What follows has been weighing on my heart. I have a bit of a personal quandary that is testing my Quaker faith and my belief in pacifism. I would greatly appreciate your advice and feedback, should you be so led. Any good ideas are taken in good order. You don't have to be a Quaker or even have a belief in any God.
The long and short of it is this. Both of my sisters got involved with men who were physically and emotionally abusive. One of them had enough foresight to document her wounds with a digital camera. These men both committed violent domestic abuse and battery. One got out on a plea bargain, then the other escaped scot free. I was enraged that the penalty they paid in a court of law was so minimal.
My father has a background in law enforcement. One of the abusive men was a bartender by trade. Dad pulled some strings and had his bartender's license revoked. He has plans to retaliate against the other abuser in a way he will not disclose to me. He alluded to certain vague plans yet to be finalized. I said that I simply didn't want to know.
How should one respond in a non-violent manner to this violent act? I understand now why feminists insist upon zero tolerance when sentencing appears to be a slap on the wrist. One of the perpetrators deserves to be in jail, but had a weak case built against him. He was at least forced to pay alimony, but here is another example of how unfair our criminal justice system can be. These payments paid out only for three or four months, and when they re-calibrated her income, they found he could pay far less.
We've talked about these sorts of issues.in feminist circles. My father is resorting to a kind of vigilante justice, using his connections to serve his purposes. I think his police background may shield him from prosecution. And in a way, there is something chivalric about his behavior, but I wonder if things might get out of control. In a way, my father is something of a hero to my sisters because he is willing to make things like this happen.
I remain conflicted. Fight back or let it slide? My father adheres to a code of tough guy masculinity, one I have rarely incorporated my own. Am I behaving cowardly to not respond, and not restoring the honor of both of my sisters? What is my role as a Friend?