I was reading all the commentary and looking at the polls getting depressed, and I thought: how could people consider voting for some of these right-wing nut jobs. Then I realized I really didn't know how Republicans or their supporters even think or if they think. So here's a little song sung to the tune of Jans Ian's "At Seventeen" that helped me sort through it all.
I learned the truth at seventeen
The year I joined the GOP
A humorless group with phony smiles
Who side with the boss, but then get fired
The frivolous thoughts of youth
Were as dangerous as John Wilkes Booth
Fun was meant for liberals
At seventeen, I learned the truth
And those of us with angry faces
Who hang around with paranoid crazies
And claim that women belong at home
While dialing up sex chats on the phone
Complaining about how liberal immorality
Is ruining our society
It isn’t all it seems, at seventeen
The brown eyed girl at the McDonald’s in town
That talk radio warned me about
Who asked would you go out with me
But I was certain she was here illegally
She was hot and I should have said yes
But instead I called the INS
Then I called Sean Hannity
It isn’t all it seems, at seventeen
I said things some that are insane
The Democrats I liked to blame
For everything that seemed to go wrong
Even the size of my dong
With sinister eyes I stared at you
Wondering if you are a Jew
I read propaganda by the ream, at seventeen
I liked the union busting gang
Who took dad’s pension which they drained
And I wondered why my name was never called
For a game of nude volleyball
I had no friends it really seems
Except the bloggers on my screen
I wasted all my days of youth
Aspiring to be uncouth
I hated scientists who dared
To use their brains and seem to care
About the future of our world
And think their smarter than my gerbil
They talked and say look at these facts
But I surfed the net while I drink Blatz
To read about how the Clintons killed Vince Foster
I joined the GOP, at seventeen.