Let's have some fun. Bring them on. The good, the bad, the ugly, the hilarious, the not so hilarious, whatever form, tell us your best GOP/Tea Party/ Republican jokes.
You Might Be A Republican If...
You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"
You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"
You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.
You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."
You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."
You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."
More;
You might be a Republican if...
You've ever complained about liberal bias in the obituaries section.
You might be a Republican if...
Your electric chair has a kite with a key on it.
You might be a Republican if...
You'll spend $20 billion guarding a bridge against the possibility of a terrorist attack, but won't spend 20 cents to keep it from falling down on its own.
You might be a Republican if...
You think a Lynch film is a documentary on race relations.
You might be a Republican if...
You think spooning is something you do at Dairy Queen.
You might be a Republican if...
You think smeared bagels are victims of the New York Times.
You might be a Republican if...
You think the right to free assembly is talking about construction companies.
You might be a Republican if...
You have to number the entries of "Hate Week" on your calendar.
You might be a Republican if...
Your desk has a drawer for holding computer punchcards.
You might be a Republican if...
You classify an elegant dinner as one that needs holes punched in the plastic.
You might be a Republican if...
You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
You might be a Republican if...
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
You might be a Republican if...
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
You might be a Republican if...
You've ever called education a luxury.
You might be a Republican if...
You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
You might be a Republican if...
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
On with the games!!
Mojo Friday Guidelines
Disclaimer; Kinda like the Pirates Code, they're just guidelines, meant for fun. They aren't hard and fast rules.
1) If you comment you have to recommend all comments. (in order to receive mojo you have to give mojo. It's only good mojo manners.)
2) Everything you say may be taken as a joke (so if you ask a question, expect a silly answer)
3) You must recommend the diary (and pimp it unapologetically)
4) You don't have to comment to recommend.
5) You can't steal my idea (right, like that ain't goin' to happen. It has in numerous forms, I'm flattered!)
6) Mojo mojo mojo mojo, mojo mojo mojo.
7) TexDem (that's me) is not bound by the guidelines. Neither are you
Mojo Friday Goals
Disclaimer; These are mostly here for nostalgia, the site has changed so much and the servers have been upgraded to the point I don't think we could fuck with the site with 1000 people participating. 2007 it ain't.
A. At least 300 different commenters and 1000 comments by 1:30 PM EST and 1500 by 5:00 PM EST Friday Night that it's posted.
B. 100 recommends for each comment, at least.
C. Stay on Recommend List at least five hours (this requires some strategic planning by you guys, refer to guideline #3)
D. At least 200 diary recommends. 300 would be better, spread the word.
E. And always, fun fun fun.
F. Have at least 75% average participation rate as seen here in the Mojo Friday Postgame Show by Woodtick and bjedward.
G. (New) Have at least 30 kossacks over 90% participation (see here for some tips).
H. Overload the servers with recommends, not to mention dominate Top Comments Mojo list. (we do tend to mess with the site with all of our recommends at one time)(also, to dominate the Top Comments Top Mojo we need at least 50 comments with over 200 recommends, see guideline B)
I. That's enough for now. (Have a suggestion? Post it.)
MKinTN posted a diary to help everyone achieve greater success called How to Succeed at Mojo Friday Without Really Trying.
For those of you new to MF (Mojo Friday) we have our own lingo about a few things. Thank's to MF'er Jez (the link will explain) go to this diary for a little more fun and explanation. Official Mojo Friday Snecktionary.