Governor Rick Perry and his staff are taking the day off.
-
Five years ago in C&J: September 30, 2009
JEERS to economic whiplash. Hooray---the recession is over and we're out of the woods! Correction---the recession is over and we're still deep in the woods:
Wrong direction.
The recession has hit middle-income and poor families hardest, widening the economic gap between the richest and poorest Americans as rippling job layoffs ravaged household budgets. ... Household income declined across all groups, but at sharper percentage levels for middle-income and poor Americans. Median income fell last year from $52,163 to $50,303, wiping out a decade's worth of gains to hit the lowest level since 1997.
Two things: 1) I wonder which Sunday morning news show John McCain will appear on this week to calm a weary nation with his mavericky resolve. 2) The teabaggers are too dumb to know that this is the kind of thing they should be out protesting---and not on the mall, but in front of corporate headquarters everywhere. Oh, and I'm gonna guess
Face the Nation. [9/30/14 Update: Damn. It was Meet the Press.]
-
CHEERS to Nutjob 101. Sunday night on HBO's Last Week Tonight, John Oliver gave America a refresher course on the tea party's favorite intellectual activity, Ayn Rand worship. From their inability to pronounce her name correctly to their feeble attempts to sweep her pro-abortion, anti-god, anti-Reagan views under the rug, it's here in all its discombobulated glory (click the play button then click "Watch on You Tube"):
And while we're on the subject, it's worth noting that the exciting, must-see final installment in the Atlas Shrugged trilogy has, since its release over two weeks ago, made a whopping $830,000---the 212th worst-performing movie of the past 12 months. Apparently the legions of conservative moviegoers have "Gone Galt," which in laymen's terms means, "Went to see Guardians of the Galaxy instead."
Sorry, but I won’t be able to publish another column until "next month" ha ha ha ha never gets old. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Erick Erickson: People Who Believe In Bill in Portland Maine Are Dumb And Jealous
---Right Wing watch
-