There is a new report out from the Williams Institute. This time it is about transgender people and the issue is parenthood. This meta-study is entitled Transgender Parenting: a review of existing research. The review was conducted by Rebecca L. Stotzer, Jody L. Herman and Amira Hasenbush
The authors looked at the 51 studies which have been done on the prevalence and characteristics of transgender people who are parents, the quality of relationships between transgender parents and their children, out- comes for children with a transgender parent, and the reported needs of transgender parents.
Full disclosure: I am the parent of an adult child.
Between one quarter and one half of all transgender people report being parents, which is a lower rate than the general public (a report by Halle (2002) found that 65% of adult males and 74% od adult females were parents).
Some studies suggest that that there may be substantial differences in the rates of parenting among trans men, trans women, and gender non-conforming individuals. In all the studies included in this review that provided data about different transgender subgroups, higher percentages of transgender women than transgender men reported having children.
Two studies have found that people who transition or “come out” as transgender later in life tend to have higher parenting rates than those people who identify as transgender and/or transition at younger ages. This higher rate of parenting could be due to individuals becoming biological parents before they identified as transgender or transitioned.
All the studies which asked discovered that there were more transgender people who have had children than there were transgender people living with children.
It may be that many of the respondents represented in these studies had adult children who are no longer living with them. However, there is some evidence that formal and informal attempts to limit the contact of transgender parents with their children may also partially explain this discrepancy.
The vast majority of transgender people reported that their relationships with their children were good to "generally positive", even after transitioning
Studies of the children of transgender parents found no evidence that having a transgender parent affects the child's gender identity or sexual orientation development...or any effect on any other developmental milestones.
Transgender parents have reported having social service needs related to child care, networking with other parents, and support for family planning.
Transgender parents have reported discrimination – either formally through the courts or informally by the child(ren)’s other parent – in child custody and visitation arrangements. Transgender people who wish to adopt may experience discrimination in adoption.
The recommendations made in the report basically call for more research.
- More research is needed to understand differences in parenting rates among various groups of transgender people, including to examine differences based on gender, race/ethnicity, and socioeconomic status, whether a parent has transitioned, age of transition, factors related to family formation, and other characteristics that may drive differences in parenting rates among transgender people. Research on these topics may shift over time in terms of outcomes as society becomes more accepting of transgender and gender non-conforming people.
- Further research is needed to determine whether discrimination against transgender parents or potential parents – either formally or informally – has an impact on the prevalence of parenting, as well as the prevalence of children living with a transgender parent.
- Further research is needed to more clearly illuminate how parent-child relationships evolve in relation to a parent’s transition. Research on parent-child relationships should take into account the age of the children when transition occurs and examine transgender parents’ relationships with adult children and with children born subsequent to their transition.
- More research is needed, including longitudinal studies, to assess various developmental and other outcomes for children of transgender parents.
- Another area where research is needed is in family formation, including regarding increased availability of options to assist reproduction. A more nuanced approach to studying family formation among transgender people will provide better understanding of how transgender people are becoming parents and what their needs may be.
- Relatedly, further research is needed to understand the differences in family formation and parenting among transgender people by age cohort and by age of transition. Family formation may be quite different for self-identified transgender people who are currently younger and those who have transitioned at earlier ages than those who had children as part of relationships prior to their transition. Further research can illuminate these differences and the different needs of those cohorts.
- Future research should also consider focusing on gender non-conforming parents, including people who identify as genderqueer or outside the gender binary.
- Finally, further research and designed interventions are needed to begin to address discrimination by courts, adoption agencies, and foster care and child welfare systems.
Data collection and research in these areas and others will lead to a fuller understanding of the experiences and needs of transgender parents and their children, as well as discrimination and bias they may face.
Herewith are some comments provided by children:
Linda wants to be a woman. Linda wants to start a fresh life. She likes living as a woman. I think that is happy for her. At first (when I was 41⁄2) I didn’t quite understand. As I got older, I realized she must be happy living as a woman, so I’ll just accept that.
