Bear with me here. There is a thing called Understanding The Times with Jan Markell. It's a radio show. In the latest episode:
Jan Markell and co-host Eric Barger spend the entire hour with Rep. Michele Bachmann. She spent August travelling to five nations. The purpose, in part, was to learn more about ISIS and it’s threat to the free world, particularly America. Why did Barack Obama release the ISIS leader from prison in Iraq in 2009?
Good question. Maybe because he
didn't. George W. Bush did.
How is the President’s worldview destabilizing the entire world?
Another good question. I'm going to go with 'it isn't'.
She also spent time on our southern border in August and gives a troubling report.
You mean Bachmann ever gives any other kind?
Bachmann represents the 6th District in Minnesota and has been a long-time friend of Olive Tree Ministries. She is a committed believer and a student of the end-times.
You mean she's a nutjob. So what did Crazy-Eyes Shelly
have to say?
After arguing that ISIS members are entering the country as they illegally cross the southern border and “march through our United States airports,” Bachmann made the false claim that “President Obama released Baghdadi,” referring to ISIS leader Abu Bakr al Baghdadi. In fact, he was released during the Bush administration.
“I don’t want to see the car bombings and all of the havoc and chaos coming to the United States that we see in Baghdad,” she said. “Since we have the Islamic State come into the United States, we’ll see a wave of car bombings and bombings that occur here in the United States that would begin the process of destabilization to bring them to the point of defeating us here in the United States.”
Oh no! Time to freak the fuck out
a la Huckleberry Graham!
Here's an idea: we need to ban all cars. No cars, no car bombs. And when are we going to get that alligator-filled canal to guard the southern approaches? Because nothing says 'we are serious about border security' like a 2000-mile canal filled with alligators.
And isn't Rep. Bachmann forgetting something? The little matter of Canada? Almost 4000 miles of Welcome Mat right there. ISIS may be a bunch of bloodthirsty lunatics but they can read a damned map.
We need to start a special program, cross-breeding wolverines, alligators and honey badgers. Then we dig a trench from the Pacific to the Atlantic and fill it with the resulting Honey Wolligators©. Game, set and match, ISIS.
I'm just spitballing here but it makes about as much sense as Bachmann's deranged blather.