Despite rosy economic numbers from Washington and Wall Street, there's no doubt that the last few years have been tough on a lot of people. I myself spent seven months in the basement of a bakery bagging rolls and buttering bread to make sure my wife and I could make rent... and even then we had to dip into savings. We are still almost $20,000 in debt seven years after graduating from college, both with honors, and we're considered the lucky ones. What was once promised as a golden opportunity for my generation has turned into a fight for survival, and it is in that vein that I often find myself humming this tune:
Come along below to see if it really is such a nasty world.
I first came across this song on an internet countdown of Greatest Villain Songs, and immediately got stuck in my head.
The song is from a kitschy adaptation of the classic tale "The Wind in the Willows" by Kenneth Grahame that features Monty Python alums John Cleese, Terry Jones, Eric Idle, and Michael Palin. That should give you a vague idea of what kind of adaptation we're talking about. It may not necessarily be a good adaptation, but this scene alone almost makes up for it. There's something insidious about this song, the way it worms into your head when you least expect it. So, when I get yet another job rejection notice, or when I read again how times are getting tougher and tougher despite the Dow or corporate profits breaking records left and right... I find myself going back to this ditty and muttering the lyrics, thinking of those nasty, egg-sucking ne'er-do-well Weasels. They are very well dressed in this scene, much better than our poor friend the mole, in his fingerless gloves and dull, rough earth tones. They seem to rule the roost here in the "Wild Wood," exerting their power and influence over the more timid and gentle creatures. It's very obvious that, within these confines, they are in charge, they make the rules, and all others would be powerless to try and change that.
What an excellent allegory for our current governmental system.
Well-dressed and well-heeled types strut up and down the "wild wood" of K street, exacting influence and power that us lowly ones in the rest of the country could not ever seem to match. However, in their minds they are not doing it out of malice, or of cruelty, or of some fundamental lack of empathy. They will tell you themselves that it is simply "our secret of survival in a very nasty world."
"First you see us, they you don't," they sing, "Now you hear us, and now you won't." Think of names like Sheldon Adelson or Foster Freiss, men who the general public never would have known, never would have seen had they not hand-picked their own personal favorite presidential candidates to swing their considerable financial bulk behind in 2012. When it was time for Mr. Adelson to choose who he wanted to be president, to the tune of $70 million, now you see him. When it came time for his casinos, the things that made him so fabulously wealthy, to come under criminal investigation... now you don't. When lobbying groups like the National Rifle Association believe that the profits of gun manufacturers are in danger, now you hear them. But when 26 children and teachers are gunned down in their school... now you don't.
At least, not right away.
It's all part of the scheming and the political game, but surely they will tell you that it's just "our secret of survival in a very nasty world."
"Now you feel us," the weasels sing, bringing to mind the way massive corporate donors flooded the state of Wisconsin in 2011 in support of Scott Walker, making their presence felt in inescapable television and internet ads, "now you can't," they sing, a reminder that that same money was dark money. We don't know who spent it, or how much thanks to ludicrous loopholes regarding political hatchet-crews masquerading as 501(c)4 "Social Welfare Organizations." "Are we real?" the corporations ask, regarding the dark money, or the thousands of shadow corporations and dummy fronts that allow them to often escape all taxation, "perhaps we aren't." As you can see here, it's almost impossible sometimes to find out what is real and what is not regarding who to buy, who to support, or who to boycott if you somehow manage to trace the money back.
But, they will constantly remind you, that it's just "our secret of survival in a very nasty world."
But let's look at the world they believe is so nasty. It is their world, they own it, and they appear to rule in it. They swear up and down that it is very nasty, "nastier than you could ever dream of," yet they seem to be well dressed, well fed, and to be having an all around good time during this musical number. Perhaps, if they gave up a little of what they had, it could be a little less nasty for everyone? They caution of "eyes and jaws, claws and teeth," all in an attempt to frighten the common man, thinking that it is far too dangerous, far too futile to fight. They are "ready to attack you," sing the weasels, blaming someone else, some sinister dark creature for the danger in the world they seem to control, and "you'd better run" because you lack any protection from these mysterious dangers.
"Every creature for survival" they sing, "has to look out for itself. Got no no nannies, here, or grannies, dear to look after your health." This tune could be sung by any particular Randian politican today as they rail against a pretended "socialism" or the often quoted "nanny state." And, chillingly, the less that is said about the current plutocratic focus and the line "don't go walking in the Wild Wood if you haven't got a gun," the better. They chide the average man (or mole) that "every child could tell you that you have got no business to be here!"
This is not a place for the average American anymore, it is a place for those who look out only for themselves. We are not forming a more perfect union, we are splintering it to protect our own. There is no domestic tranquility in a world where everyone is out for themselves. Go back to your holes, little moles, because this world is far too nasty for someone like you to survive. It is a world that the weasels have made for themselves, a nasty world that requires equally nasty actions to survive... and that's the way they like it.
So, what am I trying to say here? This is obviously a little silly, comparing a British children's program to the current state of our government. And yet, as I have explained, it all seems to make sense. Why is that?
The answer is simple: a children's story speaks usually in broad strokes of good and bad, black and white, right and wrong. The big donors, big lobbyists, and weaselly Congressmen and women that currently hold our democracy hostage are as easy to paint as if they were a creation of a six year old: they are mean, callous, unscrupulous bullies that truly believe that their warped reality is the proper one. They are a cartoonish, over the top pastiche of villains who seek to block money for wounded veterans and the elderly while securing bigger and bigger contracts for tanks and jet fighters. They are so far beyond the pale that they can be easily defined and compared to men acting as weasels in bowler hats, and that should say a lot for the current state of things. But, they will remind you, it's all about survival in this very nasty world, and as long as they have enough eggs to suck and moles to terrorize, they will continue to consider themselves a success.
Why not send folks to Washington to dig out a few holes underneath these weasels? Perhaps a humble, unassuming mole can find a way to turn this wild wood of American politics into something a little less... ridiculous. More moles, less weasels.
Or perhaps, if you know the story well enough, a big, angry badger can clear out those weasels, too.
*Originally published 4/8/2013 at GenerationExtant dot com.