--7-year-old son of a trans woman
My Mother’s not happy in the body she is in. My mom is a lot happier since starting to live as who she wants to be. When I was 13, my mother said, 'I want to be a man, do you care?’ I said, no, as long as you are the same person inside and still love me. I don’t care what you are on the outside... It’s like a chocolate bar. It’s got a new wrapper but it’s the same chocolate inside.”
--14-year-old daughter of a trans man
Jim (mother) is my dad because he is having a sex change. It’s alright with me. If it makes Jim happy, it makes me happy.
--10-year-old son of a trans man
Studies have discovered that the main stressors for children during a parent's coming out process involve the tension between the parents and the divorce/relationship dissolution process. 22% of adult children admitted being stressed when they found themselves "in the middle."
Two studies highlighted findings concerning how others’ perceptions of the sexual orientation and gender expression of the parents can affect the parent-child relationship. In a series of interviews with ten female-to-male transgender people, Ryan (2009) reported that for some trans men partnered with women, transitioning was more acceptable to their parents and made certain social interactions easier for their children, because they were no longer perceived by others as a lesbian couple. Hines (2006/2007) also found that parents who transitioned from female to male had rel- atively smoother transitions within their respective families because these individuals already had androgynous/masculine presentation prior to transition, implying a greater general acceptance of masculinity among those perceived as women than femininity among those perceived as men.
Three studies have focused on the self-perceptions of transgender parents in relation to traditional maternal/paternal parenting roles. Ryan’s (2009) study of trans men found that although they had transitioned from being “mothers” of children, they had already felt like fathers in many ways. One participant was asked when he started feeling like his child’s father, to which he replied, “Always. There was no shift except that I was being seen that way. So I was finally being seen [as her father] once I transitioned” (Ryan, 2009, pg. 145). Trans men in this study also reported they felt the need to “do fathering differently” and that they felt less constrained by conventional definitions of fatherhood because of their own experiences with gender identity (Ryan, 2009). Similarly, in a different ethnography of trans men, two trans men who had given birth to children as trans men reported that they experienced the pregnancy and birth in ways that were quite different from non-transgender women, which reinforced and confirmed their identities as men (Rubin, 2003). Finally, Faccio et al (2013) found that among trans women who became parents prior to their transi- tion, participants focused on the role of “parent” in general rather than linking their parenting ability specifically with gendered parenting (i.e., being “mothers” or “fathers”).
For the think-about-the-children crowd:
Several studies have looked at social acceptance of children with transgender parents and the possible negative impact of discrimination or shunning from peers. These studies have generally found that harassment and teasing by peers is infrequent (Green, 1998; Freedman et al., 2002; Aitken et al. 2007; Reisbig, 2007). For instance, Freedman et al. (2002) found that 6 out of 18 (33%) children with transgender parents reported difficulties with peers generally (not related to their parent’s gender identity), 6% reported issues with depression, and none reported problems with harassment, persecution, or victimization. One study, however, found a substantial rate of bullying from peers. In a small sample of adult children with transgender parents, Veldorale-Griffin (in press) found that 33% had experienced bullying from children at school.
Two studies found that children of transgender parents reported feeling protective of a transgender parent when they noticed discrimination or social rejection their transgender parent faced (e.g., Hines, 2006/2007; Pyne, 2012). Pyne (2012) reported that children sometimes noticed the discrimination or social rejection their transgender parent faced, such as people using the wrong pronouns or laughing at the parent. One set of parents reported that their children were hurt or angered by these forms of injustice but were able to teach their children strategies to appropriately handle these types of situations.
In a study of 50 transgender parents, Haines et al. (2014) found that many transgender parents preemptively prepared themselves and their families for the possibility of experiencing stigma as a family, or their children experiencing stigma. Many respondents discussed how they had, or would, handle experiences of anti-transgender bullying of their children in the following ways: 1) notifying authorities, 2) processing negative events directly with their child(ren), and 3) selectively disclosing as a future prevention strategy.
The study authors also recommend that federal agencies and administrators of national population-based surveys include questions to identify transgender respondents on surveys, such as the American Community Survey (ACS) and the National Survey on Family Growth (NSFG). The ability to identify transgender people in national, population-based surveys will help create national benchmarks for certain aspects of transgender parenting.